Half Life

Half Life


Draco Malfoy. Sex god extraordinaire and Hogwart's number one bad boy.

What a load of bullshit.

Take it from someone who knows; he is no sex god. He's actually rather bland in bed. He always has to be on the top. I think he has some control issues. And it's pretty much all about him getting pleasure. At first I would fake orgasm. Maybe that was what made his ego grow so big. All that faking went straight to his head. Eventually I stopped pretending, but he just thought it was my fault, not his. Bastard.

And about him being a bad boy; what a joke! He makes fun of the famous Harry Potter and his loyal sidekicks and suddenly he's Mr. Hot Shot Rebel. Oh please. He's more of a pansy than I am. Haha. Sorry, bad joke, I know. Seriously though, he is a big coward. He doesn't let on, but he's terrified of his father. That's why he tries so hard to get his father's approval. What a pussy. I almost can't wait until he becomes a Death Eater. On his first encounter with the Dark Lord, he will shit his pants. I swear.

The only reason I put up with him is because of my parents. My parents, a well as his, have decided that he is to be my betrothed. As much as I despise the thought of being married to the schmuck, I will do it without complaint, because it's what my parents want of me. It's either that or be disowned, and I cannot have that.

I hate that we have to keep doing this. Arranging marriages from birth. I understand why, though. To assure that we manage to keep the pureblood lines running. I know how important that is, I just wish they'd let me choose my own husband. I would never disgrace the Parkinson family by marrying a mudblood or even a half-blood.

The rules in which I have to abide by are so frustrating. I cannot do anything that could tarnish my reputation. Such as date anyone else or, God forbid, do worse. Yet Draco doesn't have those rules. It's not stated that he's able to fool around with others, but it's looked over if he does. So, while I have to be a good, loyal little girl, he's out fucking others. Fair, huh? There's even a rumor that he's doing Potter and that their fighting is a facade. I don't believe that, though. You should hear some of the nasty stuff he says about the boy.

I remember I tried starting another relationship once, but that didn't end well. Word got back to my parents and they were not happy. Let's just say I'm definitely not going to make the same mistake again.

So now I have to pretend I'm head over heals in love with Draco Malfoy. It sickens me, but I will continue to do so. I'll become a good wife. The perfect wife. I'll give him an heir to continue the Malfoy name. Give him a son to be proud of. I may not wind up having a loving husband, but at least I know I will be able to have children who will love me.

But I've still got a few years to go. First we must graduate, and then Draco and I will be married. After that we will be initiated as Death Eaters. Finally, after all that is said and done, I will be able to settle down and have a child. I guess until then I'll just have to continue being alone.

My mother tells me I will grow to love him. I don't know if I believe her. I'm sure I may stop despising him. Maybe I will start to care for him, but I don't think I can ever love him.

This is my destiny. Perhaps the word "fate" would be more appropriate. Either way, I accept it. I may not approve, but I accept it. There's nothing I can do to change it and I know it.

I hope with my all heart, that it won't be this way for my children. I hope that they will be able to choose the one they love. Because this is a half-life. I'm just a tool used for procreation.

I know I'm not really living.

I'm existing.