Forgive Me

Forgive Me

"Maybe you're just not good enough for me then."

The words still echoed in Ginny's head, causing her to cry harder. How could he do this to her again? Draco always looked down upon her; even now that they were married he still acted like he was embarrassed of her sometimes. Sometimes it almost felt like he hated her.

She sat all alone up in their room at the inherited Malfoy Manor, staring out at the courtyard and the beautiful Manor rolling out almost to the edge of the forest encircling their land. It was a wonder how something so beautiful could hold so many problems.

Tears were silently streaming down her face and falling into her lap but she made no move to wipe them off.

All of a sudden, there was a gentle knock at the door.

"Ginny, please let me in," Draco said softly--so softly that Ginny could barely hear him.

Draco felt lower than dirt. He couldn't believe he had said that to her. Ginny was his only true friend; he loved her so much it hurt. What had he done now?

Can you forgive me again?

I don't know what I said

But I didn't mean to hurt you

He knocked on their bedroom door again, calling out her name. He needed Ginny. He loved her with a fierce passion that was new to him. Finally he sunk to the ground, leaning his head back against the door, hands covering his eyes. What would become of him if Ginny left? The woman that had slowly become closer to him had so fast become distant. Argh, why did he have to let his temper always get the better of him? He sighed heavily, fighting back tears.

I heard the words come out

I felt like I would die

It hurt so much to hurt you

It must have been hours later, Draco had fallen asleep against the wall. He was awakened by the opening of the door he was leaning against. With a start, he almost tumbled backwards, and would have if it wasn't for Ginny standing behind him. He looked up at her red, tear-stained face and wanted to cry, she looked so lonely and hurt.

"Ginny..." he breathed, feeling a strange hurt and longing for her. He got to his feet and cradled her face in his hands, kissing her cheek lightly. Ginny pulled away, and it tore his heart in two to see her hate him like that.

"Oh, Ginny I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it--I...there is no excuse for what I did--all I can say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She looked at him, and finally spoke: "God, Draco, how can you do this to me? If you don't love me then say so so I won't waste any more tears or time on you. You're not worth it!" She was shouting now.

"I have a horrible temper, Ginny; I'll never treat you like that again. I love you more than I could ever love anything. I can't love you any more than I do. I love you so much it hurts," he said desperately, waiting for her reaction.

She just stared at him, not sure if she should believe him or not, utterly silent.

Then you look at me

And you're not shouting anymore

You're silently broken

Finally, she spoke in a barely audible whisper. "What if I still hurt?"

Draco looked over her head, a single tear rolling down his face. Ginny reached up and brushed it away with her finger, softly sighing.

He took a deep breath and looked down at her again. It was a few minutes before he answered her. "What I have done to you is completely unacceptable. You deserve better, Ginny. You....you probably deserve better than me. And I know you still hurt. But you're just going to have to believe me when I say that I'd die for you, Ginny. I would take all your hurting and your burden on my own shoulders if I could. But I can't. And I'm sorry that I can't."

Once again, Ginny was silent, thinking. She knew that she couldn't leave him. It would hurt her as much as it would hurt him--even more than she was hurting now. She had been verbally abused, and she was a strong woman who wouldn't take it. How did she know if Draco was telling the truth or not?

"Please, Virginia," Draco started, "say you'll forgive me. If not now, in time."

I'd give anything now

To kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry

I don't want to lose you

But somehow I know that you will never leave me

"I don't know yet Draco. You cut me deeply, and even if the cut heals there will still be a scar. There always will be. You have to be willing to accept the fact that I may never be able to completely put this behind me."

Draco was silent, thinking about this. Finally, he took a deep breath.

"Yes. Yes, I can understand that. It's just that if I ever lost you I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I don't know if you feel the same way or not, but..." He trailed off, trying not to cry again. His years of discipline were slowly wearing off on Ginny.

Because you were made for me

Somehow I'll make you see

How happy you make me

Ginny hesitantly put her warm hand to his smooth cheek. He looked at her in surprise, then drew her into his arms as if he could protect her from everything she ever had to go through. "I'm so sorry," he whispered softly into her ear. Ginny smiled the smallest smile, and stood on tiptoe and kissed him gently.

I can't live this life

Without you by my side

I need you to survive

So stay with me

You look into my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry

Ginny broke the kiss and looked up at him. Scarred green eyes met with experienced steely ones. It was funny how much they clashed yet how much they blended. Two were one.

Draco leaned down and kissed her passionately, running his hands through her hair. When they stopped, Ginny reached up close to his ear.

"I still love you, Draco," she whispered, smiling.

And you forgive me again

You're my one true friend

And I never meant to hurt you