The Secret Diary of Cho Chang Aged 15 and 3/4

There was just one more thing I needed to do though, in order to get my life back on track.

Well, maybe more than one, but I needed to say Goodbye to Cedric properly, and I didn't need to wait too long.

September 28^th

Today is or rather should have been Cedric's eighteenth birthday. I've decided to go down to the Quidditch Pitch. I just need a bit of time to myself and to think things over.

9:30am

I've told April to cover for me in Charms. I couldn't go to lessons, not today. I know that I'm not being particularly bright by bunking off and going down to the Quidditch Pitch, but, I don't care. I managed to get a yellow rose from one of the Herbology greenhouses, it just seemed fitting. I put it in the centre of the ground and looked up at the sky. It was, quite unusually, a clear and sunny morning. I scrambled up to the benches and just looked at the rose.

"Hello Cedric. Happy Birthday. I know that even though you're not here in body, you're here in spirit. You're always around. This place has been so different without you. It's weird, we weren't even together that long, and I know we weren't what you would call 'love's young dream,' but you were a kind and decent man. You didn't deserve to die."

I got up from the bench and went over to the rose and sat down, crossed legged in the middle of the pitch.

"I wanted to do something for your birthday. I wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten you. Not that I would, of course. It just didn't seem right that I could let this day pass without some sort of celebration," I sighed, "It's weird you not being here, have I already said that? Sometimes I forget what I've said or done. The Quidditch season hasn't started yet, so I can't tell you whom they've got to take over from you. Did Hufflepuff have any reserves? Ravenclaw are going to be doing some trials for reserves soon. I'll have to be a coach! Imagine that!"

I picked up the rose and twirled it around in my hands.

"Yellow. It's such a bright and happy colour. I couldn't think of what else to get you for your birthday."

I looked around the pitch and up in the sky. In my mind's eye I saw the Ravenclaw v Hufflepuff game from two years ago. We won, of course, but I think that's when Cedric first noticed me. My mind went on to the Gryffindor v Ravenclaw match that same year. The first time I'd seen Harry Potter up close.

"I've been a bit of a loner recently and, if I'm honest, a bit of a bitch. I was totally out of order to Harry when I saw him on this pitch. George has helped. You know, George Weasley? He's been a real diamond to me. He listens to me, helps me, advises me. Honestly Cedric, one of the infamous Weasley twins! I don't think I could have got through the beginning of the year if it wasn't for him. No, I know I couldn't have. Mind you, you probably know that, don't you?"

I remembered how Cedric had asked me to the Yule Ball. I was so shocked! I laughed to myself.

"Remember Cedric, remember how completely stunned I was by your invitation? I had a good night that night, we both did." I sighed again as I remembered.

"Mum has been so worried about me this year. So has my older sister. You must remember me talking about her? Michelle? I just couldn't understand why you had died. It just made no sense to me. I think Mum must have owled Professor Dumbledore before the start of term as he asked me to go and see him. He was very kind. He talks a lot of sense. You know, it's not wrong for me to want to get on with my life, but it's not wrong to forget about the past Cedric. I won't forget you. Ever. I just wanted to say that to you."

I must have stayed at the Quidditch Pitch for quite a while. I just drifted off into a daydream. When I came too, I went back up to my dorm. I just lay on my bed, hands behind my head and was like that when April came in.

"Cho? Cho, what's the matter?" she asked.

I motioned for her to come over to where I was lying. I looked at her and sighed, "April, I'm so sorry that I've given you cause for concern over the past few months. It's been a really tough time for me, and I never meant to shut you out," I pulled her close to me in a hug. "I think I was afraid of really getting on with my life. I was frightened that I would forget about Cedric, I know, I know we weren't the school's answer to Romeo and Juliet," I had to explain who Romeo and Juliet were to April as she'd never heard of them. "But we had fun, we had a good time together." I released my grip on her, "Today is Cedric's birthday, and I wanted to say good bye to him properly. I feel as though now is the right time to say goodbye to him, and to start getting on with my life. I mean it this time, but," I looked to April and she was staring at me with those big blue eyes of hers, "Will you help me?"

This time she pulled me into a hug, "Cho, you don't know how pleased I am to hear you say that. Or how worried I've been about you. I've been speaking to George Weasley a lot as well." I pulled away and she must have seen how surprised I was, and she went bright red!

"April Scorpio, you sly old dog!" She blushed even more, "I'm really pleased for you. Really."

"He's been worried about you as well," April said, determined to change the subject. "He was pretty annoyed after your outburst at Harry. George said that Harry has had an awful start to the year, and I think you having a go at him was the icing on the cake. That's an old muggle saying, don't you know?"

She grabbed me in a bear hug, "Cho, I've been so worried about you. I'm glad that you seem to be coming through the worst of it. Remember, you're never by yourself. I am always here for you. Always."

I sighed; I knew that I had been totally out of order to him. I needed to apologise to him, and I needed to do it soon.

There was one problem. I was scared.