The Secret Diary of Cho Chang Aged 15 and 3/4

September 10th

Dear Mum,

Thought I'd just drop you a quick owl to say that everything is fine here.

April has already wound the others up with her constant tidying up. I mean, she's doing the house-elves out of a job! Everything else is fine - my schoolwork is much harder this year. Honestly, don't these teachers know I've got Quidditch Practice to do as well as everything else?

Love to Dad. Tell Michelle I'll owl her when Andromeda gets back with your reply.

Cho

There. I never mentioned Snape, or the house points I lost, or the talk I had with George. I mean, what is the point in worrying her? She would be owling Professor Dumbledore quicker than you could say "Ravenclaw".

Detention with Snape, I've just tried to forget about that Diary, which is why I've not written here for a few days.

I hate Snape

I hate Snape

I hate Snape

It was as if my footsteps were making the sound as I walked down to the dungeons. I don't mind admitting, I was scared. I knew that he would pounce as soon as I walked in there. I just can't believe that I forgot about detention. Too busy shouting at Harry and feeling sorry for myself to remember it.

I steeled myself as I opened the door to the dungeons - I mean I was only 45 minutes late.

Well, maybe a bit more than 45 minute's late, but that's not the point.

I looked around the class, and there he was, swooping down on some poor second year who looked like he was going to burst into tears.

He turned around, and with a malicious look on his face, in front of the class, (which I noticed had George in it), he started speaking:

"Well, well Miss Chang. How gracious of you to actually bother to turn up for your detention. I'm sure that your social diary is fit to bursting since you've been back at school, but nevertheless, welcome." He pointed to his desk. "Stand there. Do not move. I will deal with you once I've dealt with this poor excuse for a Gryffindor."

I walked over to his desk, I caught George's eye and he winked at me, I gave a half smile back.

I stood waiting at Snape's desk for which felt like an eternity. What was that sadistic, greasy haired git going to do? What else was he going to say?

He bore down on me, evil glint in his eye.

"Miss Chang. Truly, I am honoured that you felt the need to cancel your engagement with Mr. Potter." (How did he know I was with Harry?) "I realise that he has many fans, you amongst them no doubt, so thank you for fitting us into your celebrity lifestyle. Now, I usually save this punishment for my most incapable students and going by your performance since the start of the term you are right up there with them. My first year class on Monday needs to have their toads disemboweled. Naturally, I couldn't expect them to do it properly. The bucket is on the desk in front of the class clown over there. Move." He pointed to a dirty old bucket in front of George. I walked over to the bucket, stunned.

DISEMBOWELING TOADS!

I looked into the bucket, and saw loads of them, all dead. There must have been about forty in there.

DISEMBOWELING TOADS!

I didn't think my loathing for Snape could get any worse. I was wrong.

I turned around to George. God knows what he was doing for Snape; it looked right up there with what I was doing. He had a big grin on his face though, as if to show Snape that whatever he was doing, he wouldn't let Snape get to him.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"It wasn't my fault," he whispered back, "It was Lee and Fred's fault. They sent a shampooing spell over to him. So, he walked about in our class with never-ending foam coming out of his head and which wand did they use? Mine. He went ballistic! I've got detention for the next two months! I mean, he came straight over to us anyway. I mean, he didn't go over to Angelina or Katie, did he?"

It was amazing, he sounded indignant even though he was in the wrong! I turned away, steeling myself for the job Snape had given me.

I started disemboweling the toads; all the while my conversation with Harry was replaying in my head. I was disgusted with myself. I'd already noticed how badly he looked, no doubt plagued with guilt, just as I was. How dare I load my self-pity on to him? I really wanted to talk to someone about it. I couldn't really talk to any of my room-mates; I mean they only knew Harry as "The Boy Who Lived". I turned around and surveyed George while he was doing his job. I coughed quietly to get his attention.

He looked up and I said quietly and quickly, "George, can we speak after detention? I really need to talk to someone."

He smiled at me. "Of course."

Detention lasted for about three years. Well, it felt like that, I never knew that toads had so much 'gunk' inside them. If I ever see another toad again, I'm going to step on it, therefore saving anyone else the trouble of disemboweling the sodding thing. All the while Snape walked past me sighing or tutting. I'm sure I heard him mutter something like, "How the mighty have fallen." I don't know, in fact, I don't care. I'd have loved to have been in that class when his head wouldn't stop shampooing itself. No wonder George is in detention until the end of time!

After I had finished my job (hmph), I looked around to see what everyone else was doing, or to see if anyone else had finished.

Snape declared in front of the whole class that everyone present would be expected to come back for another detention next Saturday. I swear, where other people have a heart he has a lump of coal.

"Miss Chang, Mr. Winslow, you may leave. I shall see you both next week. That is," and he turned and stared at me. "If other engagements don't crop up before then." I turned around and looked at what must have been the Gryffindor second year, he wasn't near tears anymore, he was in tears.

I turned to George, before I could say anything; he whispered that he would meet me by the lake in thirty minutes. I smiled at him and went upstairs to my room to try and get the dead toad guts off my hands and from underneath my nails.

I waited at the lake for George. It was a nice sunny day and the weather had improved from earlier on, so I just sat down on the grass. I was trying to work out what I was going to say to George, I mean, he knew Harry really well; I was also trying to work out what I could say to Harry when I saw him. Never let it be said that a Ravenclaw will shirk from their responsibilities. I knew I had done the wrong thing, and I was big enough to admit it. Actually, that's a lie, I just wanted to go and hide in the Forbidden Forest and try and forget what happened.

I had waited about forty minutes when I saw George coming along with a bag. He flopped down beside me and said, "I'm starving, the house-elves gave me some food. I thought you might be hungry." He looked right through me as if daring me to disagree.

"Sure, good idea," I replied.

We were just sitting around, not saying anything, and to be honest, I did find myself being hungry, so I ate what he gave me. We were just lazing around on the grass, looking up at the sky and just watching the world go by.

George propped himself up on one elbow and started talking, "So, what's this about Cho? What's so important you wanted to talk to me after Snape's detention?"

I looked back up at him and I found I couldn't look at him properly. I sat up, elbows resting on the ground as I surveyed the lake. I closed my eyes and it all came out in one big rush. How I had shouted at Harry, the self-loathing I felt after my outburst, the loss of sleep, the loss of appetite. Everything. All the while George just listened to me, he didn't interrupt; he just listened. It was like a big weight being taken off my shoulders.

All this time I had wanted someone to talk to, but was so afraid of being a burden. I took a deep breath and continued. "I think what frightens me the most, George, is that I'll become this sad and bitter woman, who can't get on with her life. I know Cedric's gone, I've accepted that. I need to carry on with my life; no amount of moping will bring him back. I mean, it's not as if we were married, or getting married. I think what I find the hardest thing to accept is that he was so young, he was in the Tri-wizard competition which took up all his time, and he was going to win it and then, nothing. He's just gone. Now it's up to us to pick up the pieces. You know what?" I looked at George, "I still sometimes see him around, in the cloisters, on the Quidditch Pitch but it's not so often now. Its like I'm forgetting what he looks like. I don't want to do that but I owe it to him and to myself to get on with my life. I know I need help. I am so sick of feeling tired and sick and old before my time. I need to get a few things straight in my head. I need to apologise to Harry for being such a cow. I had no right to shout at him like that, it's just..."

George looked at me. "You're feeling guilty because you like him." It was a statement, not a question.

You know what, he was right; it was something that I'd never really admitted to myself. I didn't really answer George; I just shrugged and looked down at the grass.

He put a comforting arm around my shoulders and spoke quietly, "You know Cho, I think it's great that you seem to have gotten over this huge barrier that you put up when Cedric died. However it really doesn't give you the right to have a go at Harry, or isolate yourself from your friends. I know this isn't what you want to hear but I never said I was the sympathetic type." I looked straight into his eyes. "Go find Harry, apologise, just leave it at that, if anything is going to happen, it will, just don't rush yourself, otherwise you'll be right back to where you started."

He stood up and offered his hand to me. He pulled me up and smiled. "You know what Cho? I think you'll be alright."

I smiled back. "I think so too."