An Assault on the Senses

Ron was ready to weep. Nothing was working. They had been stuck in a bloody broom closet and nothing had happened! They fell asleep in each others arms and, as Harry told him, "it really strengthened their friendship." Strengthened their friendship.

Holy hell.

Maybe Malfoy was right about Harry. He really was a blithering idiot.

No, no, he had to remain positive. He couldn't give up now. His attempts at romance had brought the two closer together, if such a thing was possible. That had to mean something, right?

What it meant was that all of Gryffindor was that much closer to throwing themselves off the Tower, going to Snape to ask for extra work in the Potions dungeon or, even worse, putting up a sign at the next Quidditch game that said "Just kiss already, you dopes!" While the last option was amusing to ponder, it would undoubtedly set The Cause back (Ron had taken to thinking about his Mission in capital letters).

Lavender whumped down on the couch next to him and took in his darkened face. "The non-lovebirds got you down?"

Ron groaned and slumped down. "I don't what to do. I've tried subtle; they brushed it off as weird coincidences. Sparkles, voices, smells! Coincidences, all of them! Their denial is a wonder to behold."

Lavender patted his knee and smiled encouragingly. "We need to make it a bit more obvious, I think. Padma and I were doing some research--stop looking at me like that--and we found a spell that can make a person sensitive to the touch of someone else. Good for espionage and finding your contact and the like. If we set them both up with the spell, they'll get a shock whenever they come in contact with each other. Just think about it," Lavender said earnestly, "we do a little twist on it and every time that they touch each other, it'll be like lightning!"

"Literally? I can't see that being a good idea," Ron said gloomily.

Lavender rolled her eyes. "Of course not. It would be just a little whzzzt!" She made a little shaking motion with her whole body to demonstrate that had Ron looking at her with a very naughty gleam in his eye. "Nothing dangerous, nothing annoying. Just a little pleasurable jolt that'll get them wondering and touching each other."

Ron tore himself away from thoughts of Lavender shaking and pondered over this new plan. It did present certain advantages. Harry and Hermione would be touching. If it was just a little zap, they wouldn't get annoyed or be snappish at the end of the day. Even better, if it was a pleasurable jolt, they would be touching a lot and trying to not make it obvious.

It had comedy potential, at the very least.

"Sure," Ron agreed. "Doesn't sound like too much could go wrong. At least by our standards." He relaxed and congratulated himself. His plan was working. The team was pulling together and working towards a solution. Harry and Hermione would be together by nightfall.

Ron decided that for an average bloke, he certainly had his moments.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Astonishingly, the spell had worked. No complications, no unforeseen consequences, no unanticipated interactions with other spells, potions or magical beasts. Harry and Hermione received a pleasurable jolt whenever they touched. And Ron had been right.

It was as funny as hell.

Watching them first try not to touch each other, then finally give in and either try to hide their touches or make them look accidental was quite possibly the funniest thing Ron had ever seen. It was far more amusing than anything Fred and George had ever come up with.

It had started with an accidental bump in the common room. The three teenagers were lazing about on the couch, taking their time going to breakfast. There was a rather mysterious thump on the floor. Ron was looking the other direction with a shifty look on his face. Harry and Hermione both looked and reached down for the object.

A sudden touch.

A startling whzzzt.

A surprised look.

A rapid retreat.

A shameless snicker.

The trio decided to go down to breakfast. Ron trailed behind the dynamic duo a bit; needed to talk to Lavender, he said. He watched in amusement as Hermione's hands, waving about in explanation of some theory she was expounding, came closer and closer to grabbing Harry's wrist. Wave, wave, wave, aaaaaaaand grab! There it was! And there was the jolt. Both blushed immediately and Ron clapped a hand over Lavender's mouth to stop the giggles. A moment later than was strictly necessary, Hermione dropped Harry's wrist, and both looked disappointed for the loss. Parvati's sudden cough had a distinct ring of laughter in it.

Breakfast was an amusing affair as well, with suspiciously synchronized movements toward the platters of food that resulted several coincidental touches. On the way back, Harry and Hermione "accidentally" brushed hands no less than seven times. Ron was sure of this, as he was counting.

And so it continued through out the day. Hermione found numerous opportunities to grab Harry's arm. Such as when Dean and Seamus decided to release Chocolate Frogs in Potions. Normally, Hermione wouldn't be bothered at all by such a juvenile prank (unworthy of seventh years, really. Chocolate Frogs? Strictly first year stuff.), but if today she felt rather twitchy and was grabbing Harry's arm and just happening to touch his wrist, who was Gryffindor to argue?

Harry, never the most tactile person in the world, suddenly needed to consult with Hermione on everything in very close quarters. Ron was unceremoniously dumped as a Potions partner and poor Neville struggled through the class as Harry unapologetically stole Hermione to become his new partner and discovered innumerable ways to drop his hand next to hers on the table. Every class that they shared was simply far too loud for proper conversation and he needed sidle up to her and whisper, lips just happening to brush her ear. That little trick nearly caused Parvati to faint at the unresolved sexual tension of it all. Hermione was none too steady for it either.

The greatest triumph of the day, however, came when, upon returning to the Tower after dinner, Hermione gave the password, the painting swung towards them and Harry put his hand on the small of her back to usher her forward. The Team watched in amazement as Harry's fingers gripped the bottom of Hermione's jumper, pulled it up a bit and then trailed quickly across her exposed skin. Hermione stiffened a bit, but neither made any comment and both went into the common room.

There was a sort of collective strangled gasp that came from the Team, who stopped dead at the entrance. They stared at the spot Hermione and Harry had just occupied. No one said a word for a few moments. Lavender made an incoherent noise. Parvati whimpered softly. "Did...did he just...Harry pulled...he touched...what...what just happened?" Seamus finally managed.

"Harry just felt her up," Dean whispered, awed by what he had just witnessed.

"It's like my world just turned upside down," Ginny muttered. "Right and wrong have no meaning. Black is white and white is black. Harry just groped Hermione!"

"Well, honestly, he hardly groped her," Lavender pointed out. "He just--"

"Hiked up her sweater and deliberately touched her skin," Parvati interrupted. "He didn't grope, but he definitely felt her up. Stop trying to ruin the moment."

"I'm just saying we shouldn't get too ahead of ourselves!" Lavender retorted hotly. "He touched her back; he didn't grab her and shag in the middle of the Great Hall!"

Seamus shook his head. "If I tried that with Hermione, she would have hexed me into next year, if she could get her wand out before Harry. That's of course assuming he had decided to not bypass the magical option completely and just beat me with his bare hands. No, that was a clear-cut move that Harry made and Hermione didn't mind it at all," he said definitively.

Dean sniffed and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Our Harry's growing up and becoming a man!"

Parvati looked crossly at him. "And what would you know about becoming a man?"

After standing stock still for the entire duration of the conversation, Ron's eye twitched. Then he began to cackle. And cackle. And cackle. The rest of the Team looked on in concern and a bit of terror as Ron laughed and rubbed his hands together, but he paid them no mind. Everything was falling into place. They were finally giving into their hormones. Declarations of true love were not far behind, he was sure of it.

He was going to be free. Gloriously free!