To Be Loved

It had begun quite innocently, there was no infatuation, no lust, and most certainly no sex, yet, it had begun, and it did grow. It blossomed into a passionate affair and then fell into a terrible tragedy. And so the story begins the summer of Harry's seventeenth birthday.

Eye Contact

It was to be a harsh summer. The damn Muggles, which Harry Potter was forced to stay with, had made him get a summer job. "It's time you learn how the real world works. You can't always take the easy way out with your magic," his fat uncle had said in the car after he had picked him up from the train station.

Uncle Vernon had already chosen a job for him and it was absolute torture! He was to work at a small shoe store mundanely named 'The Shoe Store'. His job was entirely made up of fitting ugly shoes onto Muggle's reeking feet. He often would nearly vomit because of the odor.

Not only was the smell horrid, but so were the people he had to deal with. Muggles seemed to not have the slightest sense of gratitude to any being that had to serve them. Many of them looked upon Harry under their gigantic, pointy noses with disgust. One Muggle woman actually had kicked Harry when he had accidentally tied some, hideous brown tennis shoes a smidgen too tight. At that moment he had actually considered using magic on her, yet had stopped himself.

The walks home were no fun either. His job was located a mere twenty minute walk away from Privet Drive, yet on days of rain the walked seemed to be forever. These very walks had given him numerous treacherous colds.

When he was back at the Muggle's house it was no better. The fear of his godfather, Sirius Black, still remained to his uncle, so Harry was able to often throw the name out to get some things that he wanted, yet not all. For example, he was unable to see any of his friends at school; which meant that he would be away from his boyfriend Draco Malfoy, until the summer was up.

The fact that Harry was gay was another reason for the Dursleys to believe that he was a freak. Not that the way he had told them was the best. He had broken the news to them right away at breakfast the morning after he had arrived. He merely stated, "Isn't he pretty," while staring at a moving picture of he and Draco kissing goodbye.

This statement had made Aunt Petunia look up from her coffee, Uncle Vernon put down the newspaper he was reading, and Dudley drop his spoon into his cereal. "What was that?" Uncle Vernon sneered.

"Isn't he positively gorgeous!" He flipped the picture over for all the Dursleys to see. They all gasped to see him and the striking blonde boy snogging away. "His name is Draco, Draco Malfoy! He's my boyfriend," he looked around at their stunned faces. "I'm gay, by the way," hoping to clear up their state of shock, yet failed.

For five minutes all three Dursleys sat staring at him with shock before Dudley cried, "I knew it!"

Dudley Dursley was once the fattest young man Harry had ever known, yet after several years of serious dieting, he had finally shrunken to a considerable size. He, as well, had finally found a more attractive way to wear his hair, and wore better clothes. Though, he always remained as cruel to Harry as ever.

Surprisingly, Dudley was constantly dating very pretty girls, and often threw it in Harry's face! He always teased Harry of not having ever dated any girls. Now that Harry had outed himself, all the teasing was sure to be increased.

Harry noticed that Dudley seemed to be a bit jealous that Draco was so handsome. Not that Dudley was gay, he was extremely straight. He was not a homophobe, and seemed to be exceedingly confident with his sexuality. His only reaction to Harry's sexuality was that of his usual disgust and not of discomfort.

Harry glared at Dudley, who snickered and turned to his father, "Well I guess he's even weirder than we thought!"

Uncle Vernon, who had been eyeing Harry, muttered, "Apparently..."

Aunt Petunia, an ugly, tall, skinny woman, scowled disapprovingly at the boy, almost more so than when she had told him about him being a wizard. "Well, you shall not be having that Derek-Dragon-David... what-ever-his-name-is... at this house! Tell your little freaky, gay friends that you will not be able to visit any of them this summer!" she snapped.

Harry's eyes fiercely looked at her behind his spectacles. "What?! You can't do that! I'll tell my godfather!" he threatened.

"Tell your damn godfather whatever you want!" Uncle Vernon hissed, "That threat has worn old with me!"

"It's always 'my godfather this' and 'my godfather that'... Why don't you go live with him!? No one has ever wanted you around here!" screamed Dudley.

"I would if I could!" Harry yelled, though his eyes slightly watered with tears. He hated the fact that he had to live with the Dursleys, yet he often wished that they did at least like him. It hurts to be unwanted.

Harry stood up and ran away from the table before anyone could see even a single tear trickle down his twisted face. When he reached his room he shut the door and burst into tears. His legs became weak and he found himself falling to the floor. From behind his bent knees poked out his watery green eyes that stared off into nowhere.

Harry always wanted to be loved, it was his only desire. It was because of this single want that he and Draco worked so well together, actually. They both had been neglected from love throughout most of their lives. Though, how Draco and he dealt with want of love was different, Harry crammed his life with as many people who could love him as possible to fill the void he had had from lack of love when he was a young child. He tried to find as many friends as possible; he looked to adult figures for parent-like roles to him.

In his fifth year, Harry discovered that having sex seemed to feel the gap best. He had turned into a, well, slut since last year and had slept with thirty-two different people. Though, as much as he had thirsted for the feeling of completion, he never found it. He never lost hope of this search and continued to seek it out with sex.

Draco, on the other had, was completely opposite. Because of his serious fear of rejection, he pushed people away. This had made it difficult for Harry to begin a relationship with him. Draco had trust issues; he found it nearly impossible to trust any single soul. Harry had gone through quite an ordeal to break down that barrier; though, finally Draco had given Harry his full trust. Little did he know Harry's desperate need for constant love.

Being away from Draco for an entire summer would be unbearable to Harry. He had to touch him, he had to kiss him, he had to be loved by him. He didn't know what to do; he loved Draco a great deal. He could not be unfaithful to Draco, it would destroy the entire trust they had built up for one another. He grasped his forehead trying to understand his situation more.

He decided to write to Draco; perhaps this would help him get through the pain.

Harry sat with his quill in his hand trying to think of what to write, and then it came to him. He wrote:

Dearest Draco-

I cannot stop thinking of you. I miss you! The Muggles have banned me from seeing you! I cannot take another day without you, though.

This summer they are worse than ever! They made me get a job! It's horrible! I hate it! I work at a store called 'The Shoe Store' where I must fit shoes on people's feet! You can't imagine how gross it is!

Draco, I must see you... can you get away from the mansion? I'm not sure how we will meet, do you have any ideas? You must write back at once! I love you-

Harry

After Hedwig had left, he fell onto his bed. His eyes shut and he fell asleep.

A week had came and gone, and Harry had not received a single letter from his boyfriend. Every morning he hoped to see Hedwig flying threw his window, yet he didn't, at least not until one day exactly two weeks after he had sent Hedwig off.

When the letter had dropped into Harry's hands a smile spread across his face. He had not smiled a single time in the two torturous weeks. He quickly tore open the letter and began to read.

Harry-

Do not write to the mansion again.

Before another word could be read the letter had been snatched away from his hands. Harry looked up to find the blonde Dudley, who must have snuck in when he was reading, sneering at him.

"Well, cousin, it seems you have got a letter!" he skimmed over it for a moment, and then turned his attention back to Harry who had been glowering at him.

"Give it back, you ugly arse!"

"What was that Harry?" his cruel eyes lowered, "just for that, you shall never see your beloved letter from your queer boyfriend!"

He removed a lighter from his pocket. Before Harry could say an extinguishing charm, the parchment that Dudley held burst into flames and was gone.

"NO!" Harry desperately screamed, "I HATE YOU!" His eyes filled with tears as he watched Dudley stamp out the fire.

Dudley let out a mean laugh and sauntered out of the room. Harry fell to his knees and gathered the ashes as though he may be able to retain some information from them.

That was the most horrible thing that Dudley could do, and he knew it. Harry had been waiting to read that delivery for two weeks. The thought of it arriving had reminded Harry of his faithfulness to Draco and made him keep his sanity.

Although his only desire was to sit in bed all day and cry over the loss of the letter, Harry had to go to work. He had a short cry as he dressed. He stepped in front of the mirror as he dried his eyes. He slipped his hands into his hair and ran his fingers to the edge of his hairline creating a tousled look. He slung his messenger-type-bag over his chest, took one last long look at himself, and was off.

He had no desire to be seen by the Muggles, so he dashed out of the house as quietly as possible. Luckily, no one noticed him leave.

Once on the road, he began to think of the letter he had received from his boyfriend. What did he mean 'Don't write to the mansion again'? He thought. Was Draco angry with him because he had written there? Where was Harry to write to if he could not write to the mansion? He knew the day would be terrible now; he had to know what else Draco had written!

He had reached the shoe store, yet had not realized it until his Muggle boss came bolting over to him with his arms hysterically tossed into the air. He was a short, roly-poly man, with a balding spot on the top of his head. His eyes were too close together, and his beak-like nose stuck so far from his face that it would often run into objects. "You're late! Hurry up! It's busy today!"

Harry looked into the tiny store, not a soul was anywhere to be seen. "I think we'll live," he muttered under his breath.

The morning had gone by slowly. Harry could not stop thinking about Draco. He had no idea if he was angry with him or wanted to meet him. Though, the lack of knowledge truly bothered him.

Before long, the chubby little man appeared from his office. "Go to lunch. You have thirty minutes."

Harry nodded and grabbed his bag. He knew he had little time, so he had to spend it wisely. He enjoyed shopping in the wizard world, yet the Muggle stores were not anything special and he had really little Muggle money.

He often enjoyed having a cup of coffee at the small coffee café across from the store, which was quite satisfactory to Harry; he often spent his lunch breaks there.

The café was often quiet, with hardly any people in there most of the time. Harry sat at his usual table at the window; he enjoyed watching people pass by. He waited for Breanne, the usual waitress, to serve him. Breanne was a dark haired woman, who was a medium height, and had a lean body that, today, was draped with a short, red dress. "Usual I presume," she smiled.

"Thank you, Breanne!" he sighed.

"Hard day already," she tilted her head empathetically.

"Aren't they always?"

She gave a small, almost forced, laugh, "I'll be back in a minute."

As Harry sat and waited for his regular coffee to be brought to him he watched many Muggles pass by the window in front of him. It was then that Harry, intuitionally, felt as though some one could be watching him. He turned to find an attractive young man behind the counter, which was next to the door, gazing at him. He immediately returned to the window reminding himself of his commitment to Draco.

A minute had passed and Harry could no longer ignore the eyes. He found his own emerald eyes wandering back to the gorgeous man who had remained starring at him. They made eye contact once more, before Harry pulled himself away with much guilt.

A moment passed, and a coffee was pushed in front of him, though it was by a hand that was more masculine than Breanne's. Harry's eyes followed up the hand to an arm to a face that was grinning at him. It was the attractive young man from behind the counter! Up close he was even more striking. He had light brown, shaggy hair that went a little past his ears. Here and there he had tactful highlights in his sandy-colored hair, which created a summery look.

His wide-set eyes were a twinkling turquoise. These same eyes followed down the line of Harry's body nonchalantly.

Harry smiled at the man, who had a quite handsome bronzed face.

The young man had been grinning at Harry ever since he had first seen, and these smiling lips exposed his snow-white teeth.

His body was slender, yet defined and chiseled. Over his body he wore a green button-down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to a three-quarter length.

"Hi," he winked.

Harry grinned, "Hi".

Vibes surged between them; they both could feel chemistry.

"Hey, what are you doing? You're supposed to be making the coffee, not serving it," Breanne interrupted the moment.

"Oh, uh... s-sorry, I-I... um... I-"

"Just get back to work," she rolled her eyes.

He scurried back to his post.

"Who was that," Harry nodded towards the man as he made his way back to the counter.

"Oh, that's just Thomas, he's new. Started today, actually."

"Yea..." Harry remained watching him.

Breanne smiled, "Harry, I do believe you have taken a liking to him! I'm jealous!"

"What," coming back from the daydream, "oh, uh... no... I..."

"Don't worry Harry, secret's safe with me!" she studied his face, "seems to be quite taken by you! Women can tell those things, you know."

Harry beamed, "Thank you, Breanne." He glimpsed at his coffee before gulping the entire cup down in one drink. He let out a gasp as he wiped his pink lips with his arm, "I'd better be off!"

"Alright, Harry! See you tomorrow!"

He gave a wave as he left. Though, before he was out of the cafe he glanced at Thomas, once more, who was starring at him with his mouth in a slightly opened slanted smile. Harry grinned to himself as he crossed the street to return to his work.