About Love and Understanding

About Love and Understanding

When I was ten, Bill invited one of his Gringotts' colleagues, Brad, to spend Christmas with us at the Burrow. Brad seemed to be the studious type and spent most of his time with Bill discussing different curse-breaking matters. As usual, Christmas at our place was complete chaos: everybody was busy producing as much noise as possible, and Mum attempted to make us behave, so as not to disturb Brad. However, all of her efforts were in vain.

On Christmas Eve, Mum asked me to look for Bill: he had to wrap the presents. I had searched the entire house, but he had seemed to disappear. Feeling both curious and obliged, I scoured the attic, stalls, garden hut, and an old broom-closet. Oddly, Brad was also nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, I heard a strange noise. It was coming from a small room that I had overlooked earlier. I approached it and discovered Bill and Brad naked, cuddling and fondling each other. I had to run away, but I was stunned and couldn't move my legs away from the scene.

It took some time for them to notice my presence. "Hi, Perce," said Bill, "you wanted to ask something?" Brad turned his head towards me and added "C'mon man, we are just having a good time! Want to join in?" I blushed and mumbled something about having to wrap the presents. The next morning, Brad left and I haven't seen him since.

This scene haunted my dreams for years. At age thirteen, I suddenly understood that instead of nightmares, these dreams became mesmerizing visions. I tried to recall every minute detail, notice every minor change, and was terribly upset when the question of Brad's eyes remained unsolved. Were they black or green? Or, were they blue or gray? Maybe Hazel? I've decided on hazel. After all, as I successfully convinced myself, these were my private dreams and I could give him eyes of any colour I liked.

In some sense I fell in love: neither with Brad nor with Bill, but with love itself and with the idea of being in love. I enjoyed recollecting my dream, recreating it every night and re-feeling it every moment.... It never occurred to me at that time, my interest in Brad might have been a sign of my sexuality. I continued to see myself in the future as a family man and pater familias.

The realisation came two years later. It was a stormy October day and almost all of the Gryffindors were staying in the common room, playing exploding snap, laughing, and chatting animatedly. I was writing yet another Potions essay when my roommate Oliver Wood flew in through the window. Entering the room in this way was not unusual for him as Wood enjoyed flying and would have done it 24/7 if minor obstacles like lessons, assignments, and exams hadn't required his presence, time and effort. However, the weather outside was terrible that day.

"Hi, Perce," shouted Wood.

"Quidditch? Now?" I couldn't hide my surprise.

"C'mon man, we are just having a good time! Want to join?" I felt that I was losing my sanity: the borders that once separated dreams and reality had been broken and I was no longer sure whether I had heard what I had heard.

I was speechless, I looked at the smiling Oliver and, for the first time in years of sharing a room, noticed his hazel eyes. That was it: I was lost.

My relations with Oliver can probably be summed up in one sentence: "We loved each other". Our love was strong and powerful despite our obvious differences and many other usual problems that couples go through. It came to an end without slamming doors and broken hearts. One day we simply have discovered that it was no longer there. We are still friends. Oliver and his

boyfriend visit Penelope and I on Thursdays.

Yes, I'm married to Penelope. We have done it for kids. Both of us wanted them and neither of us would have been able to produce them without imitating a family life. Wizarding society is still not as open-minded as we'd like them to be. Penelope knows perfectly well that I'm gay and, in principle, we are rather free in our relationship.

No, life is not about love. It is about understanding.