Circle of Darkness

Circle of Darkness- part 2

~Hot summer streets and the pavements are burning
I sit around
Trying to smile but the air is so heavy and dry
Strange voices are saying (ah what did they say)
Things I can´t understand
It´s too close for comfort this heat has got right out of hand~

I won´t cry out! I won´t show weakness! I won´t defend myself! I won´t care! I´ll just take it like a man. But I wasn´t a man. I shouldn´t have to "take it". I should stand up to them and defend myself! I won´t of course. I deserve this. I deserve everything that is dished out to me, on a cold platter. I deserve it not because of Cedric or Voldemort. No, I deserve it because I´m a nobody and nobodies don´t deserve anything else.

I was lucky to get even this. What was I given? I was given hate, what better gift is there when you are the boy-who-lived? Hate was handed out so freely, without reason or cause. So freely, in fact, that a part of me cherished it greatly even though it hurt so much.

I lay on the pavement of the basketball court at the far end of the park. How long I´d been here, I do not know. The sun was high in the sky, indicating it was early afternoon.

Dudley and I arrived at the park around 9a.m. I was apprehensive for a while, not daring to trust that this was no more than a normal outing. Not that we´d had a normal outing before, but my Cousin had left me alone. Without so much as saying a word before he disappeared for an hour or so. I sat on a bench for a while, watching as the park started to fill with small children. Once I realized Dudley wasn´t coming back anytime soon, I wondered about. Finally coming to rest at the swings near the empty Basketball court.

It was a great surprise to be pulled from my thoughts by a harsh shove from behind. I flew forward off the swing, landing on my hands and knees at the fat feet of Dudley. He´d returned and- looking around quickly- I realized he wasn´t alone. Three of his friends where with him, all bearing identical malevolent smiles.

Things came crashing down at that point. Fists, feet, words, sticks, rocks, and anything else they could find; beat down on my already battered body. And I took it without complaint. As much as I wanted to, I couldn´t prevent my arms from covering my head protectively as another blow from a stick clipped my ear. Tears stung my eyes but I didn´t let them fall.

I found myself lying on the court with no memory of getting there. The morning had grown incredibly hot as the sun rose higher in the sky, so that now the blacktop burned my skin from below while the sun cooked it from above. `This was going to hurt in the morning´ that voice in my head pointed out. The stinging heat aggravated my wounds, which were centered on my back, old and new alike.

Eternity. I knew it wasn´t, but it felt like an eternity before they stopped. It took me even longer to processes that thought. When I finally braved a peek from around my arms, I saw them standing around me laughing. They laughed and taunted my foolishness and called me worthless. I was terrified that they´d start hitting me again. I didn´t think my body could take anymore and I wasn´t willing to let them see me give in. No, I´d not give them that satisfaction. Never!

It was a while longer still before I realized I was alone. They had left, off to find more kids to torment and scare. Off to play video games, or hit on girls, off to do things that normal boys´ got to do. Things that Harry would, for the most part, never do. I sighed. Now I was talking about myself in third person. That was a sign of detachment, wasn´t it?

~The city is crowded, my friends are away and I´m on my own
It´s too hot to handle, so I gotta get up and go~

The park was quite now, all the children having run off after seeing a fight or gone home for lunch. Lunch! Shit! I was supposed to be home before lunch. Aunt Petunia is going to have my head! With a desperate effort, I managed to stand to my feet. Bruised and bleeding, I crossed the park, heading home.

If only the summer would hurry up and end...

~It´s a cruel, cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
It´s a cruel, cruel summer
Now you´re gone
You´re not the only one~