Brilliance

Generally, I've got nothing against hugging, hell, I enjoy a good hug once in a while, but being squeezed to death on a Wednesday afternoon isn't really my cup of tea. Yes, I *had* helped Peter with his extra-credit assignment in Transfiguration, but we both knew that it wasn't totally for his benefit - even if he received an Outstanding. (Anything less and I would've killed McGonagall! Peter and I had worked hard on it during the hols. We had perused and excerpted from four books on Animagi and eventually had a four ft. essay on Animagi and a six ft. of parchment on how to become one; including common and not so common mistakes and other important titbits. McGonagall got the shorter one, of course).

When we had been done with it - finally -, it was one day before school started again. I had planned on being lazy, sprawling in an armchair in front of the fire, eating Swiss chocolate, and letting my mind drift. Instead, I had spent it working frantically on my Charms, Herbology and Potions essays, which were due the following day. If I hadn't been off my rocker before, this would have been the end of my sanity. I mean, you had to be barking mad to try the Animagus transformation at my age!

After reading all those books - and, mind you, they were most probably edited, leaving out the nastier aspects of it - I finally understood why Remus had backed down so easily. If we were lucky we'd be finished by the time we did our OWLs. Provided, of course, that I was still alive and not strangled to death by an overly enthusiastic classmate.

"It's - "(choke)" - alright, - "(gasp)" - Peter."

I patted him on the back and then tried prying him loose from me, but he had a firm hold on my neck. James was doubled over laughing, so I turned my eyes imploringly upon Remus. The bastard only grinned in return!

Ten very long minutes later Pipsqueak finally unhanded me and we could leave the second floor corridor and head to dinner. Just as we settled down at the Gryffindor table, Benzen shuffled in. He couldn't move very fast since he had to take care not to tread on his overly long beard, courtesy of the Marauders. At lunch we had put a hair growth potion into his food. Until an antidote would be administered, Benzen's hair would grow two inch per minute, and it just so happened that the Potions mistress could not find the vial with the antidote and thus first had to brew it. It usually only took a good one and a half hours to make the potion. It took another five

hours, however, for it to simmer, and another two to cool.

This was the second prank we had played on Benzen since the end of the holidays. After Mission Early Christmas Present had failed we had decided to try again at the next Hogsmeade weekend. As this was still some time away, we had looked for other ways to avenge ourselves.

The motto was 'constant dripping wears away the stone'. It was Remus' idea.

We would do nothing big, just little things, little irritating things at random times. Water buckets over the doorframe, earmuffs that were glued together, screaming gardening tools, and so on. Just things that wouldn't get us expelled if we ever got caught (but we didn't get caught).

In fact, our newly devised plan went off without a hitch. Each day Benzen got more irritable and twitchy.

Till suddenly we stopped. Nothing, nada, nil, zero. But the git didn't know that we would leave him alone for the following three weeks. It was fun to watch him become more and more paranoid, checking the doorframe, his personal belongings, everything for curses, finding nothing but living in fear that, if he did stop looking, he'd be attacked again.

Two weeks after we had stopped and five days before the next Hogsmeade weekend, he finally relaxed.

Perfect timing.

"And there he goes," Remus breathed into my ear. Indeed, Peeves finally left the suit of armour and cackled his way along the corridor. As he passed us, I fancied I could hear James' heartbeat to my left. It probably was mine.

We waited another minute, just to be sure. It wouldn't do for us to be caught so close to success.

"Revelo."

The door to Benzen's office shimmered green for a moment. Could either be an automatic stunning curse or -

"Cobweb Hex and a password triggered alarm." Remus really was an expert at that stuff, breaking curses and disabling wards.

"No reward for guessing that password." I remarked. 'Alohomora' What else!

He nodded distractedly.

"Something's off, though. Step back." We did. He murmered a spell and jumped out of the way.

A giant net covered the place he had occupied. Now about the alarm.

How to get rid of it...

James shook his head.

"Bloody impossible."

I agreed. The password triggered alarm required a password in order to not be triggered by 'Alohomora'.

"Well, then we have to be fast about it," Remus spoke up again. I looked at him. Where was that angelic, shy and cautious boy I had first met after the Sorting Ceremony? We couldn't have corrupted him that quickly and that thoroughly! Still, I could find no trace. It must have been an act.

James checked his watch.

"Let's give the git another ten minutes to make himself comfortable in Hogsmeade."

The git had left Hogwarts half an hour ago. We had watched him marching towards the village from a window in Gryffindor tower, then slowly began making such a ruckus (Go, Filibusters, go!) that even Lily "I can't hear you" Evans had given up and had left the common room. Peter was still there, setting off a firework from time to time and playing a tape on Remus magically powered cassette player to ensure, that everyone could attest to the fact, that we hadn't left the common room, they had heard us talking clear enough.

I sighed and took my place as a look out at the end of the corridor. Not that I expected anyone to come down here. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, the weather was fine outside, the dungeons were freezing. Better safe than sorry, though.

One glance at that faithful little device on my left forearm told me something I had not expected.

Only one minute had passed.

Hrmph.

I so hated waiting.

But, well, it gave me time to philosophise some more.

Another titbit of information, which I remembered from Astronomy classes, was, that time passes slower, the farther you are from the centre of earth. Of course, the closer you are to any big mass flying around in space, the faster time will pass. It's a matter of mere seconds per years, however.

What really slows down time - in my humble opinion - is not a big mass; it's a big event, the kind you look forward to. That's why I so hated waiting and always would.

I checked my watch again. Two minutes. I had contemplated the secrets of the universe and it had only taken me two bloody minutes. See, what I mean?

James sauntered over and pressed his Cloak into my hands. I blinked.

"Don't want it to get ripped or something."

Yeah, there *was* that possibility of there being more hexes.

He left again.

If things are going too perfect they're bound to change for the worst pretty soon, my stomach informed me. I did not want to think about that at that point. Didn't wanna jinx it.

I began counting cobwebs. Unfortunately, there were only two. One of them being that big one in front of Benzen's door.

Then I counted the dead flies in the smaller web. There was one.

The torches proved to be more numerous. Seven of them.

Why was it, that Remus and James did not have any problems with it? They didn't look bored at all! Or were they just more adept at hiding it?

I started counting my fingers - one might have disappeared, you never know.

... nine, ten. Were both of my legs still there?

...two. Yes.

Eventually though, that excruciatingly long wait was over.

"Alohomora."

Each of us held his breath.

Silence.

They stormed into the office, anyway. 'No sound' did not equal 'no alarm'. Most likely, the git was hurrying back this very second, having been alerted by a vibrating sock or something similar.

Maybe even vibrating boxer shorts.

Phew, bad mental image.

I had believed these ten minutes to be bad. Holding out until James and Remus came back out of his office was three times worse.

Two of my fingernails mysteriously shrunk in the meantime. It looked as though someone had gnawed on them.

"Okay, let's go!"

We hid under the cloak and hurried back to the tower. On the way, we passed Benzen but he took no notice of us.