From the Eyes of the Werewolf

The Marauder's Map

With security heightened around Hogwarts, Remus was almost certain that Dumbledore would cancel the Hogsmeade visit scheduled for the weekend. However, much to his and most of the staff's surprise, the visit went as planned. Saturday morning brought an exciting chatter to the Great Hall as students were anxious to get out into the fresh air. Remus was grateful for the quiet that would eventually fall over the school and he looked forward to spending a peaceful and uneventful day relaxing.

After breakfast, Remus spent the morning wandering the halls, catching up with some of the other staff members. Poppy complained to him for almost an hour about Snape's sixth year class and how they had a disaster preparing the last assigned potion. The whole lot of them ended up with purple spots and blue hair. Later, when Remus bumped into Flitwick, he nearly knocked over an Easter display the tiny professor was working on for his classroom, complete with eggs, rabbits, and more flowers than Remus could count.

After joining Professor McGonagall and Madam Hooch for lunch, Remus headed back to his room and took up reading one of the many novels stored on the bookcase in his room. Remus loved to read, especially books that took him away like this one did. Several hours passed as he fell deeper and deeper into the story of this innocent man who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. His best friend betrayed him causing him to be sent off to prison unjustly and without a trial. The hero had just broken out of the prison when a rapping at the window brought Remus back to the real world. An owl waited patiently outside the window with a letter clutched in her beak. Remus sighed, reluctantly put the book down, and opened up the latch to allow the animal into the room. He gave the owl a biscuit and took the letter from him politely. Remus smiled happily when he saw Katie's handwriting on the letter. He quickly tore open the envelope and began reading - his book lay forgotten on his desk.

Dearest Remus,

I'm glad that you are feeling better and that you seem to have calmed down. It's wonderful to hear about Harry and the progress he is making. I am so proud of all you have been able to do this year and flattered by your desire to share those moments with me. Believe me, I do wish I could be there with you. I look at the globe you sent me for Christmas and wonder why you didn't include a little figure of your self so I would know just where you were at all times.

After reading your last letter, I was concerned about why you would need to apologize to me. Remus, I feel as if I have caused you pain in some way and perhaps it is I who need to apologize. So let us simply admit to our odd behaviour and blame it on the fact that we both miss each other and hope to see each other soon.

I was thinking about you the other day when Mrs. Noyes asked me to fill an order for Erumpent Potion. I remembered the last time I prepared it and you came into the shop, asking if you could help. I asked you to stir the Sleeping Potion and you stirred the Erumpent Potion in stead. After it exploded, you explained that you were never very good in potions class! Oh Remus, I can still see you, covered in green goo, your hair dripping wet and hanging in your eyes. We must have laughed about that one for hours, and I admit to chuckling a little the other day just picturing your hair with streaks of green running through it!

I do miss you, you know. Before you left, I admitted that I would miss the lessons in the garden, but it's really more than that. I miss just having you here to talk to. I miss knowing that any moment you might show up unexpectedly. I miss dinner together and laughing together and simply being together. I missed you terribly over the Christmas holiday and am not looking forward to Easter without you, but I know that you are where you are needed. It may seem selfish of me to say so, but I really wish you would come home for the Holiday - even if it were just for a few days.

I hope this letter finds you well. Please write and let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your classes. As difficult as he was to catch, I have thought about that Grindylow several times and how I had a little part in at least one lesson at Hogwarts. I look forward to hearing from you soon. And do consider coming for Easter. It wouldn't be spring in the garden without you.

Love,

K

A silly sort of a smile lingered on Remus' face. She missed him - and that meant more to him than the world. Her suggestion that he come home for the Easter holiday was an enticing one, but one that Remus didn't think possible. He needed to stay at Hogwarts now more than ever. The last break in had set the whole school on edge. The whole staff was needed to keep things as safe as possible. As much as Remus wanted to see Katie, he knew that it would be selfish of him to leave the school at such a critical time.

Still...perhaps he could mention it to Dumbledore and see what the Headmaster thought. Maybe, just maybe he could get away. His heart was torn between what he wanted and what was necessary. Was it really important that he go home for a few days? Katie wasn't in danger like Harry and the other students were - unless you consider one Parson Parolles dangerous.

Indeed...he is dangerous, but not in the same way as...

"Lupin!" Snape's voice sounded, startling Remus. "I want a word."

What now? With a heavy sigh, Remus went to the fireplace, tossed in a handful of Hogwarts floo powder, and said, "Severus Snape's office." Seconds later, Remus stepped out of the fireplace and into Snape's office. "You called, Severus?" he said casually, brushing off some ash that had collected on his robe.

"I certainly did," Snape snapped furiously as he walked over to his desk. It was then that Remus looked up to see Harry, looking very grim, sitting in front of the dask. "I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this." Snape pointed at a piece of parchment on his desk. Remus looked down at it and froze.

OH!

MY!

GOD!

Moony...Prongs...Padfoot...Wormtail...THE MAP! It was only by the grace of long years of practice in his youth that Remus managed to keep the surprise off his face and assume a decidedly neutral expression. Harry had this in his pocket? How did Harry end up with it? Was Harry the one who took this from the Filch's filing cabinet?

"Well?" said Snape. Remus didn't dare look up at him, keeping his eyes firmly on the map and trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible. What does he want me to do? Surely Snape doesn't recognize the names! He couldn't...well, he could...but would he remember our old nicknames? How do I explain this? And oh lord...look at what it says...large nose? Ugly git? Slimeball?

"Well?" said Snape again. "This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?" Snape's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Dark magic...oh really... Remus risked a very brief glance at Harry, hoping he would stay quiet until Remus could get out a believable explanation. Now pay attention, Harry. And please don't interrupt! Just keep calm...

Remus straightened up and assumed a calm and reasonable tone. "Full of Dark Magic? Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who reads it. Childish..." And damn funny! "but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop -"

Snape cut him off. "Indeed? You think a joke shop could supply him with such a thing? You don't think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?"

So he does recognize the names...oh dear...let's see...

"You mean, by Mr. Wormtail or one of these people?" Remus turned to Harry and decided to take a risk. Surely Harry doesn't know whom these nicknames belong to. "Harry, do you know any of these men?"

"No," said Harry quickly.

Good! But...you do know them Harry..."You see, Severus. It looks like a Zonko product to me -" From the look on Snape's face, Remus could tell he didn't believe what he was hearing. He's not bying it. You need to think of something convincing and FAST!

Ron Weasley burst through the door at that very moment, out of breath and holding his side in pain. "I - gave - Harry - that - stuff," he panted. "Bought - it - at - Zonko's - ages - ago..."

AH HA! Right on cue! "Well!" Remus said, clapping his hands together signaling the end of the discussion. "That seems to clear that up! Severus, I'll take this back, shall I?" Without even waiting for Snape to object, Remus folded up the Map and tucked it safely inside his robes. Now to get out of here quickly...AH! I have just the thing! "Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay - excuse us, Severus - "

Remus led them out of the room and all the way back to the entrance hall. No one said a word, but Remus couldn't keep his mind from wandering while they walked. How did Harry get this? How long has he had it? Who else has seen it? Most certainly he's shown it to Ron and Hermione...they've probably used it to sneak out of the castle! Oh Lord...what if Harry had been out in Hogsmeade when Sirius was there? What if he had dropped it where Sirius could have picked it up? Then Sirius could have used it to get to Harry...waited until Harry was alone...Surely Harry realizes how potentially dangerous this Map could be if it fell into the wrong hands! Harry should have given this to Dumbledore ages ago.

Of course...Harry's not the only one who should have told Dumbledore the truth...

When they reached the entrance hall, Harry started in on his excuse. "Professor, I -"

"I don't want to hear any explanations." I think I'm better off NOT knowing! Remus glanced around to make sure there was no one who could hear the conversation. "I happen to know that this map was confiscated by Mr. Filch many years ago. Yes, I know it's a map," he said as Ron and Harry looked back at him in total surprise. "I don't want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn't hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around. And I can't let you have it back Harry." No...I can't let Harry have access to routes out of the castle.

"Why did Snape think I'd got it from the manufacturers?"

"Because...," He probably thinks I gave it to you! "Because these map makers would have wanted to lure you out of school. They'd think it extremely entertaining." Indeed, we would.

"Do you know them?" said Harry, looking very impressed at Remus.

Er...well...how do I put this? "We've met," Remus said, looking at Harry, hoping he wouldn't question him further about how he knew Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

For some reason, Remus felt a wave of over protectiveness toward Harry at that moment. Knowing that it was his duty to make sure Harry understood just what could have happened, Remus decided he would leave Harry with something profound to consider. "Don't expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you hear when the dementors draw near you would have had more effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them - gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks."

Before Harry could say another word, Remus turned and walked away. He had meant to leave Harry feeling a bit guilty, but instead found that his chiding sounded very hypocritical considering the information he, himself, was with holding.

Over come with guilt, Remus made his way back to his room. Once inside and alone, he pulled out the map and looked at it closely. The insults rendered towards Snape were still blazing on the parchment. Taking out his wand, Remus muttered the words he had spoken so many times as a boy. "I solemnly swear..." He paused, choking back the emotion he was feeling... "that I am up to no good."

The spidery lines spread out over the parchment, just as they always had. Remus swallowed hard as he watched the curly lettering appear.

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief - Makers

are proud to present

THE MARAUDER'S MAP

A gasp escaped his throat as he remembered...he remembered...everything. The way James would never push up his glasses until they were about to fall off his face. The way Peter would snort when he laughed too hard. The way Sirius would button his robes lopsided just to get some pretty girl to fix it for him. And the way Remus felt when his friends would go running with him under a full moon.

He looked back down at the map and, with his lip trembling, asked, "Oh Sirius...why? Why did you do this?"

The squiggly writing that was "Padfoot" wrote out a response.

"Mr. Padfoot acknowledges the great Professor Lupin and begs him kindly repeat the question."

Remus rubbed at his eyes, trying desperately to hold back the tears, but he just couldn't. Even though he had been looking for the map for so long, he hadn't considered what would happen when he actually found it. He certainly didn't take into account the memories it would bring back and the old wounds it would reopen.

Feeling his legs going weak, he sat down at his desk. Not wanting the map to "hear" him, he sat quietly brooding on his thoughts. Thoughts about how naive they once were, even though they thought they could conquer anything. Thoughts about how he would give anything to have his friends back. And most importantly, he thought about how much he could help if only he would tell Dumbledore the truth.

Not able to look at the map a moment longer. He wiped it clean with a shaky, almost inaudible, "Mischief managed." As the text vanished from before him, Remus sobbed a guttural sound. His hands fisted tightly around the map, crumpling it. Leaning over his desk, he rested his head and allowed himself to cry mournfully for the friends he had lost...and for the life he had lost...and for the fact that he was too cowardly to speak up and tell the truth.

To be continued....