Therefore, I Dance

Chapter Eight

Ami [A/N- pronounced A(like in ha)-me; HA-H+Me=Ami] became the best friend I never had. He was smart and he always seemed to know how to make it seem like he was listening, even though I knew he really was listening. I suspected that he was part Kneazle, which I had looked up in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. His golden eyes seemed so observing and to me, he was simply beautiful.

My second year passed without any more significant events and without any visits to my dance room. When I went back home for the summer, I never saw my father. I was given a schedule, which included several lessons and a few appearances to some parties, though none were future possible husbands.

When I came back to Hogwarts for my third year, I noticed someone of interest, a new professor. It was like I hadn't had new professors before, but he was different and he looked shabby and uncaring of his appearance. I looked down the High Table to see if there were any more new teachers, when I caught a small but sure look of poison from Snape towards the new professor. Dumbledore quieted the Great Hall and introduced this new teacher as Professor Lupin, along with Hagrid as the new Care of Magical Creatures teacher. Hagrid looked thrilled, but I brought my attention back to Professor Lupin. Few people clapped when he was introduced, but those who did clap, did so enthusiastically*. Harry Potter and his best friends Ron and Hermione were who made up most of the group who clapped. I wondered if Harry and Lupin knew each other.

Professor Lupin's class easily became my favourite class. He was smart and he was very kind. As the year went along, I noticed some disappearances from him two or three times per month. I wasn't sure why he left, until Professor Sinistra, our Astronomy professor, gave my class an assignment on the full moon. I wanted to conduct my own research on the moon, so I went onto the grounds that night to get a head start on my assignment.

I sat on the hill that connected Hogwarts with the grounds, waiting for a small cloud to uncover the nearly full moon. I took out my quill and parchment when I noticed a figure sitting on the hill a a little farther away from me on my right side. I had the strangest feeling, of being deeply alone and being in pain, and I had to go to whoever is was and try to comfort them. As I got closer, I recognised who it was. I also took note of how pale he was, even in the dark of the night. He didn't move, but I knew he knew of my presence. I sat down next to him and followed his gaze into the sky. He watched as the smokey-grey coloured clouds uncovered the moon, allowing it to freely give light to the desolate darkness.

"Why are you here so late?" he asked me, never looking at me, intently holding his gaze towards the moon.

"I was working," I replied. Neither of us felt the need for words. It was just a moment of understanding. The silence kept for a few minutes. Finally, he sighed and brought his gaze down towards the grass on the lower side of the hill.

"It always seems darker near the full moon," he said. "Even though the moon is becoming it's brightest.

I said nothing, but I looked at him in thought. He kept his head down towards lake.

"You fear the moon," I said. It wasn't a question. Now, I knew it was true.

He turned towards me. He knew I would never tell.

"No," he said. "I fear the effects of the moon. Pain... death. Always unintentional*, always unknowing, always more painful," he said.

I took in his words and thought them to be sad, but true. Many times, your pain is from something you know about, you kill knowingly, but he... he couldn't know. It was simply there and expected, like the tree who dreads the upcoming winter, where he will be gone, but he still stays strong.

"It's like this always?" I asked.

"There's a potion," he said. "It helps." He looed back towards the lake. I was glad that at least he wasn't suffering as much. I wasn't stupid. I knew about how much pain was freely given in the transformation from human to beast, not from experience, but strangely, just from understanding. That is what it was, simple and pure understanding. There was an empathy that connected us, but not in love. I knew it wasn't love. Love is when you know you are with the right person, forever. This was simply understanding. I had never been through the transformations that he felt commonly, but I had been alone. We both understood how much it hurt to simply be alone and when the full moon came, I knew he would be alone, somewhere, under the effect of the potion, keeping his sanity, but regretting it in the same too.

"When the full moon comes," he said. "I don't want you to come." I wanted to object, but I knew it was better. It would hurt him more if I was hurt.

I wordlessly agreed and stood up. I turned around to go back to the castle. He stayed there with his head kept towards the lake.

"And Lisa," he said. I turned back to him. "Thank you. Normally, these nights are the most lonely." I nodded my head and made my way towards the castle entrance. When I got back to my dormitory, I realized that I had left my quill and parchment on the grounds. I didn't care, though, as I could just as easily have looked it up in a book and been finished.