Weasleys' Challenge

Fred and George Weasley sat in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. Fred was chewing gum and blowing bubbles, and George was catching a ball that he had been repeatedly throwing against a wall. Rain battered against the window, and the few other boys in the dormitory had either fallen asleep out of boredom or were reading comic books.

"I'm bored," said Fred, popping another bubble. "This place is like a mausoleum."

"Well, I'm not sure there's anything we can do about it." George bounced his ball against the ceiling. "It's a weekend, it's too bloody miserable outside to go play Quidditch... there's just nothing to do."

"I might be getting a glimmer of an idea..." Fred sat up and grinned.

George liked it when his brother got ideas. That always meant a great heaping serving of embarrassment to go around to everyone but him and his twin brother. "And? Spit it out."

"I might just have some ideas for more Weasley's Wizard Wheezes." Fred walked over to George and clapped him on the shoulder. "Why don't we go visit Dobby in the kitchens?"

After conjuring up sleeping doubles of themselves in their beds, the two boys walked down to the kitchens below the Great Hall. Filch stopped them once just to make sure they weren't up to any mischief, and Snape gave them a nasty look while passing by.

Dobby saw them enter the kitchens and waddled over as quickly as his little legs could carry him. "Dobby is so happy to see Fred and George! What can Dobby do for you today? Consider Dobby at your service."

George grinned mischievously at Fred. "Well, Dobby, we just came to visit our favorite house-elf and see what you all were cooking up for dinner."

Dobby led them over to a large, bubbling pot. "Dobby and the other house-elves thought that since it was such a nasty, nasty day outside, the students would like a great big bowl of soup. Would Fred and George like to taste it?" He stood on his toes and dipped a large wooden spoon into the pot, and offered it to the boys.

Fred smiled. "Dobby, I would love to." He slurped a little of the soup down and closed his eyes. "Mmm. Better than Mum's, I say. But don't tell her that."

While Fred was talking to Dobby, George was muttering something under his breath and pointing the wand that he had hidden behind his back towards the other end of the room. Suddenly, a loaf of bread on a large table caught fire. Dobby's eyes widened, and he hurried over to the bread and smacked it with a tea towel repeatedly in an attempt to extinguish it. Fred quickly slipped a small vial out of his pocket, uncorked it, and poured the contents into the kettle.

The boys waited with their hands in their pockets for Dobby to put the fire out. "Well, Dobby, we best be going," said Fred. "Don't want to ruin our dinner." They exited the kitchens with smug smiles on their faces.

While walking back towards the dormitory, Professor Snape stopped them. "Exactly what were you two doing in the kitchens?"

"We were visiting our friend, Dobby," said George, attempting to make his expression as angelic as possible.

"I sincerely doubt that," said Snape, sneering.

Fred feigned shock. "Professor Snape, we are loyal, badge-wearing members of S.P.E.W. We were simply looking out for poor Dobby's welfare."

Snape pointed a finger at them. "If I find anything wrong down there, I am going to go straight to Dumbledore with your names." He walked off in a huff, sure that the twins were up to something.

"Hey Fred, I think I need to go drop the kids off at the pool." George ducked into a corridor bathroom.

Fred followed. "You think you can come up with a less disgusting euphemism?"

George grinned. "Accio marker." A large black marker appeared in his hand, and he got to work writing on the bathroom wall.

Fred surveyed George's handiwork, and began chortling. "'Blonde bombshell seeks kinky sex. Ask for Malfoy in the Slytherin dorm. Males only, please.' I love it!"

Turning toward his brother, George gave an evil grin. "Top that."

"Challenging me, are we? I'm going to bury you."

"I'd like to see you try."

Fred gave his brother an evil grin. "Watch and learn, little boy." He walked hurriedly out to the Quidditch practice field, where the Hufflepuffs were practicing despite the driving rain. He took out his wand and pointed to a spot in the sky and said "Evanesco". He then hurried back into the Hogwarts hallway, George trailing right behind.

"So what did you do?"

Fred beamed. "I made the snitch invisible. Your turn."

George and Fred roamed the hallways until George found what he was looking for: a sixth year boy attempting to chat up a pretty young girl. He hid behind a pillar, raised his wand, and muttered an incantation. The boy, who appeared to be doing quite well with the girl, suddenly began farting uncontrollably. The girl wrinkled her nose and stomped away, completely disgusted.

"Your turn!" George said gleefully.

Fred also combed the corridors until he found what he had been looking for - a smiling, animated Harry Potter, having what looked like a good conversation with his friends in the Great Hall. Fred hid just beyond the group's line of sight and whipped his wand out.

"Hey, you all wanna hear a secret?" Harry asked, smiling.

The group eagerly nodded.

"Seamus wets the bed. And I used my Invisibility Cloak last week to spy on Hermione in the shower."

Seamus jumped up, redfaced. "I do NOT!"

Hermione just gave Harry a dangerous, stony stare.

Harry shook his head like he'd been stunned. "I didn't say that. I swear. It wasn't me."

Hermione just gathered her things and stomped off.

Harry turned and called after her, "Nice boobs, by the way!" A moment of silence. "That wasn't me, Hermione, I swear!"

Somewhere in the back of the Great Hall, Fred and George high-fived each other. "You're up next, George," said Fred.

George smiled in return. He pulled out his wand, cleared his throat, and tapped it with his wand. He then whispered an incantation and grinned at Fred. He opened his mouth and began to speak, but it sounded as if it was Professor McGonagall was speaking. "McGonagall's" voice boomed throughout every part of Hogwarts. "Excuse me, students? I have a few notices. Will whoever stole Professor Snape's pink knickers please return them at once? Also, I have been hearing several complaints about Draco Malfoy attempting to solicit kinky acts in bathrooms. This must stop. Oh, and one last thing. Severus Snape has given up the title of 'Professor' and requests that all students refer to him as 'Sally'. Thank you."

"I must admit, George, that was brilliant."

George made his voice return to normal. He smirked. "It was, wasn't it?"

Fred grinned. "I have one last idea." He dragged his brother down the hallways to the wall that hid the entrance to the Slytherin common room. Pulling out his wand, he raised it and drew large letters in the air. The wall above the entrance now read "Slytherin Cross-Dressing Party: TONIGHT ONLY" in huge, sparkling pink letters. George brought his wand out and added a postscript: "FREE firewhiskey, and don't forget to wear lots of leather".

Suddenly, Fred looked up. "George, it's dinnertime. Shall we go watch the results of all our hard work?"

"Absolutely."

As the two boys got closer to the Great Hall, they could hear plates breaking and shouting. Peeking in, they saw that a mass food fight had erupted. Not a single spot in the Hall was clean, save for the ceiling. Students were drenched in soup, and the professors were running around crazily trying to control the melee.

Fred looked at George and smiled. "Mischief managed."