Not Like Brothers, More Like Lovers

He lay in bed, thinking about all the times they'd been together.

He thought of how his voice sounded when he spoke his name; how he'd cried when he'd told him it would have to end.

And involuntarily, tears crept down his face.

"Never cry when you're lying on your back, bro. You'll get tears in your ears." Fred thought of his smile, his thin and nimble fingers - freckles on his face that were in the same place as his. He tried to feel his lips on his again, and couldn't recall the feeling.

*

George stumbled through blinding whiteness, tears already frozen on his face.

He didn't know where he was going, didn't want to. He couldn't understand, couldn't even fathom why Fred had told him that it would have to end.

He loved him.

It was that simple, he had told him. He'd looked at the tears on that face, his own reflection. It was love, love was a simple emotion.

Fred had punched him for that.

It didn't hurt, George recalled. The slight pain only made his tears flow faster.

"Get out." The words had been so simple, so harsh, so heartless, so heartfelt and so laced with diamond tears that George fled from the dormitory as fast as he could.

To this? he asked himself. Do I really want to die?

He remembered his own words: "I'll die without you by my side,"

So be it.

*

Fred had been the one who had started it. It only seemed right that he should be the one to say "We've had our fun, now it's time to end." The words had seemed so uncomplicated in his head.

Who could have known?

He was unwilling to accept how he'd made his twin feel. He knew, in his heart, that George was gone.

But was that what he wanted?

Did he want him to die? A stab of fear and longing shot through his veins, sudden emotions as he realized what George might do.

He wiped away the tears and swept his long hair out of his eyes. Getting to his feet, he pulled on a shirt and a jumper - one of the ones knitted by his mother.

With a shock, he realized that he was wearing George's.

Was this what fate felt like?

*

There were no words for how he felt, thought George as he fell into the thick snow.

He felt the cold, icy on the bare skin of his back, and wondered what Fred was doing. Was he looking for him? Was he still standing where George had left him?

Had he already forgotten him?

George curled his legs up to his chest and gave a shiver. Snowflakes were swirling before his eyes as he closed them.

His thoughts wandered distant paths, paths lined with thoughts of him and Fred.

He thought of the first time...

George raced into the dorm, only to find Fred sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. He stopped and knelt before him, prising apart his fingers.

There were tears running down his freckled face.

George didn't hesitate - he just pulled his twin into an awkward embrace and held him tightly as Fred shook with sobs and grief.

"What's the matter?" The words sounded stupid, but he still spoke them.

"I can't tell you this time, George. I can't tell you. Ever." His voice was barely a whisper, and there was a flurry of emotions behind that soft voice.

"Why not? We're brothers, twins. You know you can trust me..."

"Not this time, George. Not this time..." He bent forward with a new sob and George kissed the top of his head, burying his face in hair that was so alike his own. Fred gave a start and raised his head so that he was looking straight at George.

George looked into those eyes, his own eyes in his own face. They were red rimmed from crying, and a darker colour than usual. Fred suddenly threw himself atop George, and George gave a cry as he scraped his arms on the carpet.

This was something they hadn't done before, been like this with Fred's weight on his limbs, thought George.

Fred lowered his head so that he was less than an inch from George. And then, slowly, he kissed his twin on the lips.

Stars exploded inside George's head.

"You see? That's what I couldn't fucking tell you! I'm in love with my twin!" he paused, and looked down at George "Ain't you angry?"

George gathered his strength and rolled them over so that he was on top. "Not in the slightest..." he said, his tone thick with emotion. Then he kissed Fred, tongue sliding between his lips.

Fred gasped and kissed him back... The pair lay there, arms and legs and bodies intertwined and tangled in the moonlight of the dorm.

*

Fred ran down the steps, slippery with frozen ice and snow. He looked out into the darkness and cried out for his brother.

That was when he saw the footprints, almost covered in the whiteness.

They lead down, towards the blackness of the Forbidden Forest.

Fred gave a cry and ran, following the prints into the darkness.

*

George didn't hear his twin.

He was too far gone as Fred threw himself down into the snow beside him and kissed him.

Strong arms wrapped around him and he tried to open his eyes but the lashes had frozen together.

*

Fred lay there in the icy snow and sobbed, his tears falling on dead cheeks.

He bent and kissed his twin again - his lips were blue and cold, not warm and welcoming like they should have been.

Fred forced his arms beneath George's body and tried to lift him but failed. Gasping for breath, he huddled close beside his twin and prised apart his limbs, trying to warm them with his own body heat.

It was so cold that suddenly the snow became warm... new snowflakes were falling, sparkling in half dead light.

Fred remembered something he'd once read in a book... Twins are born together, live together, die together...

He was glad those words were true