The Journey of the Phoenix

-Chapter 10: Dawning-

Shortly after Snape and Draco Malfoy rushed down the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, the Death Eaters who had been up there came down. Through the debris of the crashed ceiling and the jinxes that were being thrown all around, they made their way towards the staircase leading to the grounds. Soon, the rest of the Death Eaters started retreating and heading to the same direction.

"No!" McGonagall called out to Tonks, who made to follow them. "Let them leave!"

"But what if they run into other kids?"

"They won't, the kids are in their dormitories. Besides, Severus, Harry and Hagrid are down there, they'll defend Hogwarts if they try to do any harm." She then spotted the broken chandelier on the floor; it had crashed down when the ceiling had collapsed. She fixed it quickly, lighted it and set it to float around the room, so as to provide them with some light.

"Where's Filius?" Remus asked, treating a bleeding scratch on his arm. "He didn't come back from going to alert Severus."

Tonks bent over Neville. "How are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"Hurt," he mumbled with difficulty.

"He has to go to the hospital wing," she said to McGonagall.

"Bill too," McGonagall said, feeling his pulse, sorrow overwhelming her as she stared at the young man's slaughtered face.

"Ginny, are you all right?" Remus asked the red-haired girl.

She didn't speak. Her eyes were fixed at her eldest brother, her expression full of horror. Ron approached her and put his arm around her shoulder.

Footsteps were heard from the stairway across the corridor. Everybody looked up. Luna's blond head appeared.

"It's safe, Hermione," they heard her say, "come on."

Luna approached them. Behind her, Hermione followed, levitating carefully Flitwick's unconscious body.

"What happened to him?" McGonagall asked.

"He collapsed in Professor Snape's office," Hermione explained. "He was hurt in the head. His leg was bleeding too, but I managed to stop it."

"Leave him on the floor, please."

Hermione did.

"Rennervate," McGonagall said, pointing at Flitwick. A ray of red light hit him on the chest, but nothing happened. Gathering more force, she repeated the spell more loudly. Still nothing. McGonagall started growing frustrated. Then, a thought occurred to her. "Finite incantantum," she tried.

Flitwick's eyes fluttered open. "What's going on?" he asked in his squeaky voice.

"Didn't you say he collapsed?" McGonagall asked Hermione, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Yes..." Hermione stuttered. "I don't understand..."

"Filius, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Minerva..." He sat up, rubbing his head. "Things are a little blurry, though."

"You should go get some rest," she said.

"No..." He made an effort to rise. "I need to check upon my kids... what if the Death Eaters attacked them?"

"Filius, you're not in the position -"

"I am, but even if I weren't, it is my duty to take care of them."

"The rest of us can do this. You must take care of yourself now."

"In any case, the way to my room goes past the Ravenclaw Tower. I will check upon the kids on my way there," he said and headed for the west wing of the castle, his step unsteady, but determined.

McGonagall watched him for a moment, a frown on her face, then turned to the others. "We're all going to the hospital wing. Remus, would you please carry Neville, and I'll take care of Bill."

"Sure, Minerva," he said and magically picked up Neville. McGonagall did the same with Bill, and the rest of them followed them to the hospital wing.

-----

Madam Pomfrey was shocked to hear what happened. She quickly positioned Neville on a bed and gave him a Healing Potion that made him fall into a deep sleep. Then, she started taking care of Bill's wounds. She didn't even think of telling anyone to leave; she let them all stay around and offer silent support to their friend and each other.

McGonagall, after making sure that the wounded were being treated properly, sent Ginny outside to find Harry and went to Madam Pomfrey's office to have some privacy. She conjured her Patronus - Gryffindor's lion, which, in a very rare Patronus fashion, was glowing in golden instead of silver colours - and instructed it to contact Molly and Arthur and give them the sad news of their eldest son's injury. It had just vanished when the door barged open and Hagrid came in, his face hidden behind a large, spotted handkerchief.

"Professor McGonagall..." he sobbed. "Sorry ter bother yeh. Was lookin' for Poppy." A sniff escaped him. "Thought she could take care o' him."

"Of whom?"

"P... Professor Dumbledore," Hagrid explained, drowning another sob.

"He's here?" she asked, surprised. "Is he all right?"

This question made Hagrid burst into loud wailing.

"Hagrid, calm down," she said, alarmed, and approached him. "What happened?"

Hagrid blew his nose into his handkerchief and turned to look at McGonagall, his eyes red. "He... he's dead."

"I beg your pardon?" McGonagall exclaimed, certain she had heard wrong.

"He's dead, I saw him, he fell down the Astronomy Tower."

She clapped her mouth with both hands. "Merlin's beard..." she mumbled, her whole body shivering.

"Some kids've gathered 'round, there's the Dark Mark above him... Harry said he saw him fall... And he said summat abou' Snape being involved..."

McGonagall drew in a deep breath. "Well... if that's what happened..." she said slowly, trying to make herself believe it. Then she addressed Hagrid. "Poppy has more... urgent matters to take care of. I will need you to... move him. Take him to your hut, and... leave him there to rest. Also, I want Professor Sprout to get the kids back to their beds, and Professor Slughorn to inform the Ministry that the Death Eaters attacked us and that..." She suppressed a sob. "Oh, and please stop by Professor Flitwick's room and make sure he is taking some rest."

"All righ', Professor," he said.

"Come find me in the hospital wing when you're done."

He nodded and exited the office. McGonagall collapsed in a chair, pondering the news Hagrid had just brought.

The shock was cutting through her fiercely as a knife. How could Dumbledore be dead? He was their leader, their inspiration... She knew that he was growing old, that he wasn't immortal, yet somehow she had never come to fully realise that one day he'd leave this world... She suspected that very few of those who knew him had even tried to imagine what a world without him would be like.

Her heart was pounding. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. Her heartbeat started slowing down and tears welled in her eyes. She produced a handkerchief and wiped them; now was not the time to get emotional.

Bracing herself, she headed to the hospital wing. On her way there, she could hear a song coming from a distance. When she entered the room, where a window was open, she recognised it; it was Fawkes, mourning Dumbledore. Everyone in the room was listening intently, letting the song's soothing effect sink in.

She sighed inaudibly and spoke, mentally cursing herself for having to bring them all back to this cruel reality. "Molly and Arthur are on their way." She turned to Harry, who was rubbing his eyes. "Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid you were with Professor Dumbledore when he - when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some -"

"Snape killed Dumbledore," Harry said.

McGonagall stared at the boy, her mind gone blank. Her legs felt weak as realisation started sinking in, and she thankfully took the chair Madam Pomfrey conjured for her. "Snape," she repeated, her thoughts coming out in a broken trail. "We all wondered... but he trusted... always... Snape... I can't believe it..."

Everyone looked gobsmacked. The news of the treason had fallen on their heads like a pile of bricks. For minutes afterwards, they all discussed him and the events of not so long ago, then they fell silent, still processing the aftermath of this night.

They had started drifting off, listening to Fawkes's lament, when the sound of the doors bursting open caused them all to jump. Molly, Arthur and Fleur entered the room.

McGonagall rushed to their sides. "Molly - Arthur - I am so sorry -"

"Bill," Molly whispered, oblivious to everyone's presence as she ran to her son. "Oh, Bill!"

Remus and Tonks got up hastily and retreated, to allow Molly and Arthur to get nearer to the bed. Molly bent over her son and pressed her lips to his bloody forehead.

Arthur stayed near McGonagall. "You said Greyback attacked him?" he asked her, his eyes fixed on his son. "But he hadn't transformed? So what does that mean? What will happen to Bill?"

"We don't yet know," said Professor McGonagall, looking helplessly at Remus.

"There will probably be some contamination, Arthur," he said. "It is an odd case, possibly unique... We don't know what his behaviour might be like when he awakens..."

"And Dumbledore..." Arthur said, his mind back to something he heard a crowd of students talk about on his way to the hospital wing. "Minerva, is it true... Is he really...?"

She nodded.

"Dumbledore gone," he whispered. His eyes fell on his wife; she was dapping on Bill's wounds with a green, nasty-smelling ointment, crying as she did so.

"Of course," she sobbed, "it doesn't matter how he looks... It's not r-really important... but he was a very handsome little b-boy... always very handsome... and he was g-going to be married!"

"And what do you mean by zat?" Fleur demanded. "What do you mean, 'he was going to be married'?"

Molly looked up, looking startled. "Well - only that -"

"You theenk Bill will not wish to marry me anymore? You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?"

"No, that's not what I -"

"Because 'e will! It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"

Tonks glared at Remus, but he didn't notice; like everyone else, he was watching the argument between Molly and Fleur. Her features hardened as she took a step back and leaned with her back against the wall, her arms crossed above her chest.

"Well, yes, I'm sure," Molly was now saying, "but I thought perhaps - given how - how he -"

"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you hoped?" Fleur said, her nostrils flaring. "What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk! All these scars show is zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" she added fiercely, pushing Molly aside and snatching the ointment from her.

A long pause followed. Remus stole a glance at Tonks. Her lips were pursed and she was staring intently at Fleur.

Finally, Molly broke the silence. "Our Great-Auntie Muriel has a very beautiful tiara - goblin-made - which I am sure I could persuade her to lend you for the wedding," she said to Fleur. "She is very fond of Bill, you know, and it would look lovely with your hair."

"Thank you," Fleur said stiffly. "I am sure zat will be lovely."

And then, the two women fell on each other's arms, crying.

That was too much for Tonks to take. "You see!" she said, glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," he replied, barely moving his lips, feeling tense as suddenly everyone turned to look at him. He approached her in a vain attempt to prevent the others from following their conversation. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" She seized the front of his robes and shook them. "I've told you a million times..."

"And I've told you a million times," he said, refusing to meet her eyes and staring at the floor instead, "that I am too old for you, too poor... too dangerous..."

"I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus," Molly said sternly.

He turned around to face her. "I am not being ridiculous," he said steadily. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."

"But she wants you," Arthur said with a small smile. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so."

He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.

Remus felt cornered. "This is... not the moment to discuss it," he said, avoiding everybody's eyes as he looked around distractedly. "Dumbledore is dead..."

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world," McGonagall said curtly, just as the hospital doors opened again and Hagrid walked in, in an even worse state than she had seen him a while ago.

"I've... I've done it, Professor," he choked. "M-moved him. Professor Sprout's got the kids back in bed. Professor Flitwick's lyin' down, but he says he'll be all righ' in a jiffy, an' Professor Slughorn says the Ministry's bin informed."

"Thank you, Hagrid," she said, standing up at once and turning to look at the group around Bill's bed. "I shall have to see the Ministry when they get here. Hagrid, please tell the Heads of Houses - Slughorn can represent Slytherin - that I want to see them in my office forthwith. I would like you to join us too." As Hagrid nodded, turned, and shuffled out of the room again, she looked down at Harry. "Before I meet them I would like a quick word with you, Harry. If you'll come with me..."

Harry stood up, murmured "See you in a bit" to Ron, Hermione and Ginny and followed McGonagall back down the ward. When the door closed behind her, all heads were turned to Remus and Tonks again.

Tonks's nose had turned red and she was sniffing. Remus was looking at her. He was feeling terribly guilty for making her go through this, but didn't try offering any kind of comfort; he knew that this would make her explode.

An awkward silence stretched in the room. Fleur returned to treating Bill's wounds, Molly and Arthur looking over her shoulder.

"And what do you think is going to happen now that Dumbledore is dead?" Ron asked loudly. Hermione gave him an approving nod for his attempt to find a subject of discussion.

Remus conjured a chair, which he positioned near Bill's bed, and sat down. "It's the end of an era," he said grimly. "Dumbledore did so much for the wizarding world, so many of us relied on him about everything."

"And Voldemort..." Hermione mumbled. "Dumbledore was the only one he feared. Now that he's gone there's nothing to stop him."

"There's the Order of the Phoenix," Arthur reminded her.

"But we don't have a leader anymore," Molly pointed out.

"We'll pick one."

"Nobody will be the leader Dumbledore was," Remus said.

Molly nodded sadly.

"And what about the school?" Ginny asked.

"Minerva McGonagall will be the Headmistress, at least temporarily," Arthur said.

"If the school continues to operate," Remus added. "After tonight's attack, I won't be surprised to see it close down."

The kids gasped.

"That will be a disaster," Tonks sighed, closing her eyes.

"What happened with the Death Eaters anyway?" Luna asked. "Did they leave?"

"They'd have to leave on foot, the way to the Room of Requirement was blocked," Ron reminded her.

Tonks looked up, her eyes now open wide. "You just reminded me... Proudfoot and Dawlish were on duty tonight, you think they might have arrested them? I'd better go check," she said, striding out the room without waiting for a response.

-----

Tonks flew an entire hour around the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade searching for the two Aurors, but could not find a single trace of them. Exhausted and very annoyed, she headed for her flat, when something occurred to her. She changed direction in mid-air and headed towards Dawlish's flat, which was located in the west side of the village.

She landed on his balcony and insistently tapped on the shutting. A minute later, he appeared, dressed in a saumon nightgown, rubbing his eyes.

"Nymphadora, what are you -"

"You're sleeping!" she exclaimed. "Death Eaters attack Hogwarts, and you're sleeping!"

He squinted his eyes, confused. "Wait... what?"

"Weren't you supposed to be on duty? Where's Proudfoot?"

Dawlish shot her a reproachful look. "All Aurors were urgently called to London early in the evening, there had been a Death Eater attack in the outskirts. Robards was very displeased for being unable to find you."

"He was unable to find me because I was at Hogwarts fighting Death Eaters! Like you should have been! Do you know that Dumbledore is dead?"

Dawlish's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Yes!" She exhaled heavily. "Damn it, it must have been on purpose... an attack in London to occupy the Aurors while Hogwarts would be under attack. Why didn't you return to guarding Hogwarts after you came back?"

"Because I was tired! And, in fact, I'm still tired, so if you'll excuse me..."

He stepped in the room and shut the shutters and the glass doors. Tonks gritted her teeth in anger, then mounted her broomstick and headed to her flat.

-----

Early in the following morning, she woke up, hastily took a shower, got dressed and took the Floo to the Ministry - after that day in March, she had forced herself to learn how to use it, and was quite familiar with it now. The rustle and bustle she was greeted with upon her arrival was far louder than usual; with two Death Eater attacks having taken place the previous night, it was to be expected.

She took the lift to Level Two and headed straight to the office of Gawain Robards, who had succeeded Rufus Scrimgeour as Head of the Auror office. She found his door open and him immersed in a pile of paperwork.

"Mr Robards," she called from the doorframe.

He looked up. He was a tall man in his late forties, with long, dark blond hair and beard. "Tonks! Where were you last night?"

"I was at Hogwarts," she said in a fake, sweet tone, "seeing how my job is to protect the school."

"Oh." His face turned serious. "Of course, you were not on duty last night... but I must say, the attack at Hogwarts caught us completely off guard, so it is thankful you were there." He paused. "I haven't heard much about that, though, I am focused on the London attack... You must have been at Hogwarts since before the attack, haven't you? I was unable to find you at Hogsmeade."

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore was to leave the school and needed to have someone guard over it."

Robards did not appreciate this piece of information. "Sad news, the passing of Dumbledore... but you are working for the Ministry, and not for him."

"My shift was over at the time."

"Yet, you have to be available at all times, especially in times like this. I could put you on probation for what you did."

She didn't even flinch.

"I won't," he continued, "but it never hurts to be careful. Now, before you return to Hogsmeade..." He flipped through a few papers and picked out one, which he handed to Tonks. "In light of the Death Eater attack at Hogwarts, your schedule has been revised." She looked at the timetable; there were single-member shifts of six hours each, instead of the usual two-member, twelve-hours shifts. "We are not expecting more attacks, so single-member shifts will have to do. And might I remind you," he added sternly, "that unless you had somehow foreseen the schedule changes, by coming here you abandoned your shift."

"I am not a Seer," she said simply as she headed to the door. "Good morning."

-----

Once at the Atrium, she got ready to depart to Hogsmeade, when it occurred to her that, since she was in London, it would be a good idea to stop by the Headquarters to see how the Order was dealing with the loss of its leader. So, she Apparated one block away from number twelve, Grimmauld Place, in the back of a blind alley where no Muggles ever went. On her way to the building, she saw Mad-Eye Moody.

"Hi, Tonks," he greeted. "Having a rough day?"

"Yes," she muttered. The difficult battle and the emotion-ridden aftermath still bore their marks on her body and mind, and she hadn't had a decent night's sleep to help her get rid of them. "And you?"

"Need to save what I can," he growled. "Going to the Headquarters?"

"Yes."

"What joke did Remus tell us the night Fleur Delacour arrived at the Burrow?"

Typical Mad-Eye, she thought, always suspicious of everything. She hadn't seen him in a while, so she had almost forgotten he made this habit of questioning his companions in order to make sure they were not Death Eaters in disguise. Not that she blamed him, since she knew what he had been through in his life. But of all the things he could have asked her... How could he expect her to remember a joke that had been told all these months ago?

She racked her brains... and remembered.

"It was about Canadian Boggarts. And then you said you don't like jokes about Boggarts because they are by definition the scariest creatures imaginable and we need to be constantly vigilant, not making jokes about them."

"Good," he said and gestured to her to come closer. "The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix are located in number twelve, Grimmauld Place," he whispered in her ear.

She gave him another look of confusion. "I knew that."

"No, you didn't. I performed the Fidelius Charm all over again. I figured we'd be better off without that traitorous bastard knowing the secret."

Tonks's features hardened at the memory of Snape. "You did well."

"I have to go to the Ministry. Have a nice day."

"Bye, Mad-Eye."

Tonks continued her way to the building, tapped the door open with her wand and entered the house. She mentally cursed herself when the door closed a little too loudly. Thankfully, Mrs Black had not woken up. Remembering to skip the coffee table, she made her way to the kitchen and pushed the door open. Only Remus was there, reading a book and taking notes on a piece of parchment. The moment he heard the door creak, he looked up.

"Good morning," he said warmly.

"Good morning," she replied uneasily. After what had happened the previous night, she would much rather avoid facing him again.

"Come in," he said, noticing her shifting awkwardly. She entered the room and sat in the top of the table, one chair keeping them apart. He pushed the book, the parchment and the quill aside. "So, what brings you here?"

"I went to see Robards at the Ministry and thought I'd drop by. Did you hear about the attack in the outskirts?"

"Yes, Hestia just sent word, Mad-Eye went to see what he can dig up on it."

She nodded. "And what brings you here?"

His eyes avoided hers as he spoke. "I can't cope with seeing them right now."

Them. The werewolves. Fenrir Greyback would be gloating now. And it certainly wasn't like Remus to share his joy...

...Wait a minute... right now?

"You mean you're planning to go back?"

"I'm thinking about staying until Dumbledore's funeral, and then... yes, I'll go."

"But... it's very risky!"

He shrugged. "It's always been."

"Not that much!" she objected. "Last night you were fighting against Greyback! How are you going to go back like nothing's happened?"

"It's not -"

"He could kill you, Remus! Kill you!"

He ran his hand through his hair in obvious discomfort. "Tonks, calm down, please. I'll be fine."

"How can I calm down?" she yelled and rose. "You want to go get yourself killed, and you're telling me to calm down?" She took a deep breath and slumped back down to her seat. "Damn it, Remus... if something happened to you..." She rested her elbows on the table and hid her face in her palms.

Remus tentatively made to take her hand, but she was just out of his reach. He withdrew his hand. "Stop worrying over me," he said softly.

Her voice came out full of pain and bitterness, while her face remained buried in her hands. "I can't help it."

"You never tried to."

She neither confirmed nor denied that, but just let out a long sigh.

Remus found himself at a loss. He didn't want to see her so upset, yet he couldn't think of anything that would make her feel better. Except promising her he wouldn't go back to the werewolves, but that was out of the question. He was needed there, and that was more important than whatever risk he might put himself into. Besides, he didn't really believe it was such a big risk anyway.

"Just try to be reasonable, Tonks..." he started.

The top of Tonks's head emerged from her palms, and he could see her furious gaze directed straight at him. "If you dare say this word once again..." she warned.

His gaze shot upwards in despair. He knew she hated it, but what other choice did he have? How could he convince her that she was wasting her time worrying over him? Repeating the arguments he had used so many times before would surely drive her up the wall. But if those couldn't make her see what a mistake she was doing, what a misconception it was to think she could be in love with him... what could?

"You don't know," he said in a painful whisper, his eyes now fixed on the table. "All the things you say, you say because you don't know."

She moved over to the chair beside him. Her hand reached up to his chin, and she forced him to meet her gaze. "What is it that I don't know?"

He turned his head away before replying, "You can't love someone who can ruin you just by being who he is."

She shook her head, incredulous at his persistence. "Remus, look at me."

He braced himself and slowly turned around.

"Can't I?"

"How can you?" he asked in frustration. "How can you accept the thought of... of wasting your life with someone like me?"

A small smile crept upon her face, as her hand reached up to trace his jaw line. "Remus... has no one told you that love is blind?"

Her gesture soothed him, and the faint traces of a smile appeared on his face. "Yeah, I think I've heard that somewhere."

"Good."

She leaned closer and kissed him softly. Her lips lingered onto his for a moment before he deepened the kiss, savouring the taste his heart had been yearning for so long.

When they pulled apart, he took a moment to delight in watching her face. Her dark eyes were twinkling, and her smile... Merlin, how he had missed her smile.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," he said, gently caressing her cheek. "I want you to be safe and happy."

"Then you should personally take care of it."

He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

"I wish things were easier," he mumbled.

"We can find a way," she said, absently fidgeting with a loose thread hanging from his robe.

"And the werewolves?"

She pulled back and met his eyes. "One thing at a time. We'll worry about them later."

His lips curled to a half-smile. He reached out to brush a lock of hair away from her face, but she surprised him by twirling it around her finger and bringing it close to her eyes for inspection.

"I'm getting sick of this hair," she said thoughtfully. "Look how mousy it's become."

"Why don't you change it back, then?"

She stifled the childish reply of 'It's all your fault!' behind a mischievous smile. "I haven't been all that... magically alert, lately." She concentrated hard for a few moments, then opened her eyes again. "Still the same," she said, frowning at the lock still twirled around her finger.

"The roots are pink," Remus pointed out.

"Ah. I guess it's coming back, then."

"Why had it stopped working?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, her expression mocking. "Do yourself a favour and don't ask. Because the answer only goes to show how much of an idiot you are."

He understood. "I'm sorry," he said earnestly. "I hadn't realised it had affected you so much."

"It's not like I was hiding it."

He cringed. "I guess... I didn't want to let myself believe it."

She chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "But you believe it now."

"I do."

"Better late than never."

She kissed him, and he allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of her, as all worries vanished from his mind for a while.

For all he cared, everything was perfect.

-The End-