The Journey of the Phoenix

-Chapter 9: Know your ally-

Snape paced nervously up and down his study. He had been incapable of concentrating on anything but the impending doom - because, whatever Dumbledore said to the contrary, his death would be a real disaster. The end of an era. The loss of a great wizard and a kind spirit many had looked up to, and whose presence had been a blessing for the wizarding world.

Apart from that, though, Snape had more reasons, selfish ones, but reasons all the same, to feel so sorry about this loss. Dumbledore had been his refuge when his world had come crashing down, he had honoured him with his trust and had given him a second chance - and, what was more, convinced others to give him a second chance too. His death would signal Snape's return to an environment he hated, where he would have to pretend to be someone he loathed and act as the most trusted servant of a master he wished to see dead, his only ally the son of a man who was nothing but a memory anymore, yet continued to torture him and haunt his mind. That debt... that horrible debt... Had Snape known what would follow, had he known his life was going to be eternally loaded with guilt, he would have gone back and thrown himself to the werewolf.

No, that was a lie. He wouldn't have. His teenage self valued his life too much. But, growing up, he had come to comprehend the real meaning of what Dumbledore always used to say: 'There are fates worse than death.'

Yes, there were indeed. His own fate was a perfect example of that. Yet, there was always hope for salvation. Dumbledore had taught him that, too. Dumbledore had taught him so much - it was unbearable to think that, very soon, he wouldn't be around anymore...

"Death Eaters in the castle! Death Eaters in the castle!"

Professor Flitwick's screams interrupted his musings. Before he could register what had happened, the tiny man barged in the room. "Severus!" he shrieked. "There are Death Eaters in the castle! You have to come back with me, help me fight them!"

Of all days! Snape thought furiously. Of all days, Draco Malfoy had chosen to attack the exact day when Dumbledore was unable to defend the castle. It could be nothing but a coincidence, albeit a very unnerving one.

Time to put the mask on, he reminded himself.

As Flitwick turned to hurry outside the room, Snape quickly drew his wand and cast a nonverbal Stunning Spell. The tiny man fell on the floor and Snape rushed outside, where he came face to face with Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood.

"You two!" he exclaimed, letting his anxiety show - he didn't care what the girls were doing there, he needed to get them out of harm's way, while at the same time making his act more convincing. "Professor Flitwick collapsed, he's in my office, go take care of him - and do not get out of that room! There are Death Eaters in the castle... I'll go help fighting them."

They obeyed. Left alone in the corridor, he looked around helplessly - where was he supposed to go? - and spotted a red trail down on the floor. Flitwick had been bleeding. He followed the trail up several flights of stairs and reached the top corridor. A raging battle was going on in there - Order members and some students versus a number of Death Eaters.

Nobody seemed to notice him. He saw Neville Longbottom charge towards the staircase leading to the Astronomy Tower and being thrown away.

"They've blocked the stairs!" That was Nymphadora Tonks. "Reducto! REDUCTO!" Her jinxes, though, bounced off an invisible barrier. As she was focused on destroying the barrier, a Death Eater found the chance to cast a jinx towards her, but Remus Lupin blocked it mid-way with a Deflective Charm.

Snape now knew that the key was to reach the Astronomy Tower. Having a pretty good idea of how the Death Eaters had blocked the staircase, he rushed towards it. His guess was right; he felt a momentary stinging in his left wrist, where the Dark Mark was carved, but he wasn't pushed back.

He reached the top of the staircase and shoved the ramparts open. There were three Death Eaters, four with Draco Malfoy, and Dumbledore, slumped against the wall... where was Potter? He was supposed to be accompanying the Headmaster - but of course, Snape then realised, he was under his Invisibility Cloak, probably waiting for the right moment to attack.

Amycus, one of the Death Eaters, addressed him. "We've got a problem, Snape, the boy doesn't seem able..."

"Severus..." a soft voice called. It was Dumbledore.

Snape walked forwards, shoving Malfoy out of the way. The eyes of the two men met. Interpreting correctly Dumbledore's pleading expression, Snape performed Legilimency. Dumbledore was showing him a memory...

'You agreed to do it, and that is all there is to it.'

I agreed to do it, he repeated to himself firmly. He gathered all the hatred he could find in himself, the better to perform a deadly curse. But Dumbledore was now showing him another memory...

'I can help you, Draco.'

'No, you can't. Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice.'

'Come over to the right side, Draco, and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Your father is safe at the moment in Azkaban... when the time comes we can protect him too... come over to the right side, Draco... you are not a killer...'

Snape understood.

"Severus... please..." Dumbledore said. It had only been moments that they had been communicating in silence - the memories didn't take place in real time - but even a few moments' hesitation could prove to be disastrous.

Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Avada Kedavra!"

No zooming sound; the curse had failed to be lethal. His inner wish to keep Dumbledore alive had prevailed. Yet, it came out, green like the Dark Mark hovering above, and hit Dumbledore in the chest... forcefully enough to throw him down the Tower.

He wouldn't survive the fall.

"Out of here, quickly," he said to the Death Eaters, his mind set to the plan. Dumbledore's death must not go in vain. He seized Draco by the scruff of the neck and forced him through the door ahead of the rest; the other three Death Eaters followed.

As they headed down the staircase, Snape heard Potter's voice calling "Petrificus Totalus!" and being followed by the loud thump of a stunned body falling. He didn't look back, but continued to run, all the while keeping firm grip on Draco.

They reached the corridor; half the ceiling had collapsed and a cloud of dust was in the air. Rushing his and Draco's way through the Order members, he called to the Death Eaters "It's over, time to go!" They had caused enough havoc already; the less they stayed, the better.

Draco remained silent during their way towards the grounds. Thankfully. Snape's mind was racing with another thought: how to approach him, once they were somewhere safe. Dumbledore wanted him by the Order's side. The boy obviously had some morality left, but who knows what corrosion his soul had suffered, after all these years of being under evil's influence?

Once out of the castle, he sprinted towards the gates. As he passed Hagrid's hut, the big man came out and attacked a Death Eater that had been following them. He ignored them and continued to run, but then a jet of red light passed right beside his head. "Run, Draco!" he shouted and turned around. Sure enough, there was Potter, twenty yards away.

"Cruc-"

Before the boy could complete his curse, Snape knocked him off with a spell of his own. How foolishly innocent, thinking that he could perform an Unforgivable Curse.

He watched him stumble back on his feet. Behind the boy, a Death Eater was setting fire on Hagrid's hut. Snape clenched his fists in unspoken hatred towards that beast that meant to destroy Hogwarts.

"Cruc-"

Acting quickly, Snape repelled the curse again. This time, a sneer escaped his lips. "No Unforgivables from you, Potter!" he shouted. "You haven't got the nerve or the ability -"

"Incarc-"

This was getting easier by the minute. How long would it take Potter to understand?

"Fight back!" he heard him scream. "Fight back, you cowardly -"

A memory from a day dating years ago flashed in his mind. He quickly blocked it away.

"Coward, did you call me, Potter? Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"Stupe-"

You'd think he would have taken the hint by now, Snape thought, easily deflecting this curse too. "Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!" he sneered and diverted his gaze to the Death Eater who was fighting with Hagrid. "Now come!" he shouted at him. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up -"

"Impedi-"

In the split second Snape had been distracted, Amycus had approached Harry and performed the Cruciatus Curse on him.

"No!" Snape bellowed at him, lifting the curse from the boy. "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord - we are to leave him! Go! Go!"

He watched Amycus, his sister and the other Death Eater head outside and turned his attention to Harry. With hard effort, the boy managed to get back on his feet.

"Sectum-"

Not this one! Snape thought furiously as he repelled it. The times when he would allow his spells to be used against him were long gone.

Harry tried a nonverbal approach, but the spell he chose Snape could recognise all too well, and any pleasure the man had ever felt about seeing his spells being put into use vanished in an instant as a memory of being hung upside down, many years ago, flashed momentarily in his mind.

"No, Potter!" he screamed, boiling with rage. Unable to control himself any longer, Snape produced such a powerful Shield Charm that Harry flew backwards and landed with a loud bang. Before he knew what he was doing, Snape strode towards him, towards the boy that was growing up to torment him just like his father had.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?" he spat, his voice dripping with hatred. "It was I who invented them - I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so... no."

Harry dove for his wand; Snape shot a hex at it and it flew away from the boy's reach.

"Kill me then," Harry panted boldly. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward -"

For a fraction of a second, Snape found himself in another place and time.

"No, no, Sirius, that's enough," James Potter was saying, a sickening glint in his eyes. "Let's give him a moment to compose himself."

Snape staggered on his feet - they were barely supporting him. His head was spinning and his skin was red and felt terribly itchy. His fingers were clumsily holding the wand - he felt like he was going to drop it any second now.

"So, Snivelly?" the black haired, hazel eyed boy asked, casually tapping his elbow with his wand. The tentacles that had sprung from there withered and disappeared. "Got another curse for me?"

Snape glared at the four boys standing in front of him and tried to raise his hand. His wrist merely quivered and he stopped trying, focusing instead on keeping firm grip on his wand.

"I'll make it easy for you." James Potter took a step closer and threw away his wand - Sirius Black caught it in mid-air. "Come on, nothing for me?"

Snape gritted his teeth and looked at the boy in front of him with an expression of utmost loathing - but his hand felt ready to tear in pieces at the slightest movement.

"Coward," the boy spat.

"DON'T CALL ME A COWARD!" Snape screamed, flinging nonverbally a curse towards Harry.

The black haired, green eyed boy fell back on the ground. Snape's breathing evened and his expression seemed to relax at the sight of the blood oozing from the boy's cheek. The wound was not bad, but the way he had fallen was guaranteed to give him an ugly headache.

I owed you that, too, James Potter.

A flapping sound was heard from a distance and seemed to be approaching. Startled, Snape looked around and saw a huge, grey figure flying towards him. A hippogriff.

The animal let out a screech. Snape turned on his heel and ran towards the gates. The hippogriff pursued him until he exited the Hogwarts grounds and Disapparated.

He Apparated not far away from the school, but out of everyone's sight. He needed to find Draco. The boy had obviously Disapparated after exiting the grounds, but where had he gone?

Deciding that his best choice was the Malfoy Mansion, he Apparated outside it. Through the bars of the imposing gates he saw Draco sitting on the marble stairs leading to the front door.

"Draco!"

The boy looked up and, with a weary gesture of his wrist, cast a spell to open the gates. Snape hurried near him and sat by his side.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Draco panted. "I'll be fine."

"Is your mother here?"

The boy did not reply. Snape noticed anger lying behind his tired expression.

"Draco, what's wrong?"

"You're asking what's wrong!" Draco exploded. "You killed him!"

Snape stared, dumbfounded. Could Draco be regretting Dumbledore's death...?

"I had him there, why didn't you let me do it?" the boy continued. "The Dark Lord will have my and my mother's head for this!"

Snape understood. "Where can we talk?" he asked in a low, stern voice.

"Nowhere," the boy spat.

"Where can we talk?" Snape repeated, more slowly and with a hint of menace in his voice.

Fuming, Draco rose and, hurling the door to the mansion open, led Snape inside the roomy and luxurious sitting room. Narcissa Malfoy, dressed in a simple, light blue robe, her blond hair in a bun, was coming down the stairs.

"Draco..."

"Go away!" the boy ordered. "Leave us alone."

"But -"

"I said go away!"

Her pale face whitened even more, but she turned on her heel and returned to her room.

"So?" Draco sneered at Snape.

Before answering, Snape waved his wand around. White sparks erupted and spread around the room, shutting all windows and doors and then disappearing inside the walls to soundproof them. "Just for good measure," he added as he sat on one of the velvet, gold-trimmed sofas.

Draco took a seat on another sofa, keeping eye contact. "So?" he repeated.

Snape spoke slowly, deliberately. "What exactly is your problem?"

"My problem," Draco said, his features hard and threatening, "is that you put my family in danger, and you'd better think of a way to fix that. Or, you'll die."

Snape could not suppress a sneer. "I'll die?"

"Yes, for failing to protect me. Do not forget the Unbreakable Vow you made."

"I do not." Snape took a moment to prepare himself, then continued. "The only way to protect yourself and your mother from the Dark Lord's rage is to turn your back to him."

Draco rose from his seat, his expression one of sheer incredulity. "Are you out of your mind?"

"No, I am not," Snape said, unable to hide his amusement.

"What good will that do me?"

Snape rose from his seat too, his armed hand hidden inside his pocket. "If you do it, you and your family will have a chance to survive, without having to bow before the Dark Lord anymore."

"And who says we don't want to bow before the Dark Lord?"

"I know you don't," he said, circling around the coffee table and nearing Draco. "You don't want to follow anyone's orders. You want to be responsible for your actions, you don't want the Dark Lord or anyone else bossing you around! And -" he approached Draco even more and hissed inside his ear "- you secretly want him dead for threatening to kill you and your family."

Draco took a step away, alarmed. "I don't!" he objected.

"You mean you are willing to stay by someone's side, just because they're threatening to kill you if you don't?"

"He is powerful," Draco dared, trying to convince himself rather than Snape. "He can do anything, being by him will make me invincible!"

"It will merely make you dependent to his word, an obedient servant whose only choices are to obey his master, or die. Is that what you want your life to be like?"

Draco pondered this for a moment. "What options do you offer?" he then asked.

"Safety. Tranquillity. And, once the Dark Lord is defeated, a life in a balanced and peaceful society."

"Among Mudbloods?" Draco scorned.

"Among people who share your powers."

Draco eyed Snape suspiciously. "What happened to you?" he asked.

Snape only smirked.

"Is this some kind of testing my loyalty to the Dark Lord?"

"The only reason why I care about where your loyalty lies is so that I can take the appropriate measures," he assured him, the smirk still on his lips. He clutched his wand harder. If Draco proved to be so loyal to the Dark Lord, a good Oblivion Spell would be on its way.

Draco's stared at the pale-faced man, his expression revealing perplexity and a bit of fear. "Whose side are you on?" he breathed.

"The only thing that matters now is whose side you are on," Snape said. "Will you support a man who will not hesitate to kill you, should he decide he is not satisfied with your work? A man who would blackmail you into committing terrible crimes in exchange for your parents' lives?"

Draco gulped. "What will you do, if I say I won't?"

"I shall ask you whether you trust me enough to put your and your mother's life in my hands."

Draco looked around helplessly for a moment, then turned to Snape. "Why are you asking me to make this choice? Why aren't you asking my mother instead?"

"Because I already know her choice. She values you more than the Dark Lord."

Draco remained silent for a long minute.

"So?" Snape prompted.

It's not like it can get any worse, Draco thought in resignation. "OK. We're with you."

"Good," Snape said and cast a spell that undid the locked and soundproof status of the room. Moments later, Narcissa came rushing down the stairs.

"Severus, Draco... what is this all about?"

"Your son has just decided to renounce the Malfoy family's loyalty to the Dark Lord," Snape informed her.

Her gaze flew from Snape to Draco. She looked positively bewildered.

"It's better this way, Narcissa," Snape said softly. "Draco did not kill Dumbledore; the Dark Lord would have you all killed for this failure."

"But I would have killed him if you had stayed out of this!" Draco protested. "You had it all planned, hadn't you! You cornered me, so that my only choice would be to turn to you for protection!"

"Severus -"

"Precisely," Snape said to Draco and the usual smirk formed on his lips again. "But you will come to see that it was for your own good."

"Severus, what's going on here?" Narcissa demanded.

"Tell me, Narcissa, is your desire for power stronger than your love for your son and your husband?"

Narcissa did not reply immediately, but when she did, her voice came out firm. "No."

Snape's lips curled in a small smile. "I knew you would say that." He then approached her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Your heart is purer than your blood, Narcissa. Leave the Dark Lord's side. Draco will."

"If we do..."

"I will protect you both."

Narcissa bit her lip, processing the implications of all this for a moment, and surprised even herself by deciding that this didn't look like a bad idea after all. Truth was, her loyalty to the Dark Lord had been dwindling since the moment she was informed of the mission he had entrusted Draco with. She wanted her son safe, and that was more important than anything to her. Even if it meant she should give up all the principles and beliefs she had followed since she was a little girl.

"And what about Lucius?" she only asked.

"I am sure he will be glad to join you if he gets out of Azkaban. You were right that day, Narcissa; the Dark Lord had indeed chosen Draco in order to punish Lucius. And I am sure that Lucius is not so stupid as to return to such a master."

"We are stalling," Draco said impatiently.

"All right." Snape took a few steps away from the Malfoys and drew out his wand. "I will perform the Fidelius Charm on the two of you and the house. As long as you stay in the building or the garden, you are invisible to everyone, except for me and anyone else I might tell the secret. Which means nobody," he added, at Draco's sceptical look. "Even if someone enters the house, they will not be able to see you, touch you, hear the noises you make, see footsteps you leave, or any other traces that suggest you are here. I will be visiting you frequently to make sure everything is going well." He took a look around. "Is there anybody else in here?"

"No," Narcissa said.

"All right."

He took a minute to concentrate and, when he felt ready, started to wave his wand in big circles while chanting the first incantation of the charm in his head. Silver and golden sparkles erupted from the tip of his wand and exploded towards all directions.

Snape held his wand up, now murmuring another incantation in a low voice. Colourful beams from all around the house reached its tip, from where they redirected themselves to Narcissa and Draco. For some seconds mother and son were doused in light, until the beams disappeared.

Now he extended his hand and held his wand horizontally, murmuring the last incantation the charm required. Narcissa and Draco started to glow. After a while, the glowing light turned to sparkles that flew to Snape and his body absorbed them. For a split second, he shone in shades of silver and gold, his hand slightly trembling. Then, the light disappeared.

Snape finished the incantation and lowered his hand, feeling drained by the hard mental effort this spell required.

"Done," he said. "You are safe now. Remember, do not leave this place, or the spell will be lifted."

Narcissa reached out to embrace Draco. He did not object to it. Once in each other's arms, tears welled up in their eyes.

Trying to hold them back, Narcissa turned to Snape. "Thank you."

Snape only nodded at her as he made to leave the mansion.

-End of chapter 9-