Fight It

I don't really know what the war is all about.

Well, yeah, I do, but I don't know...exactly. Does that make sense?

But I guess you could say that it's about You-Know-Who. About all of the death and destruction he's brought upon us all. About how he is out to get Harry. About how he wants to kill Harry. About power. Why though?

Others might think differently, now that I think about it...Some, like Dumbledore and the Sorting Hat (yes, the Sorting Hat), would say it's about love and hate. Unity and enmity. Good and evil. But...I'm not so sure.

I mean, my brothers are fighting in the war. They are in there, fighting. They are out there, giving everything. Everyday, I see them. I don't know why...they always seem to be right there, like they're my guardians or something...it sort of fills me with pride to see them fight, but at the same time, I wish I was out there as well, instead of here, inside, fighting my mum. She doesn't want me to get hurt. The others ran off to war and she became scared. I want to fight too. I'm not that helpless. I can defend myself just as good as any of my brothers. But still...she's worried. She absolutely refuses. But I had to agree with her in the end, or give in, whatever you want to all it. What if none of them came back? What if they...died? But they would go down fighting, I guess.

Fighting for...well, I don't really know what...well, they're trying to protect us...right?

What are they fighting for? What is this war about?

I just can't figure out why everyone is so angry! I mean, I can understand the deaths and the mourning, but I just can't see a deeper reason. I just can't! Why do we have to fight the damn war anyway? Why can't we just stay at home and home it will just...just go away...oh, how much I hope that that will soon be the case. God, I hate this.

I hate it!

But what am I talking about? I have no idea. My thoughts are just so...mixed up and I can't stand it. I don't know what to say anymore. It's just...I'm afraid. I'm afraid that everything I know will disappear in an instant. I'm scared. Nothing is the same anymore. Nothing. Mum and Dad are always away, doing stuff for the Order. Dad's always out fighting, and Mum is always inside, bustling about, trying to find something to do. She has her duties, but she's worried that her worst fear is going to come true.

You know, I never really get all mushy like this. It's just not me. Can you see me in my room, in a corner, with a handkerchief crying my eyes out? Didn't think so...

But to be serious, I don't want them all to go away. I don't want Harry to leave. I don't want my brothers to fall. If they do, I know I will never forgive myself for never catching them.

Not that I could before, though.

Why do we have to go through with this anyway? Why? How did God choose this path for us? Are we doing something...wrong?

There are just too many questions...and I can't answer them. I will never know the answer, I suppose.

But back to the original question: what is this war really about?

Love and hate?

Power?

Is it really that simple? I suppose not.

But even when I contemplate the actual meaning, I begin to wonder how. How did it come to this? How are these people, and not just "people," but people I know and love, out there killing and fighting? Take Fred and George. How twisted is it for them to be out there fighting for their lives when they have their own damn joke shop open? A joke shop! They've always been hard headed and ready to fight, like me, I guess, but I never thought that they would actually go through with it. I mean, I did, but I didn't...I don't know. Nowadays, it's just all quirky and weird and just...scary, ya know? Fred and George, for God's sake.

Who would have thought that it would come to this? Who would have thought...

But these thoughts just bring back to that question. The question that I've been asking for a long time and the question you're probably tired of hearing without an answer attached to it. God, I'm tired of that too. I'm tried of not getting answers...from myself.

But let's think about this in an organized manner (Ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this). Why is this war happening? Is it because of hate? I suppose. Hate is generating from all corners of the Wizarding World, from both sides. Look at Harry. Look at his face when he fights. That's not your gung-ho fighting face. That's anger. Genuine anger. But look on the other side, and you might see, with a little less surprise, I guess, Bellatrix Lestrange (God, I hate her). Can you see her playfully angry face? She is defending what she thinks is right...such a pity. But what about love? I suppose that's why my family is out there. Protecting me, the world...themselves...

(Can you believe what this war has brought?)

But now...another thought is coming to me...this war could be about...happiness. Could it really be? Could this war, which has brought so much pain upon us, be about the one thing we are craving? Fits, doesn't it though? Happiness has been shattered, so we defend ourselves and fight for it. We fight for peace and for happiness. We fight for the joy of having our right back and for...fair treatment...and for...everything that we love. But what took away our happiness? You-Know-who? The Death Eaters? Murder? Ourselves? Did we really let this happen? I suppose...in a way, we all let it happen. Fudge denied it. Harry fell for it. Dumbledore underestimated it. I kept it.

What a pity.

How did it come to this? What drove us to such anger that we actually took away our own happiness, with some help from others?

But I guess it's too late to think about those things. Too late to reverse them. To late to bring back the lives we lost. Too late...

I hate this. I hate it so much. But I have to fight it. We all have to fight it. Eventually, anyway.

(I, don't really talk this mushy all the time, do I?)