Just So You Know

Broken

This fragile thing now

He couldn't understand it. There was a reason this had happened, yet he couldn't remember why.

It was a mistake. A mistake. Malfoys don't make mistakes, but Draco knew there was something wrong. He could still feel it burning, on and underneath his very skin and he wondered, was this the mistake or the punishment?

Forever seemed a long time to pay.

No one had said it would hurt this much. Not even Lucius, the bastard, who had stood and watched them brand him, the spoilt, arrogant son whom he'd never laid a hand on his entire life. And he'd remained as silent as the grave his wife now lay six feet deep in.

Well that was fine, because Draco didn't need Lucius anyway. He didn't know what he needed, but it sure wasn't a mother who was gone and a father who no longer cared for anything.

So what was he left with then?

And I can't

I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't

I can't give you a reason

Voices drifted across the early evening air, honeysuckle and laughter in the twilight. Sooner or later; in the end we all have to go. Was this what you were supposed to do? Laugh in the face of death, and scorn its absurd predictability?

This was a strange war that evoked strange events. Here he was, a Malfoy, a servant of the Dark Lord. Crossing enemy lines, but he'd done that a long time ago. Strange events, indeed.

Draco brought his hand up and knocked. Seconds later hurried footsteps, and the door flew open. Flaming red hair, an all too familiar sight, but Ginny Weasley was smiling at him instead. She must have been expecting someone else though, because a moment later her expression turned much darker.

'What the hell do you think you're doing here, Malfoy?'

I feel so broken up

And I give up

Just want to tell you so you know

The second to last night at Hogwarts, there was a party in Gryffindor tower. The day before had been the Leavers' Ball, but even then they were still celebrating. It was strange, Ron thought as he watched his friends and housemates dancing or talking and hugging each other; Parvati Patil was in tears already.

'I can't believe it, in two days we're not going to be here together anymore,' she sighed, fingers entwined in Harry's.

Ron couldn't believe it either.

'It's weird, huh?' agreed Harry. 'I remember coming here so clearly, doesn't seem that long ago. Remember Ron?'

'Corned beef,' said Ron.

Harry grinned. 'And Neville had lost his toad on that first day, hadn't he?'

'Sunshine daisies, butter mallow-' Hermione broke off, laughing, as Ron hit her with a cushion.

'I'm really going to miss it here,' said Neville wistfully, and they all looked at each other, Gryffindors attempting brave smiles all round.

The last night, all the students were worn out from packing and celebrating. While his dorm mates fell asleep, Ron lay in his bed staring at the ceiling with open eyes. When he was certain that no one else was no longer awake, Ron grabbed his cloak and slipped quietly away. He didn't bother with the invisibility cloak; why bother about detentions when you were leaving for good the next day anyway?

Draco was sitting, eyes shut tight, head back resting against the cool stone edge of the fountain, pale throat exposed to the moonlight. Ron was overwhelmed by a sudden desire to run his tongue along the smooth skin, to feel the involuntary shudder from Draco beneath him.

It was a good thing he held himself back from doing so, because he needed to stay calm and collected if he was going to get anywhere. Last time....the last time, shocked and angry, he'd truly lost it.

'You can't be fucking serious!'

'I am.'

'Don't. You don't have to do it, Malfoy...You can't.'

'Why not?'

'Because it's fucking suicide, that's why, you daft shit!'

'It doesn't matter. I don't care.'

'Well I do!'

Draco had gone silent then, watching him with an icy grey glare. Empty. This was not the Draco Malfoy he knew anymore, the spoilt, attention-seeking, conceited git he'd hated for so long. In many ways, Ron still disliked Draco, although this was now tangled with many other less apparent emotions.

Here I go

Scream my lungs out and try to get to you

'If you think I'm going to sleep with you, you're madly deluded,' said Draco, without looking at him.

'You still think it's about that, do you?' Ron asked coldly.

'I thought you never wanted to see me again.'

Ron shrugged. 'So? I lied.'

'Whatever happened to Gryffindor honour?'

'Slytherin myth.'

'No shit,' said Draco. 'Nobody believed it anyway.'

'Actually, I gave it up a long time ago.'

They stared at each other, Gryffindor to Slytherin, Weasley to Malfoy, lover to lover.

'Please don't do it,' said Ron.

'It's my life,' Draco pointed out.

And Ron couldn't really argue with that, could he?

You are my only one

Ginny looked as if she might hex him any moment.

'He doesn't want to see you,' she snarled.

'He's lying,' stated Draco.

'No, he isn't. Look, just piss off alright? Haven't you already done enough?'

'I have a question, then.'

Ginny sighed. 'What is it?'

'Will you promise to ask? Swear you'll tell him?'

Ginny stared at the sky wearily. 'You're a worthless prat, did you know that?'

'Just ask Ron,' said Draco. 'Ask him why I'm here.'

'And?'

'And he'll know. Ron always knows.'

There's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only

My only one

'Who was that, Ginny dear?' asked Mrs Weasley as her daughter returned to help with dishing out the dessert.

'Saleswitch,' lied Ginny.

She took her seat next to Ron, who was listening in on a conversation between Harry and Bill.

'There was someone at the door for you,' she told him quietly.

'What?' said Ron.

'Malfoy...' she felt him tensing up beside her. 'I think he's gone.'

Ginny waited for Ron to answer, and when he didn't she was forced to continue uncertainly.

'I don't know what he wants.'

More silence.

'He said...to ask you something. I didn't understand, it was strange...'

Made my mistakes

Let you down

And I can't

I can't hold on for too long

Quiet. The only time Ron recollected Draco ever shutting up was during sex, and he often teased him about it although secretly Ron was pleased because if Draco couldn't string together a proper sentence it meant that he was in a seriously disoriented state of mind. Which was exactly how Ron preferred him.

While their breathing slowed, limbs still locked and light blond hair tickling his bare shoulder, Ron's heart began to return to its ordinary pace. In these moments, he fantasized about telling somebody. Just to see their reaction. What would Hermione have said, if he'd accidentally let it slip? Would Harry never speak to him again? If Lavender or Parvati found out, the whole entire school would know in mere hours. The notion was truly terrifying.

And yet...

Ron never mentioned the possibility of everyone discovering that...them...whatever it was they had, because Draco would most likely call him a delusional fuck for it, and maybe he was after all.

'Draco?'

'Fuck off, Weasley,' Draco murmured, curled up beside him. Ron told himself firmly that he didn't enjoy it, but displays of affection from Draco were rare (aside from the obvious, but that could hardly be termed 'affectionate').

'Done that,' Ron smirked.

'You think you're funny, don't you?'

'Actually, yes.'

'Well, that confirms my theory that you don't really think after all.'

'Think you're clever, don't you?'

'I know I'm clever, Ron.'

'And that confirms my theory that you're a conceited, stubborn, irrational git who can never face up to the truth.'

'Like you care.'

'I don't. That's the worrying part,' Ron reflected. 'Why am I even here?'

'You love me,' said Draco.

They'd stared at each other for a long moment, both of them surprised and silent. Then Ron leaned in, brushed his lips slowly across Draco's, an answer threatening to spill from the tip of his tongue.

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't; I cant get up when you're gone.

Something's breaking up-

I feel like giving up.

I won't walk out until you know.

'What was it?' Ron asked Ginny. 'What did he say to you?'

Her brow furrowed as she replied in a bemused voice, 'he said: ask Ron why I'm here. He'll know why.'

Ron had turned a deathly pale, and Ginny regretted not having hexed Malfoy and then shutting the door in his face.

'Ron...'

Her brother stood up. The faces of his family turned towards him, curious and waiting.

'Where are you going Ron?' demanded Mrs Weasley. 'We're just about to start.'

'Bathroom,' replied Ron. 'I'll be right back.'

Ginny watched him disappear into the house. It was all right, if Ron wasn't going out there to murder Malfoy, she'd do it herself.

Here I go,

Scream my lungs out

And try to get to you,

You are my only one.

Ron stormed up to Draco and roughly grabbed at his wrist, then shoving the material of his sleeve upwards.

'So you actually did it,' he snarled, disgusted.

Draco shrugged.

'Why are you here?' asked Ron.

'I thought you'd know,' he said.

'Well I fucking don't, Malfoy!' yelled Ron. 'I don't know what the fuck you're thinking anymore!'

'Then I'll tell you.'

'I don't want to know.'

'Then why are you here?' Draco pointed out.

'Because this is my bloody house, and you can't be here so fuck the hell off, Draco!'

'No.'

'I won't say it again.'

'Then don't.' And then Draco stepped forward and kissed him, hard, hungrily, like he couldn't taste enough of Ron which was true because he never could and when they broke apart he was dizzy and breathless from it.

I let go,

There's just no one that gets me

Like you do

You are my only,

My only one.

'You git,' gasped Ron.

Although he was tired, kicked and broken, Draco managed a defiant smirk. 'You love me.'

'You're lucky,' Ron said, trying to sound angry but not quite succeeding at it. 'I'd hex you, but my wand isn't with me.'

'I know,' Draco told him, leaning in for another kiss. 'I'm the luckiest guy in the world.'

And there was no denying any of that, thought Ron as he kissed Draco back.