Harry Potter and the Unanswered Question

Chapter Eight

Going Home

Harry awoke the next morning feeling groggy and with a pounding headache. Not really feeling like eating, he decided to forego breakfast. Instead he pulled his father's diary out and opened it up to his book marked page.

Tuesday, August 5

Sirius is in detention tonight, Remus is helping Peter study for his re-do in Charms. Natalie is studying for her Arithmancy test and I am bored!!! I had the weirdest dream last night! I dreamed I was out of school. No really old, maybe five years or so out. I was married, which isn't such a weird thing, I guess. The weird part was whom I was married to. Lily. She was so beautiful. Her fiery red hair falling, unbound around her shoulders (why doesn't she ever wear her hair down?) her green eyes sparkling in the half-light. Then she came to me, carrying a bundle of blankets. When she got closer, I could see there was something in those blankets. Then, when she was standing inches from me, I realized what was in there. It was a baby. He was so small, with a mop of jet-black hair so similar to mine, but when he opened his eyes and looked up at me, it was Lily's eyes I was looking into. That's when I woke up.

Man, what a dream! I must like her more than I thought. That or I could be losing my mind.

Harry was shocked. He knew the baby his father spoke of was himself. It had to be. He wondered for the first time if there were some Seer blood in his family. He figured if there was, then someone would have said something, surely. But why else would his father be dreaming about the wife and child he didn't have yet? Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Either way it was a little weird, he had to agree with his father on that.

He was just turning the page when Ron came in. "Harry, Guess who just came in? Dumbledore! Mum practically threw me upstairs!" he excitedly reported.

"Are Hermione and Ginny in their room?" he asked his exuberant friend.

"I think so," he answered.

"Let's go tell them," he suggested. With that the two friends crossed the hall and knocked on the girl's door.

"Come in," Ginny called. They walked into the room. This room looked very much like their own room. There were two four-poster beds with emerald green drapes. One wall was taken up by two enormous wardrobes, the opposite wall held two oval mirrors, each one on one side of a large, ornate bureau. There was a window between the beds that, unlike the boys' window, which looked out onto the back of the house, looked out onto the street in front of the house. Ginny was sitting on her bed, reading her Transfiguration book. Hermione, to their utter surprise, was sitting at the bureau, attempting to french braid her hair.

"Guess who just arrived?" Ron asked as he sat on the foot of his sister's bed.

"Who?" Ginny asked as she put her book down.

"Dumbledore," he answered.

"He's here?" Hermione asked, turning from the mirror.

"Apparently," Harry answered.

"Could you do me a favor?" she asked, coming to sit by him on the bed.

"Uh, sure," he answered.

"Thanks!" she turned her back to him and handed him a rubber hair band. "Could you fasten this to the end of the braid for me?"

"Uh...sure," he took the band and wrapped it around the end of her hair. He had never touched a girl's hair before. His curiosity got the better of him as he smoothed his hand over her braid. To cover his embarrassment he asked, "Where did you learn to do this?"

"My mother taught me this summer," she answered. He looked up and saw Ron glaring at him. Before he could decide what he had done, the redhead turned and looked out the window. "Thanks," Hermione interrupted his thoughts while fingering her braid. He started to reply, but was interrupted by Mrs. Weasley. She entered carrying a tray of sandwiches and a pitcher of pumpkin juice.

"Enjoy your lunch up here, will you?" she told them as she placed the tray on the bureau.

"Still busy downstairs?" Ginny asked.

"Don't you worry about that," she admonished. With that she turned and left the room.

"Listen, Harry, I wanted to talk to you about something," Hermione said as she turned to face him.

"Uh...what?" he asked, unsure of what she would say.

"Well, uh, I..." she took a deep breath. "I think you should ask Dumbledore if you can continue with Occulamency lessons," she spoke rather quickly, as if she was afraid if she went too slow she would never get it out, then added a bit slower, "You don't want to start having dreams again, do you? I mean, I doubt He would try the same trick twice, but, well, wouldn't it be better if he couldn't get into your mind at all?" she finished quickly.

He just stared for a moment. "You don't honestly want me to go back to Snape, do you?" he asked with disgust.

"Well, not necessarily Snape, you could ask Dumbledore to coach you," she suggested. He was stunned.

"You really think I should ask Dumbledore?" he asked.

"Well, why not?" she shrugged. He thought maybe the braid was a little too tight.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because he's the headmaster and I'm sure he has much more important things to do than tutor a student," he replied a bit sarcastically.

"It's more than just tutoring, Harry, and you're not just any student," she softly argued. He was skeptical.

"I'll think about it," he promised. She looked as if she was going to argue, but thought better of it. "Hey, Ron, want to play a game of chess?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

"No thanks," he answered, still staring out the window. Odd, he thought.

"I'll play," Hermione offered.

"Okay," he said while picking up the girl's board and setting it up. "Black or white?" he asked.

"Um, white," she answered. He finished setting up the board, and then waited for her to make her first move. While he was waiting, he noticed Ginny had taken Hermione's place at the bureau. She was brushing her hair out. He found himself staring at her red locks and wondering what they would feel like. "Harry? Harry! Your turn," Hermione nudged him, interrupting his musings. Embarrassed at having been caught staring at Ginny's hair, he quickly moved one of his pawns forward. Hermione gave him a knowing smile and returned her gaze to the board. He was blushing furiously. He quickly looked down at the board and kept his eyes there for the remainder of the game.

After their game, which ended in a stalemate, Ginny and Hermione decided to play a game. While the two girls reset the board, Harry went to sit on the bed next to Ron.

"What's up?" he asked his sullen friend.

"Nothing," he answered. He knew he wasn't telling the truth.

"You don't have to lie to me," he told him.

"I'm not!" came his sharp reply. He was taken back by his friend's snappish attitude.

"Fine," he muttered, turning to watch the girls' game.

Ginny had Hermione's king trapped with a bishop and her queen. The only way for her to get out would be to move her knight, which would leave her queen to be taken by Ginny's rook. He knew her style and he knew her queen was her strongest piece. Without it, she wouldn't stand a chance. Grumbling, she moved her knight between her king and Ginny's bishop. Smiling, the redhead captured the frowning brunettes queen. Hermione looked up and caught him smirking.

"Yes, I'm sure this is very funny to you," she told him in exasperation. He just laughed.

The girls' game ended quickly after that, with Ginny ruling the board. While Hermione put up the board, Ginny picked up her Transfiguration book.

"I can't wait for the Welcome Feast tomorrow!" she said enthusiastically.

"It will be nice to be back," Ron added. It was the first thing he had added to the conversation since lunch. Harry was glad to see his friend joining in again.

"I can't wait to start our classes. Think of all the things we'll learn this year!!" Hermione added, coming to sit by Ginny.

"That would be all you can think about," Ron muttered.

"For your information, that is not all I think about," she retorted. Harry glanced at his two friends, sensing a fight coming on. He glanced at Ginny and saw that she was thinking the same thing.

"I can't wait for the first Hogsmeade visit. Aren't you ready for a trip to Zonko's, Ron?" he asked his friend.

"Well, I could use some more Dungbombs and Stink Pellets," he added, warming up to the conversation.

"I could use some of those Sugar Quills from Honeydukes," Ginny said, licking her lips.

"My parents loved those Tooth Flossing Stringmints!" Hermione added.

"Hey! You should get them a couple of Fred and George's trick toothbrushes! They squirt sour juice into your mouth and make snide comments while you're using them," Ron told her.

She laughed. "How snide?" she asked.

"Not too bad. Just stuff like, 'not so hard, you're hurting me!' and 'it's about time you used me, don't you think?' Sometimes they sing those really annoying songs that get on everyone's nerves," he explained.

"Those sound funny! I think my parents would get a kick out of them!" she laughed.

Harry thought they sounded funny, like something Sirius would like. He froze as his thoughts turned towards his godfather. His heart ached at the memory. He had been so good about not thinking about him, but now all the pain came rushing back in. He felt sick for a moment.

"Harry, mate, you don't look so good," Ron commented.

"I'm fine...I just, uh, need some air," he stammered then bolted for the door leaving three stunned friends gaping at the opened door.

He ran down the stairs then out the back door. He ran past the garden, up the hill then fell to his knees before his parents' graves. He had been numb, pushing everything he felt away. He had put everything, every memory, every feeling into a part of his heart he refused to open because it was too painful. He had laughed with his friends, joked to keep the monsters at bay. He had been careful not to do or say anything that would remind him of last year, but he had gotten careless, that or he just couldn't do it anymore. Either way, the pain and anger washed over him now, feeding the hatred inside of him, hatred for the man who had taken everything from him. Oh how he wished Voldemort were there, before him now. He would cause him to writhe in agony before him. Bellatrix told him that to use the Cruciatus Curse, you had to want to cause pain, you had to want them to suffer, and at that moment, he did. He wanted to see Voldemort cower before him, he wanted to see him beg for his life, and then he wanted to take it away, just the way Voldemort had taken his parents' lives, Cedric's life. He looked down at his parents' graves and for the first time he felt anger towards them.

"Why did you switch??" he yelled at the tombstones as the tears fell down his face. "Sirius was your best friend! He would have died rather than betray you!" he sobbed, "But you chose Peter. Why!?" he demanded, but no answer came from the cold stone. He glanced at his mother's grave. "You didn't have to die! You had to be so damned noble! Now look at me. Was I worth it? Your life, just thrown away, for what? I'm not great, I'm not going to beat him, was it really worth it???" he felt his anger grow. He turned to his father's grave. "You really thought you could face him alone? How stupid could you be? How could you trust Peter? I've met him; I know what he's like. How could you be so blind?" he demanded. Then he looked up at the heavens. "Is this what you saved me for!?" Suddenly his anger was gone. In its place was a cold emptiness. "I'm sorry," he softly cried. Ashamed of his earlier thoughts, he wept. He hugged his knees tight and wept. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and found himself looking up into Dumbledore's knowing eyes. He looked older than the last time he had seen him. More wrinkles around his eyes and a sadness that surrounded him.

"Lemon drop?" he asked.

"No, thank you, sir," he answered politely.

"Your parents left this estate in my care, until you are of age," he told him. "I believed you were ready to face this. After everything that happened last year, after my mistakes, I thought it was time to stop babying you. You have proven time and time again that you can handle much more than someone your age should have to. Forgive me for not brining you here earlier," he apologized. Harry wasn't sure how to respond. Suddenly remembering what Hermione had said, he turned to face Dumbledore.

"Sir, I would like to continue with Occulamency," he stated vehemently. Dumbledore looked surprised, and then gave a small smile.

"Then I would be happy to teach you," he told him. Harry stood up and turned back to the house.

"Thank you, sir," he added with a resolute tone to his voice. He knew now what he had to do. He had to make his parents sacrifice worth it. He was going to beat Voldemort; he was going to see him dead at his feet. He was going to avenge his parents' deaths and Cedric and Sirius's. He would make him pay. He began walking down the hill with a new resolve in his step.

The headmaster watched him go, wondering, not for the first time, if he had done the right thing. Praying he had, he dissaparated.

Harry heard a pop and turned to find the headmaster gone. He continued down the hill. He felt much calmer now. He felt he had a purpose now. When he entered the kitchen, he found his friends already seated. He took the seat next to Ron.

"Are you okay, mate?" he asked quietly.

"Yup. Pass the potatoes," he answered. Looking skeptical, his friend handed him the plate of fried potatoes. The rest of dinner was uneventful. Harry ate his fill, but chose not to participate in the conversations floating around him. When he had cleaned his plate, he decided to forego dessert and asked to be excused. He made his way upstairs and began packing his trunk. They would be leaving at the crack of dawn to get to the train station on time. After piling his books and clean robes and socks into his truck he started to close it. That's when he caught sight of his father's diary on his bedside table. He walked over and picked it up. Underneath it was the journal Hermione had given him for his birthday. He picked that up and placed it I his trunk. He took his father's diary and sat down on his bed. He opened it to his bookmark.

Thursday, August 6

I have dinner with Nat tonight. Fun, huh? I don't know. I really like her. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's, well, she's kind of boring. She's such a stickler for the rules. She has power; I've seen her in class. There isn't a spell, charm, or potion she can't master instantly. But she has no ambition. She's deadly in Defense, with all her hexes and jinxes, but when I suggested she become an Auror, she changed the subject immediately. She finally admitted she just didn't have it in her; she would never make a good one, which I think is a load of bull! She's a prefect and I've seen what she does to students she catches out-of-bounds or out after curfew. Let me tell you this, they don't do it again! But she refuses to think she's good at anything. She told me they need really powerful wizards for Aurors and she just wasn't up to snuff. She's scared I think, of failing. She's just so happy sitting in the library, reading or studying. I don't understand it...she needs to use her talent for something...I don't know, something important. She could be so great.

Harry closed the diary. He walked over to his trunk and added the diary to his other belongings, then closed the trunk with a snap. He got into his bed and shut the drapes. He was fast asleep by the time Ron came to bed.

Mrs. Weasley came into the boys' room at four the next morning. "Come on, boys, time to get up," she gently shook Ron then Harry. Ron muttered, but got up.

"C'mon, Harry, let's go," he mumbled. The sleepy redhead stumbled out the door and down to the kitchen. Harry groggily got up, dressed and went down the stairs after Ron. He found both girls already sitting at the table, looking as tired as he felt. Ginny looked like she could fall asleep in her chair. He looked at Hermione and thought he was seeing things. While she looked half asleep, she was busy reading Hogwarts, A History.

"Hermione, you're insane," he mumbled. She looked up and gave a small, tired smile. After breakfast, the foursome piled into the car with Mr. Weasley this time. Harry found himself in the back between Hermione and Ron. Ginny took the front seat next to her father. The ride to the train station was long and boring. Ron and Ginny fell asleep half way there. He turned to Hermione.

"I talked to Dumbledore yesterday," he told her. She looked surprised.

"What did he say?"

"He said he would work with me on Occulamency," he told her.

"Harry, that's great!" she smiled, and then looked serious again. "Listen, what happened yesterday?" she asked hesitantly.

"Nothing," he answered, not wanting to talk about it just yet. She was silent for a moment then changed the subject.

"Have you learned anything more about Natalie Brookes?" she asked.

"Not much. Just that she sounds a lot like you," he said teasingly. "She was a bookworm. Really smart, perfect at everything."

"Shut up!" she said laughing. Then she got a gleam in her eye. Turning to face him, she asked, "When are you going to ask Ginny out?"

"What?" he sputtered. He looked at her. She was smiling. "When are you going to ask Ron out?" he countered, watching her turn three shades of red.

"I don't know what you are talking about," she told him.

"Sure," he said, knowingly. She quickly changed the subject.

"Will you be sticking with Potions?" she asked.

"Well, I need Potions to be an Auror, so unless Snape refuses to take me, yes, I will be," he answered.

"Snape would have to take you if you scored high enough on your O.W.L. Dumbledore would make sure," she told him.

"Yeah, I guess so. What about you, what classes are you thinking of taking?" he asked.

"I'm sticking with Defense, Transfiguration, Charms and Potions. I haven't decided about the others yet. Fred and George said N.E.W.T. classes are twice as long as regular ones and I sure don't want to end up like third year, so I'll wait and talk to McGonagall about the others," she explained. They spent the rest of the trip talking about what they thought their classes would be like. When Mr. Weasley pulled up to the train station, Ginny and Ron were just waking up. He parked the car then helped them put their trunks on carts. They wheeled their carts into the station.

"All right, Harry and Ron first then you girls," he told them. The two boys leaned against the platform divider then carefully slid through. Once on the other side they caught sight of the large scarlet steam engine. Finally, Harry felt he was almost home.

Once on the train he and Ginny claimed a compartment while Ron and Hermione went off to the prefects car. Harry sat down and looked out the window to wave at Mr. Weasley before he disapparated. Ginny sat down next to him. He smiled at her. "Did you sleep well?" he asked. She smiled as a small blush crept up her cheeks.

"Yes, actually I did," she answered. "Are you okay?" she asked cautiously. "The way you ran out the other day, I just wanted to make sure you were, you know, okay," she finished awkwardly. He started to tell her he was fine, but something stopped him. Turning to Ginny he began to talk.

"I've shut everything out. I've tried not to think about Sirius or anything about last year. It was just too hard to think about. I guess it got to be too much. When Ron was talking about those toothbrushes, I thought how Sirius would like them, and then it all just came flooding back. It was just too much. I had to get out. I'm okay now though, I promise," he told her. Ginny reached over and took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. Without thinking, he interlaced his fingers with hers. She looked surprised, but pleased. "Thanks for listening, Gin," he told her.

"I'm always here," she promised him. They sat like that, holding hands in silence until Ron and Hermione returned from the prefect car. They jumped apart guiltily when the door to their compartment opened. Ron entered grumbling followed by Hermione rolling her eyes.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Ron's a little upset," she answered.

"More than a little!" he sputtered. "You see, we just a lecture from McGonagall about treating Malfoy and the others properly, not treating them any differently because of what happened to their fathers," he explained.

"We're suppose to keep an eye out and take points from anyone treating them unfairly," Hermione told them.

"Oh, sure, because Malfoy's nothing like his father. He would never treat anyone unfairly," Ginny snorted.

Harry had to agree with them. Then he remembered something Hermione had said. "McGonagall's on the train?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah! McGonagall, Flitwick, and Brookes. Extra safety precautions," she told them.

"Do they really think Voldemort would attack the school train?" he asked.

"Better safe than sorry," Ron said. Harry had a bad feeling in his stomach, but he pushed it aside, determined to enjoy the rest of the trip.

The blue sky had turned gray and the wind had picked up by mid-afternoon. The witch with the snack trolley came by and Harry bought some Cauldron Cakes and bottles of pumpkin juice for the group to share. Hermione bought some Chocolate Frogs and they split those as well. They were enjoying their snacks when their fellow sixth year Neville Longbottom and fifth year Ravenclaw, Luna Lovegood came by.

"Hiya," Neville greeted.

"Hullo."

"Hi."

"How was your summer?"

"Good," he answered. "Gran took me to see the Quidditch World Cup in New York!! And I got a new owl. His name's Pericles!" he excitedly told the group.

"Wow," said Ron, enviously. "Who was playing?"

Ginny took that opportunity to sidle over to Luna. "Have a good trip with your father?" she asked.

"Yes, I did! We had so much fun! And guess what? I'm a prefect," she told her.

"That's great," she told the ditzy blonde.

"You like him," Luna said in a singsong way.

"What?"

"Harry. You like him. And now you are blushing," she said matter-a-factly. Ginny could feel herself turning red. Was she that obvious? She had convinced herself she was over her silly crush. After all, it had been four years. But she knew she was only lying to herself. Last year, when he had sort of been going with Cho Chang, it had killed her. She had been so jealous. She had really only gone out with that Ravenclaw to try and forget about Harry, but it hadn't worked. Then, when things had gone horribly wrong between Harry and Cho, she had secretly been so pleased. Now here she was again, falling for him. Only this time, he actually seemed to like her back. Or not...she thought as she glanced over at him to find Hermione leaning over his shoulder, aptly listening to Neville explain some historical fact about New York. He turned to smile at Hermione and she suddenly wondered if she had imagined the way he had so tenderly held her hand. She suddenly remembered something Hermione had said one night this summer. They had been talking about weird couples and Hermione had admitted she had a crush on someone. She had refused to tell her who it was. Suddenly it all made sense. Hermione had a crush on Harry! She wouldn't tell her because she knew how she felt about the dark-haired, green-eyed boy! She felt her stomach flip. One question lingered in her mind as the train pulled into the station. Who does he like?