From the Eyes of the Werewolf

Chapter Ten

Full Moon

Katie looked up from her cauldron as Remus entered the shop. She smiled warmly at him and motioned for him to join her in the back room. Following her, Remus was surprised at how nervous he was. This would either be a breakthrough...or a major disappointment.

As he entered the back room, Katie had her back to him, pouring the mixture into a goblet. She turned around and met his eyes before offering him the potion.

"It took me forever to get it right, but I think I finally managed."

She had worked all day yesterday on it. It was her intention to take the potion over to Remus' house last night for dinner, but it had failed. Instead of smoking normally, it had boiled away and ruined one of her cauldrons. Katie had apologized numerous times over dinner, but Remus had merely said that he didn't mind at all and was thankful she was even willing to help. But of course she was willing to help...that was Katie.

Remus, put the goblet up to his nose, sniffed at the liquid and drew back quickly. Katie gave a small half-hearted laugh and nodded.

"I know. It stinks to high heaven, but I'm reasonably certain it's supposed to smell like that," she frowned.

"It's revolting." Remus looked into the goblet with disgust.

"Well, I tried to use sugar, thinking it would help the taste, but when I added it the potion turned a violent green color. I think the wolfsbane root and the sugar cane have a negative effect on each other. Apparently, sugar might make it taste better, but it would also make it useless." She looked up at him regretfully.

Remus sighed. Seeing Katie look at him like that broke his heart. She was feeling sorry for him and that was the last thing he wanted. Why had he ever told her the potion was for him? Why had he ever told her abut the wolf? WHY?

Because she means the world to you, you twit...so just down the potion and get this over with!

"Have you tasted it?" he asked her out of curiosity.

"No," she replied. "It's a very strong mixture and from what I can tell..." she paused and looked down at her feet, "it would put me...or any...er...unaffected human...right to sleep." Her voice had gone very soft when she mentioned the human bit, not wanting to upset Remus. It did upset him, however he wasn't willing to let Katie see that.

Unaffected human....

"Well, then. I guess the only way to find out if it tastes as badly as it smells is to try it." He lifted the goblet up and said, "Cheers."

Pressing the goblet to his lips, he downed the potion as fast as he could, trying to ignore the disgusting taste of it. It burned his throat as it slid down into his gut. He could feel the sting of the wolfsbane, an ingredient that could kill him if taken in large doses. He swallowed hard as the last drops of potion passed over his tongue. His eyes were shut tightly and he knew he was making a wretched face.

Blinking away the awful flavor of the potion, Remus looked at Katie again. She had covered her mouth with her hands and was watching him very cautiously. He smacked at his lips with his tongue, trying to get the taste out of his mouth, but to no avail.

"So?"

"It tastes worse than it smells, but then...it's probably worse for me."

"What do you mean?"

"You see, my senses are heightened by the wolf."

"Ah," was all she said, and her eyes fell to the floor again.

The potion had indeed tasted bad, but when Katie made it for him it tasted much better than the mixture Snape brewed. Funny how that works, Remus thought. He had been taking the potion now for almost a year, and he still wasn't used to the taste.

There were things to be learned from his experiences with the potion as well. For the first time, he could think as himself while in the wolf form. It didn't stop his thoughts from running wild, but he could reason them out. Sometimes when he was feeling overly anxious the wolf would become more like the animal that it was and Remus would have to force himself to stay calm. But at least he was able to control himself now some what...control the urge to hunt and kill.

Tonight was going to be one of those nights when the wolf would be exceptionally restless. Remus could feel it pulsating through him. The harder he fought to push back his anger, the more the wolf wanted to express it. And it was all because of Sirius.

The break in and the knowledge that Remus had concerning Sirius' animagus form was eating away at him. He was so angry at Sirius, not only for breaking into Hogwarts, but also for the damage he had done to everyone's lives. Remus knew that the wolf would want out tonight, and no matter how much of the potion he would drink, the wolf would most likely become violent. The potion allowed him to think, but it didn't stop the wolf entirely.

Slipping out of the castle and down to the Whomping Willow, Remus returned to the one place he had avoided since his school days. It was the one place he was certain to be safe, no matter what happened. The one place that he could go and know for a fact that he wouldn't hurt anyone.

The Shrieking Shack.

He hadn't been here in years, but he would never forget this place. He glanced around at the ruined walls and broken furniture with grief. He had done all this damage a long time ago. How much more damage would he do tonight?

He walked from room to room, making sure the house was still secure; locking all the doors and solidifying the windows that had cracks in them. All was in order. But he still wandered from room to room.

Pacing...

It always starts with pacing.

And wild thoughts.

How did Sirius get out of Azkaban?

How did he get past the Dementors?

What kind of dark magic was he using?

It had to be something that didn't require a wand...but what was it?

Think Remus! You're supposed to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts expert! You should know this!

The pull of the moon had started as moonlight stretched its fingers through the cracks in the boards covering the windows. Remus felt himself shaking. His limbs began to tense up rigidly.

Dark magic...

It HAS to be dark magic.

Sirius...why?

He fell to the floor on all fours as his back arched upwards. The pain of the transformation hit him with full force. He grabbed at his stomach feeling as if he might retch. The frustration he was feeling turned to real anger that Sirius had ever brought this upon them.

Damn you, Sirius Black!

His face contorted and lengthened slowly as he felt the hair begin to prick at his arms and legs and back.

Dark magic...

Not Padfoot...

He tried to grip at the tattered rug with his hands, but all he could do was scrape with his paws. The wolf threw back its head and with a mighty howl expressed the anger Remus had been suppressing.

Free....

He ran to the other side of the room and back, searching for a way out of the house. The wolf wanted to hunt and he certainly knew who the intended prey would be.

You can't get out and you know it!

This upset the wolf even more, for the wolf had better senses than Remus. He would be able to track down Sirius in a heartbeat. But if he found Sirius, then what would he do? Kill him?

Remus, you've never hurt another human being in your whole life! You are NOT going to start now! Besides, if there is one person who knows how to defend himself against the wolf, it's Sirius Black...or Padfoot rather.

Running from room to room, the wolf knocked over a chair and tore at the leg of it, biting and knowing in frustration at his predicament.

Let me at him! Never hurt anyone else! Attack him...stop him!

The wolf spat out the wood chunks and made a choking noise as some bits lodged in his throat.

That's it... WANT OUT!

The wolf threw himself at the wall and a yelp in agony. He tried again, but to no avail. Once more, and still nothing.

Padfoot...stop him...attack...

This is doing no good. You'll only hurt yourself!

Hurt Padfoot...want to attack!

Please! Stop this!

NO! MINE! OUT!

Oh God...I can't...I can't win...

ATTACK PADFOOT! Hurt Prongs and Wormtail...hurt Padfoot....

Now clawing at the already torn walls, Remus tried as he could to stay clam, but the wolf was in control...and it was going to be a long night.

***

Sunlight fell across his face as Remus slowly opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor, cold and aching head to foot. He must have passed out at some point. He shook his head trying to clear his confused mind. Had he actually slept through a transformation? It had been a long time since that had happened. Only when he had badly hurt himself had he managed to sleep through the setting moon.

And after those nights he was usually rescued by Sirius...but who would come now?

Pushing himself up with stiff arms, he tried to stand. A searing pain shot through his left arm and back. Grabbing at his shoulder, he realized he must have broken it while throwing himself at the wall. Managing to finally stand, Remus surveyed the damaged. His knee was also aching and bleeding from a deep cut. Touching a sore spot on his head, he found a large welt forming at his temple. His could feel his pulse beating in his head as a headache settled in. His stomach lurched from the dizziness.

Poppy...I have to get to Poppy...

But he couldn't walk. He collapsed to the floor once again, wondering what that distant sound was? It sounded like footsteps?

Sirius?

He felt a hand brushing the hair out of his eyes and through blurred vision he could make out a white beard and a wrinkled face.

"Oh dear," the man said. "I was afraid that something like this might happen."

It was Dumbledore. He had come to help...but how did he even know? Remus didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to explain this somehow.

"Sirius...I kept thinking about Sirius..."

Dumbledore pressed a finger to his lips to quiet him down, But Remus had to tell him before it was too late.

"He's...animal...he's....dog..."

"Yes, I see that the wolf was not very tolerant last night. Not to worry, Madam Pomfrey will have you better in no time." He conjured a stretcher out of thin air.

Remus couldn't believe it. Dumbledore thought he was talking about the wolf? "No...Sirius...he..."

"Shhh. Rest." And with a wave of his hand over Remus' face, he caused Remus to drift off into sleep.