Lily's Revenge

Lily's Revenge

Chapter Five: Screaming...

James lay there, contemplating getting up, but meanwhile was distracted by the argument going on between his head and body. His head hurt, it wanted to remain where it was, while his body cramped, wanting to get out of its uncomfortable position. James lay there having an argument with his memory. His memory was determined to inform him that he was standing beneath a tree arguing about a dangerous prank, while all James' senses told him that it was no longer morning and he was lying on his bed in the fifth year boys' dorm. A rumble from his empty stomach soon joined the fray, and so, unable to take the complaints any longer, James slowly sat up in his bed.

A feeling of vertigo knocked him off balance, and he thought he might fall back down into his bed, but then he rose above his protesting body parts and returned to a sitting position. His stomach let out an enormous roar, reminding him of hunger. Reaching down he clumsily searched through his trunk for something to eat. Finding a half-eaten pastry, he began to chomp into it - too dazed to notice the dirt clinging to it. The food, however old it was, managed to loosen his mind, and suddenly he found himself recounting the events of the day. He HAD been fighting against a prank... That prank with... What was her name?

LILY!

James jumped up in bed, and out of it. Landing on the floor with a massive thump he managed to lose his thought as all his aches flared into a sudden agony. "Lily," he whispered to himself, forcing the memory. Lily was going to go and get his friends expelled. His friends would become murderers for that crazy idiot. Scowling angrily, James managed to pull on some robes - never wondering how he lost the other ones - and stepped outside of the dorm into the common room.

Intent on finding Sirius and Peter, he searched around the common room, staring into each armchair as though thought itself would make them appear. It took him a while to realise that they actually weren't there, perhaps that was because he didn't want to believe it. If they weren't here then they were probably cooking up some evil scheme with that damned Lily Evans. James didn't know what to do. He had no way of remembering when they had organised to introduce Severus Snape to his Remus Lupin. Though he knew it couldn't possibly be this full moon as Remus was currently in the hospital ward, under the effects of some new potion that one of the professors had thought up.

Emma. The name, like Lily's, jumped into his head and took his mind in a different direction. If anything had happened, they would have had to do it through that Emma girl - she was whom they'd decided on.

Stepping out of the Gryffindor common room he began his search for the Slytherin, Emma. Outside, the full moon was yet to exit the horizon.

***//\//\***

Feeling rather stupid (which was unusual, as he was, in actual fact, extremely bright) James recalled his conversation with the Slytherin, Emma. Her sneering face stuck in his thoughts, and he wondered just how one girl managed to fit so many insults into a single sentence.

James hadn't been able to gain access into the common room, though he had expected as much. He had succeeded in finding the girl, however. After, though, a long and arduous journey through the only parts of the castle that he thought the Slytherins likely to live in - getting yelled at by the potions master and forced back into the upper levels in the process. He supposed that the Slytherin common room mustn't have been in the dungeons, yet it wasn't his fault that he associated all things slimy and green with that region of the palace.

Wandering about the castle like a lost first year - or seventh year: everyone was always getting lost in a castle that reorganised itself at least once a month - he finally chanced to bump into some Slytherins. Seeing Peeves up ahead with armfuls of ink-balloons they all managed to run behind the same statue at the same time. In the resulting tussle James managed to kick two Slytherins in the head, drop a dung bomb and reduce the small scuffle into outright chaos. He also managed to find out where he could go to find Emma Bishop.

"Down the hall and to the left. Turn right down the corridor opposite that statue of Grigpot the Grizzly, continue right until you reach the charms corridor, then walk backwards and count to eight while rubbing your left ear with your right pinky..."

Just the usual directions, and after following them he found himself in this weird lounge decorated with poisonous shades of green and purple. Emma was sitting there with two of her friends - thankfully, Severus wasn't there. Glancing up at him with her dark blue eyes, Emma ruined her beauty by sticking her nose in the air and wrinkling her face into a horrid sneer.

"Who're you? James, isn't it?" she answered without waiting for a reply. "You're ugly - look better in the Quidditch games 'cos your so far from where we look - always missing the action, aren't you? But nah, you're nothin' special at all. You can go now," she said, turning her head back to her friends, as if this was the only reason he'd been there in the first place.

James was tempted to walk away, then he remembered his friends, and made himself stay there. Trying to refrain from saying something rash, he smiled as if all that she'd said to him was merely part of some elaborate joke.

"Well, I'm glad that's all you wanted to say to me, because I certainly don't think I'd enjoy anymore," he spoke as if it meant nothing to him, though her comments had certainly punctured his ego.

"Are you STILL here?!" Emma wondered, waving her hands in a snobby manner. "Why, I thought I'd told you to go away AGES ago!" Her voice was slightly accented with a posh-know-it-all manner. "Can't you leave?" The previous drawl that she'd spoken with when insulting him was now replaced with this snooty, airy speech. James thought that steam would start gushing out his ears, he was fuming that much.

"Do you know where I might go to speak to Lily Evans?" he asked in a rush, trying not to let his outrage show through.

"Lily?" the girls sniggered, "Li'l cry-baby Lil? You want to speak to her?" she said, as though anyone wanting to speak to Lily was worse than crazy. James refrained from speaking the thought that it would at least be better than speaking to her.

"Well?" asked James.

"Well what?" Emma replied, stupidly.

James nearly screamed in frustration. "Do you know where Lily Evans is?"

All the girls sniggered again, then broke into outright laughter, starting up a conversation all about "Li'l cry-baby Lil". Seeming to forget that James was there, they continued their bitching for a full five minutes before James' shouting captured their attention.

"What do YOU want?"

The urge to walk away was so strong that James nearly did so. Your friends, she's trying to expel your friends, he thought over and over. Perhaps he said it out loud, too, because Emma and the two girls were staring at him queerly.

"Do you know where I might find Lily Evans?" he asked slowly, dictating each word as clearly as he could.

"Would I care? Ask Sky Winkkin, that's who her best friend is - if you hadn't guessed, I hate the wench." Then, turning back to her bitchy talk, Emma quickly forgot James and didn't notice as he quietly left the room.

So now, here he was. Once again wandering about like a lost teacher, student, donkey - whatever! - with almost no idea where to find Lily, let alone Sky Winkkin. He knew that they were both in Ravenclaw, though that was about it.

Up stairs, down stairs, along a hallway, down a hallway, up a hallway, through a passage, behind a statue, a tapestry, a painting...

And all the while the full moon rose higher, as the sun drifted closer towards the horizon: the darkness encroaching upon the light.

It was actually as he was passing the library that he heard something of interest: "Sky? Are you still at it? Surely you should have finished by now," spoke a sneering voice that he recognised as Emma's. "I suppose you can't do anything with out that cry-baby slut around to help. Oh, you're going to leave now? Is that a tear I see? Aww... I'm sorry - I really didn't mean to hurt you."

The sarcasm almost too thick to bear, James found himself scowling at the voice that had previously spoken to him. Thankfully he wasn't so close to the door as to get hit by it as a teary Sky pushed her way through. With eyes too blurry to see through, she did, however, manage to successfully run straight into James.

"Ugh luumu unn gwo awaaay," she mumbled into his chest as she hit. Looking down to the blonde, James wondered just how many different types of women there were, then focussed himself to consolidating this one.

"Calm down," he said, not wanting to touch her in case she was the violent type like Lily. "Shh... Don't worry." Now, that he thought about it, James decided that he really wasn't good at calming down girls - it seemed that he always had the most fun stirring them up.

Sky seemed to be getting along better. She pulled her face out of his chest, wiping her eyes furiously. Looking up to him, she suddenly blushed. "Er... James," his name came out as a squeak, "I'm sorry, very sorry," she said awkwardly, using her scattered books as an excuse to duck her head. When she had resurfaced, she looked a little more in control.

"Are you friends with Lily?" asked James. Sky looked instantly wary, and James wondered if he was going to get the same response as last time. Mentally preparing himself, it came as a shock when Sky replied:

"I am. You aren't going to try and hurt her, are you? I know she's unstable at the moment... But she is getting better, I promised..." James nearly sighed in relief. Obviously this girl was more concerned with her friends state of being than where she was positioned on the "bitch" scale.

"She's been talking to my friends lately, I was wondering where she is, because that would hopefully lead them to me," James was smiling now, trying to reassure her. The worried frown she got when he'd finished speaking, though, made him wonder whether there was something wrong with his face.

"She's been fidgety all day. Out this morning, and out tonight - muttering something about the Whomping Willow and werewolves... She kept looking at the moon..." Sky's talking slowly drifted to a stop as she realised James was no longer standing there. He was running down the hall, as fast as he could. Through a passage, shredding the tapestry in the process, behind a statue, up stairs and down them, into sitting rooms, past parties, through class rooms... He must have run through the whole school at least twice until he realised where he wanted to go. James was running to the great hall, knocking over Madam Pomfrey, though in too much of a hurry to do anything but call-out: "Sorry". All the while, over and over in his head was a little note that contained a scrap of information that he'd managed to scrounge off the nurse...

"We would like to inform you that Remus Lupin is continuing successfully with his medication, though the potion will not be strong enough to last over the High Moon - when the moon is fullest. That is all.Madam Marmalade."

He continued to run through halls, then on to the entrance. Through the massive doors and he was out into the night. James had been a full animagus for only a month now, though he was pretty certain that he had the spell down right. Leaping so that he might land right, James changed into a grand white stag, his horns, or prongs, jutting out of his head like a crown.

The world turned into shifting shades of white and black. Ahead of him, he could see Lily hiding behind a tree. A large shape to his right looked like the Grim, though he knew it was only Sirius in dog-form. A lump on his back could have been Peter, though James wasn't certain. He was too busy concentrating, for right ahead of him sat Severus. His clothes torn from the branches and his hands dirty from grubbing around in the dirt; he held his prize aloft.

A long stick, clasped firmly in his hand. Succeeding at prodding the right spot, the tree froze.

***//\//\***

I stared in shocked horror at the story unfolding before me. Too far away to see what he'd done, I watched in amazement as the Whomping Willow's branches froze, showing clearly the tunnel that lay beneath. Obviously Severus was going after Remus, yet I could not, for the life of me, imagine why he thought it safe to follow. Then I realised.

Obviously Sirius and James had set this up. No, maybe not James, but certainly Sirius. For some reason Severus was of the belief that Sirius, Peter and Remus were trying to get out of the school. Severus always had a passion for trying to get the Marauders expelled, and I supposed this must have seemed the ideal possibility. The fact that he'd still fallen for it despite the fact that Madam Pomfrey has escorted Remus made me laugh. He was SO stupid.

My laughter turned hysterical as I realised just how close to my goal I was.

Or how far.

At that moment, that stupid, STUPID, James Potter chose to interrupt. I knew it was him, despite his being in a different form. I knew it had to be. He jumped out in a beautiful leap towards Severus, just as my dreams were about to come true.

Crashing into Severus as a snowy blur, James still succeeded in pushing him away. I was furious. My hopes, dreams, desires and wishes were all crashing down around me. I could feel them as a pang to my heart, forcing me to the ground where I lay there, shattered. I did not notice James as he only just missed being hit by the waving branches as they started to swing crazily once more. If I had noticed, I might have spat, for that chance to kill him had been lost. My heart felt torn to a million shreds, while my mind floated around in my head drunkenly. My muscles became slack as my body threatened to force me into unconsciousness.

A wrenching in my belly pulled me back however, and my aching throat forced me to retch all the food I'd eaten that day. Vomit covered me; my throat throbbed. Tears tried to stream down my face, though I shut them tight, refusing to give into such weakness.

Thoughts, pictures, dreams, ideas... all rushed through my head. Images of Severus and I; studying, joking, laughing together... I'd held no sorrow at my wish for his death, only crazy joy. For the first instant, guilt for my wishes prevailed and I felt my heart begin to crumble. In a strange moment of lucidity, I wondered if everyone who had been denied every joy that they desired felt this way.

Remembering what Severus had done to me, however, I smiled and began to scream in a semi-conscious fury. The tears were building up behind my eyes as I tried to stop their approach, though my anger forced them out as hot, painful streaks. My head ached all over, throbbing at the temples. My wand and magic forgotten, I remembered only hate and unsatisfied desire. Desire ruined by him. I knew my chance would never come again.

I screamed, all the heartache, all the fury, all the knotted muscles and tears advancing with it.

Then the blackness came and swallowed me up, and I fell into its embrace as I might the lover I'd never had.