To Find Where We Belong

Clara waited impatiently for Severus' arrival. She'd dressed up nicely and even put on make-up in an attempt to look her best. Though she'd been put through the ringer in the past few weeks the idea of seeing Severus again was enough to lift her spirits. Being a forthright type of person, Clara didn't ponder much on the feelings but accepted them for what they were. Ideas of romance were blossoming.

Severus exited the inn across the street, whose sign Clara was never able to quite read, no matter how close she was or how hard she concentrated. She meant to ask Severus its name but as soon as he walked up to her reserved table she promptly forgot. "Hello, Severus!" she called cheerfully.

He smiled at her, not exactly a loving smile but one filled with warmth. Something about him told Clara that it was not an expression he used often or without good reason. The innate knowledge made her feel special. "And how's Miss MacKenzie?" he asked courteously, sitting down across from her at the table, adjusting the long flowing black robes he was wearing.

"Tolerably well," she answered with a smile.

"I believe you had a teaching interview yesterday? How did it go?" Severus inquired but froze when her face turned grey.

"Not well," she mumbled, glancing down at her hands. "They needed an instructor that could also do athletics and well..." She motioned to her left leg pathetically and Severus felt a wellspring of anger course through him.

"They obviously don't know what they are missing," he informed her crisply.

"Is your school looking for anyone?" Clara asked. "Or have you heard of anything in Scotland? My parents have been keeping their ears open when they go to Glasgow or Edinburgh for business but they never hear of anything for chemistry."

Severus cleared his throat and shook his head. "I'm afraid not." At her downcast expression, Severus hastened to add, "But I've not had time to inquire about either. I shall make a point of it when I get chance and send you word if something comes up." He felt satisfied when Clara's cheerful expression came back.

"Um, Severus, do you have to go back soon?" Clara fiddled with her blouse top nervously.

He looked at her in puzzlement, beginning to wonder why she was suddenly nervous. Surely they were beyond this stage? "Not immediately but this evening yes." He watched as her discomfiture grew. "Why?"

Clara wished she hadn't come up with this plan but the need to snuggle with Severus had been on her mind a lot in the past few weeks and she felt she could be bold enough. "Well, I thought perhaps we could do some window shopping and then," she took a halting breath, "I thought perhaps you might want to watch one of the other Gene Kelly movies I was telling you about? I've got them at my flat." At his stiffening posture, she hastily added, "Just a movie. I thought we could pick up some Greek or Indian food to take to my flat and eat there intead of..." Horrified at his ever stiffening posture and emotionless features, Clara stumbled over her words. "But if it's n-not what y-you'd like, I understand. W-we can just sit and talk i-if you'd like."

Severus understood that Clara was mortified by his reaction but he couldn't stop the feeling that she was wanting something else, something he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to get into. 'There's no room for romance in your life,' he ruthlessly told himself. 'Put a stop to this at once. Besides, once she finds out who and what you are and were, she'll run screaming in the other direction.'

When the silence dragged out except for Clara's ragged breathing, she ventured a fearful, "Severus?", jerking him out of his inner thoughts.

Before his subconscious could stop him, he replied, "It sounds like a perfect afternoon."

Any observer would have been hard pressed to know who was more surprised by his answer, Severus or Clara. However, Clara being a clever girl knew an unusual opportunity when it came her way and quickly hurried him off. She chattered nervously at him the whole time, with him responding to questions or making suggestions. They made several clothing purchases for him and he purchased a nice little trinket necklace (gaudy but still nice) for her. They settled on Thai food, getting some take-out containers and drinks, with Clara leading the way to her flat.

To Severus' enormous surprise, he enjoyed himself immensely. The shopping expedition had been fun, really. While the movie show had been better for its screen and sound, there was something to be said for a more private surrounding when they settled on her couch for the videos. It took Clara a moment to garner her courage, but she took him by complete surprise when halfway through a ludicrous yet amusing movie called "The Pirate" she snuggled up to his side and he put his arm around her shoulders.

It was almost giddying.

The movie finished but neither seemed inclined to move, waiting instead for the other to do so. After several minutes stretched into an absurd length of time, Severus screwed up his courage and spoke. "Very entertaining. I'm not certain about the rhyming of the name Nina and the word neurasthenia but entertaining nonetheless."

"My brothers have always said that the movie is probably the dumbest one Judy Garland has ever done," confessed Clara in a small tone, "but I've always thought Gene in those pants were worth the torture of bad rhyming."

Severus refrained from further comment, mainly because he couldn't argue the point, not having a basis for reference at any rate. "Yes, well, I should get going." He tried to stand up but found Clara wasn't inclined to move. "Clara, I have to go."

"I know," she said, her voice still soft. There was something else there, though, that caught Severus' attention.

There was pain.

"Is something wrong?"

"Could I possibly inconvenience you to stretch out my leg?"

Severus stared down at her, nonplussed. "I'm sorry?"

"My leg, it's cramped so badly I can't move it, Severus." She sounded close to crying, much to Severus' alarm, and he gently pushed away from her to kneel beside the cushiony couch.

"Do you want it completely straightened?" he asked matter-of-factly, knowing that the less fuss made the better she'd feel. She nodded, keeping her gaze averted, but he could see the tears of humiliation in her eyes. As he slowly moved her leg from its crossed position under her good leg and gently straightened it out, kneading the muscles beneath the scars as he did so, Severus said casually, "I recall a mention of surgery. Is it soon? Or have you had it and merely in therapy now?"

"I can't afford it now," came the muffled response as Clara pressed her hand to her mouth to stop the sobs of pain.

"I see. Well, don't worry about it. Everyone gets leg cramps. No need for embarassment. Just relax, we'll get you feeling all right again." He continued to massage and knead the muscles but they didn't uncramp. In fact, it was as if the knots grew worse the more he worked.

"I don't think this is going to work," Clara cried softly, leaning into his shoulder to sob from the pain.

"I don't know where the hospital is," he told her, disturbed more than he thought he should be. It was as if he himself were in the excruciating agony she was obviously in.

"I can't walk anyway," came the sniffled response. "You'll have to call emergency to have them come get me. It's too far for you to carry me."

Panicked at not having a clue how to call emergency help, he swallowed and thought quickly. "Is the emergency number in England the same as in Scotland?"

Clara nodded. "Yes, it's 999."

Relieved the ruse worked, Severus picked up the phone and dialed the number. When the emergency operator answered, he informed her of the situation and gave the address Clara told him. "They will have someone there as soon as possible, sir," the operator reassured him. "Now please, I want you to remain on the line until they arrive that way we stay up-to-date on her condition." Severus agreed and between talking with the operator (which was nerve-wracking enough) and comforting Clara, Severus was a wreck when the emergency response team arrived.

Once they had Clara into the ambulance, she begged Severus to accompany her. Having no other idea what to do, he complied, after getting assurance from Clara's worried elderly neighbors that they would watch the flat (mainly because Severus had no idea where Clara had left her keys and no idea how to lock her door). He clambered in beside her and rode the rather bumpy ride the hospital.

Having never been in a Muggle hospital, Severus was in for a surprise. Wizard hospitals were peaceful, quiet, with the rooms private. Muggle hospitals were loud, chaotic and full of beeping, blinking machines that did everything from monitor heartbeats to keeping hearts beating. After four hours of sitting in the waiting room for news of Clara's condition, Severus was pretty sure he was glad he wasn't a Muggle, would never be a Muggle and was not exactly certain he wanted anything to do with a Muggle.

When the physician that went in with Clara came out, Severus was alarmed to see him wiping blood off his hands, as if he'd just been in surgery. "Are you Seveus Snape?" asked the doctor wearily.

"Er, yes?" Severus wasn't sure he wanted to admit to anything if blood was involved.

"Not to worry, son, she's doing fine, but if she had waited any longer she would have lost the stints and surgery wouldn't have helped a bit." The doctor smiled reassuringly when Severus blanched.

"Stints? What stints?" Severus was confused.

"You don't know?" It was the physician's turn to be confused. "I'm sorry, I thought you were familiar with her condition."

"I know she has a bad leg, that's all I know. What's this about stints? For that matter," Seveus found himself demanding, "what are stints!"

The doctor broke into laughter, angering Severus even more. "I'm sorry," the doctor laughed. "The situation we find ourselves is amusing when you've been up for almost forty-eight hours. Sit down and I'll explain."

Severus did as he was bid and got a quick education in Clara's condition, though the doctor was not certain how she came by it. "The condition of her leg is not a family illness or something but the result of an accident?" The doctor nodded. Severus was horrified. "And these stints are designed to keep the veins in her legs open so that blood can continue to flow?" Again the doctor nodded. "The injury must have been serious indeed."

"Yes, there was also extensive bone and muscle damage, which is what her surgery that was originally intended to be next week was to continue working on. Reconstructive surgery, I mean. From her medical records, she's had several of these surgeries that have slowly helped her improve her leg's condition. In fact, there was hope that with this surgery the stints could be removed, as the muscles would no longer be applying pressure to the veins. However, with her current financial situation and cancelling of the surgery, these temporary stints are going to have to last a bit longer. Difficult but not impossible."

"But she's fine?" Severus went straight to the part bothering him the most.

"She should be coming out of the sedative in about a half an hour. If you'd like to go in and sit with her, you are more than welcome to do so. Go down this hall to the elevator and take it to the third floor, room number 312. Stay as long as you need to, Mr. Snape. The emergency room has no time limit on visitors." The doctor patted Severus on the back as he stood to leave.

"Thank you," Severus said gravely. "I had no idea -"

The doctor waved the thanks. "Just take care of her, son, that's thanks enough. She's a tough young lady."

Severus felt absurdly proud, as he himself had been praised. "I will."