Now That I Know

Now That I Know

By AmberNixie

Chapter Three -- You Affect Me

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies

So I don't know what's real and what's not

Always confusing the thoughts in my head

So I can't trust myself anymore

--'Going Under', Evanescence--

"So, was that fun or what?" Jade asked happily as she tossed her shopping bags onto the couch. "Next week we're heading out again, the four of us. We still need my ring, your dress, shoes..." She yawned. "And we have to contact the caterers, the florist, the invitation people or whatever they're called...I'm so tired, I don't even have the strength to even think about all that." She flopped onto the couch next to her bags. "You know what? I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'll actually be relieved when this wedding is over. Then I can relax."

"I'll jump for joy when it is," Ginny said dully, falling into an armchair opposite Jade. "The less I see of Draco, the better."

"Oh, yeah! Draco!" Jade gasped, sitting up like a shot. "I totally forgot! So, what do you think of him?"

Ginny pretended to gag.

"Come on, he isn't that bad," Jade wheedled. "If Blaise weren't my fiancé, I'd probably have a huge crush on Draco. I mean, you can't hate him, really, he's so...charming," Jade said dreamily. But she snapped back to reality instantly. "But, since Blaise is my fiancé, you can have Draco."

Ginny burst out into fits of sarcastic laughter. "Oh, that is so funny, Jade!" she cackled. "Considering the fact that I hate the goddamn hoity-toity git!" Her voice grew increasingly angry, and when she uttered git, she wasractically shrieking.

"OK, OK, calm down," Jade said soothingly. "I won't tease you anymore. But think about it, Gin, won't it be so cool? Four best friends...on double dates...and this time Blaise and I can be co-wedding planners for your wedding..."

Ginny raised a warning finger.

"I think I'll shut up now," Jade said nervously.

"Good idea."

"Are you sure you--"

"Jade."

"OK, OK, I'll quit. Listen, I'm really tired, so I hope you don't mind if I go take a nap. I'm going to Blaise's later, you want to come along?"

"Yeah, I think I will," Ginny said, before suddenly realising that Draco might be there. The last thing she wanted was to see him again--once a day was living hell, twice was unthinkable. "Tell me Draco isn't going to be there," she said urgently.

Jade shrugged. "Let me call Blaise."

In the five minute conversation she and Blaise had, which was peppered with 'I-love-you' and 'honey' and 'darling' the whole way through, Ginny learned that Draco was indeed going to be there, instantly making her mind up for her. She was most certainly not going.

The second Jade hung up, Ginny blurted out a firm no.

"Come on, Ginny, please go...you'll like it! I'm going to show Blaise my gown, and we can have dinner there....you know, Blaise is a very good chef, much better than me, and since it is my turn to cook tonight if we stay in, you can go to Blaise's and have something much better than defrosted--"

"No thanks, Jade--I'd rather go hungry," Ginny said firmly.

Jade's eyes began to droop.

"Oh no you don't!" Ginny began, but it was too late.

Jade had already put on her puppy dog eyes, and it didn't look like she was going to remove them. Ginny hated them, not because they were ugly (they were rather cute, really)--but because they always persuaded her to do things she didn't want to.

I am not going. I am not going. I am not--

"Oh, alright," Ginny sighed, giving up. It was useless to fight with Jade's puppy dog eyes. Whenever she tried, Jade would just make them droopier and more adorable than ever, thus banishing any thoughts of resisting them any longer.

"Great!" Jade cheered. She hugged Ginny. "Thanks, Gin! You're the best friend anybody could ever have!" The huge, gleeful grin she had on her face when she let go of Ginny was the same one any spoilt, fat kid would exhibit when he or she had just received the largest lollipop on the face of the earth.

* * * * *

"Why do I always get myself into this? Why?" Ginny shouted to no one in particular as she tore through her wardrobe for an outfit for the fifth time in a row. Every time she looked through her clothes, she found nothing that interested her. Or anything that would interest Draco, she found herself thinking.

"Arghhhh!" Ginny shrieked, flinging herself onto her bed. "I hate him! And I want to impress him! I think about him, and I go insane, but I hate him! I detest him! I despise him! What is wrong with me?"

"Ginny, are you OK?" called a groggy voice from next door.

Whoops.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Jade! Don't...don't worry!" Ginny called back nervously, sitting up immediately. She strode to her wardrobe, closed her eyes, and randomly picked something off the hanger rack.

She opened her right eye ever so slightly.

Her pink pyjamas glared back at her.

"Oooooh," Ginny snarled in contempt, throwing the pyjamas onto the floor furiously. She shut her eyes once more an snatched something off the rack, this time feeling it all over before realising she did not recognise it.

She opened her eyes.

It was an unfamiliar turtleneck; a purple one. She liked it, purple being her favourite colour, but she knew it wasn't hers. She sank onto her bed slowly, fingering the blouse. This was nice. Maybe it was Jade's? She didn't think so. But it was lovely...

"Do you like it?"

Ginny gave a tiny shriek, jumped up from her bed and whirled around. "Oh, my..." The words died on her lips. Harry Potter, who seemed to have materialised out of nowhere, was standing in a corner of her room, looking at her with those eyes, the ones that had first mesmerised her so long ago. She may have fallen out of love with him since, but the memory of him had never left her. One hand flew to her mouth. "H-Harry?"

He nodded, and suddenly all thoughts of Blaise and Draco flew out of her mind.

But when he spoke, his voice sounded ragged, torn.

"I heard you shouting about somebody," he said slowly, and it hit her. He had heard her yelling her head off about Draco. Hastily, she shook her head. "It's not what you think, Harry, I--"

"Wait, Ginny," Harry said quietly, cutting her off. "Let me explain."

She took a deep breath, and nodded, letting him continue, though she was wondering what he had to explain. After all, he hadn't been the one ranting and raving about impressing Draco Malfoy.

"I wanted to tell you," Harry began. "It's been ages since Hogwarts, I know. But it is now I've realised how I...how I feel. About you. So I came here, to find you. I bought you the blouse, put it in your wardrobe. But now that I'm here, it seems you have found somebody you wish to impress."

"No, Harry, it isn't like that," Ginny said quickly. "I was angry with myself, that's all..."

"Then who is 'he'?"

"Were you...were you listening?" Ginny asked tentatively.

"I was here at four," Harry said. "Your window was open, but no one was at home. So I waited here, and now..." He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Oh. About the 'he'. Well...ahem." Ginny didn't quite know what to say. "Well, he's...somebody I met, and I...no, wait, don't get me wrong," she babbled, seeing the look on his face. "I hate him, he's a horrible guy..."

"But you want to impress him?" Harry pressed, looking very confused.

"I didn't mean that," Ginny said, desperate for him to stay. "You see, I..."

"No, Ginny. I understand," Harry said.

"You...you do?" Ginny said gratefully. Maybe an explanation wasn't necessary after all.

"Yes, I understand. I understand perfectly that you are in love again. And the man isn't me." He smiled weakly. "It's been nice seeing you again, Ginny." He took a step closer to her, and her heart began to pound. What was he saying? Was he leaving?

Harry paused. Then, hesitantly, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You...take care of yourself."

And then he turned and climbed out of her window, pulling something out of his coat pocket. It was a cloak, and before Harry put it on, he turned to Ginny once more. "You still haven't told me who 'he' is," he said. "Is he someone I know, or...?"

Oh yes, he's someone you know. Your enemy.

"N-no...I don't think you know him," Ginny said, not quite knowing why she was lying to him. She could very well tell him that she liked him, Harry, very much, and they would probably live happily ever after. But something told her that was not what she wanted, and as she watched Harry disappear before her very eyes, Ginny was glad he had gone.

* * * * *

"How do I look?" Jade asked breathlessly, patting her hair. She and Ginny were standing outside Blaise's huge bungalow, having just rung the doorbell. They were now waiting for Blaise to open the gate, and Ginny realised her heartbeat was beginning to speed up.

"Great," Ginny said, managing a grin. She had been jolted, no other word for it, by Harry's reappearance, and had chosen not to wear the purple blouse he had given her, no matter how beautiful it was. Somehow she felt more reassured in her own clothes.

"You look great yourself," Jade said, grinning, with a twinkle in her eye, and Ginny instantly knew what she was up to.

"Jade, what did I say?" Ginny asked, in a warning tone.

"Sorry, sorry," Jade mumbled. The automatic gate swung open just then, and Ginny, relieved they did not have to continue talking about her hatred (hatred...or something else?) for Draco, strode right into the porch (in which a Porsche and a Ferrari were parked) without waiting for Jade.

"Hey, Ginny," Blaise said, causing Ginny's heart to hammer like crazy. Forget Harry.

"Hi," she said, just as Jade arrived behind her. "Hello, Blaise!" she cooed, brushing past Ginny and locking lips with her beloved fiancé...Right, maybe I won't forget about Harry after all, Ginny thought, trying hard not to stare at her friends and invade on their privacy. It was hard.

"So, is Draco here yet?" Jade asked, after she and Blaise came up for air. "I cannot wait to model my gown!"

"No, he's not here yet, but he should be here soon," Blaise said. "Come in, make yourself at home..."

Ginny had never been to Blaise's before, but he certainly was rich. She marveled at the beautiful antiques all over the place. This was one house she would like to live in. Not very likely, though, she realised, glancing over at Blaise and Jade, who looked as though they were about to start snogging again . Sighing, Ginny sank into an armchair, wondering what she was going to do...

"Um, Ginny? Blaise wants to show me this pitcher plant in the back garden, you want to come along?" Jade asked, startling Ginny.

"Oh, no, no...it's OK," Ginny said. "You guys go. I'll just...sit here."

"OK!" Jade chirped, before yanking Blaise in the direction of the back garden as fast as lightning.

But Ginny instantly regretted her decision to leave the lovebirds in peace. What if Draco arrived? She looked around desperately, searching for somewhere to hide in case he popped out of nowhere.

The door swung open just then, and Draco stepped in, before closing the door and pocketing a key, obviously one Blaise had given him.

Too late.

"Hey, Bla--" Draco stopped in mid sentence, his eyes having fallen on Ginny.

"Er, hi," Ginny squeaked.

"Hey, Weasley," Draco said, perhaps a little less scathing than usual. Maybe because he was slightly surprised to see her there. Ginny felt something strange zooming up her spine. No, no, no. She was not having scandalous thoughts about Draco...

"So...where are Blaise and Jade?" Draco asked, leaning against the wall and folding his arms, casually, calmly. Ginny stared. Isn't he going to sit down? After all, if Blaise trusts him enough to give him the key, surely he can trust Draco not to mess up the furniture...

When Draco did not get any reply, he waved one hand at Ginny, who was looking rather blur. "Hello? Earth to Weasley? Where are Blaise and Jade?"

"Oh, God!" Ginny gave a little squeal. "Sorry, I...er, I..."

"Drifted off into dreamland?" Draco provided, smirking.

"I...well, yes," Ginny admitted sheepishly. "I mean, not that I was, you know, sleeping or anything..."

Draco faked a yawn.

"Shut up!" Ginny snapped without thinking.

Draco widened his eyes, looking very innocent. "What? I didn't say anything?"

"I meant, stop that," Ginny growled.

He shrugged. "I'm still waiting for you to answer my question."

"Oh. They...went off somewhere. To...do something," Ginny said, not quite remembering what Jade had told her; she had been too absorbed in thoughts of Blaise and Harry (and Draco, too, she realised with a shudder).

"Oh. I see." Draco's smirk widened.

"Not like that, you pervert," Ginny said, trying to hold back a grin and failing to do so.

"Pervert? Now look who's talking." Something stirred in Draco, and as he watched her, he wondered why he had been so terribly rude to her in the past. She made him smile, that was for sure. In fact, he was doing so (though against his own will) right now. She looked up at him, grinning, yes, but he detected something strange in her eyes, something not quite right.

"You look upset," he remarked.

She stopped grinning. "It's nothing," she said quickly, immediately telling him it was not nothing indeed.

"Something happened?" he asked.

"I said it's nothing," Ginny said, this time a little more irritably than before. Back off, Draco told himself. She was sensitive, this one. Just like Kelly had been...

Thoughts of Kelly tore into his mind, and Draco clenched his fists involuntarily.

Not now, he thought, Don't think about Kelly now...

"Ah, Draco, you're here."

Draco and Ginny both turned; Blaise and Jade were back. Draco spotted lipstick on Blaise's cheek and glanced at Ginny, raising an eyebrow. She looked back at him, having seen the lipstick too, and rolled her eyes.

He didn't have to worry about thinking too much about Kelly. He had other things to keep his mind preoccupied now, that was for sure.