Fear and Loathing

Ron looked down at the picture in the newspaper again. Yes, it was her. He never spoke to her again after that night. He blamed her for driving his best friend away. A sadness filled his heart, he needed to take a walk. He walked over to the door and grabbed his cloak. He stopped as he reached for the door handle and looked once more at the paper in his hand. He threw it in the trash and stepped out.

"Ron! Ron!" a voice whispered excitedly.

He was immediately ambushed as he walked out the door by none other than Remus Lupin.

"Come on, let's go for a walk," he said in a voice very low.

"What's going on?" Ron whispered as Lupin practically pushed him forward.

"We're going to the Leaky Cauldron."

"What? Why for?"

"Shh! No more questions, let's just go."

They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, where Lupin directed him upstairs into one of the rooms. The room was dark except for a single lamp lit on the table in the room. Ron gave him a questioning look, then rolled his eyes and walked in. Lupin followed locking the door before casting a silencing charm on the room.

"Would you mind telling me what's going on?" Ron asked impatiently.

"Sit down first." Lupin looked like Christmas had come early.

Ron didn't budge. "Lupin," he warned.

"Okay, okay. Well remember years ago when...No, no. Okay, something happened... Oh, where do I begin?"

"Perhaps, I should explain," a voice came from the shadows.

"Who is that?" Ron asked squinting into the direction of the voice. "Come out where I can see you."

He heard movement coming from the corner. Ron squinted his eyes to make out a shape in the darkness. A man stepped into the light, wearing a cloak, its hood covering his face.

"Who are you?" he asked.

The man lifted back his hood to reveal his messy raven hair, brilliant green eyes, and a lightning shaped scar on his forehead.

Harry Potter was back.

His friend Ron stared at him in disbelief, his jaw hanging open.

"Ron, why don't you sit down?" Harry advised him with concern in his voice.

His pale-faced friend sort of nodded, and as his legs gave out he fainted to a heap on the floor.

"Well, it could've gone worse." Lupin stated bemusedly.

"Come on. Let's get him onto the bed." Harry said.

He and Lupin picked Ron up and plopped him onto the bed. Harry pulled out his wand.

"Enerverate."

Ron quickly sat up, gasping, then looked at Harry.

"It is you," he whispered hoarsely.

He reached out and poked Harry's arm, making sure this was real.

"Yes, Ron. It is me. I'm back." Harry replied.

Ron just stared at him. Then suddenly, his fist flew out of nowhere making contact with Harry's jaw. Harry stumbled backwards and Ron scrambled off the bed to face him.

"Seven years! Seven years, Harry, without a word! You ran away and disappeared without one single word! Nothing! Not a hint to let us know you were alive! What happened? Where did you go?"

"Just let me explain," Harry rubbed his jaw and sat down at the table.

"Sorry about that," Ron said apologetically.

"No, I guess I deserved that," Harry chuckled.

Ron gave him a weak smile then sat down on the chair opposite him at the table.

"Remember the night I left? Well, as you found out the next day, Malfoy was right. There was a trap set for me that night, I found out because Dumbledore told me that night. I went up to the astronomy tower to think, and I realized that it was always going to be like this. Voldemort will always be after me and it was my destiny to face him. "

Ron gave him a quizzical look, but Harry continued.

"There's something I never told you, something about what happened in fifth year, about the prophecy."

"The one that broke? We never found out what it said." He looked at Harry "Right?"

Harry swallowed nervously, "I lied to you, Ron. I did hear what the prophecy said."

He began to tell him what happened at the Department of Mysteries, how Dumbledore told him to go to his office, and how he'd seen Trelawney in Dumbledore's pensieve. He told Ron what the prophecy said and why Dumbledore never told him about it sooner. When he was finished, he looked at his friend Ron who had his mouth open and an ashen expression on his face.

"But Trelawney is a right old bag, she's a fraud. You and I both know it."

"She can hit the mark every once in awhile. She told me that Pettigrew would escape and that Voldemort would return during our Divination final in third year."

"But she could've been talking about anyone, I'm sure lots of people were born at the end of the seventh month."

"But he would only mark one as his equal." Harry lifted his bangs to reveal his scar.

Ron fell silent.

"And neither can survive while the other lives." Ron spoke softly.

Harry nodded.

Ron let out a breath, "Blimey, Harry. So that's why you left?"

"Yes, and no. I knew that Voldemort would come after me again, he would use the people I care about. He would manipulate them." His voice got quieter as he said this last sentence, a far off look fell across his face. But he continued, his voice back to normal. "I wanted to keep the ones I cared about safe. After losing Sirius, I couldn't lose anyone else, and I figured the farther away I went, the safer everyone would be. In order to defeat your enemy, you have to know them. So, through the help of an old friend, I enrolled in Durmstrang to finish my education, this time in the dark arts. I had to know what I was up against. Voldemort would never look for me there; it was too close to danger. I changed my identity, enrolled as a cousin of Viktor Krum, (Ron and Lupin exchanged a glance) and he let me stay with him until I graduated a year and a half later. After that, I traveled, studying with great wizards and witches from all parts of the world. I learned all that they could teach me, generating as much knowledge as I possibly could. As soon as I learned all I could from one teacher, I would seek out another. This went on for five years. Even though part of that reason was for knowledge, a bigger part was because I was running away, in a way. I was delaying my destiny, I was ashamed by the way I had left everyone behind. Believe me, I wanted to write and tell you so many things, but I was afraid that you wouldn't speak to me again. I'm sorry.

"Dumbledore found me in South America. He told me that it was time to stop running, time to utilize all I have learned, time for me to come home. He knew what I was doing, you really can't get past that old man. So, here I am. I've been here for about two days, staying here at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Who else knows your back?" Ron asked.

"Just Dumbledore and Lupin. But I had to see you, I had to apologize, I had to make things right. I'm sorry I've been gone so long and I'm sorry I never wrote you. I truly am a coward sometimes."

"No, you're just a prat." He hesitated, "Are you staying for real, then?"

"Yeah, yeah I am. For good."

Ron smiled, he was just happy to have his friend back. They both stood up and hugged each other, a manly hug of course before quickly backing away from each other.

"Well, you've grown." Ron said.

"So have you." Harry replied.

And it was true, Ron was over six feet tall, but he had a toned body from years of auror training. But he still had his trademark mop of Weasley red hair. Harry, too, had changed. He was no longer the scrawny boy who had left seven years ago, he had the body of an athlete, his face filling out and sharpening with maturity. But he still had his unruly raven hair and his brilliant green eyes.

"Wait till everyone hears you're back!" Ron said excitedly.

"No! No one can know I'm back. Not just yet." Harry said.

"Why not?"

"Dumbledore thinks it would be best if we kept Harry's return a secret. He doesn't want to let Voldemort know right away." Lupin answered.

"That's right." Harry agreed. "But I'll still be around, I'm just going to use my old identity."

He tapped himself on the top of this head. Suddenly his black raven hair grew just to his shoulders and turned dirty blond, and his eyes turned from green to brown.

"Meet Michael Jameson, transfer to the auror division in the London Ministry." Harry introduced himself.

"Bloody hell! Well, where are you going to stay? Not here I hope." Ron asked.

"Well, I can't go to 12 Grimmauld Place because, as I understand it, the Order is still using it for headquarters. Dumbledore doesn't even want to let them know just yet. So at the moment, yes the Leaky Cauldron has been my home."

"Well, I can't have you doing that mate. Why don't you stay with me? I've got an extra room in my flat and it's in London. Can you believe it? My own place!" Ron said excitedly.

"I think that would be absolutely wonderful." Harry grinned. "When would you like me to move in?"

"Got your stuff with you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, what do you think of the place?" Ron asked after him, Lupin and Harry arrived at his flat.

It was a rather nice flat containing a large kitchen and living room, polished hardwood floors, and an entire wall of windows overlooking the city. A door led to a large balcony outside.

"Chicks dig that," Ron gestured to the balcony.

"Wow Ron!" was all Harry had managed to say, his jaw dropping. Rent on this place must cost a fortune.

"Fred and George actually paid for most of it. Sort of a graduation-congrats on being an auror sort present." Ron explained as if he could read Harry's thoughts. "Come on then, let's go to your room."

Ron led him down the hallway to a door on the left, Ron's room was on the right across the hall, and opened the door for Harry. It was a big room; complete with a king size bed, two nightstands, a dresser and a bookcase, all in a dark cherry wood. It was painted dark blue with dark blue velvet panels framing two large floor to ceiling windows on the opposite wall. Harry liked it instantly.

"A little dark if you ask me. It came like this when we bought the place. I just never got around to changing it." Ron remarked.

"No, no it's perfect." Harry said as he walked into the room placing his trunk on the floor by the bed.

"Well, I'm glad you like it. Look in the closet, I have a surprise for you" said Ron.

Harry walked over and opened the door. There on the floor was his old Hogwarts trunk that he had left behind. He levitated it out to the middle of the room then opened it.

"I asked Dumbledore if I could keep it, I was always hoping that one day you might come back" Ron said sheepishly. "I left everything as it was."

"Thank you," Harry said softly as he rummaged through its contents.

Everything was as he had left it. His old textbooks, parchment and quills were all there. Old clothing from both Dudley and Mrs. Weasley. Old candy from his last visit to Hogsmeade, he probably should throw that out, except for the chocolate frog card. And there, near the bottom of his trunk was his old photo album. Harry sat back on his haunches as he opened the book to be greeted with the photos of his parents. It had been so long since he had seen any pictures of them, he was almost afraid they wouldn't look the same as his mind remembered them to be. He flipped a few more pages to the one of his parents wedding, with Sirius as his father's best man. A sad smile formed on Harry's lips. He flipped a few more and came across a picture of Ron, Hermione and him sitting lazily by the lake. Colin had taken this photo sometime in the beginning of sixth year. They were sitting under the shade of a tree, Ron laying on his back snoozing. Harry had his back resting on the trunk of the tree as he gazed out at the lake. Hermione lay in between them, her head resting softly on Harry's lap. Harry watched himself as he was absentmindedly playing with Hermione's hair, twirling it in his fingers. Hermione. Harry quickly slammed the book shut and threw it back into the trunk which he promptly shut and locked.

"Well, how about we visit work?" Harry suggested a little too quickly.

Ron hadn't picked up on Harry's sudden change in demeanor, but Lupin looked at him with a quizzical look on his face.

"Yeah alright. I still have some work to finish" said Ron leading the way to his fireplace.

Harry made to follow but Lupin flung out his arm to stop him. "Just a moment Ron, we'll be right there."

He turned to look at Harry, who was avoiding his penetrating gaze. "Are you alright Harry?"

"Of course I am. This is all just a little overwhelming." Harry lied.

"Are you sure there isn't anyone else you would like to visit?"

Harry met Lupin's eyes. "No," he said before moving past him to meet Ron. Lupin sighed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Muggleborn Protection Act?" Harry asked as he leafed through the stack of paper on Ron's desk. "You're right. Fudge is a sneaky little bastard."

Ron had filled Harry in on the events of the past seven years as he took him on his tour around the auror division at the ministry. Harry was glad to see that Kingsley Shacklebolt was in the head of this division, and Tonks was still here. Shacklebolt had said he was expecting Jameson today having been notified of his transfer a week ago, he was going to hold a meeting with the other aurors at the end of the day to make the introduction.

There was a knock at the door as Terry Boot's head peered in.

"Shacklebolt is calling a meeting in the conference room in ten minutes."

"We'll be right there." Ron replied.

Harry had noticed the Daily Prophet in Ron's waste bin and moved to pick it up. It was today's edition. Harry read the headline and watched the picture with amusement in his face. But as he scanned the picture, a cloaked figure caught his eye. Harry's breath hitched.

"Yes, it's her," Ron said softly. He had been watching Harry.

"Do you still talk to her?" Harry found he couldn't take his eyes off the photo.

"No. I blamed her for you leaving us. I thought you left because she broke your heart. You loved her didn't you?"

"So did you."

"She betrayed us both."

"Did she?" Harry said softly.

"Her parents were killed a couple of days after you left. Neville had found a note under your bed, it was dated on the day you left."

Harry remembered throwing a note off his trunk and onto his bed when he had gone up to retrieve his Firebolt before he had left.

Ron continued, "It was a note from Voldemort. He said that he had a backup plan in case you didn't fall for the trap laid out for you. He held Hermione's parents hostage, and if you did not confront him by midnight the next day, he would kill them. I tried to take the note from Neville, but he took it directly to Hermione. After that it was clear we would not be friends anymore."

"What about her and Malfoy?" Harry asked bitterly throwing the paper back into the bin.

"Neville told me that Malfoy had drugged her."

"Hmm." Harry's face gave no expression, but Ron could pick up a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"I figured she must have told you. She did, didn't she? What did you two talk about that night?"

"That is between me and her."

"Well, anyway, by the time Neville had told me this, the damage had already been done to our friendship. It didn't matter to me, it wasn't going to bring you back. I have run into her now and then, although the encounters weren't pleasant."

Harry gave him a questioning look.

"She's a known member of the Underground." Ron explained. Harry remembered Ron telling him about this rebellious group.

Harry gave a small smile, "Figures she'd do something political."

"Yeah it is kind of funny. Well, come on let's go to the meeting."

Ron opened the door to an exasperated Terry Boot down the hall knocking on an office door.

"I said just a moment!" roared a voice on the other side. Harry recognized it but couldn't quite place it.

"The meeting is starting NOW!" Boot yelled back.

But the door had swung open, and a pretty blond witch walked out, patting down her hair and straightening out her robes. She flushed at the three of them in the hallway as she hastily made her exit.

"Isn't that one of our new receptionists?" Boot asked the man in the office.

"Well, I had to give her a formal tour of our department." A tall blond man with silver eyes stepped out of the office, smiling smugly.

It was Draco Malfoy.

Ron felt Harry suddenly tense up beside him. He pressed on Harry's foot with his own.

"Well, let's get this meeting over with. I'd like to pick up where I left off. Weasley." Malfoy brushed passed Ron, bumping him roughly with his shoulder as he headed to the conference room.

The conference room was large with a square table in the middle for everyone to sit at. Harry was pleased to see that many of the D.A. members from Hogwarts had chosen to be aurors, among them Terry Boot and (Harry's stomach gave a small flip) Cho Chang. Harry and Ron sat down next to Terry and Malfoy. A few aurors threw questioning glances at Harry, curious about their visitor.

"You know, it's never a good idea to date your co-workers," Harry heard Terry whisper to Malfoy.

"We weren't dating." Malfoy insinuated.

Terry was about to reply, but Shacklebolt brought the meeting to order.

"First off, Matheson and Wells are back from suspension following yesterday's incident with the statue." A few chuckles were heard. "I had told the minister that we are working full time on catching the culprits and that we needed every available resource we can. Second, I would like to welcome Mr. Michael Jameson to our division, he has been transferred from overseas and will be assisting us in our efforts. And lastly, I will need everyone here early tomorrow to set up special security in the court chambers tomorrow."

"What for? What happened?" a question was asked.

"There is a high profile trial tomorrow, in front of the committee. Extra security precautions need to take place."

"High profile trial? Tomorrow?" Tonks asked.

"Yes, the minister has ordered it right away. It seems as though, the culprit for yesterday's stunt with the statue has been caught. The minister would like to see this dealt with."

"Caught? Well, who is it that we need all this security for?" Ron asked.

Shacklebolt paused, everyone look at him with baited breath.

"Viktor Krum."