A Most Unusual Student

A MOST UNUSUAL STUDENT

Chapter 4. Moonrise.

The next day I received a letter from Gwen: she and Edmund were finding it a little hard to adjust to life at home without Remus. As she put it: "... I don't think we've spoiled him, but we've spent so much time with him because of what has happened that it's suddenly very strange and lonely not to have him here with us. I suppose all parents feel this way when their children go away to school, but it doesn't lessen the pain of parting. " That was certainly true: Stephen and I were the same when Jasper went to Hogwarts, even though the other two were still at home.

Flying lessons and Quidditch practice had started in the second week of term. With broomsticks the transport of choice in our community, you would think that only the Muggle-born students might have difficulty with flying, but it was not so: the first month or so of a new school year invariably brought numerous sprains, broken bones and other injuries as first years commenced flying lessons, and older students tried out for their House Quidditch teams. I had long ago learnt to stock up with a plentiful supply of Bonesetta and Lucifer's Liniment.

Being kept so busy, I'd not even spoken to Remus since our emotional visit to the Shack. He may still have been shy in class, but from what little I saw of him, he was slowly becoming more at ease with the other students. During meals he chatted away happily; once or twice as we happened to pass in the corridors I saw him with the three boys from his dormitory. I knew nothing about the fourth boy, Pettigrew - short, plumpish and fair-haired with pointy features and a slightly shrill laugh - but the four of them seemed to get along well enough.

So I was quite startled to hear my wall planner remind me that tomorrow was the full moon. Gwen had told me that Remus generally felt tired and a bit moody for the day or so preceding a full moon, but suggested he probably wouldn't come to me until an hour or so before moonrise. She'd also warned me that he was sensitive to changes in his surroundings, which often made his transformations more difficult. I knew she and Edmund would be worried about his first full moon at school.

He seemed preoccupied during breakfast next morning, sitting towards the end of the table and saying very little. He toyed with his food, and left the Hall before most of his classmates. At lunch he looked pale and sat silently, eating little and clearly wanting to be left alone. I wondered what his afternoon classes were, wishing I'd thought to get a copy of his timetable.

Around four o'clock there was a loud knock at the waiting room door and a voice called "Madam Pomfrey?" Remus at last! I rose to let him in.

But it wasn't Remus who'd called. To my astonishment, Sirius Black stood at the doorway, one hand firmly on Remus' shoulder. Remus, very pale and cheeks slightly flushed, looked appealingly at me - clearly the last thing he wanted at this time was attention from his classmates. But surely they couldn't have found out about him already?

"Madam Pomfrey, this is Remus Lupin," Sirius said politely, pushing Remus forward. "We think he's sick or something. He says he's just got a bad headache but he looks really awful. With those cases of dragonpox ... well, we thought he should come and see you." He stepped back a little so I could see my "patient".

"Yes, of course," I replied calmly, greatly relieved that the explanation was so simple. "Very sensible of you to bring him down. You're Sirius Black, aren't you?" He nodded, looking surprised that I knew his name.

"Right, young Remus," I said briskly, crossing to open the door into the hospital ward, "I'll take a look at you. Please go into that far room and get into bed. I'll be right in to check you over - you don't look well at all." I noticed he was still carrying his schoolbag. "Why don't you leave that here - I'm sure Sirius will take it back to your dormitory."

Remus obediently handed the bag to Sirius and headed quickly for the sanctuary of the far room. Sirius watched him go, still looking slightly worried.

"He'll be all right, won't he?" he asked. "I mean, he sort of looked sick this morning when he got up, but he wouldn't come down to see you. And then he started to look really pale and awful this afternoon in Charms, so ..." he tailed off uncertainly.

I smiled reassuringly. "He'll be fine. I'll keep him here till he's well enough to go back to classes. Maybe you could make a note of any homework assignments for him, so he can catch up later."

"Sure!" Sirius grinned in relief. "James and I'll look after that!" And he departed happily, swinging Remus' bag.

Remus was lying on the bed, propped up on the pillows. He hadn't undressed, just removed his black robes and shoes. His eyes were closed, but he opened them as I bent over him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. "It was kind of Sirius to bring you down, wasn't it?"

"They didn't need to fuss over me like that. I was all right - I was going to come down later." Remus sounded grumpy.

Well, I'd dealt with patients like that before. Particularly boys. "Remus Lupin, I'll have none of that!" I said firmly. "You're very lucky your friends are concerned about you. At least this time they'll just think you've been sick." I saw the look on his face. "Yes Remus - FRIENDS. People who like you enough to get worried when they think you're sick."

Shyness was one thing. But I was not going to allow him to reject the well-meaning actions of his classmates like that. Particularly a couple of fun-loving boys who might be just the sort of friends he needed. To his credit, Remus looked ashamed.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'm ... I'm not used to that sort of thing. Sirius and James - I do like them. And I know they were only trying to help."

"Of course they were. They seem like nice boys and I'm glad you get on with them. Now ..." I let my voice soften, "... there's a few hours left before moonrise so why don't you rest quietly - you can get into bed if you like." I checked him quickly - he seemed slightly hot and his pulse was a bit fast, but according to Gwen's notes, that was normal at this time. He declined anything to eat or drink except a glass of water, and I left him resting.

Moonrise was just after seven, so I had time to finish evening clinic. When the last student left and I went to his room again, I found Remus pacing restlessly up and down. His eyes were very bright, but he was paler than ever.

"Madam Pomfrey?" He sounded worried.

"Remus, I'm here now - calm down. We have plenty of time to get there." I spoke firmly, taking him by the shoulders and pushing him down to sit on the edge of the bed. "Now - what are you going to wear? Are they your old robes?" I knew that he would tear and rip any clothing during the transformation - Gwen said she'd given him some old clothes that could be mended.

"No." He looked miserable. "I didn't have time to go up and get them - Sirius insisted on bringing me straight down here from class." Already alarmed by his friend's well-meaning concern, this one small thing out of order had clearly agitated him further. He swallowed, looking embarrassed. "Actually, I don't wear - very much at all. I mean, things get torn about - so at home - I just wear an old shirt or something."

I patted his shoulder reassuringly. It might be a good idea if he kept those clothes down in the hospital wing in future. "Never mind. I've got some things here for emergencies - now, let me see ... " I rummaged in a cupboard and found a large blue shirt, rather worse for wear, and a very worn set of school robes. No spare trousers though, other than a pair of pyjama pants.

"There you are. Bit of a mixture, but no one will see, will they." I kept my voice calm and matter-of-fact, though I found I was beginning to feel apprehensive about the night in front of us. Keep calm Poppy, I told myself sternly. No sense both of us getting all upset. Whatever happens, he's just another patient you'll have to heal.

I left him to get changed and went to get a dose of a fairly strong sedative. He'd resumed his pacing by the time I returned.

"Remus. Your mother said she's tried various things to see if they would help you stay calm and not hurt yourself - that right?"

He nodded. "They don't work. Nothing works."

"Do you want to try something of mine? I've got something here that's a bit stronger - it might help you." He looked at me almost despairingly, then shook his head again.

"No, Madam Pomfrey - I don't think anything's going to work. I don't like taking all that stuff anyway. It - it makes me feel awful when I - wake up. Please ... please, no ... I really don't want it." I realised he was quite tense and upset now, the very last thing I wanted.

"That's fine dear, whatever you want to do. Just thought I'd ask you." I smiled gently at him, trying to calm him and not let his agitation affect me. "Now, put your good clothes in the locker beside your bed. You'd better keep your wand to see in the tunnel - I'll bring it back with me and put it here." He nodded again, and I could sense him forcing himself to stand still and not pace again. I glanced at my watch, then went and collected my cloak - best to get him moving. Together we left the wing by the side door.

We slipped down to the willow in the gathering dusk, and he scrambled swiftly into the tunnel as though relieved to be safely out of sight. He walked quickly and several times had to stop and wait for me. My mouth had gone dry, and I felt my own breathing quicken and sound inordinately loud to my ears.

At last we reached the trapdoor, climbed through and stood in the gloomy hallway. Sixteen minutes to moonrise.

"Remus, where do you want to go?" I asked softly. I found my stomach was churning, my own pulse rapid. He said nothing, just looked around, then stooped to remove his shoes and socks and put them beside the trapdoor, before climbing the stairs to the bedroom we'd sat in that night. He walked to the middle of the room and turned to face me, holding out his wand.

"Here, Madam Pomfrey." His voice was almost unnaturally calm. I put the wand in my pocket. "You'd better go now - it's getting very late. Could you take my shoes back please." His eyes had a strange light in them; his voice seemed a little husky.

"Remus." I didn't know what to say, seeing only a lonely boy facing unimaginable pain and horror. He stood there barefoot in his borrowed shirt and pyjama pants, arms folded across his chest as though holding himself in. Our eyes met, then I stepped forward and gave him a sudden swift hug, feeling him shaking. "I'll be right here in the morning for you. I promise, dear."

"Please go! Please. Go now!" He whispered urgently, and I turned abruptly and left him. Down the stairs ... collect shoes and socks ... through the trapdoor. I paused to set the locking charms as Filius had shown us. The tunnel seemed a thousand times longer on the way back, yet when I reached the school it had just gone seven. I put his wand and shoes carefully with his other clothes, then went to my rooms and stood by my sitting room window.

Five minutes later there was a soft knock, and I found Albus Dumbledore at my door. He said nothing, just came quietly to stand beside me and look out at the night. At the full moon which had just risen.

I found myself listening fearfully. Would I hear him? Would I hear screams or wolf howls? What was he going through? How badly was he going to hurt himself? Remus - that little boy turning into a monster - a raging, murderous beast ...

"Poppy." Albus' voice was very gentle. "There's nothing more we can do tonight. You've done everything you can."

I found that a tear was running down my cheek, a silent tear, like those Remus had shed only a fortnight ago. I thought of Gwen's words when we first met, how it must have been for her and Edmund with their own son going through this.

Albus patted my hand gently. "Come up and have some supper with me, Poppy. I know you missed dinner. And you'll need your strength for the morning."

There was such kindness and understanding in his voice that I had no thought of refusing. His company was as soothing as always, and it was past ten o'clock before I returned to my rooms.

*

I'd set my alarm for moon set: by the time I'd dressed and reached the Shack, Remus should have transformed back. But I couldn't sleep at all, tossing and turning and imagining I could hear him. Finally I got up and went to my desk - if I couldn't sleep, maybe I should catch up on a few files and reports. Yet I couldn't really concentrate on those either, and ended up putting them away in case I wrote something completely idiotic. In desperation I lay on my bed and listened to the radio - some stupid sort of quiz show called "Night Knuts" in which the contestants only served to demonstrate abysmal ignorance on every conceivable topic.

I must have dozed off slightly, for the alarm's raucous shriek - "WAKE UP POPPY - YOUR PATIENTS ARE DYING" - made me jump. I dressed hastily, grabbing an extra cloak and some hospital slippers as I headed for the door. I had no idea what I would find - I only hoped Remus could walk, as I would have no chance of getting him out of the tunnel on a stretcher.

The castle was in darkness as I made my way to the willow, and I almost got thumped by one of its branches before I could hit the knot. The tunnel's silence was somehow ominous. I reached the trapdoor, holding my wand up to peer through the small window. I couldn't see anything, so I listened carefully. Nothing.

I felt a surge of panic. Where was he? What was he? Should I go in - was it safe now? I put my ear to the door again.

And then I heard it, a soft moan, a sobbing whimper. Not a wolf - a child in pain.

Swiftly I removed the locking charms, pushed open the trapdoor and climbed into the Shack. I raised my wand so it could shine its light across the room to the hallway and the foot of the stairs. The sounds came again from the next room.

I found him in a heap on the floor near the pieces of an old chair. He was sprawled face down, naked, looking as though he'd tried to rise and had then collapsed again. There was blood all over him, through his hair, over his face, his hands, his legs and body; there was a pool of blood on the floor beyond him and smears of red on the remains of the chair. His shirt was tangled in a heap across the room.

"Remus! Remus, dear!" As I knelt beside him I could see claw marks on the walls and window frame, deep scratches in the table legs. I felt ill. He'd done this - Remus had done all this, to the room, to himself ...

He raised his head and looked at me, confused, bewildered, in pain. I took a deep breath and willed myself to become calm and treat him as I would any other patient.

Even Gwen's descriptions had not truly prepared me for the horror of his injuries, the sense of mindless rage evidenced by the blood and the cuts and the slashes, the claw marks and damage to the shed and its furniture. And that was only what I could see in this room. Somehow I didn't want to think about what might be upstairs.

I smoothed the blood-streaked hair back from his face, and spoke gently to him as I eased him onto his back and began to check his wounds, making myself focus and become clinical. The deep gashes to his left arm and leg and his chest looked nasty, and his hands were a mess; but I managed to halt the bleeding and do some emergency healing. Then in quick succession I murmured spells to ease his pain, clean away as much of the blood as possible and bandage the deepest gashes.

By the time I'd finished he was looking up at me with some sort of recognition in his eyes. "Madam ... Pomfrey?" It came out in a faint, hoarse whisper. Well, at least he knew who I was. I wondered what else he remembered.

"Yes dear, I'm here. Everything's going to be all right. You've had a pretty bad night, haven't you." And that was some understatement. "Now, can you sit up a bit?" I put my arm round his shoulders and helped him sit up so he was leaning against me. I reached for the cloak I'd brought, wrapping it round him as gently as I could, and waited till he seemed a little steadier.

"Remus. Can you walk a little bit? I can put you on a stretcher once we're through the trapdoor, but we need to get you to the tunnel. Here - let me put these on for you." I eased the slippers onto his bloodstained feet.

"I ... I can ... manage." Somehow we reached the trapdoor and climbed through, then I conjured a stretcher for him and we proceeded slowly back along the tunnel. By the time we reached the willow he assured me he could walk: still wrapped in my cloak, I half carried, half guided him over to the side door and into the hospital wing. He collapsed onto the bed in the isolation room.

I gave him a dose of Torpus Potion, then helped him drink a glass of water, which he swallowed thirstily. He lay back quietly after that and I set to work: even with magic, healing takes time, and it took me almost an hour to treat all his wounds properly. The calm surroundings of the hospital somehow made his injuries all the more appalling; it was almost impossible to believe they were self-inflicted. I found there were no broken bones, but the deep cuts on his chest and left leg needed careful attention. His hands were a real mess, and would take several days to heal properly.

At last I was satisfied there was nothing more I could do for his injuries at present. He'd lost a lot of blood, so I settled him against the pillows and made him swallow a large dose of Rubus Remedy, before leaving him sipping some herbal tea. With his heavily bandaged hands he could barely manage to hold the mug.

I looked down at my robes as I left his room, becoming aware for the first time of the dried blood caked and smeared down the front, mingled with grime from the Shack. Hastily I went to change; morning clinic was due to start shortly and I was in no fit state to greet anyone. Fortunately clinic was not busy and I managed to slip away to check Remus.

He'd finished the tea and was lying back against the pillows, eyes closed, looking very small and frail under the crisp white sheets. His cheeks were bloodless, and his face seemed to be nothing but deep shadows and hollows. The scratches on his cheek stood out starkly. But he was breathing steadily and his pulse was surprisingly strong. Sleep was what he needed now - deep, healing sleep. He swallowed a full dose of Morpheus Mixture without protest, then I drew the curtains tightly across the window and closed the door. With any luck he would sleep for most of the day.

I thought I'd dealt with the last clinic patient before breakfast, but when I checked the waiting area again I saw two figures standing a little self-consciously at the door. Sirius Black and James Potter.

"Good morning, Mr Black," I greeted him. "And you, I suppose, must be Mr James Potter." They nodded.

"Morning, Madam Pomfrey," Sirius responded. "We were just wondering - I mean, is Remus OK?"

'Well, he's asleep now," I said calmly. "Unfortunately he had a very bad night, but he's a little better now. He'll be in here for a while yet." All of which was absolutely true, I reflected. They looked at each other in concern.

"Can we see him - later I mean?" asked James

"Certainly not today, I'm afraid," I said firmly. Remus would definitely not want them to see him with all his bandages. "He needs complete quiet, no visitors at all. But I'll tell him you called in. It was kind of you to think of him." I smiled at them then - they might be a handful for their teachers, but their hearts were in the right place and I felt warmed at their obvious concern for Remus. "Now off you go - I'd hate you to miss breakfast!"

"So would I!" said James, grinning. "C'mon Sirius. I'm starving."

"Thanks Madam Pomfrey - 'bye." Sirius gave James a playful punch and they disappeared in the direction of the Great Hall.

*

I ate lunch in my office, unwilling to leave the hospital wing in case Remus woke early and was disoriented, but he slept until four. I'd finished tending a broken arm sustained by a first year Ravenclaw girl (confused when one of the trick staircases shifted suddenly, she'd tried to jump to a nearby landing) and tiptoed in to check him yet again. He didn't appear to have moved, but his eyes opened when he heard me, and he moved his head slightly.

"Hello, dear. How are you feeling?" I sat down gently on the edge of his bed. "It's late afternoon - you've had a good sleep."

He didn't answer at first, just looked at me in a sleepy, slightly puzzled way. I reached up to touch his cheek and brush the hair back from his face. His skin was cool and his colour was slightly better. "Are you thirsty - would you like something to drink?"

A slight nod. His eyes were more focused and aware now.

"What would you like, Remus - water, pumpkin juice, milk, some more tea ...?"

"Milk please." It was a faint whisper.

"I could make that chocolate flavoured milk." I saw him try to smile. "Right then, chocolate milk it is!"

He drank two large glasses, after which I dressed his wounds and re-bandaged his hands, chest and leg. He was healing much better than I'd hoped, and admitted he was hungry. While I dealt with evening clinic I left him tucking into a large mug of chicken and vegetable soup (he was unable to manage a spoon properly), with slices of fresh bread and butter. Before I went down to the Hall for my own dinner I broke a large bar of chocolate into pieces and he was soon munching happily at his "dessert".

I decided not to tell him about Sirius and James just yet. He'd been clearly apprehensive about their "fussing" yesterday, and I didn't want to upset him again. So that evening I tucked him in and left him in peace after giving him some more Morpheus Mixture, and we both slept well that night.

I was surprised to see how much he'd improved by morning: I was able to reduce the bandages on his hands, so he could eat properly. There was no sign of the two boys, so I assumed they'd taken the hint and would probably not call in till the evening.

As I feared, Remus became extremely anxious when I mentioned their visit. "Please, Madam Pomfrey - I don't want to see them like this! Please don't let them come in! They mustn't see me!"

"Of course not, dear! I told them no visitors ..." he looked very relieved, "... but they were just concerned about you. You know Remus, once we get these bandages off your hands, it wouldn't hurt to let them in for a few moments if they do come down. Why don't you think about it - I told them you've been very sick, so they're not going to suspect anything."

"My hands will look all red anyway. They'll know." Worried and obstinate.

"My dear boy, if they notice anything at all, you tell them you came up in a dreadful rash as part of your illness. They'll probably just be glad to say hello and see you're recovering. Now - are you going to go back to sleep or will I get you a book to read?" He opted for the book, but half an hour later I found he'd dozed off again.

Sure enough, James and Sirius were back that afternoon, and Remus agreed to let them in "for just a few minutes only." They came shyly into his room, hesitant in the face of illness, and sat awkwardly on chairs next to his bed. I heard them talking about their Potions lesson - one of them mentioned "those stupid Slytherins!" which was followed by laughter - but true to my word I shooed them out after five minutes. I assured them that Remus would be out of hospital "soon" and they departed happily. Remus looked more cheerful, and I was glad I'd encouraged their visit.

The next day was Saturday, and they came to see him again in the afternoon. As Remus' wounds had healed very well, I said he could return to the dormitory after dinner, on the strict understanding that he would go straight to bed and rest, and would take things very quietly on Sunday. James and Sirius promised they'd look after him, and later that evening I watched them escort him out the door, one either side as if to protect him from banging into things.

*

I wrote to Gwen and Edmund that evening, assuring them that Remus was fine. The transformation had clearly been a difficult one, I wrote, but "I hope the next ones will be a little easier, now he is more settled and has been through it here for the first time." I debated whether to tell them about James and Sirius, and their concern for Remus. Would Remus tell them? Despite Minerva's views about him taking up with her pair of "handfuls", I thought Remus could do a lot worse than learn to have some fun. I decided to mention it briefly.

"He seems to be settling in with the others in his class," I wrote, "particularly the three from his dormitory. From the little I've seen and heard, I rather like Black and Potter. It would be nice if he became friends with them. I understand his fear about others finding out, but I hope he won't let it stop him making friends and enjoying himself."

Well, I thought, I'd see how things worked out. And maybe Gwen and Edmund could offer their own encouragement.

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