I Can't Be Your Friend

This might come as quite a shock,

But I've given it a lot of thought.

This thing that's come between us can't be ignored.

I've taken all I can;

This is where it's gotta end.

'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.

Sirius Black had been best friends with James Potter and Remus Lupin since his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In their second year, Peter Pettigrew had begun to follow them around, but Sirius had just never been as close to him as he was to the other two. Together they were "The Marauders", tricksters and pranksters. Always getting themselves into trouble, but always coming back for more.

Sirius had never felt at home when he was home. He hated his family, and cherished his time at Hogwarts. It was a haven. During the summer holidays, he found himself spending more and more time at James's house. But somehow that just wasn't the same either.

It wasn't until their third year when he figured it out. It was because Remus wasn't there with them.

And I can't be accused

Of not being there for you;

How many nights have you shown up at my door?

I hope you understand

That this wasn't in my plans,

But I can't be your friend anymore.

James and Sirius were the ringleaders of their band, always plotting the pranks and sometimes being forced to convince the others to come along with them. Remus was the quiet one. He was always the one pointing out what kind of detentions they could get assigned if they were caught, but he still went along with his friends' plans.

Sirius often asked Remus why he didn't join James and him over the summer. Remus always said he "just couldn't". This puzzled Sirius, who knew that Remus hated his time at home too. But then Sirius found out the reason - Remus was a werewolf. James figured it out third year, when he began to record the days that Remus disappeared or said he wasn't feeling well enough to join them in their pranks - once a month on every full moon.

Though James had been the first to realize Remus's secret, Sirius was the one who confronted him about it. Remus admitted to it, and apologized for not telling them, and from that point on, he told Sirius everything, even things he didn't tell the other two Marauders.

Sirius became Remus's confidant. They would stay up late talking about everything and nothing, and Remus confessed his deepest darkest secrets to Sirius, and Sirius did the same.

But at the beginning of their fourth year, Sirius realized there was one thing he couldn't tell Remus.

He was in love with the other boy.

And it was killing him that he couldn't say anything.

And it's killing me to know you

Without having a chance to hold you.

And all I wanna do is show you

How I really feel inside.

You can run to me,

You can laugh at me,

Or you can walk right out that door,

But I can't be your friend anymore.

Half way through the year, Sirius realized he had to tell Remus. He couldn't stand being just friends anymore.

"Remus, I need to talk to you," he said after dinner one night.

Remus looked up at him quizzically. "Alright," he said, getting up off the floor where he had been sitting. "What about?"

Sirius didn't say anything, just motioned for Remus to follow him. He led the other boy up to the dormitory.

First, he checked to make sure no one else was up there, and then he turned to Remus.

"Er... you might want to sit down," he said. Remus sat.

"Sirius, are you okay?" he asked.

"Look Remus, you know all those times we stayed up late in the Common Room talking?" Sirius said. Remus nodded. "And I told you everything? Well, I haven't been completely honest with you - I didn't tell you everything." Remus looked puzzled. Sirius continued, "I - the thing is, Remus, I - I can't be your friend anymore."

So, baby, now it's up to you:

Do I win or do I lose?

Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor?

Well, take me as I am,

'Cause I wanna be your man.

But I can't be your friend anymore.

"What!?" Remus exclaimed, standing up quickly. "What do you mean? I thought we were best friends!"

"We are Remus!" Sirius said. "We are! That's exactly my point! It's not that I don't like you - it's that I like you too much."

"What?" Remus asked, more subdued.

"I'm in love with you, Remus," Sirius said. "There, I said it. That's why I can't be your friend anymore. I can't stand not having you as - as more than a friend. Now, you can tell me how you feel, you can laugh in my face, or you can just walk out. But the bottom line is - I can't be your friend anymore."

And it's killing me to know you

Without having a chance to hold you.

And all I wanna do is show you

How I really feel inside.

You can run to me,

You can laugh at me,

Or you can walk right out that door,

But I can't be your friend anymore.

Remus considered Sirius for a moment, presumably trying to figure out if the other boy was telling the truth. Sirius tried to look as sincere as possible.

After a moment, Remus seemed to make a decision.

All he said was, "I love you, too."

It was all he needed to say.

We can't just be friends anymore.