One Day

One Day...

The sun shone mirthlessly on my pale shoulders. I knew that if I stayed out any longer I would burn to a crisp. The weather is not meant to be like this. I thought to myself. Looking around, it was a perfect midsummer's day, not the type of weather that was meant for mourning. It was almost cruel. I looked up at the clear sky, shielding my eyes from the direct light of the sun. It seemed to be laughing like a blithe spirit, not a care in the world, least of all for my pain. I got up slowly, ignoring the pain shooting up my leg from pins and needles, and brushed the freshly cut grass from my skirt.

I usually love the smell of the summer, the burnt grass wafting on the breeze of the ocean. But my appreciation for this was waning. All I wanted to do was escape from the harsh reality of the world, for things to go back to the way they were when my life made sense, for life to be simple. I wanted my innocence, untouched by death, evil and corruption. I wanted Curtis. Curtis, who was my first love, the one I would walk through fire for, the one I would die for, and almost did.

Killed by Voldemort, or one of his minions, Curtis was stupid to try and face him. I hated him for the fact that he went after him. People today come up to me saying how valiant and brave he was. I guess that was true in many ways, (I constantly debate with myself whether it was idiocy or bravery...) but I couldn't help but think, if only he hadn't have gone. Why did he have so much to prove? Six months ago, I had received news of his capture, and pending death. In times like these I usually knew what to do. "Always keep your head clear in a crisis." That's what my father would have told me. I could do nothing but sit there. Of course this wasn't enough for me, which was partly my best friends fault, He had introduced me to a life of adventure from the mere age of 11. I had gone after him, despite protests from all of my friends and family. It wasn't until Harry, my best friend, came and rescued me that I realised the situation I had put myself and more importantly, the situation I had put Harry in. Curtis didn't make it. I came out of it with nothing but a torn muscle in my left calf. It was nothing compared to what Curtis had endured. It was only 4 days until I got to an infirmary, and was fully healed.

"Hermione?" Speaking of my best friend, I could hear him calling out to me.

"Yes, Harry?" I yelled back halfheartedly.

"Are you around the back?" He called out from my front veranda.

"Yes." I said, starting towards the back door. "I'll meet you inside." I called out to him from where I was standing. I heard my front door swing open, as I climbed up the stairs to my back door. I went inside and put my hat on the kitchen table. I smiled and hugged him. It was good to have a familiar face around. He looked unusually solemn.

"What is it?" I asked, searching his face for a clue.

"I was thinking... about Curtis..." He said, looking at anything but me. I felt the muscles in my back tense up.

"Please, Harry. I don't want to talk or think about him right now." I said, silencing him with my hand. Whenever I thought of him, I thought of the way that the death eaters would have tortured him mercilessly. I couldn't bear this thought.

"Hermione, listen." He said impatiently, trying to reason with me.

"No!" I didn't want to hear it.

"I... think... Hermione! Listen!" I was walking away from him, my fingers in my ears. I could be very stubborn.

"I think I have found a way to bring him back!" He said. Throwing his arms up at my stubborn refusal to listen. I froze. Turning around slowly I looked at him with disbelief.

"Harry. I thought that you were more of a person than this. Of all things to get my attention. Leave." I said, bitterness lacing my voice. How could he?

"Hermione, I am not leaving, I think I have found a way to bring him back. I am not sure if it will work though." He said breathlessly as I tried in vain to get him out. He was taller than me, heavier than me and was also a lot more stubborn than me. And well that is a major accomplishment.

"You know that there is no way to bring people back from the dead." I said bitterly, thinking of his parents. What did he take me for? A complete and utter fool?

"No, not bringing people back, this would... prevent it. But it would require a lot on your part." He said, grabbing my shoulders. "Here." Harry held something out to me. I gasped. Dangling from Harry's fingers was an object, suspended from a fine gold chain. It was a time turner. My heart leaped at the prospect, wondering why I never thought of this before.

"But-" He said, snatching it away from my grasp. "You do know the risk?" He said, his eyes boring into mine.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be seen." I said impatiently, going to grab for the time turner.

"Yes, that and -" He said, hesitating. "If you don't succeed in stopping him." I knew what he meant, but didn't understand what he was grasping at. "Then you will have to relive these past six months..." He trailed off, looking unsure. I finally understood the meaning of his words. I sank down to the ground, defeated. The pain of losing him all over again would be doubled, by my knowing that I had the chance to stop him, but didn't. Couldn't. Failure wasn't something I knew well, like fear wasn't something Harry was well acquainted to. But my life without Curtis was not much of a life at all. "Either that, or you can move on." Harry said quietly, reading my mind.

"How can you expect me to move on, knowing that I have the chance to save him?" I said, tears pouring down my face. Harry lifted me up, and wiped my tears with his thumb.

"Hermione, I can't stand to see you hurt. Some things happen, and are not meant to be changed. Things that help shape the people we are later on." He said gently, lifting my face up to meet his eyes.

"Why did you bring this up?" I pleaded, begging for this all to be a bad dream.

"I wanted to help you, by showing you that there is a way, but things do happen for a reason, and one day, you will know what I mean. Whatever hurts you ultimately makes you a stronger person..." He said, hugging me.

"But Why? Why this way? Harry..." I said, sobbing.

"Hermione, one day, you will understand." He said. I never knew why it was always 'one day, you will understand'. I was so sick of waiting for one day to come.

"Remember this, you will still have to go though the past six months, with or without him, and where do you think you are going to go for six months?" He said, bringing me back to reality.

I looked at Harry's face. It was so earnest, caring. Curtis... Well he was my soul mate. At least that is what I willed and wanted him to be. I forced myself to think that there was that connection. But deep down I knew I was only kidding myself. Don't get me wrong, I loved him. I really did... But I knew what Harry was implying, and I knew it was the best thing to do.

"Never mind." I said, tears silently rolling down my face. I wanted to, but if I failed, I knew that it would be so much worse. Curtis is... was a very stubborn man, and it took a lot to change his mind, once made up. If I tried to convince him that he would die, he would have brushed me off. "Herm, you're no diviner, we don't know the future, and how will I know if I never try?" That's what he would say to me. No matter how I tried otherwise. Curtis wasn't like other men his own age. No, not at all. Curtis was not at all handsome. Looking more like a bedraggled cat, he was tall and skinny, the unappealing sort of skinny. His hair was a murky brown, which looked like it could seriously use some shampoo. When I met him, he was terribly shy, didn't associate with anyone really. I know I helped him, it was not all smooth sailing, but after being friends with him for 3 years, he had transformed from a shy, (and let's face it; butt ugly) anti social guy, to a not as shy, (still was a little nervous in big crowds) and somewhat presentable. With some handy charms, he was able to manage his hair. A few months later, he surprised me by telling me how he felt. I was shocked at first, only to realise that I felt the same way. He was a simple man, easily satisfied and did what he had to in order to get by. I always wondered why we got along so well, we were complete opposites, I was perfectionistic and was also very critical, and I always pushed myself to the limit, always going that extra mile. I guessed that he was a 'sanity break' in my life of hectic chaos. Curtis was safe. Someone who wasn't so critical, someone who wasn't such a perfectionist, someone who could accept me with my faults and failures. I recalled one of our many conversations.

***

"What do you see in me Curt?"

"Huh?" He said looking at me.

"How do you put up with me?"

"Hermione, what don't I see in you? You are amazing. You are the greatest thing that's even happened to me, and I thank the stars every day because I am so lucky to have you." He said looking into my eyes with such sincerity that it brought tears to my eyes.

"But, I am so critical, mean - " I started

"No! You, you are wonderful, I can't see myself without you... You complete me." He said. It was at this point I almost started bawling.

"No I -"

"Yes! One day Hermione, one day, you will understand."

***

One day, yeah, fat lot of help one day is. My heart panged with sadness as I recalled that particular conversation. I couldn't see myself understanding ever. Why do people say this to me? 'One day, you'll understand'. I don't understand and I get the distinct feeling that I never will. I have been waiting for one day so long, that I probably missed it all together...

"My life is so... Eventful... Yet I am so ordinary." I said to Harry.

"Not to me you're not." He whispered, embracing me tightly. I winced as I felt the sunburn on my shoulders starting to rear its ugly head. Did I even think to use sun-screening charms? No...

"I am." I said, thinking about what my mother had once said to me.

You are never ordinary to those who love you.

Harry loved me like I loved him. We were the best of friends. Of course there was Ron, but Ron had gone off in pursuit of Quidditch dreams, he was at least successful. He is now the best seeker the Wimbourne Wasps have had in years. I am happy for him, but he doesn't seem to have a lot time for Harry or I anymore.

"I love you Harry." I said, squeezing him. He was one of the best friends anyone could ask for. He looked a little taken aback, and I felt him flinch a little. He sighed.

"I love you too, Hermione." He said, returning my hug.

"I couldn't ask for a better friend. If I'd have thought of the time turner, I would have barged ahead without even thinking." I said, letting go of Harry. His arms lingered on my waist.

"I'll always be here for you. I just wanted to let you see that sometimes things happen for a reason, no matter how cruel it may seem at the time."

"I know." I sighed. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew that I was only tormenting myself.

"Come on beaver." He said, calling me by my Hogwarts nickname, this of course was a Ron creation. We were the three stooges. So naive and carefree, without the responsibilities if the world on our shoulders. Looking back, who would have thought that it would be Harry and I who kept our friendship. It was always Harry and Ron. I was just an object in the background. I think that Curtis helped me in more ways than I thought possible. I was just so used to being shunned aside, not deliberately and not by Ron and Harry, but always being 'that bushy haired buck toothed girl' who was friends with Harry Potter. Curtis always put me first, on a pedestal. It was sometimes a little tiresome, but for once, I was Hermione Granger, not 'The friend of Harry Potter'. I don't resent them for my lack of attention, in many ways I am glad that I wasn't always in the spotlight, as I could get on with my work.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as Harry pulled me along with his hand.

"For a walk." He replied, looking as though he knew exactly where he was going, but wasn't going to tell me until we got there.

"OK." I followed him as he walked up my street and turned off a little track which I knew lead down to the ocean. About half way down this little walking track, he veered off to the left, pulling me after him. We scrambled a little way up the mountain, through the trees. I couldn't see where we were going, so I stumbled on blindly after Harry.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to look over his shoulder. He pulled me past a few thick shrubs and onto a small, narrow ledge. I stood next to him and saw a small cave.

"After you." He said and I bent down to walk through. I straightened up and gaped at the view before me. Somehow we were at the top of the mountain in a sheltered little area with a view of the ocean, the beach and nearly everything below us. It was breathtaking. I vaguely heard Harry climb in after me, but I was too busy taking everything in. The 'cave' floor was extended, with the cave ceiling acting as a roof. It opened into a small area where two or three people could sit in the sun, looking over everything.

"Do you like it?" He asked, snapping me out of my daze.

"Like it? It's the most beautiful place I've ever been to!" I exclaimed.

"I discovered it when I was up here looking for potion ingredients that I heard grew up here. I didn't find any potion ingredients, but I found this little place." He said, smiling at me. I had meant to say thank you for showing me, but I was at a loss for words.

"I feel so ordinary. This is beautiful. You defeated the Dark Lord, Ron is a Quidditch legend, and Curtis died trying to fight Voldemort. I feel so monotonous, boring... Ordinary." I sighed. I would never be the fabulous, interesting person I always longed to be.

"You are not ordinary. Not to me. You aren't boring, and you aren't monotonous." Harry said sounding exasperated.

You are never ordinary to those who love you.

My mother’s words rang in my ears. A new feeling was arising. I kept trying to push it down. No. I told myself firmly. I looked at Harry, who was staring at me intently. Of course Harry loved me, but these feelings are completely platonic. Are they? A small voice said in the back of my head. Of course they are! I snapped to myself.

But I couldn't ignore what my heart was telling me.

No Hermione stop it. He is your friend. I ordered myself.

"Harry." I whispered. I couldn't fight me emotions anymore. I looked at Harry, and realised something that I had known all along. "I love you, Harry." I said. Looking him in the eye.

"Yeah, I love you too." He started.

"No - I love you. I guess I've always known it. But I never wanted to believe it, or even acknowledge it." I said, searching his eyes for a reaction.

"Hermione. I know what you mean, and I have known it all along too. I just wanted to see you happy. Curtis made you happier than I could... I -"

"Shhh." I said, holding my finger up to his lips. He lowered his head, his lips meeting mine. I gently leaned into the kiss, sweet and intoxicating. My legs turned to jelly; I had never felt this way. Ever. Harry's kissing became more urgent and I pulled him closer. I smiled to myself as a song played through my mind.

Never knew... I could feel like this,

Like I've never seen the sky... Before.

Want to vanish, inside your kiss.

Each day I love you more, and more.

Listen to my heart can you hear it sing,

Telling me, to give you everything,

Seasons may change,

Winter to Spring...

But I love you.

Until the end of time.*

I smiled as Harry kissed me. Finally one day was here. I understood. I knew what I wanted, and I knew what I needed. Harry smiled, pulling away.

"You've never been ordinary to me."