Nolite tes Bastardes Carborundorum

Nolite tes Bastardes Carborundorum

Part 2 of 3

~*~

I wish they would at least tell me when it was day or night, I've always been a nocturnal person but even then this constantly oppressive darkness starts to get on one's nerves. This is a temporary cell, they told me, one of the better ones. I shudder to think what cell would I be put in, permanently.

I hear someone unlocking the gate to the cell. I remove my hand from over my eyes and look at Kingsley Shacklebolt, I'm surprised the man can move at all. He was one of the brave ones, I had fun with him, and unfortunately he was rescued before I got around to dissecting his other leg. Spoil sports.

"Malfoy," he greets me hoarsely. I nod back, my tongue too heavy to form any words; I guess I might have bitten down on it during my earlier struggle with Potter.

Two more people follow behind him, I'm sure there's probably a mini-army of Dementors and what-not waiting outside for me, they don't want a repeat of last time, though I recall having a fully formed army of Death Eaters behind me, oh how the tables have turned.

I shut my eyes against the sudden brightness emanating from their wands.

"Holy shit," I heard someone swear. "Malfoy, what the fuck happened to your face?"

I look up at Shacklebolt and glare at him yet he doesn't move his wand away from my face, I raise my hand to knock aside his hand but find three wands pointed at my throat. I roll my eyes, honestly, if I wanted to escape do they think I would still be here?

I soundlessly rise on my feet and offer them my wrists, the cool metal is comforting as the shackles are enclosed around my wrists, though I'm not too excited about the part where they roughly pull my hands behind my back.

There's no need to push me, as I've been perfectly cooperative throughout this ordeal yet they think it appropriate to prod me with their wands in the most painful of places. Fucking Harry Potter. Yes, that's exactly why I'm here, because of fucking Harry Potter. My sense of humour has taken a serious downward plunge what with the absolutely horrendous puns.

I don't know what object they use as a portkey but suddenly I feel the pulling sensation and within moments I'm standing in a small bright room. Again I close my eyes, this time against the sunlight, I lost count of how many days it's been since I saw sunlight, unfortunately I wasn't given the time to savour the warmth as I was again pushed out of the door.

We silently walked through a series of corridors until I was brought in front of a door and who should be waiting there other than Professor Severus Snape and his lap dog Remus Lupin. Hmm...there was a reason why I disliked the Cruciatus Curse. It doesn't leave any lasting marks.

Lupin was trying to look anywhere but at me, I raised an eyebrow at that but he probably didn't see it. Instead I turned my attention to Professor Snape and gave him my best smile, I believe it's been a while since I last saw him.

"We'll take it from here, Shacklebolt," Snape said to the Auror. There was a long pause, I suspect they were silently communicating behind me. They must have come to an agreement as Snape grabbed my arm and steered me through the door.

The room was the smallest I've been in so far, but I was glad it had a window at least. Snape unlocked the iron cuffs around my wrists. I rubbed the sore spot and walked towards the window, feeling a calm settle over me. I didn't care what the Ministry was going to decide, I knew it already, but just being here and able to breathe in fresh air and savour the warmth on my face, this was enough.

"Mind telling me what happened to your face?"

"I don't really know, can't see my face now can I?" I replied without turning around. I felt a mirror being thrust in my hands and I silently raised it to look in it. Wow. Harry Potter had really outdone himself alright. I had a split eyebrow, my lips were swollen but I guess that was due to his violent kisses, the left side of my jaw was an ugly shade of purple and my hair was blood soaked. I ran a hand through my hair and flinched slightly when my fingers touched the wound. "But I have to admit, despite all this, I still look handsome."

"Draco, don't do this to yourself," Snape sighed. He turned me around and pushed me down in the only chair in the room. He leaned against the table in front of me. "Look, you have your whole life ahead of you, don't go down this road of no return."

I couldn't sit still, my arse was still sore, I had to get up. I leaned against the window again, looking down at the hustle and bustle of daily life. How unaffected these muggles were by our affairs, I wish I could too for once forget about who I am, forget what I have done...

"I already walked it, Professor."

"I'm not your professor anymore."

"I suppose not, I definitely don't deserve to be your student. Are you alright?" I turned to look at him and saw him flinch, probably by the memories my question provoked.

"I'll live. But why, why didn't you just finish it?"

"I'm going to go to hell for a lot of crimes, I guess I didn't want your name on the list too." I shrugged.

"It's because of Potter isn't it? He did this to you didn't he?"

I laughed, "If you know already, why ask?"

"Draco - "

"You know what happened to Alastor Moody?" I turned to look at him. He frowned before nodding. "That was me, I know everyone thinks that Voldemort held a private grudge against the bastard but Tom was too stoned to care about such trivial matters. Every person who died, everyone tortured, everything was done by these hands and you say I have my whole life ahead of me? I don't deserve to have a life, professor, I never did. My father made sure of that."

"Draco..."

"I can't be let out Professor," I stared at him seriously. "There was a price, there always is. The prophecy said only Potter could defeat Voldemort probably because he was the only one who could absorb Voldemort's power without it rushing into his head. When I...when he was dying, his power leaked into me and a lot of it. I can't trust myself, Severus, after all the things I've done just imagine what I can wreak now with Voldemort's power."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Snape stared at me in horror.

"It doesn't make a difference now, it's not like I have anything to live for." I said in bitterness. I just wish things could have turned out differently, all these thoughts, these memories are like painful stabs in my heart, where did it all go wrong? Why did it all go wrong, the things I've done, the sins I've committed would have made a normal person insane but they were the only things keeping my sanity intact.

"Draco, I need to tell you something?" I felt dread filling me at the Professor's tone, what could be so bad that he would privately call me at such an hour.

"What is it, sir?"

"Sit down." He was showing aberrant kindness, what could be so bad?

"Just tell me."

"Granger...she is expecting." He looked at me and I guess my confusion was apparent on my face. "She's pregnant."

"You already said," I frowned. "What does this have to do with me?"

"It's Potter's child."

And the ground was snatched away from beneath my feet just like that, these words repeated in my head, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.........this can't be true. Not Potter's...after everything, no he can't do this to me...

"Draco?"

I looked at him, he was staring at me with apprehension. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach with guilt and shame. This was the man whom I had tortured, despite everything he'd done for me, and now despite everything I did to him, he's here even now.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, what else could I offer but words? They say words are just another violence, how much more pain am I going to inflict on those who care for me. He walked towards me and took me in his arms, the only arms other than Potter's that I allowed to hold me in affection. I buried my face in his shoulder, I didn't want to cry, and there was no point to it.

And what if someone walked in? What would they think of Draco Malfoy, the name that terrified people more than Voldemort himself, what would they think if they see him crying like a child.

"It's my fault," I heard him say.

"No, it isn't. I made my choices and I'm making them now," I sniffed and moved away from him. "Besides, I can burn down this building and leave unscathed," I grinned "But for now let's see how the hearing goes."

The door opened and the Minister himself walked in, rubbing his hands together anxiously as he managed a weak smile at me. He looked at Snape, probably expecting him to leave but the dark haired man didn't budge. I could feel the tension between them as the Minister frowned and turned to face me.

"I hope your stay here hasn't been too uncomfortable?" he smiled again, rubbing his podgy hands together. I could have slapped him, it must have shown on my face as his smile faltered and he took a step back.

"Let's put you in Azkaban and see how you fare, shall we Fudge?" I glared. This man really annoyed me, his voice, his appearance, his presence, everything about him was treacherous. One of Voldemort's avid supporters, a political bastard right to the end, probably the only reason he was sucking up to me now.

"Now, now. I understand your anger but you just let me deal with the questioning in front of the Wizengamot. I've got you the best Law Wizards available, nothing to be worried about, you'll be out of here before the interrogation really gets going." He laughed.

"Now, why would you be doing that Minister?" I asked.

"Well, I've always had your best interests at heart, you being the son of Lucius Malfoy and..." Voldemort's precious fuck toy, he probably wanted to say but thought better. "I just wanted to give you some idea, there's..." he paused looking nervous again. "The Aurors have found some nasty evidence, just keep quiet and I'll deal with it in the court room, just stay calm, the evidence might upset you somewhat..."

Oh Fudge, there's nothing much that can upset me now. I felt like laughing at this pathetic person, here he was more or less begging me to keep quiet and all I wanted was to be thrown in Azkaban again, there's this thing about solitude. One gets used to it after living in it all your life. I wonder what the evidence was, probably found some scraps in the dungeons, should be interesting enough.

"And in return...?"

"Just remember that we're in this together."

Of course Minister, I'll keep that in mind, we're in this together all right. He gave me another disgusting smile before he left. I watched him leave with narrow eyes, my father's hand must be behind this, the Minster has got a lot of allies, he can squirm his way out of probably every situation. What is the bastard thinking now?

"Draco?"

"Hmm."

He places the vial of Veritaserum in my hands, he knows I have ways around it; he's the one who taught me after all. I toss the liquid down and feel it burn its way through my throat.

"It's time, we have to go now."

I nod, ready to face judgement once again. Last time it hadn't been too bad, I was asked questions about specific raids and murders, I believe this hearing would be more personal, more in depth, probably more painful.

I'm too lost in my thoughts to pay attention to where I'm being led, the shouts and screams hit me like a ton of bricks, I raise my head to look at the swarm of people, throwing their hate my way. The moment my gaze made contact with theirs, the cloud visibly moved back. I couldn't help but smirk, at least my eyes still had the power to instigate fear.

The dungeon was, what...the size of a Quidditch pitch? The roar of the crowd was deafening, mixed with the havoc being caused outside, it almost seemed surreal. If only.

Deathly silence fell upon the audience as I entered, the Wizengamot were all present, including Albus Dumbledore. I felt his penetrating gaze before I was strapped down in to the bloody chair, I could almost feel his touch caressing my mind, just looking for an opening. I turned to him sharply putting all my power in one gaze at the same time as I resurrected mental barriers around my thoughts, letting Potter in before was a mistake, one that I refuse to repeat again. Dumbledore sent me a discreet nod, indicating he was backing off. Good.

"Continuation of the Civil hearing from the first of May..."

Mayday, how appropriate.

M'aidez.

It was used as a distress signal during the war, how muggle. Trust the Light Side to come up with something to further aggravate Voldemort. Fat lot of good it did them in the end. What was it all for? To save muggles? People who still aren't aware of our existence let alone appreciate or commemorate the loss of lives for their sake.

"...are you not?"

I mentally cursed myself for spacing out, especially at my own hearing, they might as well condemn me to death now and I would probably accept the deathly kiss with a dopey smile.

I looked up at the haggard face of Madam Amelia Susan Bones, 'Chief Strategist of the Second Division' in the war...not very good at her job if she sent her own niece in the snake's nest with as little experience. Still who would have thought the Hufflepuff would have put up such a fight, the little meetings Potter held in the Room of Requirement had come in handy after all, a worthy opponent. I suppose the only mistake she made was appearing at the most inconvenient of times, after all Voldemort didn't like to be interrupted when he was in the middle of things, or rather underneath.

Their I go with the horrible insinuations again....argh...stop brain! The things Azkaban could do to you, eh?

Bastard had a fetish to be bottom, who am I to not comply with His Ugliness' wish.

"The jury is not going to wait until it's convenient for you to answer, now, do you deny the charges against you from the hearing prior to this?"

"No."

"Subsequent to Malfoy's statement, it has been agreed that the disaster in Dufftown and the havoc in Hogsmeade was caused by raids led and participated by Malfoy and his other followers."

Oooh! Alliteration! Wonder how long it took them to come up with that, I literally had to bite my tongue from saying that out loud. Damn, the Veritaserum is strong.

Instead I settle with rolling my eyes for effect.

"Now, that that has been cleared up. This hearing is the second out of the three to decide the appropriate punishment for Mr Draco Malfoy's heinous crimes."

"I didn't know there was anything worse than death."

If my hands weren't chained to the arm rests of the chair, I probably would have done something undignified like whack myself on the head. But I know why I said it, Potter had always told me otherwise and I want to prove him wrong.

There is nothing worse than death because even after a person is gone, they leave a hollowness behind them, a haunting image deep within the eyes as it consumes all thoughts in need of escape.

I want my image to haunt Potter for the rest of his miserable life, I want his bright world to silently fade into the night without any sound, I want him to know what suffocation is, I want him to know what death is.

"You're right, Malfoy, you're not worthy of death. You should rot somewhere far away from civilisation, you're a dirty stain on this world - "

"Amelia!" That was the Minister, good to see he was keeping his word at least. "Innocent until proven guilty."

"Minister, what is there left to prove? I was there, I have seen him slaughter lives without blinking!" I surveyed the disturbance in the entire Wizengamot with a blank expression. Inside I was giggling like mad, I don't know why but it's not like I've needed reasons to express mental instability.

"We are in an official hearing, lest we forget." Dumbledore's stern voice rang out in the dungeon. I pouted. Ruin my fun why don't you. Madam Amelia Susan Bones got up and left the high table, such incompetent people the Wizengamot has employed. Half of the missions would have probably succeeded if not for such inept strategies. I mean who in their right mind would just barge in with just a handful of inexperienced Hogwarts students in the middle of a Death Eater meeting?

Though getting rid of them had been fun.

"Are you Draco Lucifer Malfoy?"

"Yes."

"Are you sane of mind?"

"That's debatable."

"It would be in your best interest to answer questions as directly as possible. I repeat are you sane of mind?" Stupid Auror, thinks he's all tough.

"Yes."

"I have here testimonies from previous Death Eaters, there is some interesting allegations against you, I would like you to confirm. Is it true that you had sexual relationships with Voldemort?"

Aha! I knew it; the fucking bastards were just bursting to ask me that question. And they call themselves the good guys, kicking a man when he's down. I wasn't to be humiliated by them, they think they have the upper hand; well we'll see about that.

"I don't see how that is of relevance to this hearing."

"We will decide what is relevant or not, shall I repeat the questions?"

I was seething, I had to control my powers before I ripped apart this man, I could almost see the smugness dancing in his eyes at my anger. "Yes," I barely whispered.

"Sorry, I didn't hear, could you repeat?"

"Yes, I did." I repeated. "But I had sexual relationships with Harry Potter too, I don't see that being questioned."

A loud murmur started in the audience, well they had come for entertainment and I was giving it to them. I'm surprised actually that many people weren't aware of our little 'lover's tryst' seeing as the whole of Hogwarts had been aware of it and news leaked like water from within the walls of Hogwarts.

"Order, in the court!" The Minister said, he looked uncomfortable, I could tell. Nothing like what I was feeling, I wasn't uncomfortable per se, just really annoyed at myself for losing control. "Auror Armand, can you please explain the relevance of this question."

"Yes sir," he said before turning his smirk towards me. "Ah, yes I was coming to that. I would like permission to call upon Pansy Parkinson in front of the Wizengamot."

"Permission granted."

I barely managed to stop myself from turning around in my seat as they brought Pansy Parkinson from the same door I had used to enter. She was being escorted by two Dementors on each side, her usually prim kept blonde hair looked grey with dirt and filth. Her eyes were downcast; all in all, she looked exactly like a person would if they had their soul sucked out of them.

I almost felt pity for her, she had been useful in her own way, certainly was loyal. I wonder what it took to break her. Just before she was brought to sit on the chair opposite me her eyes made a brief contact with mine, the blue sprung with life again and an emotion, almost guilt or was it grief, overcame her once aristocratic features.

"Are you Pansy Parkinson?"

"Yes." Her voice sounded as if she hadn't used it in over a decade, hoarse and hollow.

"In the interrogation that took place on the 21st of March, Miss Pansy Parkinson, under Veritaserum confirmed allegations concerning Mr Malfoy's relationship with Mr Harry Potter. I quote, 'Malfoy only fucked Potter because he knew what a fuckwit Potter was and was doing it all to get information about the Order from him, which he then gave to our Lord.'"

Well, I must say, wonderful choice of words. Though I know she knew it wasn't true, which means that she wasn't under Veritaserum The Aurors used another method of interrogation, one that's not exactly public knowledge: Torture until the subject agrees to whatever you want.

"Malfoy, you've been accused of supplying Voldemort with information you illicitly gained from Mr Harry Potter without him being any the wiser. Do you deny?"

I wonder where Potter was, his ego would not have stood to be insulted like this.

"Yes."

"What?"

"I deny the charge, my relationship with Potter was long over before I joined the Dark Lord."

"Are you saying that you took no advantage of whatever Mr Potter confided in you during your relationship?"

"Yes. Outside affairs weren't a topic we discussed often."

"And why is that?"

"Because we were too busy fucking."

Another uproar from the crowd, I was starting to have fun. It was like being at a Quidditch match, you score, the crowd roars. Though this wasn't the sort of crowd that would shower you with Butterbeer and illegally gained Firewhiskey after a victory. I could feel the hatred rolling off from either side of me, and I must admit, I enjoy the attention. Gives me power over each and everyone person present here, power to invoke such a strong emotion from them. Fools.

"Mr Malfoy will be reminded that this is a Civil hearing and use of such vulgar language is unnecessary and will result in his person being removed from the court," said Dumbledore sternly.

"Maybe you shouldn't have given me so much Veritaserum, I can't help being brutally honest," I said innocently, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the wicked gleam in my eye.

It was perverse to have so much fun at one's own hearing.

"Shall we continue?" The Minister interjected nervously between the staring contest between me and that old coot.

The Auror interrogating me cleared his throat, anxiously glancing back at the table where the members of the Wizengamot were seated. He received few nods, encouraging him to continue once again. I was glad to notice that the stupid man's confidence had diminished.

If I had Voldemort disgraced to a puddle at my feet, what can these mere mortals measure up to?

"Ahem...yes." He swapped the scroll he was holding in his hands, what idiots, they probably thought this hearing would be based solely on my betrayal towards Harry Potter. "So what were your motives during the brief interaction between you and Mr Potter."

"What do you mean?"

"Were you in love?"

No, I wasn't. No, you weren't in love. Draco Malfoy didn't love Harry Potter. No, I wasn't in love.

"What did you expect him to say?" the Potions Professor sneered. "Confess his love, elope with you, marry you and live happily ever after?"

My fingers dug deep in the moist grass; I wanted to hold on to something solid, something that won't crumble as I try not to drown. I panted for air through my mouth but no amount of oxygen in this world would fill my lungs.

"Draco," I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. "Do you love him?"

Love?

I swallowed painfully as I tried to prevent the treacherous tears from escaping. For a moment it seemed as if time had stopped, not a sound escaped through the night except for my pathetic panting as I crouched on the grass on all fours.

Swallowing the bile that threatened to spill, I extricated my fingers from the grass and pushed myself up. The thin slice of the moon provided the only source of illumination as we were too far away from the bright lights of Hogwarts. There was no place for me at Hogwarts, I didn't belong in the corridors that resonated with old love, nor did I deserve to bask in its warm glow, I certainly didn't belong in Potter's world.

I didn't belong with Potter.

"Draco where are you going?"

I ignored my mentor's alarmed question as I managed to move my numb limbs towards what I had decided was my fate, my salvation, my escape.

"Where I should have gone a long time ago."

He grabbed me by my shoulders and spun me around. His onyx eyes trying to penetrate through my dead orbs. He slapped me across the face yet no sting followed the sharp sound.

"Potter's not worth this, Draco," he pleaded. "Don't throw away your life. You don't know what the Dark Lord's like."

"You're my enemy as of now," I said in a monotonous voice. "You have a Malfoy's word that the Dark Lord will not know of your betrayal to our cause - "

"Draco don't do this."

" - until the next time we meet -

"He will kill you!"

I focused on his face through the dull haze I found my mind in. I etched his face in my memory, I had always thought of him as the father my own refused to be. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Suddenly he found himself enveloped in my embrace.

"Next time you see me, you won't recognize me," I whispered in his ear. "I will be greater than Voldemort, that's a promise."

Snape looked at me with horrified eyes, I suppose he could already see the metamorphosis in my eyes. I pushed him away and he barely managed not to stumble to the ground.

"Give Potter a message from me," I looked at him with unseeing eyes. "I will destroy him, even if that means the end of me. I will destroy him."

"Draco - "

"And the answer to your earlier question..."

"No. I wasn't in love with Harry Potter."

I ignored the gaze I could once again feel trying to penetrate through me, I gritted my teeth in annoyance. It didn't take me that long to answer, did it? The trick with Veritaserum is to make yourself believe what you're saying is the truth, and I believe from the bottom of my soulless heart that I wasn't in love with Potter.

Never.

After that the questioning was just a droned affair, my answers were automatic and swift. I felt so drained that I wasn't aware of when I was released from that abysmal chair and led back to the room I had been placed in before the hearing.

"Draco?"

"I wasn't in love with him, you know." Was the first thing that left my mouth, I don't know whether it was confirmation for him or reassurance for my own sake.

He didn't reply; I didn't expect him to. I wasn't in love with Potter, at least I wasn't meant to be. Maybe I deliberately deceived myself into thinking that maybe...maybe if hell froze over or if Voldemort started campaigning for Muggle Civil Rights...maybe there could be an 'us'.

Maybe...

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear the door opening and closing quietly. I was brought out of my reverie by a voice I didn't expect to hear, at least not in this lifetime anyway.

"Malfoy."

I looked up, not believing my ears, but there she was as clear as day, standing in front of me, in all her scarred and martyred glory. Her appearance hadn't changed drastically since our encounter two years ago, then again I've always made sure the marks I leave are permanent, whether they be scorched onto someone's flesh in anger or kissed on Potter's...no mustn't think about that now.

"What are you doing here?"

She walked towards me briskly and slapped me across the face. This seems to be a recurring theme, I spat out the blood that spilled from my cut lip. The sadistic smile that I had always reserved just for Granger slips back on my face with ease. I suppose the manic glint in my eyes is the cause of her fear as she takes a step back. I rise slowly from the chair and walk languidly towards her, trapping her against the wall.

"He never wanted you, you know," I whisper, letting my lips trail across the shell of her ear, making her shudder. "Nor that bastard you tried to protect so much."

She started sobbing. I take a step back and sneer at her. Pathetic really.

"Where's that bravado now?" I mock. "Can you still claim Harry as your own now?"

Granger doesn't answer but silently slides to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees, hiding her face while snivelling. I reach and grasp her chin, painfully, to force her to look at me.

"I told you Granger, I don't give up that easily," I said casually. "Of course, it took some...trials...to finally have everything prepared but like I told you before I claimed him long before you did and I don't give up my things easily."

"He said he cared for me..." she sniffed, her voice barely audible.

"Right," I drawl sarcastically. "And of course he acted as the perfect knight in shining armour that night. You remember that night don't you?" She whimpers as I sharply jerk her face away in disgust. I suppose I'll just have to remind her then.

What can I say; I've always had a passion for dramatics, which is why I wrenched apart the drapes surrounding Potter's bed with such fervour, causing them to actually come off the rails they were hanging on.

The look of surprise on Potter's face was priceless, completely priceless, not to mention the scream that accompanied Granger's look of horror...ah...like music to my ears.

"Surprise."

Well Gryffindors have always been a bit slow in the intellect department, thank God the Sorting hat didn't even consider putting me in this abominable house. I don't think I could have handled the lack of brain cells very well.

You could almost see the cogs turning in Potter's thick skull while Granger...well she was just petrified.

"Draco," He managed to splutter. His arms still wrapped protectively around Granger who was clinging on to him as desperately. The scene was nauseating.

"The one and only, baby. What, no welcome kiss?" I pout. "Did Snape give you my message? I told you I'd be back and I don't make a habit of breaking my promises."

He didn't waste any more time in grabbing his wand. In a flash he was standing face to face to me, the familiar emotions washing back across his features.

Ah...that's the fury I'm accustomed to, the hardness of emerald eyes, the grimness around the mouth and the hatred...the hatred directed towards me...reminds me of the old times. Blissful times they were, I assure you, but now's not one for reminiscing.

I stepped closer to him but he didn't flinch away, not that I expected him to, always the Brave Gryffidnor and all that bullshit I suppose. I raised my hand and brushed it lightly across his cheek before placing a chaste kiss on his lips, and as I expected the frigidness lessened a bit as he leaned into my touch.

"Miss me did you?" I whisper. He recoils as if stung, confusion written clear on his face for a split second before I found his wand pressed painfully against my throat. "Is this anyway to accost your ex-lover?"

"You were nothing more than an object, Malfoy," he hisses at me. I always found him unreasonably adorable when he got angry. It was as if he couldn't decide whether to go through the whole teen-angst routine or I'm-an-adult-dammit-treat-me-like-one drama. "I used you, got tired of you and then threw you away. Got it?"

"My, my Harry..." I chuckle. "I must've been a pretty damn good toy, I mean do you go around telling all your objects you love them?" I let my hands trail lightly across his inner thigh, feeling the muscles tremble at the barest of my touches.

"I hate you, Malfoy."

Without warning, I grab his face and plunge my tongue in his mouth, he stiffens instinctively yet doesn't push me away nor do I relent until I feel him respond to the kiss. Our tongues battling the old war of dominance while our lips mesh together in completion. I break away suddenly.

"No you don't," I whisper. "Besides, I'm not here for you. I promised something to Granger, just keeping my word."

"Don't you dare touch her." He moves between me and the pathetic bundle still quivering on his bed. I wrinkle my nose, how can he stand to be near her is beyond me. "Your fight is with me, not with her, she's done nothing to you."

"On the contrary, Harry," I smile. "Not everything revolves around you. I have some business to settle with her. Now are you going to make this difficult...?"

"You'll have to go through me first."

"Been there, done that. Gone in you, through you...same thing. Don't tell me you've forgotten already."

"You bastard."

"Tut, tut, Harry." I shake my head. "Mind your language, there are children here."

I love this part. I gave him an impious grin before clapping regally. The door to the dormitory was thrown open and Potter's dorm mates were dragged in, bound and all that of course.

"I'm cutting you a pretty good deal here, all of your housemates for Mudblood here."

He looked in horror at the hostages. A look of disbelief clearly written on his face.

"Oh this is real, Harry," I sigh. "I really don't want to hurt the pretty little ones. I mean it's only their first year at Hogwarts, would be a pity if they were sent back home. In parcels." I added for effect.

"Let her go, Harry," a voice rasped from behind. "She's not worth it, don't you see, she's ruined everything."

Seamus Finnigan, the only person who knew about Potter and I long before anyone else did, though that was through Potter's lack of alcohol intolerance as well.

"Finally, someone with brains." I throw my hands up in the air due to exasperation. "Listen to Finnergan, Harry."

"I...I..."

"Of course, I can always make an example or two," I consider. "You know, to kind of make you realize the situation."

"No!"

"Well then, wise choice, Harry." I clap my hands again. "Greg, get her."

"Harry! Harry!" she wails.

I simply walk towards Harry again and kiss him goodbye before exiting the dormitory. "Oh and the Hogwarts staff might need a bit of hand," I pause in the doorway and look down at my watch. "You have exactly three minutes twenty seven seconds left before the charm placed on the Great Hall explodes. Make that twenty six seconds. Time is running out...tick tock, tick tock...Ta, Harry."

Of course that wasn't entirely the truth, then again, honesty isn't really a Slytherin trait. The charm wasn't detrimental, well not unless a group Cruciatus Curse is supposed to be deathly. Designed by me obviously.

"You didn't love him," she jeers, angrily wiping at the tears that stained her face. Ah, finally a change in demeanour, so much loss of fluids surely isn't healthy. "You didn't give a damn about him and you know it. You'd have sooner given him to Voldemort long before you even got the Dark Mark. I loved him. Loved him beyond life itself, Malfoy, and that's a concept you'll never understand because to love, you need a heart, and you don't own one."

Great speech I must say, would have probably enjoyed it more if every fibre of my being wasn't stinging with fury, pain and hurt. How dare she say I didn't love Harry? I pull her up by her hair making her shriek in pain, good.

"I didn't love Harry?" I hiss in a menacingly low tone. "You bitch, I gave up my soul for him and I would do it again and again."

She tried to coil away from my grip but the movement only caused her to lose clumps of hair.

"You think you know what love is?" I ask, stubbornly refusing to let her go. "Love is when you will lay corpses and traipse upon them to get to that person, love is when your soul has been debauched, your life ripped apart in shreds yet you won't see any harm come to that person. Love is when you will die a thousand deaths for that one person and I've been killed, Granger, I've been killed and murdered and slaughtered and butchered many times than I can count but you know what? I don't have any regrets, why? Because I love Harry Potter and that idiot is alive, if it wasn't for that love, I assure you, he'd have been ashes a long time ago."

I release her violently; pulling away a cluster of her frizzy hair before her head makes a sound crack as it hits the wall.

"He didn't love me."

"Tell me Granger, how did you manage to get him to fuck you?" I ask the question that has burnt inside me for two years without finding any answers to quench that fire. "I know for a fact that he wouldn't have even touched you voluntarily."

She didn't answer straight away but just sat there staring into space or at something only she could see.

"I drugged him," she whispered. "He always wanted a family and I loved him so much. I saw beyond the hero façade -

"Yeah right," I snort.

" - I saw him for who he was. But then you were there." Her bleary eyes glared angrily at me. "You were a stain in his life, a blemish that refused to go away and I just knew he wanted to be saved. Saved from your dark clutches, because you couldn't give him what he wanted -

"And you could?"

" - And do you know ...he - he...oh God, what have I done?" she whispers in horror, her eyes wide with fear as a raw sob escapes her throat and her fists clench around her head. "He - he said your name when he came...even when I drugged him...he thought it was you..."

I stared at her as sobs wracked her frail body, I felt like comforting her but I suppose she just had to vent everything out. And besides, I'm not capable of such emotion. A monster doesn't placate its prey before devouring it; it's against all laws of nature. So I just stood and stared at her until she regained some semblance of control to continue.

"And when I told him I was pregnant...with his child...he looked so broken," she sighed forcefully, probably to prevent another sob from escaping. "As if the ground had slipped away from beneath his feet, as if he was falling and had no one to hold on to. I wanted to save him so much...to pull him up but I couldn't, not after...not after he said your name."

I couldn't stand to look at her anymore, I wanted to hate her so much...to inflict so much more pain upon her but what would be the point? Wasn't she suffering enough? I already killed her unborn child and though I should feel some kind of guilt, or remorse or even shock at what I did, I don't. I know what it feels like to be an unwanted child, and I know Harry, regardless of whatever mask he placed upon his face, whenever he looked at that child, he would just be reminded of his mistake. And I would never want Harry to live in grief. Never.

Despite how much I want him to suffer...I won't be able to...

I think she probably collected herself quietly and left, we didn't have anything to say to each other, everything that had to be was said already.

I wonder who's it worse for, her or me.

"You never said you loved me."

I sigh but don't turn around. I don't want to...I can't deal with this now. The confession to Granger has taken more out of me than I would have thought. Actually this is the first time I admitted my true feelings, out loud or otherwise and I'm still waiting for the consequence of that one admission, waiting for that final strike that will destroy everything I've so painstakingly built around me.

"I never said I didn't either."

I hear him walk towards me and wait for bated breath for his hand to come down upon me. I expected anything but the gentle caress of lips on my neck. I closed my eyes against the sensation, willing my body not to defy me as he turned me around so I was facing him yet I still hadn't opened my eyes. I couldn't look at him, not after everything that's been said and done.

Though I suppose I have to look at him, if only to confirm his hatred for me, I had to be brave, fight my fears, be a Gryffindor for once.

"Where did it all go wrong?" he whispers the question I've asked my self plenty of time. He gently strokes the side of my face with his thumb, being cautious as not to press too much on my bruised jaw. He leans forward and presses a light peck on my jaw.

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry you had to go through everything because of me. I'm sorry you didn't say you loved me." Tears leaked down his beautiful face and I found myself breaking again, shattering at every word he uttered, being crushed under the weight of his tears...suffocating by his sorrow. His emerald eyes looked up at me, through me... "I'm sorry I let you go. I'm sorry I didn't come after you...I'm sorry it had to turn out this way."

It felt like an eternity had passed and then some...just standing there, protected within each other's embrace. Healing each other's wounds through tears and inflicting new ones simultaneously. It hurt to be this close yet all the pain seemed to seep away as long as we held each other, as long as time stayed frozen...as long as we weren't interrupted...

"Harry we have to leave now."

He extricated himself from my arms and looked back. Dumbledore stood with Remus Lupin behind him, waiting for Harry. He nodded and turned to me, I couldn't shift my gaze away from him, I want to etch this tear stained face into my memory, not that I could ever forget it but I felt something important pass between us...some sort of significant promise uttered silently...a vow.

I think he forgot we had an audience as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, trying to devour me, become me and I responded with equal passion, I didn't want to let him go. Not again but when have the fates ever been in my favour.

"I'm sorry."

I watched him go with no emotion betraying my face yet I couldn't lie to myself, already a weight had settled upon my heart, a heart that Granger had claimed I didn't possess.

I wish this were some elaborate reconstruction like one of those black and white muggle movies Pansy so adored. Where the heroine tied down to the rail track would be saved by her hero seconds before the train collided with her. I think I can make myself believe that.

Yes, this is just another reconstruction; this is not how it actually happened. In reality I believe there's a happy ending, just Harry and I, in our secluded reality because we don't need anyone else.

Not Granger.

Not Dumbledore.

Not Voldemort.

Not my father.

Not anyone at all.

Just us.

Harry had always been my saviour, he saved me from myself years ago when I was on the brink of extinction, and on some level he even saved me from Voldemort. I suppose if it wasn't for the intensity I felt for him, I would never have had the strength to do what I did. He was my saviour, my reason, and my love. He was.

Is.

...to be continued...