So it was raining and I was dancing

So it was raining and I was dancing.

You know, spinning around, looking up, splashing.

The raindrops looked a bit like little diamonds if I squinted. Cool, comforting beads slid gracefully down my face, rolled off my twirling arms, slithered through my hair and down the back of my neck. The sky was a lethargic ageratum blue, the rolling clouds lazily stretching across the eternal expanse. The grass was choked by mud, seeping greasily through my toes. A few feet away, rivulets were running off of the pavement into the fresh, feral emerald lawn.

Looking up, I imagined that I was blind. The bland monotony of the clouds made it easy. To think that the only color I would ever see again was this stony, dull blue...I couldn't formulate a future like that in my wandering mind. My memories, my awareness of everything other than the here and now, my sense of self, were balanced idly in the air somewhere to my left, waiting patiently for me to return to the pavement and put on my shoes. I was just there, spinning, stupid and happy, experimenting with the essence of my own existence.

I kept spinning, faster and faster, and shut my eyes. The simplicity of dancing in the rain, the magnificence of it, sifted the lead out of my veins for a moment. My loneliness morphed into a proud, satisfied autonomy. I could feel something inside me, waiting to burst out. Was it laughter? Tears? A kiss or two for an innocent passerby? Something very important that had to be told? And what was it waiting for?

I let go, I could feel myself disappearing, disintegrating quietly into the surrounding space. I bled through the sky, floating higher and elongating like a gas, until I was everywhere, not seeing, not hearing, not feeling, not even breathing; just being. Was this peace?

My nirvana dissipated slowly as I grew more and more aware of something slightly skewed. I fell back into my revolving body, sucked by an imaginary vacuum into the most comfortable prison I could hope for. My senses reawakened. The soft tapping of rain had disappeared, and the pleasant coolness had transformed into a pleasant warmth. I could feel things whooshing past me, and I knew they were no longer raindrops.

I opened my eyes.

As I was looking up, the first thing I noticed was that the clouds had turned black, as if some clumsy divinity had knocked his inkpot over on the puny world at his feet. But punctuating the darkness were little beads of light; tiny falling stars. They lifted and swirled like the lightest snow, bouncing off of me, off of everything, in their search for a suitable place to fade. I felt their weight, though, as they rolled off my arms and face. They were heavy. Heavy with life.

A beautiful amazement overtook me, and I slowly stopped spinning. I had created that marvel, I knew it; I imagined that this was the sense of celestial recognition that a mother felt looking at her newborn child. This was the first taste I'd ever had of my own power, at least on such a majestic scale.

I breathed in. The air smelled fresh with something I couldn't quite name. Something tugged at my lips, and my face relaxed into the ever-comfortable half smile that everyone has; the secret one reserved for personal achievement, contentment, and not for anyone else.

Sleep was inviting itself into the corners of my mind. To lay down on the rain-softened ground and sleep under my blanket of stars seemed so alluring, and I couldn't refuse. I sank to my knees. The ground was surprisingly warm. I reclined languidly on the grass, and stared up at the sky, or rather, the darkening abyss that stretched on for eternity above me. Drops of heaven punctured the darkness.

As I stared upward, some of the magic began to fade, and the sky turned a broiling, angry mix of black and purple, and little raindrops became interspersed with my stars, with breathtaking results. The light from the stars reflected off the water, causing them to look more crystalline than ever, and throwing small rainbows everywhere. I stared, transfixed, up at this beautiful mix of light, dark, color, and magic. I was warm and careless on my back, and truly at peace.

And I decided what heaven was going to be like, for me at least. The image has stuck with me, although I was only 11 at the time.

However, I must confess that it's a pleasant surprise to find myself breaking the solitude, even such peaceful solitude the one I just described, that plagued me through my mortal life. It was a wonderful shock to see all of you again.

And it is also quite nice to have retained my memories, even the bad ones. I lived a full life, and loved many people. It's an exciting prospect that, with our memories, we'll all be able to spend eternity resolving what was left unresolved, learning what we could have never known, and seeking forgiveness for our faults. I stand by what I've told others before, that death was simply the next great adventure, and I couldn't imagine a better adventure than one where I am surrounded by those I love and have missed dearly. Furthermore, I am reveling in the fact that fear is not one of the cords that binds us together any longer; simply love, is all that's left.

Lily, James, you look as happy as I hoped you would be. I know you must be able to see the great things Harry has accomplished, I can tell from the glowing pride that surrounds you, laced with worry, of course. Sirius, you finally look like you should; youthful, joyful, and a tad guilty. Don't worry, son, it isn't your fault. you didn't choose to leave. And you, Cedric. The death of a student weighed hard on me, and it is nice to see you here, eternally youthful. You're old friends will join you eventually, don't worry.

Crying? Why yes, I am. I feel as if I've been filled in a way I haven't been for a long time. I guess I'm just leaking a little. Although I'm worried about what those we've left behind will have to endure, it's comforting to know that this is the reception that will greet them when their time comes.

Until then, we must watch over them, and keep them from harm. They deserve to live their lives as you all should have done, because I of course was granted as long and full of a life that I could hope for. And besides, as many of you know, I wouldn't wish deaths by murder on anyone.

Now, come. We have a few moments before we must begin our celestial assistance, and it appears as though it's raining. Stars and tears.

Let's go dance out there, together.