To Find Where We Belong

Clara awoke feeling groggy, a familiar feeling she'd had many times following surgeries. The thought made her want to sink back into oblivion.

"Clara? Hey, little Muggle, you awake?" The voice was familiar somehow but at the moment she couldn't place it. She definitely knew she'd never been called 'Muggle' before. "Clara? Open your eyes, if you please? The nurse would like to know if you're with us."

"I'm here," she said thickly, wincing as the light pierced into her fuzzy head as she pried her eyes open. Memory was returning and she managed to smiled at the vision of Severus Snape perched as if ready to bolt in a plastic chair. "Severus? You stayed?"

"They did emergency surgery," he said, looking as if he were the one who'd been through the trauma. "I didn't feel right just leaving without making sure you're okay."

"You need to go," she told him. "You were supposed to go back tonight, weren't you?"

Severus ignored the opportunity to flee and snapped, "I hardly think this is the time for me to walk off with you in a hospital and all." He grew irritated when she just smiled at him. "You are going to have that surgery next week, as per the original schedule or I'll simply chop that leg off myself and make the entire situation moot," he continued angrily.

Clara struggled to sit up, angry that he'd treat her like a child. "I can't!" she cried but he shouted over her.

"You most certainly will! I will not be dragging you to a hospital for emergency surgery everytime I see you. You're life is one crisis after another. What am I doing here? I have no business being here!" He threw his hands in the air and Clara saw the stark terror in them. "I have nothing to do with your world nor you with mine. I must be out of my mind!"

"Severus -" Clara began in a concilatory tone but he turned on her.

"I'm sorry, Clara, but I have to go. It's been an interesting time but I'm afraid it won't work. Good-bye." The door slammed behind him, leaving both Clara and the nurse gaping in shock at where he'd been standing moments before.

Severus stalked down the hall and found an empty maintainence closet, ducking into it and casting the Apparation spell, reappearing just outside the village of Hogsmeade many miles north of London, deep in the heart of Scotland. He cursed himself for a fool the entire walk to the castle that served as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

As he stalked into the main hall and down to his dungeons, Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall found him on the stairs. "Severus? Severus!" called Dumbledore in a very worried tone. "Are you alright? Tom from The Leaky Cauldron sent the things you'd purchased to us by Floo, saying you'd not come back nor had anyone seen you."

Severus turned on them both with eyes that glinted like flint shards. "Leave. Me. Alone."

McGonagall took three steps backwards at the violent look but Dumbledore stood his ground, staring at Severus with an intensity that finally caused Severus to whip back around and begin down the steps. "I'll handle this, Minerva," Dumbledore told the other professor. She nodded, giving the retreating form of Severus Snape one last worried glance before hurrying away.

Dumbledore caught up with Severus and merely followed him to his office. Severus ignored the headmaster for almost a half an hour before exploding, "What the devil do you want?"

"Something happened." It was an obvious fact, but Dumbledore felt the comment would be enough to drive Severus over the edge. He was correct.

"Nothing at all happened, Headmaster," Severus rasped. "I merely visited a friend, who I later had to take to a hospital for emergency surgery. Why it's almost commonplace to sit in a Muggle hospital and watch people my age or -" He paused, considering Dumbledore a moment, "older," he continued lamely, "being led about on machines that help them breathe and live and...and..." He took a deep shuddering breath. "Why am I even bothering with a Muggle? They are useless, pathetic creatures, always in the way, always-"

"You visited a Muggle friend while in London, Severus?" Dumbledore looked interested. "Tell me, who is he?"

"She."

Dumbledore blinked in surprise. "She?"

"What, I can't have female friends?" Severus snapped irately.

"Of course you can, Severus, it's just the first I'd heard of her and I was surprised, that's all," soothed Dumbledore, trying desperately not to chuckle despite Snape's obvious discomfort over the situation. "Lovely woman, then?"

Before he could stop himself, Severus said, "Beautiful," and then looked aghast. Dumbledore did laugh then. "She's a chemist, we have much in common. I was responsible for getting her fired," he explained and when Dumbledore looked stunned at the news he added lamely, "I think."

"You think?"

"Well, I don't know the particulars but I did break some beakers of her experiment, but she thought she'd ..." Severus glared at the headmaster. "Doesn't signify. I've no business hanging about some stupid Muggle."

"Does this young lady have a name?" asked Dumbledore, as disconcerted as Severus.

"Doesn't matter," he snapped back and Dumbledore raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"All right, Severus, if you insist. I'll leave you in peace then." He walked to the door and opened it, pausing to look over his shoulder. "I'll see you at breakfast." Severus grunted and Dumbledore decided that was as close as he was going to get to a yes. "Good night." Severus grunted again as the door closed with a soft click.

Severus collapsed in his chair and stared numbly at the wall. "Doesn't matter," he repeated to the empty room.