Theory

Chapter Four - "I can't be..."

It could have been the first time ever that Harry had kept a clear head during Divinations. It was a stormy autumn day and the class had been instructed to go out onto the grounds to examine "the unique way the last leaves were tumbling down", thus escaping the heavily perfumed tower room. They were supposed to watch a certain tree and describe the fall of the leaves. Professor Trelawney had excused herself, saying that she would only unwillingly descend from her tower.

"But I'm keeping an eye on you through my orb," Ron echoed in his best imitation of the professor's misty voice, "Crap! As if that thing ever displays anything else but fog!" He sat down on the ground, leaning at a trunk. "How are you supposed to describe the fall of a leaf anyway?"

"Dunno," Harry answered, sitting down next to his best friend, "Maybe she wants poetry."

"Poetry?"

"'The unique way of leaves tumbling down,' sounds like poetry to me," Harry replied. He took out both quill and parchment, miraculously truly willing to accomplish the silly task, while Ron shrugged and got his enchanted birthday gift walkman out of his bag.

Maybe they sat under the wrong tree. No leaves were falling. Harry's view trailed across the ground and his would-be once in a lifetime opportunity to 'keep a clear head during Divinations' was gone the second his eyes settled.

Theo stood, leaning against a tree, a piece of paper in his hands. Harry added this to the pieces of evidence he so far had sampled for Theo being either Half-blood or Muggle-born. He had to ask the boy about his home and family one day soon. He vaguely remembered him having said something about it before, but...

The boy was obviously reading something. Harry saw his lips move slightly. A leaf tumbled to the ground in front of Harry's feet. Theo took quite a while to read this single page. Perhaps he was learning it by heart.

"Got that?" Harry startled as Ron pulled him out of his reverie.

"Pardon?"

"Got that?" Ron repeated unhelpfully.

"What?"

"The leaf," Ron said. "You've missed your chance for perfect poetry." He shrugged, then looked over at Theo. "Why are you staring at him?"

Harry's head whipped around. "I'm not staring!"

"Yes, you are," Ron said lightly. Then he narrowed his eyes, looking closer at the other boy some distance away from him. "You know...," he mused, "He's quite handsome actually. Almost... pretty in a way, don't you think?"

Harry shrugged and looked over at Theo again. "Never thought about it."

"Well, normally you should be able to tell whether someone is good-looking or not without really having to think about it," Ron stated, then added in a teasing undertone, "Especially since you have been staring at him for quite a while."

"Maybe," Harry said somewhat absentmindedly, Ron's teasing failing him completely.

"Maybe what?" Ron asked feeling slightly irritated. Harry's manner was a bit strenuous.

"Maybe I should be able to tell whether someone is good-looking or not," Harry replied. "But you normally don't look at boys in those terms."

"Why not? I can tell whether someone is handsome, even with boys," Ron said frankly. Harry gave his friend a slightly wondering look, receiving a shrug by means of answering. Then he turned to look at Theo again, who had by now turned over the next page. A leaf fell to the ground in front of Harry. Ron watched it fall and then gave his friend a curious look, wondering slightly about his obliviousness.

"And?" he asked eventually.

"And what?"

"What do you think about his looks?"

Harry looked over at the topic of their conversation for one more moment. "He is quite handsome, I guess," he answered nonchalantly.

***

The library became chilly. Talitha felt cold - cold with the atmosphere, cold with fatigue. She wanted to finish this essay, but Draco Malfoy had the only copy of the book that would provide her with the last piece of information she needed to finish it. It wasn't as if she didn't like to ask him for it, but he looked so absorbed with what he did at the moment, the open book lying next to him, that Talitha didn't want to interrupt him.

She got along with Draco fairly well. In a strange way he was a loner like herself, who preferred the presence of only a few selected. For some precious hours, Theo had been one of his selected few. Somehow the two of them had clicked, realising that they were in a way alike. Draco had told him about how he came to abandon his father's beliefes - or at least most of them, as he liked to emphasise - and how people treated him in the period shortly after this. He had told her about the time, when his studies in the library had been about the only thing to occupy his mind apart from dark thoughts about his family and his former friends and the problems he would have to face now.

And he had told her about the time when he befriended Ron, Harry and Hermione and how this on the one hand had eased his troubles and anxiety, and on the other hand increased all the trouble, for in the eyes of many he had become "the traitor". The traitor to his own people, because he had turned his back on them and went over to the enemy, to whom again he was the traitor, because he had somehow managed to sneak his way in by befriending the Trio. Though most of the Gryffindors had more or less unwillingly accepted him in their midst by now, you could still read a question clearly written on some of their faces, 'When will he turn on us?'

Talitha had listened to all this with keen interest. From then on she had seen Draco in a new light. She could see, for example, why not so much Harry, but Ron and Ginny were his selected ones. She had watched the way he and Ron would sit together in classes. Draco's presence had balanced the Trio even more, though Harry certainly saw this differently. Talitha thought that Harry was sometimes jealous when Ron was with Draco. Nevertheless, for Talitha it was more than obvious that the friendship between Harry and Ron was beyond anything that might require something like jealousy. He and the redhead were best friends and there was probably nothing that was ever going to change it. Ron and Hermione were an item and though Talitha considered the status of a couple an unstable one, their relationship was at least with certainty destined to last on a friendly basis, should the romance cool down one day. Yes, the two of them were also meant for everlasting friendship. And Harry and Hermione... Draco's presence had pushed them further together, although Harry would never admit that. But it definitely had intensified their already strong bonds. The triangle was finally even.

***

"Harry." Hermione's voice disrupted the silence in the empty dormitory like a falling leaf disturbing the still surface of a lake - softly but lastingly. Harry turned his head towards the door and let his thought slip out of the window on whose sill he was sitting.

"May I come in?"

"Course," Harry said, trying to keep the shadows that clouded his mind from his voice. He had wanted to be alone, but...

Hermione entered and came over to Harry, casually picking up one of his hands and lacing her fingers through his. For a moment she looked out of the window.

...but now...

"I missed you downstairs," she said after a while, talking to Harry's reflection in the rain-stained glass.

"Did you now," Harry replied with a half-smile.

Sometimes you want to be alone, just to be found...

"Yes. 'S that so hard to believe?"

"No, I am wonderful," Harry teased.

Hermione, however, didn't answer his teasing, and when she spoke, she did it softly, but on a definitely more serious note that bore traces of concern.

"Why are you hiding up here?" she asked, turning her head to face Harry.

He turned away, looking at her reflection instead. "I'm not hiding."

"Won't you tell me what troubles you?"

"I..." Harry's voice trailed off.

Softly Hermione stoked along Harry's finger tips with her free hand, led his hand up to her lips and kissed them.

"Don't," she said into the silence. "I know what you were about to say but...," and here her voice took on a tone that made her sound as if she had suddenly channelled Harry's dull spirits, "but I know it's not only that. I've become quite used to you like that, but the last few days I could feel something else mounting up in you."

"Hermione," Harry said tonelessly, "You know, you're not supposed to use your gift on me."

"I can't help it. It's just there. I can't help worrying when it comes to you," she said with a warm half-smile, catching his eyes in the window.

"But you won't tell me, will you?" she added as if in an afterthought.

"No, not yet," Harry answered calmly, but firmly.

"Okay, I will try to block your emotions out as best I can then, but Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Remember that you never have to be alone with anything, if you don't choose to." Hermione tightened her hand around Harry's, her fingers curling around it between his fingers, her tips digging softly into his palm for a moment, before she unlaced them, ready to leave.

"You can come down and join us if you like, but I guess the others will soon come upstairs anyway," she said, reaching out for the doorknob. "When I left them Dean was just about to finish the sketches for our Halloween costumes."

Wham! There it was again! Stronger than before!

Harry said nothing, but his mood had shifted so swiftly that it made Hermione's head swirl and her insides froze at what he felt. She felt sick. When she had closed the door behind her and recovered slightly, she tried to be true to her word and block his emotions out as best she could. Slowly the feeling of something cold and hard in her stomach ebbed away. What stayed, however, was the burning curiosity as to what might have triggered that reaction.

***

Talitha had watched Draco for quite a while now and it slowly dawned on her that, as absorbed as he was in his work, he didn't look up at the book at all to seek reference. Surely then she could ask him whether she could have it.

She crossed the fairly empty library and went over to Draco. He didn't immediately notice her presence. Her view trailed onto his parchment. Without intending to read, her eyes skipped over a few loosely linked words, 'too much homework', 'miss', 'locker room', 'waited', 'DaDA', 'Ron, I'. Her eyes snapped away from the parchment the moment the name made her aware of the fact that what she was half-reading was a private letter. Out of the blue Draco rounded on her with fierce eyes. He must have noticed her presence, when she had snapped out off her reading. For a moment his glare really scared her. Instinctively she took a step backwards.

"I... I didn't -" she began, but Draco stood up quickly, closing the distance between them threateningly fast.

"You breathe one word of this and I'll make you feel pain surpassing your fiercest imagination," the Slytherin said, his eyes taking on a shade of stormy grey.

"I wouldn't," Talitha stammered, and it only than dawned on her what she had just read. Draco and... Ron? Her eyes widened inwardly.

Draco narrowed his eyes even more, his iris turning seemingly black. He grabbed Theo by the collar and gave it a sharp tug. "You'd better not." Then he released him and sat back at the desk. Talitha recovered somewhat before taking a seat opposite him.

"Draco?"

"Yes?" He didn't look up.

"You... you didn't need to threaten me or anything. I swear I won't tell anybody. And...," she hesitated, trying to catch his eyes, but the blond just wouldn't allow it. "...apart from the cheating maybe, there's nothing wrong with it anyway."

"I know," he said. And eventually he looked up. "But most other people don't." He placed his quill on the table and looked at her for a moment, before asking, "What did you want?"

"I..." What had she wanted? Ah, yes... "I just need that book," she said.

"Take it then." And his eyes were on the letter again.

Dismissed.

***

"What? He just didn't turn up?"

"Yes, and to Transfigurations moreover!"

"And why?"

"I'm not sure. Nobody is. But word in the hallways has it that, when asked why he didn't turn up, he had the audacity to tell Professor McGonagall that he had simply forgotten about it."

"He must be hiding something...."

"I knew it! I knew he had a secret and I bet it's a romantic one!"

"Did he get detention?"

"Ha. What do you think?!"

"And?"

"As far as I know he has to help the house-elves during the upcoming Halloween party, playing the waiter."

"How embarrassing! I couldn't do that. Just imagine having to serve the Slytherins!"

*murmured* "Well, serving you wouldn't be any better...."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing..."

***

Troll Rights Declaration! For the second week now they were dealing with the Troll Rights Declaration! Even the Tenth Goblin Rebellion, with which they had dealt after dealing with the nine prior ones and which hadn't exactly differed from them in any way hadn't been as amazingly boring as Troll Right Declarations. Even Hermione had the grace to look not the least bit interested, her eyes seemingly fixed on a spot next to the ghost teacher's head, as the notes on her parchment turned into circles of boredom. Two paper flights had already soared through the class room even though they had actually abandoned them sometime during their third year.

Harry wished he had brought his Quidditch notebook with him. He could have used the time to go over his and Ron's new strategies. Ron who sat next to Draco near the front had a lively written conversation with the Slytherin. The two of them were pushing a piece of paper back and forth between them. Harry wondered why they even bothered. They could have just whispered like the rest of the class. Binns didn't seem to notice - or he just didn't want to break his monotony to tell them off. Then a thought occurred to him. Harry cringed inwardly and looked away.

"...Courage has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God which is the secret of religion - these are the two things that govern us. And yet -"

His eyes fell on Theo's empty seat. This was the second class he'd missed. Harry wondered whether he had once more 'forgotten' about it, or whether he'd skipped deliberately. Maybe he was ill.... Which ever way it was, he might be quite lucky this time, because Professor Binns didn't seem to have noticed his absence. Still... Harry wondered what...

As he eventually caught himself staring at Theo's empty seat, he snapped out of his thoughts. He shouldn't be thinking of the boy all the time! What he did was none of his business.

"And yet, I believe that if one man were to live out his life fully and completely, were to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream -"

Hard though to find distraction in Binns' class....

"I believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we would forget all the maladies..."

Eventually Harry took a leaf out of Hermione's book and just began to scribble dreamily onto his parchment, "Fadame de shise Fadamte shize Fadamdeshise"

"No, it had definitely not sounded like just one word...," he murmured.

"Mr. Potter?"

'Maybe even with "e" "r"...'

"But the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The mutilation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial that mars our lives."

"Mr. Potter?"

'Ferdamete shise'

"Harry!" Hermione pulled the parchment away from him. "Look up!" she hissed urgently.

"We are punished for our refusals."

Professor Binns was floating near with a strange look on his translucent face.

"Mr. Potter, could you give me that parchment flight from next to your desk?" For a second Harry looked bewildered and over at Hermione for help. She pointed lazily at the floor with her quilt and sure enough there was a small origami bird lying next to Harry's feet. He picked it up and handed it to Professor Binns. It fell to the ground. Blushing slightly, after this obvious display of his absentmindedness, he picked it up again and brought it to the front to the teacher's desk.

Upon giving Harry his piece of parchment back after class, together with a look of deep disapproval, Hermione glanced briefly onto it and asked, "What's that supposed to mean anyway?"

"Dunno," Harry murmured, looking down at the words. "I think it's some other language, but... I thought maybe you could tell me."

"Let me see it again." Hermione tugged the parchment out of his hands. "You are not sure about the spelling, are you?"

"No, I only heard it."

Hermione began to murmur the words silently under her breath. She had a faint idea about their meaning, yet... "Who said that?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind, and poisons us."

"Theo," Harry answered promptly, and, with realisation dawning on him as suddenly and painfully like a torch being switched on in front of his eyes after venturing through darkness, he felt embarrassment clenching in a painful knot in his stomach.

"Well, let's go and ask him then," Hermione prompted, straight away walking off into the direction of Gryffindor Tower.

"How do you know he'll be there?" Harry asked, catching up with her.

"I don't, but it's our best guess, isn't it?"

And a good guess it was too. Few minutes later they opened the door to the boys' dormitory to find Theo standing in the middle of the room. He, however, was apparently oblivious to their presence.

"It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and in the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also. You Mr. -"

"Oscar Wilde," Hermione said dryly. "I'm impressed."

Theo turned around, his eyes wide with surprise. "Hi... um... how long have you been here?" he asked. Harry could have been wrong, but he had the feeling that for once uncertainty traced the usually cool boy's voice. Harry shuffled his feet and looked down to the floor.

"Since 'It has been said'." Hermione took a few steps forward towards the boy, the parchment still hidden in her hand. "You seem to have many different sides..."

"What do you mean?" Theo sat down onto his bed. Talitha felt a rush of worry. Has she...?

Hermione gave him the piece of parchment.

"Never mind," she said in an almost too casual voice, which made Harry look up at last, tearing his eyes away from the laces of his trainers. "Can you tell me what this means?"

Theo took the paper from her, briefly glancing up at Harry, as if hoping for a hint to what this was all about, but as soon as his eyes had turned to the parchment, his expression changed to one of deep puzzlement.

Harry went over to them, feeling foolish at Theo's confused look. Had his spelling been so bad? Slowly, however, something seemed to dawn on the other boy, as he murmured, "Fedamde shise... Verdammte Scheiße!"

"Yes, that was it," Harry said.

Theo laughed.

"What does it mean?" Hermione asked again.

"Verbally?"

"Yes."

"'Damned shit!' But you spell it..." Theo took a quill out of his drawer and tugged on Harry's sleeve to make the boy sit down next to him on the bed. "You spell it v e r d a double-m t e new word s c h e i double-s e. Verdammte Scheiße!"

"Fairdumbter Shiser," Harry repeated thoughtfully.

"Quite good," Theo said with a smile.

When they looked up from the parchment again, they were both surprised to find that Hermione was gone. Harry gave a somewhat help-seeking look towards the door, which was still ajar, but then shrugged it of. In a way he liked to spend some time alone with Theo. He moved away from the other boy, feeling strangely, if only slightly, out of breath. He leaned against the headboard and asked, "So... which language was that?"

"German," Theo answered lightly. He leaned against a bedpost opposite Harry, ruffling the covers lightly around his legs.

"Are you German then?"

"No, Scottish. Lived in Germany since I turned eight though."

"Why?"

Theo smiled. Harry couldn't help but answer the smile kindly. A warm feeling spread through his chest. Luckily his mind was mainly occupied with the conversation, or he might have given it some thought.

"Because of my granny," Theo said gently. "My mother is half German and when my grandfather and my uncle died and my uncle's family moved away, the double-house became too huge for my granny. That's when we moved in." He came out from under the cover and crawled over to the headboard, from where he took up a small pillow, before he sat next to Harry. His shoulders brushed Harry's slightly, as he shifted to get under the cover again. Harry had his eyes fixed on a spot on the bedpost, nibbling on his lower lip.

"Look," Theo then said. He placed the pillow on Harry's lap.

"Me..."

"Mein kleiner Engel. My little angel. It's what she used to call me." He laughed, taking the pillow with the beautifully embroidered words gently out of Harry's hands. "I was never much of an angel though, more of a tempest. My grandmother never judged me though. Knowing both sides, she always helped to negotiate between my mother and me." He tenderly passed one hand over the pillow, a gesture that made Harry want to place his head on the pillow in the other boy's lap and...

"Do you miss her much?"

"Yes, quite a bit sometimes..." Oh yes, Talitha did miss her grandmother. Looking at the pillow now, she could feel the tears rising and tilted her head back. If one looks upwards, the tears won't come. That was something Talitha had learned early on.

Thinking of her grandmother, however, reminded her of something else, something that had been nagging at her for a while, something she had wanted to talk about with Harry, but never, up to the present time, found the right moment for.

"Harry?" She slowly brought her face back into an upright position, yet didn't face him.

"Yes?"

"When you took my wand from me that night on the Quidditch pitch, you gave me a right fright, you know."

"I know," Harry said, surprise edging his voice at the seemingly random change of subject. "I am sorry. I am always quite afraid of losing my wand myself, I -"

"It was my grandmother's, you know," Theo interrupted.

"Your...?"

"Well, not really hers. She made it though. She made it when I was still a baby and when the day of my Choosing came, the wand truly chose me, she had made it so well."

Harry did not know how to reply. Silence ensued. Why had Theo brought this up after all that time? What did he expect him to say? Harry didn't understand. What he did understand, however, was that Theo had in a way just told him something deeply personal.

"Can I... can I see it again?" Harry asked after a while and eventually Theo faced him with something like surprise in his eyes. Then he pulled his wand from his pocket and handed it over to Harry.

"Here."

Harry looked at the wand from all sides. It was as skilfully crafted as the embroidery on the pillow. It was light and about as long as Harry's own wand. Harry could see that Theo looked after it well. Unlike his own it had hardly any scratches and had been polished only recently. An ivy-like pattern had been carved around the handle, making the wand lie firmly in one's hand. Weighing it, Harry looked up and asked, "What does it contain?"

"Cat hair," Theo replied.

Harry hadn't even known that cat hair could be used as a magical ingredient.

"It is really well crafted," he said finally, handing the wand back to its owner.

"Yeah, but that's not why it means so much to me. Now and then I felt closer to my granny than to my parents. Not being directly responsible for you, grandparents can be softer on you, you know."

"I didn't," Harry said gently. Yet for once no sorrow was tracing his voice, when talking about the family he had never had. The way Theo talked about his grandmother made Harry feel more warm than jealous, and he rather felt enriched than feeling the lack of something he had never had. Nothing except for being with the Weasleys had ever made him feel more capable of imagining what family could be like.

Apart from Sirius maybe....

Neither pity nor sympathy, but happiness in his eyes, Theo let one finger kindly trail down the other boy's cheek. "I know you've never known your grandfather, but one day you could be one." Harry didn't know what made him flinch ever so slightly, the novelty of the boy's tender touch, or the impulse of this new and strangely alien idea. He had never really thought of him as a father, far less as a grandfather. Truth be told, he had never considered himself getting very old.

However subtle the flinch might have been though, it seemed Theo had noticed it anyway. He suddenly looked concerned and somewhat upset. He pulled his hand quickly away from Harry's face.

"Are you all right? Was it something I said?"

"No, no!" Harry hurried to say. "I'm fine." He couldn't just freak out because he had a boy touching him in what he thought was a somewhat too gentle fashion. And it hadn't actually felt bad, it... Cut it!

Despite his words, however, Theo withdrew.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Harry gulped. "Of course." Had Theo noticed anything? Nonsense! What should he have noticed, when there actually was nothing to notice?!

Or was there...

Talitha kept silent for several more moments. How was she supposed to ask Harry about it, when she was actually not even supposed to know? How could she find out how much Harry knew without giving Draco and Ron away? This was difficult.

But once curiosity got the better of her, Talitha wouldn't just let go. She wanted to at least give it a try. And there wasn't really a careful way to put it....

"What do you know about Draco and Ron's friendship? How come they are so close? They used to hate each other, didn't they?" she asked eventually, trying to sound offhand.

This had been easier than she would have thought! The moment she had asked, she could practically feel the mood-shift which went through Harry. Immediately she saw something in his features that made her sure he... knew. His eye colour went from spring to a nasty autumn's day. Moreover, there was something in his voice that told her that he didn't like the subject one bit.

"We all used to hate Draco," he said almost evenly.

"Yes, I know. The three of you ended up befriending him anyway. But why does their friendship seem so special?"

"Dunno. Doesn't seem special to me. Why?"

"Just being curious..." She lay down, turning on her stomach, so she could still look him in the eyes, not sure whether she should prolong the subject, but... "You don't like them being friends, do you?"

Harry looked down on her, an ever so slight air of defiant arrogance in his voice as he answered. His eyes, however, had become an unreadable winter. "I don't mind."

'Oh yes, you do!'

***

When that night Talitha mused about her day's performance, she couldn't help but feel that she hadn't played well. Something had gone wrong. Something had led her astray.

She glanced through the gap of her curtains from through which she could see the faint light cast by Harry's wand made the curtain around his bed seemingly glow. That boy offered one mystery after the other! Talitha had always thought of herself as someone possessing good people skills, someone who knows, finds out, but is never found out, or even understood, herself. Harry, however, presented a challenge.

She thought back to their earlier conversation and the strong feeling arose in her that her performance had become flawed while she sat next to Harry on the bed. It had been a long time since she had felt so relatively at ease with her own persona. Had her talk maybe given her away? Had it been girlish to talk about her grandmother, or mentioning her wand again? Boys normally forget about such thing the next day.... Somehow his presence appeared to have a manipulating effect on her.

"Oh I love Halloween!"

"Yeah, but don't you think we sort of mugglelise the feast, if we dress up like that?"

"We use the Muggle term anyway, and I think it's a brilliant idea! Not everything Muggle-related is bad."

"That wasn't what I meant...."

"I wonder what he will do."

"Who? Theo?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I keep wondering as well."

"He could go as a fit Vampire. Merlin knows he's got the cheekbones."

"They're gorgeous, aren't they?"

*would-be seductive voice* "Yes, and I'll go as the sexy Veela who seduces the bad boy."

"Pity though that he's got detention...."

*collective sigh*

"What are you dressing up as, by the way?"

"I'll go as a catholic inquisitor!"

"Ewww! Creepy!"

***

Not even being in the same room as Harry, Hermione could still feel darkness clouding his mood, while she and Ginny put the final touches to their outfits. She had noticed this particular mood mounting up in him these days. Yet whenever she tried to talk to him, he would deny that anything was amiss.

She concentrated on dulling her emphatic skills as best she could. Tonight she wanted to be carefree. This party was promising to be fun and Hermione wanted to enjoy herself.

She gave the angel in the mirror a last considering look. A charm would allow her to spread and move her white feathery wings at will. Right now, they aligned with her back, her creamy white dress flowing down her body and glittering ever so slightly with her movements, and some highlights underlined the effect of what Ginny had lovingly called 'star-powder' in her loosely gathered hair, which fell lightly onto her shoulders. Yes, she would enjoy herself tonight!

"Ginny? Could you do my make-up now?"

"Sure. Sit down."

Ginny gestured with one slender, red-nailed finger towards her bed and Hermione sat down. She smiled and Hermione answered it. Ginny looked gorgeous in an outfit of red and black, her hair sprayed up and charmed flames, Hermione's own creation, toying through it. They had handed out the roles well. Black, leathery wings flipped playfully on Ginny's back. Yes, Hermione had done a nice little charm work, but she was glad that someone as skilled as Ginny would do her makeup. The girl, already having done hers, looked like living sin! Hermione had to smile at the thought of Ron's face.

"Stop smiling for a moment, will you. I want to do a neat job on the lipstick charm." Hermione relaxed her lips. Now Ginny radiated quite different emotions compared to... The angel told herself off. Here she was again worrying about Harry.

Looking at her face in the mirror, she pushed these thoughts as far away as possible and blocked Harry's feelings out the best she could.

"Let's get the boys," she said happily.

***

"I know you normally don't like to hear that, but you look somewhat like your brother Charlie today with those boots and the leather jacket and all," Seamus observed, buttoning his suit and putting on his glasses. Dean and he had decided to go as Doctor Jekyl and Mister Hyde.

"For once this resemblance is intended. Do I look fit to hunt dragons?"

"Definitely," said the literally two-faced phantom that was Neville.

"Where's Theo?" asked Dean.

"He got ready earlier. He had to go down and help with the decoration as part of his detention," explained his saner half.

Harry, dressed entirely in black, turned around to Ron, who, having finished, was just about to put his wand into the holster at his belt. "Do you think they're long enough?" Harry gave a big smile to bare his magically lengthened fangs. Green eyes looked questioningly out of a pale, elegantly featured face.

"Perfect."

Suddenly the door opened a gap wide. "Knock, knock."

"Come in."

Ginny entered the room, savouring the obvious impact she had. "We're ready, when you are," she said innocently. Ron's eyes widened, Neville's ear tips reddened, as he tried not to stare, Seamus grinned and whistled openly, Dean's fingers itched to get his hands on brush and parchment and even Harry couldn't help a second glance and a half-smile.

Just as Ron was about to snap, however, he felt two gentle arms encircling him and the outburst was prevented as he turned around in an angel's arms.

"Shush," Hermione made, for only him to hear. "It's Halloween. Leave her alone." But it was quite obvious that Ginny had been blown out of his mind anyway.

Hermione freed herself tenderly out of his embrace and took one step back to admire her two boys. "You look great!" She turned to Harry. "I like your fangs." 'And the colour of your clothing goes well with that of your mood....'

***

The feast was buzzing with elegant elves and fairies, wild-looking werewolves, some very obviously Muggle-fiction inspired, more or less magical creatures, and a few more ghosts than usual. Dumbledore had managed to engage a band called Dorian's Immortals, which seemed to be fairly popular. House-elves were swarming all over the place, except for the dance floor, to serve drinks and food. One quite peculiar house-elf, however, was rather swarmed around himself than being able to do the swarming. Theo noticed his fellow Gryffindors upon entering the Hall, waved at them and did in fact look quite glad for an excuse to leave the small group of girls surrounding him.

"Excuse me, ladies," he said, offering each of them another drink off his tray, before he made his way over to his friends. There he smiled admiringly first at Ginny and then at Hermione, who snuggled a little closer to Ron, but, nevertheless, answered his smile. Theo offered the lot a drink and exchanged some quick words, before Ron pulled Hermione onto the dance floor, Lavender came over to her tonight's dancing partner Seamus, Dean went over to his one-year older Ravenclaw girlfriend, and Ginny left to find Draco.

"Nice ears," Harry commented with a little nod towards Theo's bat-like ears.

"Thanks." Theo smiled. "I thought, if I have to work like one of them, I might as well look like a house-elf. Well, an overgrown one anyway."

"I think you managed quite nicely," Harry said and couldn't help but grin, as he took in the other boy's appearance.

"Gosh! Great fangs!" Theo exclaimed.

At the other end of the room, Hermione was skilfully led by Ron, the couple getting quite some looks from the other dancers. She was definitely enjoying herself, yet she never had been good at just brushing her worries aside, especially when it came to Harry. Should she risk reaching out for him one more time? Trying to hold on to the smile on her face, she allowed her protection to slip. The room was coloured with predominantly bright emotions, but most of them felt quite faint to her. Only those of her friends, of people close to her, were intense enough to apply meaning to them. The smile she had fixed to her face in case she had to hide her worries about Harry from Ron, relaxed and became more natural again, as the first emotions practically engulfing her were those of a certain redhead, who immediately answered the sudden twinkle in her eyes with a brief kiss. Then she started to look out for Harry, started to look out for something dark, and at first was almost inclined to think he had somehow vanished, for the pattern of his emotions couldn't have been more different from what she had encountered before. Truth be told, she didn't recognise him right away. When she did, however, she was quite surprised at the mixture of positive feelings she found. A smile once again spread over her face, as worries were replaced by happiness and relief. She turned around to make out Harry in the crowd and find out what had caused this change. The moment she spotted him in a far corner, however, her smile faded somewhat. Theo was standing with him casually leaning against the wall with a tray in his hands, and, although the two of them seemed to be having a pleasant conversation, Hermione couldn't help but feel her suspicions against the boy rise once again. The same way she couldn't help noticing a few girls quite close by glancing over at the two boys ever so often....

***

"I know that Mr. Potter is used to special treatment," came a snarling voice from behind Theo, making both boys jump slightly. "You, however, Mr. Callidis, were certainly not told that keeping him entertained all night is part of your detention. There are others wanting a drink," Snape finished, picking a glass from the tray.

Talitha raised her eyebrows at Harry, sighed for only him to hear and said her goodbyes. "See you later, I s'ppose."

"Yeah, see you."

She made her way into the crowd, offering drinks and collecting glasses. Though she would have preferred chatting with Harry a little longer, she didn't really find that this was a detention to complain about. She liked to watch the people. Her view trailed over to the dance floor and she saw Ron and Hermione leaving it, just when several heads near the entrance turned to the door. Talitha glimpsed Ginny, who also turned away from the boy she was just talking to. She saw a smile spread over the lovely demon's face. Naturally it was Draco making his big entrance. Talitha had long figured that he was the kind who would always come a little late to social events (though never to classes) to catch people's attention. And an entrance it was! A leathery glistening hide in several matching and intermingling shades of green spread over his body like a second skin, reaching out to, but not quite covering his hands and face. He was wearing loose black trousers, a black shirt with an Asian style collar and no shoes, but black sandals. His whole outfit might have looked quite plain and casual, and somewhat unlike Draco, if it hadn't been for the fact that all the clothes were evidently made of wild silk and subtle silver threads were forming a pattern on his collar. On the back the shirt was skilfully ripped open to reveal dragon wings and his hair appeared silvery and somewhat dragon-scale like. And the fact that his shirt was unbuttoned didn't only catch Ginny's attention.

After chatting to a few people with Ginny soon at his arm, Draco came over to Talitha to fetch a drink. They exchanged a few words about his outfit and other trivialities, before the couple went over to join Ron and Hermione. And suddenly it hit Talitha very clearly why Ron had chosen his peculiar outfit. She smiled and went on serving drinks to other people.

Throughout the evening she kept an eye on Harry, always discovering him with some girl or the other or with some fellow Gryffindors. Nevertheless, the only times he didn't look alone in this crowd of people was when he was with his true friends, when he was talking to Ron, Hermione, Ginny, or maybe Neville or Draco.

As, to the obvious annoyance of some of the all-year-ghosts, the band declared it midnight by playing the 'Ghostbusters' theme song, Talitha discovered several couples kissing in more or less hidden parts of the Hall. Someone had spread the rumour that it was Muggle tradition to kiss at midnight on Halloween - a rumour that was greeted well even by those who knew better. She spotted most of the couples she knew plus some she hadn't even thought of being likely to get together. Then she found herself looking out for Harry. He had returned to the corner where she last had left him and stood there alone. Talitha could feel a slight tension ceasing, she hadn't even noticed before. So he wasn't kissing any girl, he... She forcefully discarded the thought and started to collect empty glasses. Her head turned in his direction one more time and it upset her to see him all alone, but at the same time...

After midnight the companies shifted. Talitha saw Ginny and Hermione sitting at their table, talking quite animatedly. For a brief moment Talitha felt the urge to join in what seemed to be a pleasantly girlish conversation. She sighed and instead searched the room for Draco and Ron. She spotted them near the entrance, obviously trying to make an inconspicuous departure. Curious, she got a little closer and saw their hands brush 'accidentally' before Draco left the Hall. Barely two minutes later Ron followed.

"Mr. Callidis?" It was the second time that night a teacher made her jump. She turned around to find Professor McGonagall, who was holding an empty glass in her hands.

"Can I offer you a drink, Miss?"

"No, thank you. I came over to tell you that your detention is over. It is well past midnight and the feast will be over in about an hour. You're free to enjoy yourself for the time remaining," she said, taking the tray out of Talitha's hands and placing it on a table.

"Thank you, Professor." With a smile Talitha quickly loosened her apron, hung it over a chair and started to look out for Harry. As she couldn't find him, she made her way over to Ginny and Hermione, who instantly fell silent when she arrived at their table, confirming Talitha's suspicion about 'girl talk'.

"Hi, have you two seen Harry."

"No, not in a while," said Ginny.

"Why?" prompted Hermione. Both, Ginny and Talitha, gave her a rather curious look, surprised at the question as well as her tone.

"I..."

"He has probably left with Ron and Draco," said Ginny, before an awkward silence could arise. "Maybe they've sneaked out onto the grounds to have a real Butter Beer, if you know what I mean," she added silently.

"I see..."

Yet Talitha knew better. She had seen their boyfriends leave and she doubted that, even if he knew where they were, Harry would want to be in the same room with them right now. She had a bad feeling about Harry not being there. He hadn't been in the best of moods. She'd rather not think of him being anywhere alone in the castle. But how was she supposed to find him? She wrecked her brain for searching spells, when her eyes fell on the table in the corner where Harry had been earlier. There was a single glass on the table. There was a fairly high probability that it was his. Quickly she made her way over to the table and picked up the glass, before any of the house-elves came to clear the table. She took out her wand and murmured a spell, directing it at the glass. Trying to hold her wand low, she followed the direction to which it pointed, glad to find that it soon led her out of the Hall, meaning that it most likely truly would lead her to Harry.

She was curious where she would find him, being quite sure that it wouldn't be the dorm. Her wand led her up several staircases and along a couple of passageways. She really hoped that Harry would be able to find their way back to Gryffindor Tower, for she certainly wouldn't without help. While she was walking, she charmed the elven-ears off her head and ran her hand through her hair. When the wand finally pointed straight at a door, she found herself in a part of the castle completely unknown to her. There was noise coming out of the room - noises of breaking wood and smashing glass. Talitha felt somewhat apprehensive upon entering the room. Was Harry having some sort of fight? But then... wouldn't she be able to hear the shouting of spells?

Slowly and silently, she opened the door and her eyes widened at the picture in front of her. The entire room looked shattered... as did the furious boy inside. Talitha entered, closing the door quietly behind her. She needn't have bothered though, for Harry was just kicking in an expensive looking cupboard on the other side of the room, his back turned on her, obviously oblivious to her presence. Slowly she approached him, completely taken by the image he presented. Never in her life had she seen someone in such a rage of anger and sadness and she found that it scared her deep down. What scared her even more was the eerie silence. The smashing sounds aside, Harry was silent. He panted somewhat, but he neither screamed, nor shouted anything.

After destroying great parts of the cupboard, Harry, panting, came to a halt in front of its big mirror. Now Talitha could finally see his face. Furious tears were running down his cheeks and he looked at his reflection with sad, empty dark green eyes, before the sparkle of sinister rage returned to them and he lifted his arm to smash the mirror.

Talitha caught his fist mere inches before the impact, but wasn't able to hold back its full force. In split seconds, she had crossed the room, the moment she sensed that he was aiming again. As her reflection caught in the mirror, he had hesitated for the briefest of moments, which had allowed her to grab his fist, but she probably should rather have gone for his wrist instead, because now the back of hand in which his fist was caught had connected with the mirror. The mirror had cracked.

Harry stared at her panting. She stared back at him still feeling somewhat scared. When she felt the tension ceasing from his fist, she let go of it and he lowered his arm. His eyes turned blank and sad again. Not thinking Talitha followed her first impulse and took him into a tight embrace. At first he felt almost shallow against her. Yet soon, reluctantly first and then more tightly, he hugged her back - clutching on to her as if she was his only hold. He started to sob, all his strength flooding out of him.

Talitha was shocked and held on to him as tightly as she could. Harry buried his face in the fabric of her clothes and she could feel hot tears seeping through the rags of her house-elf tunic. They stood like that for several minutes before Talitha dared to let go of him. She took Harry's face between both her hands. Now that no tears were left and fury had ebbed away, he looked only lost. Talitha looked at him warmly, trying to sooth him, trying to radiate confidence.

She gave him the tiniest of smiles, not knowing what made her say what she said next. "I'm there," she whispered. "You're not alone. I won't leave you." She stroked his cheeks gently with her thumbs and Harry closed his eyes, finally allowing exhaustion to show. He snuggled his face into her palm for a moment.

When he opened his eyes again, Talitha let one hand fall away from his face. They looked at each other in silence and slowly, very slowly, her face moved slightly forwards of what seemed to be its own accord. And suddenly Harry closed the distance...

...almost.

Talitha could already feel his breath on her lips, when the spell of the moment suddenly broke. Harry stopped in his movement. Talitha's other hand dropped away from his face. And they both took a small step backwards.

***

fin