Silence Like a Cancer Grows

"What did you say?" Remus bared his teeth. Human teeth were very dull, but he still had an overwhelming urge to bite Peter.

Peter cowered. "I'm sorry! I just thought you should know... I'm sorry."

"Just tell me what it was that made you say that," Remus said.

Peter's lower lip trembled. "He just said you'd been weird lately."

"I have been weird lately," Remus said. "We've all been weird lately, thanks to this bloody war. That's hardly damning."

"That's what Sirius said," Peter said. "And then he said it was harder on you than it was everyone else, because you're a... you know."

Oh, for the love of Merlin, weren't they past this already? Remus rolled his eyes. "Werewolf."

"Dark creature." Peter shivered. "And then he said as how You-Know-Who was recruiting dark creatures." He straightened up. "That's why I said I thought he was trying to make me think you were the traitor."

That hurt in a way that surprised Remus. "Do you think I'm the traitor, Peter?"

"Would I be here if I did?" Peter laughed a little mirthless laugh.

"You think Sirius is the traitor."

"I didn't say that!" Peter said. He shook his head. "I just... I thought you should know. That you and Sirius have a problem, that is."

Remus sighed. "I'll talk to him. Thanks, Peter."

---

Sirius needed a haircut. His hair was straggling over his eyes and creeping towards his shoulders. But his eyes were unusually lovely in the firelight, and he had a rose and a box of chocolates.

Remus pulled their foreheads together and closed his eyes.

"Remus?" Sirius stood there, awkward, the rose and chocolates still occupying his hands. He waved them uselessly for a second, then hugged Remus, still holding them.

"I hate this war," Remus said.

"I know," Sirius said. "I know. Me, too. Don't worry, everything will be all right. We'll have each other."

"I can't stand being paranoid. It's claustrophobic and wrong and I hate it."

Sirius pulled away long enough to put down the chocolates and rose and kissed him. "Love you."

"We should run away."

"James and Lily need us," Sirius said, his voice sounding disapproving.

"I'm so afraid of losing you," Remus said. "I love you."

Sirius pulled him to the bed, laid him on it, and started undressing him. Even their bed had been touched by the war at last, which hurt, but Sirius was kissing him, kissing a trail down his chest, unfastening his trousers and oh God this was right, this was the only right thing left sometimes, the feel of Sirius' tongue and hands on him. "Oh, fuck, Sirius!"

Sirius looked up at him and grinned, and there was no doubt. Then he leaned his head back down and took Remus into his mouth, and then he had to duck Remus' hips thrusting upwards. Sirius laughed, and grabbed Remus' hips with both hands and held them down, hard.

He could kill Peter for making him doubt, even for a second.

Oh, Merlin, the things Sirius was doing with his tongue, so good, sweetness building. Oh, Sirius... And then he was coming, and he gibbered something but he didn't think it was words.

Sirius came to lie down next to him, and he smiled and brushed Sirius' hair out of his eyes. "You need a haircut."

Sirius sighed, sounding relieved. "You sound better. You've been so weird lately."

Oh, fuck.

"You all right, love?"

Remus nodded. "I think we're all stressed out."

"Yeah," Sirius said, but his voice sounded distant, cautious. "That's probably it."