The Joy of Manual Labor

"I is Winky, a house elf. Winky is coming here to tell you why we house elves is the way we are. Winky is very sure you have heard of the Miss Hermione Granger, no? I is not wanting to be rude to Miss Granger, but she is not understanding the joy of manual labor. She think we house elves are unhappy. But we is not! Oh no! We very much enjoy serving our mas - masters. Oh do not worry, I is quite over my dear, great, wonderful ma - master. Oh yes. Although Winky is not agreeing that we should be paid with wages, Miss Granger is showing me what wrong my master did. Although he did not mean it! He is only being carrying out wishes of his dead wife, yes master is. But back to the joy of manual labor. We house elves enjoying following orders, and providing masters and families with easier lifestyle, oh yes. We is only wishing to pay back families for taking us in, which is noble, indeed. That is why Winky and fellow house elves not accepting pay nor freedom. We do not need it becau ---"

"But house elves IS needing pay Winky! House elves should be paid, and given clothes! Dobby is thinking clothes is bestest part of being free. Yes, Dobby is thinking that. Socks are very nice! I is thinking socks are nicest part of clothes which is nicest part of being free. Set house elves free! They is needing it!"

"Bad Dobby! I is here to tell families we house elves enjoy serving them! And you is coming to interrupt by encouraging them to set us free! You is like Miss Granger, Dobby! She and that spew thing. Not a good idea to ---"

"It is S.P.E.W, Winky! S.P.E.W! Not 'spew.' And freedom to house elves is very very good! Sir Harry Potter, bless him, is showing Dobby that freedom is very good thing. He is showing me masters are terr --- Bad Dobby! Oh waits! I is free now and may speak of old masters in anyway I wish! Tis another nice thing about being free! Dobby is now free to speak whatever he wants about, and does not need to punish himself, no!"

"Still is not nice to say things like that Dobby! Just because Dobby is free to say what he likes does not make the things he say nice to say. You is needing to punish yourself for being so rude! See all you masters and mistresses out there? Tis what happens to a house elf when set free! They --- they go mad!"

"I is not mad!"

"Is too!"

"Is not! Dobby is requesting low wages and few days off to make especially sure I do not go mad! I is just fine, Winky! You is being the one needing help!"

"I is not needing help!"

"Is too! You not notice that house elves is being enslaved! Well . . .just a little bit."

"Thank you Dobby! My point exactly!"

"Miss Granger! You is here to defend Dobby's thoughts, yes? Because Winky is not listening to what I is saying! Not a word!"

"Well Winky, Dobby is not saying that you need special help or anything." Although I quite support the idea . . . "But being free can give a house elf so much! You can have freedom, and days off, and ---"

"Socks!"

"Erm, yeah. That too. Being free makes you happy, and being happy makes you healthy, and being healthy makes you live longer, and living longer . . . what I mean is that you can have so much! See how happy Dobby is by being free? He has so much, and it makes him happy! He's got everything like a normal magical person has ---"

"Like socks!"

"Yes, Dobby. You have socks. But I mean, you must be very tired, and overworked. And its just not fair for you and the rest of the house elves to suffer so much for nothing. No, no. I know you think you love the life of a house elf. But in the yes of other people like me, we see a hard life for such wonderful creatures as yourself. You need to become free, Winky. Believe me, it'll be much better once you have wages, and weekdays ---"

"And socks, miss! Do not forget ---"

"I is already knowing of your socks, Dobby! It is being enough talking, okay? I is still wishing to keep myself working for free. And you, Miss Granger, is not changing Winky's ideas about the joy of manual labor."