Comfortably Numb - An Alternate Ending

Comfortably Numb

I love him so much, Hermione thought as she looked at the young man sitting across from her. She watched as Harry chewed on his lower lip, engrossed in the book he was reading. She watched the way his chest rose and fell with his deep even breaths; the way he absentmindedly drew circles with his finger on the table top.

Emerald eyes met brown.

"What is it?" Harry asked, confusion filling his face.

Hermiones eyes grew wide with the realization that she had been caught staring. She looked down at the table, blushing.

"Oh, nothing."

Harry's face filled with laughter. "What, do I have something in my teeth?"

She laughed, "Oh no. It's not that."

"Then what is it? Did I write on my face?" She shook her head. "My hair a mess?"

"Always," she said with a giggle.

Oh god. Did I just giggle?

Harry grinned.

Hermione felt her face grow warm again. She looked away, frowning.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked with concern. He stood up and crossed to the chair next to her.

"It's nothing, really," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You're lying to me."

"No, I'm not."

"Hermione, look at me," he said gently. She took a deep breathe and looked up into his face. "Now tell me what's the matter."

Hermione struggled to keep her breath even, as she realized how close their faces were.

Does he want to kiss me? she asked herself. Kiss him. Just lean forward and kiss him.

"Hermi-"

She cut him off by quickly pressing her lips against his.

Mmm, tastes like pumpkin juice, Hermione noted. She noticed that his lips felt remarkably soft as she pressed hers harder against his.

Something's not right, she thought, as she realized he wasn't returning her kiss.

She opened her eyes and pulled away. She saw him looking at her uncomfortably. His posture seemed rather stiff and his eyes didn't meet hers.

What have I done...

"Hermione?"

"I'm really sorry. I don't know what has come over me. I really shouldn't have done that. I swear, it must be the stress of all my school work affecting me" she trailed off. She looked away from him and turned bright red.

"Hermione, I love you." She looked at him with hope in her eyes. "But as a friend." She felt her heart drop to her stomach. "You are a beautiful girl and could do so much better than me. Now...I just can't be with anybody right now. And...I just don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

With a pained expression, he stood up and quickly began gathering his things. Without a backwards glance, he left Hermione in the empty library.

As she watched him leave, she felt a single tear fall from her glistening eyes.

Feeling as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest, she slowly gathered up her belongings and left the dark library, walking as if she were a zombie void if all feeling. As she continued walking up to the common room, a feeling of calm washed over her. She felt undisturbed with the realization that she was comfortably numb. She entered the empty common room and went straight to the girls dormitory.

She crossed to her bed and laid down. She lay there as if in a trance, one that she would never awaken from. After a moment, she felt a warm single tear slide down her face. She closed her eyes, trying to suppress the tears from flowing, knowing that if she failed she would never stop. With a sob escaping her throat, she surrendered herself to the pain that she knew would forever remain with her.