The Darkness

The Darkness

Chapter Four ~ Disillusion

Loneliness is a pow'r that we possess to give or take away forever.
All I know can be shown by your acceptance of the fact there shown before you.
Take what I say in a diff'rent way and it's easy to see that this is all confusion.
As I see a new day in me, I can also show if you and you may follow.

~ Yes (Starship Trooper)

~*~

~~~The grass was green and the stands were full of cheering fans when Harry Potter walked onto the Pitch, his Firebolt in his hand and his scarlet Gryffindor uniform on his back. He straddled the broom and pushed off the ground. He circled the field and flew up high, waiting for Madam Hooch to start the match.

In his head, he sang a song, something he did to keep his concentration.

I've got to get the Snitch; I've got to get the Snitch.

I'm flying 'round the Pitch and I've really got an itch.

Draco Malfoy's really rich but his mother is a bitch....

Malfoy swooped by and yelled, "Yeah I'll throw you in a ditch and I'll beat you till you twitch!"

Harry watched after him thinking how odd it was that Draco knew the words to his song. He also thought it was odd that Draco hadn't bothered to wear his uniform, or anything else for that matter.

He watched as the blonde sped away, admiring his muscular back and nice tight...

"Harry," a voice called.

He ignored it, Malfoy's pale skin almost glowed and Harry found it quite hypnotizing.

"Harry!"

He startled and turned to see Ginny sitting on a pumpkin behind Hagrid's Hut. He found that he was no longer flying so he walked over to her and noticed that she looked angry with him. He honestly wasn't all that surprised.

"Gin, what are you doing back here? Aren't you supposed to still be in Karnak?" He said, approaching her slowly.

Her scowl changed to a soft smile. "I was, but you needed me so I came back."

Harry watched her, slightly confused. "But I've needed you before and you didn't come. I waited and you didn't come. Where were you?"

Ginny stood up and stamped her foot on the ground. "I knew it. You don't love me. I sacrificed my happiness for you and that ruddy farm and you don't love me." She turned away from him; her shoulders shook as if she was crying.

"No, Gin. Don't cry. I'm such a jerk, I'm so sorry." He reached a hand out to touch her shoulder but instead she rounded on him, fire in her eyes.

"Harry James Potter, how dare you!" she spat.

Harry took a step back from her small, angry form. "Wha--what?"

She pointed toward the castle, to the Astronomy Tower. Harry turned to see and watched as a now fully clothed Draco Malfoy sat on the edge of the demi-wall and pitched stones off the side.

"Malfoy, you let him take care of you. You let him help you forget me, you selfish prat!" Her voice was choked with sobs, yet when Harry faced her, there were no tears.

"But Gin, he made see that I can't..." he broke off as her angry voice interrupted.

"That you can't be a real man and realize that I'm dead because of you!" Her light brown eyes were burning with anger. Then her visage changed and she smiled at him. "It's okay Harry, I know you love me. I know you'll do anything I ask of you." She smiled brighter and looked back over his shoulder to the tower. "The choice is yours Harry..."

He turned to see Draco standing on the demi-wall and stepping off the side. Harry spared Ginny a glance, barely noticing that she was no longer there. He ran to the castle, Draco was falling and he needed to catch him. He ran and it seemed like he would almost make it. "No!" he screamed, as Draco hit the earth just a second before Harry made it to his side. He pulled the broken body close and felt tears well up. Somewhere, someone was screaming and he could hear his name being called.

"Harry..."

Draco was dead, Harry couldn't handle this. He could feel the warmth ebbing away from his lifeless form.~~~

"Harry, wake up!"

His eyes shot open, it was Draco, shaking him awake and he realized the screaming was coming from his own mouth. He stopped and stared into concerned silver eyes.

"Are you okay, Harry? You were screaming," said Draco, smoothing sweaty raven locks out of Harry's eyes.

"Bad dream," he croaked, his throat was sore. Reaching over, he took a sip from the glass of water beside his bed.

Draco sighed and settled back down, wrapping an arm around the raven-haired man and pulling him close.

Harry's eyes went wide as he felt the blonde beside him. "Draco?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"You do know this is my bed?"

"Mhmm."

"Okay," he whispered, allowing sleep to claim him again. The rest of the night was dreamless.

~*~

That morning, Draco woke up in Potter's bed. He looked over to his own and it was empty. He sat up and stretched, scratching his stomach. He could hear the shower running in the other room so he decided to creep downstairs and make some coffee.

Draco thought of how wonderful it was that he'd be able to return to New York. Things went smoother than he'd thought they would and Harry had improved so much over the past week. He still had nightmares, but Draco assumed that that was to be expected.

As he trudged across the sun warmed stone floor, he smiled to himself. I'll go home and never return. Oh but I should visit mother, not that she'd know it was me. Narcissa Malfoy had protected Draco and his choices, she refused to tell her husband the location of their son so he hit her with enough Cruciatus Curses that her mind slipped away and she spent her days keeping company with Longbottom's parents.

He entered the small kitchen to find that Dobby had brought them breakfast. "I knew I liked that house-elf," he smiled, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He closed his eyes as he felt the life giving caffeine course thru his veins. "Mmmmm," he moaned, pleasurably. He was a happy man, Potter was cured and he was going home to resume his life of solitude. He hoped he hadn't upset Donna too badly. "I'll phone her later, before I head home," he said, out-loud.

As he crossed the room to go get changed, he spotted his art supplies that leaned against the wall. He had asked Dobby to fetch him a few things he'd need and the house-elf had delivered. The stretched canvas' and easel leaned almost seductively against the stone wall. "Oh bugger!" He walked over and placed his coffee mug on the sill and then proceeded to set up his art supplies beside the window. Sitting down in front of the blank canvas, he pulled the coffee back to his lips as he gazed at the beautiful Scottish landscape before him. He leaned back and let his mind wander, which, he found, was the best way for inspiration to hit. From this height Draco could see the Forbidden Forest and the far corner of the Quidditch pitch. Draco found it to be ironic that his view only granted him the view of the Slytherin and Gryffindor flags.

Then it struck him, he would paint his memories, both good and bad. He prepared his palette and lifted his paintbrush, then leaned back against his canvas chair and continued to sip his coffee while he waited for the canvas to call to him, to tell him where to begin.

He was so intent on his work; he did not hear his room mate enter the room.

~*~

Harry woke before Draco. He could feel the warmth still radiating off the blonde figure beside him and he flinched. Malfoy is in my bed. Malfoy is in my bed with his arm slung across my chest and his face buried in my neck. This is sick. Yet, he didn't move. He knew that his friend had only been trying to console him, to take away his nightmare. And why the bloody hell was I dreaming of Draco? Would I really be that broken if he died? He couldn't allow himself to answer that. It was most likely a god-send that he couldn't remember the dream before Ginny's appearance.

Slowly, he removed his person from the bed and gathered his belongings for a shower. Casting a final glance back at the spread-eagle and snoring none too elegantly, Malfoy, he entered the bathroom and started the water.

The steamy heat was wonderful and the water running over his sore tense muscles felt brilliant. He let his mind wander as he tried to make sense of his life.

Fact: Ginny was dead.

Fact: He'd gone round the bend for a bit, but remembered everything.

Fact: Draco came to help him.

Fact: He came back.

"Is he going to leave, again?" he asked the misty air. He knew he had to do something about the ranch in New Zealand. There was no way he could return to that house. He'd need to find a place to live and maybe get a job so he didn't go insane. "I wonder if the Ministry still needs advisors. Nah," he wrinkled his nose, "I'd sooner take Advanced Potions naked before I worked for the Ministry." He smiled; it was something he didn't know he could still do.

Tears suddenly burst from his eyes as he thought of Ginny. "I'm so sorry."

After spending an inordinate amount of time of time in the shower, he descended the stairs that led to the living room. He was dressed in loose jeans and an old rugby shirt, his hair as messy as ever. He was wiping his glasses on his shirt when he walked off the last step and stopped short.

He placed his glasses on his face and couldn't suppress a smile. Draco was sitting in a director's chair and was staring thoughtfully at a white canvas. He was still in his tan draw-string pajama bottoms with the matching shirt unbuttoned and draped back, exposing his chest. One leg was propped up on a box and he had a mug in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. The morning sunlight shone thru Draco's hair making it glow. Harry almost wished he had the ability to paint so he could preserve that expression of peace that Draco wore on his face.

Instead he coughed and walked toward the kitchen.

Draco startled, "Potter, you sneaky berk, don't do that!" He gave Harry a glare. "If you scare me when I'm lost in thought, I could die."

Harry walked back into the living room with a plate of eggs and toast and called over his shoulder. "Die? Is that a tease Malfoy? 'Cause I may need to test that theory."

Rolling his eyes Draco put down his brush, he'd come back later when Wonder-boy wasn't so chatty. He walked over and sat across from him, pulling his feet up underneath his body. "I'll have you know, if you frighten someone who is so deep in thought, you could kill them. It's a fact. I've seen it happen."

Chuckling, Harry asked, "Who did you see get frightened to death?"

Draco smiled smugly, "Some guy, you wouldn't know him." He saw the expression on Harry's face and continued, "You'd be sickened and surprised by what I've seen. I'm a Malfoy; we are a family steeped in Dark Arts."

"So this bloke was tortured?"

"Well there was the one that they made read thick tomes on Muggle history and then set a lethifold on him. It scared him so badly he died." Draco spoke into his coffee cup and then smiled, "There was that fellow that my father tortured with Muggle music."

Harry furrowed his brow. "The guy died from Muggle music?"

"Please pay attention, Potter. It's a simple concept: I talk and you use those holes on the side of your head to hear the words and then that gelatinous thing between the holes processes the information. It was Muggle music, isn't that enough?" He locked eyes with Harry, enjoying the shocked expression on the man's face.

"I understand that Muggle music was involved, you berk. What I don't get was how anyone could die from Muggle music." He was beginning to get highly annoyed with this conversation. "Haven't you lived with Muggles all these years? I can't believe you still feel this way." He could feel his anger rising, Malfoy hasn't changed at all, the ruddy bastard!

Draco could sense this and stood up, smiling. "Yes, I have lived with Muggles and I personally enjoy most of their music, but even I'd die of fright if I had to sit and listen to Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner sing duets of old disco tunes. You haven't been tortured till you've heard that pair sing Boogie Shoes." Without a glance back he headed upstairs to shower and dress.

Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes and agree. The prospect of that torture was scary. He finished his breakfast and then scribbled Draco a note telling him that he was off to see Dumbledore.

He left the room and headed down to the Great Hall. On the way he met up with Snape and his daughter.

She ran over and jumped into his arms. "Uncle Harry! How are you? Are you better?" She stopped and lowered her head, "I'm sorry, Da said I shouldn't talk about it 'cause it will make you sad."

Harry smiled and hugged the eight year old. "Miss Rose, you look as lovely as ever. Don't worry love, it's okay." He kissed her cheek and put her down on the ground. "But you should mind your father. He's a smart man." He gave Snape a wink.

The dark man only narrowed his eyes. "Come Rose, leave Potter to his wanderings. You have lessons with Mrs. Weasley this morning and it isn't good to be late."

"Yes Da. Bye, Uncle Harry. Maybe later you can take me flying?" The precocious little girl beamed.

Severus suppressed a smile; Rose was so much like her mother. When his daughter looked for his approval, he nodded.

Harry watched the exchange and smiled. Julia would have been proud of her daughter, especially her ability to wrap her father around her little finger. "How about tomorrow, since it's Saturday." He then caught Snape's eye and added, "I'll stop by to pick her up in the morning, if that is okay with you, sir."

"Very good," Snape said, walking away and heading down the hall. Though many things had changed thru the years, Severus Snape refused to become a gushing fan of the Wonder-boy. Instead, he maintained his sober persona and raised his daughter in peace. He would never admit that he may actually consider Potter to be someone special, but only because Julia and Rose saw him as such. To him, he'd always be that boy who could do no wrong and make his life hell.

"Yay!" Rose exclaimed as she rushed after her father's flowing black robes and disappeared around a corner.

Harry turned back to his mission of finding Albus and soon found himself in the Great Hall.

~*~

Draco had resumed his spot by the window with a fresh cup of coffee and a bowl of fruit. He had finally begun to paint and the images were flowing from his mind like water. He felt an inspiration in this castle that he hadn't felt in a few years. His last collection, the one currently being promoted, was not his favorite. Draco felt that he had forced those pieces from his soul and that they were incomplete and did not speak of who he was. The way he felt at the moment was truly amazing and he realized he'd have to speak to Dumbledore and ask if he could stay longer than their original agreement.

He was lost in the world he was creating when he heard a knock at the door. "The door's unlocked, Potter," he called over his shoulder and then whispered, "Idiot."

Someone knocked again so he stood up, cursing under his breath. He opened the door and was bowled down by a strong form with curly dark hair. The two hit the stone floor and Draco yelled, "Zabini, you freak! Get off!" He pushed the man off of his body.

Blaise rolled over onto his side and leaned his hand against his jaw. "Come now Draco, you know you want me." His red lips curling into a delicious smile. "Pansy, he's still in denial!" He called to the door.

The blonde woman with long legs walked in. Pansy Parkinson wasn't much to look at when they were in school and even now you couldn't call her drop dead gorgeous, but she had a presence. Her pleated skirt was too short and her button down silk blouse was too tight, both black. The strappy black shoes she wore made her legs look amazing. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, her lips were red and she had too much kohl around her eyes, but she looked to die for.

She sauntered over to the sofa and perched herself upon it. "Drakey, just fuck him so we can get on with our lives."

Draco walked over to his best friend and kissed her cheek. "You suck dick with that mouth?" he snorted and sat beside her.

"Only yours, if I could get close enough." She retorted and laughed, her voice was low and husky for a woman, but it made her even more desirable.

"Why is it a girl as pretty as you is friends with two guys who obviously don't fancy girls?" Blaise asked from the floor.

She smirked and laughed again. "Believe it or not, I don't like women either, bitches." Casually glancing at her perfectly French-manicured nails she added, "Besides, you two are bitchy enough without female competition."

At that Draco and Blaise glanced at each other and gave a silent nod, Draco motioning to the stairs behind him. Simultaneously, they jumped up and grabbed the blonde woman and ran up to the room that Draco shared with Harry, landing hard one of the beds. Blaise went for her shoes as he kicked his own off. Once the offending footwear had been shed, they all jumped under the blankets, giggling.

Pansy was in the middle, Draco on the right and Blaise on the left. They hadn't done this since they were in school together, well before Draco had left for Manhattan. This was the first time they had seen each other in well over a year.

Snuggling between her boys, Pansy remarked, "This is nice. I forgot how well I fit between the flamers. Just my luck, I've slept with the two hottest boys from Slytherin since I was thirteen and they are both gay. No wonder I've become a tart, if you guys would put out then maybe I'd settle down."

Blaise feigned insult, "Who said I was gay? That's slander!"

Draco leaned up on his elbow, "Zabini, you are the gayest gay that's ever nancied across a stage...OUCH!" Draco cried, rubbing his arse. "What was that for, Parkinson?"

"For teasing Blaise and for not telling us you were back in the U.K.? Were you avoiding us? If I hadn't seen Granger when I was out shopping the other day, I still wouldn't have known," she said, rubbing the spot on his rear where she had cracked him.

Draco swallowed, "That's because I didn't really want it to be known. Don't want..."

"...Lucius to know." The other two finished. They cuddled together tighter. The three of them had seen what Malfoy senior was capable of and didn't want to have to live thru that again. Pansy hugged Draco and kissed his cheek. "I know, love."

"Hey where's mine?" Blaise protested.

"You'll get yours when your life is as pathetic as Drakey's." she said, smugly. Then turning back to Draco she continued, "Speaking of pathetic, have you got anyone special in your life, baby? I know you were pining over The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Marry-That-Vulture...I can't believe no one saw who she really was. I can't say I was sorry to hear she's dead." If anything, Pansy Parkinson didn't mince words.

Draco winced, "Pansy, could you use some tact? Merlin! The man's wife was killed."

"Your point? So, now he is free and you can move in..." She retorted while Blaise burst into giggles behind her.

"Shove off, you two. What am I supposed to do? Say, 'I know you are in mourning Harry, but I want to shag you till you can't walk and love you for eternity.' Oh that would..." he was cut off by a chorus of moans.

"You love him?" Blaise lamented. "Love, Draco? Didn't I teach you anything?"

Draco remained straight faced, "I didn't say I loved him and no, frankly you taught me shit, Blaise. As I recall it, I was the one offering you the shoulder to weep upon when...what was his name...Terry Boot...turned you down." He sneered, "What was it he said? Slytherin is the worst kind of filth and he wouldn't touch you if you were the last man standing in a room full of women."

Pansy chimed in, "Didn't he say he would sooner turn straight then date a Slytherin?" She snorted and burst into gales of laughter.

Blaise tickled her as he said, "Piss off! I heard that Justin Finch-Fletchly said the same to you."

"Ewww, he's a Mud-Blood, Pansy...and a Hufflepuff. You must have been slumming." Draco said, poking her other side.

She was in tears from laughing so hard. "Mercy! Mercy! Uncle! I give!"

They all settled down and resumed their snuggling. It was silent for a little bit, then Draco spoke. "Do you really think I love him?"

"Draco Malfoy, are you that thick? Come on, half your artwork has some form of him running thru it, you're obsessed." Zabini said, flatly.

"I don't love him, you're both delusional. " Draco snapped, pulling the duvet over his head.

Pansy spoke softly, "No, Drakey it's you that are slowly becoming disillusioned. Soon you will see who you have loved since we were all in seventh form together. I remember the stares in class and the walks by the lake. For someone that you hated, you became inseparable and love, Blaise and I aren't thick like Granger and the Weasel."

Draco went totally silent. He would neither deny nor confirm his feelings because he wasn't exactly sure of them himself. He did know he cared, but he also knew he would never tell Harry that.

Pansy reached up with her hands and took both boys by the face and kissed their cheeks.

"Hey, what was that for?" Zabini asked.

"'Cause I love you guys." She smiled at the ceiling as she felt both boys reach over and kiss her on her cheeks.

"Pansy, you know we love you too, girl." Blaise commented and grabbed Draco's hand. "Right, man."

Draco smiled at his two best friends. Yes, he loved them, how could he not. They were the only three Slytherin in their class to escape being Death Eaters, they had been thru hell and back, he would die for them. "Damn, straight." He squeezed Blaise's hand and closed his eyes. Draco hadn't realized how lonely his life had become and was so happy to be surrounded by the ones he cared about.

Even though he had only just woken up a couple hours ago, he could sleep again, in this bed with his Slytherin family.

~*~

Harry stood at the open door, watching the three in his bed. He had spoken with Dumbledore and asked if he could stay in the castle for a bit longer while he sorted out his life. Dumbledore had agreed and he had given him a note for Draco. Harry had run back to their chambers to deliver the message.

Watching the trio, he suddenly felt cold.

He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. They were Draco's best friends and he knew how close he was to Ron and Hermione. But that didn't help the jealousy that began to gnaw at his stomach. That and the words, 'Do you really think I love him?' that Draco spoke made him feel ill. Who? Who did Draco love?

He turned on his heel and headed to the fireplace and floo'ed to Diagon Alley. He needed to be away from Draco and his friends. He didn't hear the rest of the conversation.

And why did it bother him so damn much? He shouldn't care who Draco loved! Malfoy deserved happiness just as much as anyone else. He surely couldn't expect Draco to be the swinging single forever. No, Harry would be happy for his friend's new love. He would celebrate with him and support him.

He would be happy if it killed him, it wasn't as if he liked Draco like that.

Then why the hell did it hurt so much...