Stuck

You didn't come and see me yesterday. Or the day before. Or for that matter, all week. I've sent you so many owls that Hedwig refuses to deliver anything anymore.

I hate you at the moment, very much so. I know you're not the nicest person to me, but this is a bit much. I think that's what drew me to you in the first place. You didn't care that I was the 'Boy Who Lived'. In fact, you hated it, didn't you? At first, I didn't understand. Why would you hate me?

You didn't even know me. Maybe it was because I refused your offer of friendship. What did you expect? You insulted the first friend I made, and thought I would let it slide, and become your friend. Of course, I was only eleven. Young and naive. Bullied most of my life by my own family, if you could call them that.

Then I came here, and discovered this world, a world I could call home. Made friends with Hermione and Ron, two of the most wonderful people I know. Threatened at every footstep, I always managed to save the day, except once. You know all about that though. While the wizarding world hailed my success, I wallowed in my misery over my failure to save another loved one. I came here to find that I did have a godfather, a great one, only to have him taken away from me.

Why does the world punish me? All I've done is help people, and it all really comes back to you. I never asked for fame, and everyone knows it, most of all, you.

You came to me in my darkest hour, in a way, you were broken too. You acted the way I would have it it had been my father in there. But it was yours. I tried not to feel sorry for you, but I couldn't help it. I never really had a nasty side. It's funny really. You always knew what I was feeling, even before we became....better acquainted. Remember third year, before I knew Sirius was my godfather? Remember what you said? You knew what I felt, you knew my pain. I guess that's what keeps you away now, you know too know how deep my pain is.

I just can't help wondering which loved one will be next. And as each one is taken, I will prepare myself for the task that I must complete. Once the prophecfy is fulfilled, the pain will go. I think sometimes that it might just be better if I die. I would be painless. But then the world would have to face Voldemort without me.

They said I was one of the only people who could defeat him. What will happen to the rest of the people if I kill myself, and no one could defeat him? I don't think I could kill myself anyway. I may be brave enough to be in Gryffindor, and to take on Voldemort, but I'm not brave enough to take my own life. Considering most people think that taking on Voldemort is a suicide mission in itself, maybe I do have enough guts, but I don't think I want to find out. You would probably kill me if I asked you nice enough anyway.

And in the end it's true, everything comes back to you. Every little thing I do, makes me think of you, and then realise and the fact that you're not here anymore. So, when you finally show up, I'm going to ask you, because I deserve to know.

"Do you love me, Draco?"