Jealous of Your Cigarette

As he watched the cherry on the end of the cigarette glow with every inhale, Remus had to wonder when his lover had taken up smoking. It was a facet of Sirius's behavioral make-up that he had never seen. In all the years that they had spent in almost constant company, Sirius had never once put anything to his lips in a constant need or hunger for the relief it provided.Well, almost nothing... Remus smiled in a feral way as this comment swam around his head. Then he scowled slightly, realizing that a cigarette was the only thing Sirius had sucked in quite a while. His thoughts resumed their original, less lascivious pattern. Sirius hadn't been a smoker before Azkaban. Surely dementors weren't carrying packs on them to give out to all the prisoners, so he couldn't have picked it up in Azkaban. And Remus thought that Sirius probably had to be in the best physical shape he could be in to manage to run around and avoid guards and aurors, all while running to Hogwarts on his bare feet. When Sirius had acquired this habit was an absolute mystery to him. And an annoying one at that. Sirius was cranky without nicotine and the other life-threatening chemicals in cigarettes. He would whine and complain if he didn't have a cigarette every few hours or so, causing Remus to want nothing more than to smack him. Cigarettes had become a post-coital regular as well, which completely upset Remus's euphoria due to his extremely sensitive nose. And also due to his acute jealousy at the fact that it seemed like the pleasure he gave him was only secondhand to that of paper and plant.

But what else could he do other than put up with it? Sirius was addicted and Remus had little patience for those who whined about pain. If he asked Sirius to quit, he knew Sirius would. But then Sirius would complain and whine about the ungodly pain and Remus would be forced to either punch him to make him shut up or put him in his place by informing him that he has no idea what pain is until another being inhabits your mind and your bones and skin reform in awkward ways and...

"Remus? Are you okay?" Sirius looked concerned. He flicked the ashes of his cigarette into an ashtray.

Remus nodded. "Yes. Fine."

He raised the cigarette to his lips again and inhaled before speaking. "Are you sure you're fine?" Remus watched Sirius's lips pucker deliciously to exhale.

"Yes I'm sure I'm fine. Don't you think I know the state of my moods?" It was a bit snappier than Remus had intended.

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. "Oh." Inhale. "Because you seem awfully..." Vague hand gesture. "Distracted." Exhale.

"Well, I can be distracted in a good way, can't I? I mean, I could be distracted by thoughts of chocolate and that would make me fine, right? You know, thinking isn't a bad thing, Padfoot. Maybe you should try it sometime." Remus sunk lower into his seat.

Sirius let out his usual barklike laugh. "You can fool anyone, Moony. But you can't fool me." He licked his lips before sucking on his cigarette again. "If you were thinking about chocolate, you'd have a small little grin on those lips rather than a pout, which may be insanely attractive and may or may not make me want to suck on your lower lip and try to make that grin appear, but I prefer a happier state on you. Call me crazy, but I don't like seeing you upset."

While this comment was intended to placate Remus, it only made him huff more and pout further. Sirius moved his face in closer to Remus's and whispered, "Don't make me carry out my train of thoughts, Re, unless you want to get kicked out of this bar. Because I will suck on your lower lip if you continue pouting and then I'll be forced to pin you against the back of the seat and have my wicked way with you."

"Oh, forced is it? Make you carry out your train of thoughts?? You don't want to, but I have to force you or make you?" Remus glared. Sirius backed up slowly and took a drag on his cigarette. He knew how his love worked and always felt smug over this. He knew to raise his eyebrows (so he did) and wait for a few seconds (so he did) before Remus would explode. He knew that nothing infuriated Remus more than people pretending to play the innocent, although he honestly had no idea what the fuck Remus was talking about as he would have gladly shagged him right there on the table, even with a less-than-consensual Remus.

"Well, I've no idea wh..." Sirius started, but was cut off, as he had suspected.

"I'm jealous of your cigarette."

Sirius blinked. Of all the stupid things for Remus to say or think. "What?"

"You heard me." Remus folded his arms across his chest. "I'm jealous of your cigarette."

"Um." Sirius racked his brain. Yeah, the comment still didn't make any sense. Clarification would be nice. "Why?"

"How you want to suck on it and not me. I mean, clearly you said that I would have to make you suck on my lower lip, whereas you suck on that thing freely."

Was this a joke? "Remus, love, you're being..." Sirius cut himself off, knowing that that train of thought would have been deadly. He knew that his lover took his feelings and thoughts extremely seriously if they were voiced.

"What am I being?" Remus glared at him.

Sirius wanted to laugh, but knew that if he did, Remus wouldn't speak to him for a week. He thought quickly for a more suitable adjective than the ones that kept popping into his mind, namely "ridiculous" and "absurd." "You're being... vague. I still don't quite get what you mean."

Remus relaxed slightly and Sirius deeply inhaled from his cigarette rather than sighed with relief.

"œWell... I'm jealous of the pleasure that you get from it and not me." Remus shifted in his seat. This had made a lot more sense in his head. He chanced a glance over at Sirius and was surprised to see a slack jaw rather than a laughing face. He also noted with some satisfaction that his cigarette was in his hand rather than at his lips.

"Remus."

"Hrm?" Remus looked away.

"That is absolutely absurd. You know that, right?"

Remus glared. "IT ISN'T ABSURD!!! IT'S TRUE AND YO..." The sentence was left hanging as a face framed by black hair flew at Remus's. Sirius sucked fiercely on his lower lip, nibbling slightly. Remus clawed at the seat, writhing in pleasure. Sirius was quick to grab his hands and give them a brief squeeze before letting go of his lip.

"No one and nothing gives me pleasure like you do," he whispered, dragging his tongue along Remus's no-longer-pouty lip. "And as for what I want to suck on..." He started trailing kisses along his jaw and then down his throat. Remus let his head fall back, moaning softly and closing his eyes. Sirius's hands deftly started undoing Remus's pants and his mouth quickly replaced his busy fingers. Remus had to bite his lip to keep from shrieking at the feeling of Sirius's lips and tongue and teeth on him. He opened his eyes briefly to see if anyone was watching them, but shut them again once he noticed that the cigarette was in the ashtray, completely unheeded and almost entirely ash.