The Trouble With Harry

The Trouble with Harry

Chapter 5: How Love Works...In Theory

"I hope he's okay. That's the second fight he's got in today. I just don't know what's wrong with him." Harry looked towards the shore where Hagrid was leading Ron and Draco away towards the castle.

"Maybe he's just having a bad day. We all have those sometimes."

Harry looked to Neville and smiled. "Yeah, I guess. But recently it seems as if Ron is redefining the meaning of 'sometimes'. I worry about him."

"He's lucky to have a friend like you Harry."

Harry sighed. "Thanks Neville. I wish Ron thought so too...but the way he's been acting...well never mind. It's not important right now. Maybe we should start heading in. I think I'll start to get seasick if we stay out here any longer."

"So have we got our creatures then?"

"Oh, I'd forgot about that." He looked into the bucket pulling out some seaweed floating at the top.

"Yep, we got it. Want a look?" Neville slid over on the plank and peered down into the bucket at the carp sized worm.

"Ugly little buggers aren't they?" said Harry.

"Yeah. They have a pretty bad sting too."

"Have you been stung before?"

"No. My father has," said Neville impassively.

Harry shifted uncomfortably on the seat.

Neville continued, "Actually it was at this lake. He and my mum had taken one of the boats out in seventh year and he got stung when he let his hand trail in the water. He and mum loved to go out in the boats.

Harry nodded.

"They fell in love on this lake. Or that's what my grandma told me once." Neville paused and gave Harry a considering glance before he continued. "You know Harry, I'm really sorry about your parents. I hope it's not wrong of me to say. I just haven't ever told you before. Because I know what it's like you know?"

Harry nodded dumbly taken by surprise. Neville chuckled a bit. "We're sort of in the same boat...so to speak."

Harry smiled uncertainly. What could he say to that? Neville was being so frank with him. It was odd coming from the shy boy. 'The least I could do is reciprocate,' he supposed.

"Er...Neville, I've never found a good time to tell you, but...I know about your parents."

Neville looked at him bewildered.

"What?"

"I know about what happened to your mum and dad. I know what the Death Eaters did to them. I've known since fourth year. I don't mean to upset you but I thought you should know. I know it's not my business but...I'm sorry."

Neville smiled at him.

"That's okay Harry. I'd be stupid if I thought that no one would ever find out. I'm surprised more people don't know actually. I'm kind of glad. I've never been able to tell anyone. It kind of feels like a release that someone knows. Actually..." he trailed off.

"What? What is it Neville?" asked Harry kindly.

"Well...I've been having a little bit of trouble with it lately. Have you ever felt like the war wasn't over Harry? I mean I know it is and everything...but...well I don't know."

"No, I think I know what you're saying. And yes. Sometimes I feel that way. I think we all do."

"No! Not the way I feel it," said Neville fiercely, surprising Harry.

"Neville - ."

"Harry, I don't have any parents. They're insane. They don't know who I am. My parents don't even recognize my name. I have no one. And I'm nothing. At least the last sentiment of your parents you have was of them loving you, and they left you with a name and friends and talent! At least your parents are dead and you don't have to see them in anything but the perfect light!"

Harry looked aghast, his bright eyes wide.

Neville gasped.

"Oh my god, Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I'm so sorry! I just, I just miss them. And I have no one and no one understands. No one can."

Harry sighed. "Neville, you're wrong. About all of it."

Neville looked at him skeptically.

"You're not without talent Neville. You wouldn't be here if you were. And people do care. They will understand if you let them. I know I care. And if anyone, I definitely understand. I don't have parents. And I miss them too. All the time." He nudged the boy gently, "like you said we're in the same boat here."

Neville smiled at him.

"Thanks Harry."

"Look, if you ever need to talk...well you have friends who want to help. You can always talk to me. Everyone needs someone to talk to. You should talk to Hermione too. You know she's a smart witch. Maybe she can help you out in some way. She was your friend even before I was. Right?"

"Yeah I guess. Just...what if she decides it's too much trouble. I mean she's been looking out for me since the beginning. I'd feel bad to burden her. I don't want her to think I'm a more of a chore than I've been already."

"Neville, you know her better than that. She wouldn't think you're a burden. Talk to her. I talk to her for you too if you'd like."

Harry looked the boy over as Neville nodded resignedly.

"Neville, how are you doing really?"

He sighed.

"I don't sleep well. I'm not eating well either. I get so down sometimes. I'm not doing well at all."

Harry nodded.

"Then we need to get you feeling better don't we? Look, class is over. We can talk more tonight okay? I'm going to tell Hermione too. She's your friend and she should know."

"Okay. Sure."

"Good."

Harry picked up an oar. Neville followed his lead and they paddled back to shore.

***

Harry walked down into the library to find Hermione sitting at a table a pile of books surrounding her and a parchment on which there were notes written in her neat curved hand. Harry plopped down next to her.

"Where were you? You missed Care of Magical Creatures."

"I know. I got permission to skip the class. We were only doing nematodes, which I already know all about. Though they are quite interesting creatures really. The ones at Hogwarts are basically unique to their species. They're much larger than the ones you find anywhere else. They're actually not magical creatures originally but once exposed to magic they seem to have an adverse sort of reaction and grow from their microscopic existence to the size of large rats and exhibit magical tendencies. They feed off of - ."

"This is all very interesting Hermione, but your point was..."

"I was in the library. I needed to revise for my Arithmancy class. Hagrid said I could take the class off because he knew I'd spend the time productively and nematodes aren't important to the curriculum or the NEWTs."

"Oh."

"Are you alright Harry? You don't seem to be in a very good mood."

"I'm fine. Just tired I guess. I was talking to Neville today."

"Oh? You know I was talking to him today too. I've noticed he seems to be ill a lot lately. He wouldn't tell me what's wrong. I'm a little worried about him."

"Yeah me too. He told me he's having problems because of his parents."

"His parents? I thought they died a long time ago."

"Well no. They're not dead. Voldemort put them in St. Mungo's. In the insanity ward."

"Oh my God. Neville told you this?"

"No I've known since fourth year. When I looked in Dumbledore's pensive, I saw the trial of the Death Eaters that did it. Neville brought up his parents today during class and I told him I knew about it. He's really having a tough time. We're sort of alike you know."

"Yes, Voldemort took your parents from you."

Harry nodded. "I think we need to help him Hermione. I think if he had someone to talk to he could feel better. We're his friends. We can't let him waste away."

"No, we can't."

"I know you were planning to revise tonight but I told Neville we'd talk to him for a bit tonight after my detention. Is that okay?"

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course it's okay Harry. He's my friend too, you know. I'm not that school obsessed am I?"

Harry grinned. "No, you aren't. Thanks Hermione, this means a lot to me. And it will mean so much to Neville. You have no idea how much he respects you."

She smiled back and then frowned.

"Say, where's Ron?"

"He's with Hagrid. He got into another fight with Malfoy."

"What? What was he thinking? That's the second time today!"

"I know. He's not acting himself at all. I've noticed some changes since last year after the whole Voldemort thing, but it's got worse just this week. I thought it might just be a bit of what we were all feeling afterwards. I mean everyone changed some for it. But I'm not sure anymore. That's actually another thing I want to talk to you about. I was mulling it over after lunch today. I have a theory."

"Oh?"

"I think it's because of me."

"What?"

"I think he's acting strange because of me."

Hermione could hardly contain her excitement. Maybe this problem would sort itself out after all. This was wonderful! Now she wouldn't have to get involved. Just before Harry had come in she had actually been thinking over the matter in between working her Arithmancy problems. It was quite distracting until she had finally come to a conclusion.

There was no two ways about it. She'd simply keep out of the whole mess and keep her mouth shut. Meddling would just get her in trouble, and possibly leave everyone mad at her. It would be a challenge considering her meddlesome, or rather helpful problem-solving nature, but for the sake of keeping her friends and her sanity, she would not say a word. And now, to her immense relief, she probably wouldn't even have to think about it.

"Why don't you explain that Harry," she said calmly.

"Well he's been mad at me a lot lately. He has unpredictable mood swings. He goes from considering me his brother to refusing to speak to me. He's always so sullen lately and he seems to be brooding. I can see him thinking sometimes as if he's oblivious to the world. I think...well I think he's in love."

'Perhaps Harry isn't so thick after all,' thought Hermione with glee. She could hardly stay in her seat. She couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment for Harry's realization, along with the relief that flooded through her. It was like Christmas come early. It was like winning the House Cup. It was like finally solving a particularly difficult Arithmancy problem. It was pure elation.

"Yes! Yes, that's right. I think you're right Harry. How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know yet. You mean he's told you?"

"No, but I guessed a long time ago."

She gave him a smug little grin and relaxed back into her chair.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"And it doesn't bother you?"

"No, not at all."

"But Draco Malfoy? How can that not bother you?"

"W-What?" she sputtered, choking on her own surprise.

"How does it not bother you that our best friend is in love with Malfoy?"

"He's in love with Malfoy?"

"Yeah. Who did you think?"

"Well...I umm...I don't know."

'What now?' she thought frantically. 'Tell him. You need to tell him.'

"Yeah. I didn't figure it out until today. His mooning about, his change. The way he's always glaring at Draco. And this morning after you left the dungeons, I helped Draco up off the ground. You didn't see the look Ron gave me. I think he was mad at me for getting so close to the object of his affection. And you know how Ron is with jealousy sometimes."

'Tell him, tell him!'

"Umm, Harry..."

"And during lunch. He was asking me all these weird questions about Malfoy, like what I thought of him. He was getting all agitated. I think he was worried. You know, that we might not accept it."

'Tell him, tell him, tellhimtellhim..."

"Harry, I don't think - ."

"I just wish he trusted me enough to be forthright with me instead of moping about like he does. He should at least talk to me right? I'm his best friend aren't I? I'd accept him. I might not like it, but still I'd accept it. And to think he's jealous on top of that. Why would he think he needed to worry about me? Malfoy may be good looking and all that, but considering our history together, well he's really not my type, and I don't even understand how Ron of all people could end up in love with the git. He's had it worse than I have. Malfoy doesn't even spare him the least bit of courtesy in the insults department."

Hermione sat slumped, shaking her head as Harry went on with his spiel, oblivious to her torment. What could she do? She had to tell him right? 'It's not your business Hermione,' said the part of her that wanted to wipe her hands of it all and go back to her books. But she had to tell him. Harry was her friend. 'But so is Ron and he'll kill you if you tell.' She shook her head as Harry spoke.

"Ron deserves so much better. He deserves someone who could love him back completely and who cares about him."

'It's not your business Hermione, it's none of your sodding business!' Then it was settled. Ron needed the chance to tell Harry himself. She couldn't embarrass her friends by getting involved. She would say nothing. 'It will work itself out Hermione,' she reassured herself.

"Malfoy will only hurt him. Hell Ron's hurting already at his hands. And I have to just sit back and watch it happen."

"I know how you feel," mumbled Hermione pinching the bridge of her nose as Harry continued without pause.

"And why? Because I'm his friend, that's why. I'm his friend and I care."

'Oh Harry,' thought Hermione looking at the flustered boy sitting next to her.

"But you know what? If Ron wants Malfoy then he should have him. I want him to be happy. He's my best friend and if this is what he wants then it's okay by me. I'll support him. God help Malfoy if he hurts him, but I'll support this. Because Ron's my friend."

"Good for you Harry," said Hermione with a defeated sigh.

"Thanks for the talk Hermione. You really brought me around. Come on, it's time for History."

Hermione sighed deeply as she got up with Harry and walked out of the library. Leave it to Harry to make her life more complicated.