Things Unsaid

I never even knew she existed until that day on the train. I suppose it's to be expected - she's a year younger and in a different house than I am. But expected or not, I regret not knowing her before that day.

Unfortunately, I was so self-absorbed at that point that I didn't even give her a chance to make her mark on my soul. All I cared about was getting news about Sirius - and she had it. Well, The Quibbler had it, and she had The Quibbler. She let me borrow it, and I, disappointed at what I found, dismissed her as an oddity.

Just like everyone else.

I wonder how that year would have been different if I had allowed her into my life from that point on. I've yet to come to a satisfactory conclusion, but it keeps me away some nights.

I can try to tell myself that she was in my life. She was a member of the DA, she helped me get my story into the hands of the public, she believed me when no one else would. But she was never really a part of the "inner circle", no matter what I try to tell myself.

I cringe when I think of how many times I simply brushed her away, how many times I wrote her off as a lunatic. I'm ashamed with myself for how narrow-minded I was about such trivial things. The radish earrings. The crazy theories. The wand tucked behind her ear. I thought she was odd, weird, abnormal.

In truth, she's the most normal of us all.

I know what you're thinking. How can someone so odd be normal? The only explanation I can give is that she knows who she is. How many of us can truly say that about ourselves? Not many, I'd wager.

That's part of her beauty. Even though we may not understand her, she understands herself. The things that seem crazy to us make perfect sense to her.

She's also free. Free from what other people think of her. That is a power far greater than anything done with a wand.

But one of the most amazing things about her is her ability to understand people. And not just understand, but truly care. She really cares about what happens to her friends. I will never forget the day she told me that she could see the Thestrals too. At the time, I wasn't comforted in the least, but in hindsight, I see just how valuable that connection was. She understood me, during a time when I felt misunderstood by everyone.

When everyone in the school had turned against me, she was the one who gave me her vote on confidence, without any proof whatsoever. I'm ashamed to admit that I dismissed her then, as well.

It took me far too long to truly appreciate her unique gifts. But when it happened, it happened all at once, in grand fashion. Her ability to see the Thestrals was quite useful on our midnight rescue mission. Her calm demeanor soothed our nerves when we were in danger. Her bravery came to the surface during the battle at the Ministry.

And when it was all over, her sympathetic manner brought me out of my despair, even if only for a moment. That moment, when she spoke to me of Sirius, means more to me than I can say.

So all I can say now is thank you. Thank you, Luna, for understanding me.