In My Time Of Need

I can't see the meaning of this life I'm leading

I try to forget you as you forgot me

This time there is nothing left for you to take,

This is goodbye

I am Sirius Black. I know hatred. I know pain. I got out of Azkaban. I wanted to find little Wormtail. I wanted to get back at him. I wanted to kill him. I found him and he lived. I found him and he told Voldemort secrets. Secrets. The rat told Voldemort everything. Wormtail has betrayed. He will lose, but what will become of me? I live for Harry. Harry. My true friend's son. I will always be there. Wormtail won't. He is alive. Yet he is deader than I.

Summer is miles and miles away

And no one would ask me to stay

And I should contemplate this change

To ease the pain

And I should step out of the rain

Turn away

I am Harry Potter. The one thing I want, the thing I need is Sirius. Irony. Irony is when you finally get what you want just to have it ripped away from you. Irony is the word to sum up my life. Now somehow the sun never shines. I don't know what to do. I want to ask Sirius. But I can't

Close to ending it all, I am drifting through the stages

Of the rapture born within this loss

Thoughts of death inside, Tear me apart from the core of my soul

Summer is miles and miles away

And no one would ask me to stay

I am Sirius Black. I can remember now. Remember the good. Before the first war. Yet with these memories comes the ability to think. To contemplate. To believe. Perhaps it is too late. I am beyond the veil. Am I happy? I ask myself this only to feel that I never knew happiness. Before I knew Azkaban, I was content. I was foolish to believe that was true happiness. It is now that I realize I did not know what I wanted. Now I know. And it's not happiness or revenge that for so long I would have killed for.

And I should contemplate this change

To ease the pain

And I should step out of the rain

Turn away

I am Harry Potter. I don't like it, but I am. All I have is my friends now. And they don't understand. I suppose their biggest problem is me. But they don't understand. They've never lost a parent. I keep thinking about what Luna said. Maybe Sirius and I will see each other again. That's what I want to believe. At this time, I'm not sure of what's real. Is the sympathy that people show me empathy or apathy? They say it takes a tragedy for there to be unity. Or peace. I hope Sirius is at peace. Now he is a free man.

At times the

Bark's fading slowly

But it never sustains

I am Sirius Black. I let Harry down. I let my godson down. Supposedly, a godfather cares for, gives advice, and loves their godson. I know I loved him. But what else? There should be a limit on how many times someone can let people down. Or a limit on how many times one person can be let down. It is a curse that something so pure as a newborn baby can be manipulated so easily. By being neglected, looked down upon, being criticized. Or being loved, shown compassion, given chances. I let Harry bare the burden of the former. I let him down.

Would someone watch over me

In my time of need

I am Harry Potter. To most, The Boy Who Lived. To the people who care, the people who matter, I am just Harry. And I am grieving. My friends want to comfort me. I stay alone. I look into the mirror, hoping to see glimpse of a man that used to be. Funny how things change so quickly, how someone who had just found freedom and just re-realized what it is like to be alive, is taken away in just moments. Moments that last an eternity. People ask me if I'm alright. They try not to hurt me. I want them to treat me like nothing has happened. That way Sirius will come look through this mirror and smile at me.

Summer is miles and miles away

And no one would ask me to stay

And I should contemplate this change

To ease the pain

And I should step out of the rain

Turn away