Familiar with the Eyes, but Not with the Owner

Title: Familiar with the eyes, but not with the Owner.

Author: triple trouble

Eventually I cry myself to sleep, worn out by the pain of the memories and the guilty weight of my heart. The baby remains asleep on my lap, a comforting weight despite being a stark reminder of my loss.

"Petunia?"

Jerking awake at the sound of my name, it takes me some time to reacquaint myself with my surroundings and with the baby on my lap.

"Petunia?"

With a brief glance at the baby that now peers up at me, I turn to face my husband who stands in the doorway.

"Hmmm?"

"Have you seen my tie?" he asks distractedly as he peers into the hall mirror.

I am unable to answer, because like him, I too am now distracted - by the squirming baby that moves uncomfortably on my lap.

"Petunia!" Vernon tries again, though it is easy to hear the exasperation in his tone.

When I once again fail to answer, he turns from the hall mirror, finally giving me his full attention. It is only then that he catches sight of the bundle I clasp.

I watch in silence as his features go slack with shock before struggling on to confusion. He opens his mouth before shutting it again, apparently shocked into speechlessness.

Weaving his way across our living room, he comes to an abrupt stop beside my armchair and stares wordlessly down at the baby in my arms.

"My God!" gasps Vernon. "He is the spitting image of him."

It appears that Vernon, like me, has no problem identifying the father of this baby. For the bundle in my lap is a miniature replica of James Potter, from the messy raven hair to the straight nose and dimples. Even Vernon, whose interactions with my sister's husband have always been terse and brief, as well as few and far between, could spot the similarities in a second.

As I sit in complete silence, I can see the cogs turning in my husband's mind. For the baby in my lap is James's son, of that there is no doubt, and if he is James's then he had to be Lily's. Furthermore, for that son to be here, in our house, meant that Lily and James had to be...dead.

Stubbornly refusing to look at the boy again, Vernon raises his steely eyes to meet mine.

"Well, it is certainly no great loss," he announces, obstinately ignoring the pain in my eyes.

When I fail to respond once again, he continues now looking pointedly at a wine stain on the carpet instead of meeting my eyes once more.

"The boy can't stay, Petunia."

"But -"

"But nothing," he continues, deftly cutting off my interruption. "Think of Dudley, he can't be brought up alongside this...this abomination."

With one last glance at the child, he walks out, leaving me in a shocked silence. After a few moment of clatter, I hear the front door slam shut as he leaves for work.

It seems that he, too, forgot about the tie.

I sit nestled in my armchair for a while longer, aware that Dudley has yet to be woken and fed.

Eventually I work up the energy to place Harry carefully into the playpen that dominates our living room, unwrapping him from the white shawl into which he is swaddled.

Getting up, I shake out the shawl, and it is then that the letter falls from its folds, landing face up on the carpet below.

Mrs Petunia Dursley

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

I recognise that writing, that unique green slant that I had seen only once before, nearly ten years earlier.

Closing my eyes, I can see that envelope, complete with the seal that I hate with such vengeance.

Miss Lily Evans

The Purple Bedroom

12 Acorn Close

Worchester Park

Surrey

I can even see my sister's ten-year-old face, delight with just a hint of confusion and doubt. Those green eyes sparkling, the full lips stretched into a smile. Her eyes catch mine and it is only then that those green orbs dim slightly, and the smile slips.

Shaking myself, I pull myself away from the past, pick up the letter and slit open the envelope.

As I unfold the heavy parchment, I glance once more at my sister's smiling baby boy before beginning to read the letter.

Dear Mrs Petunia Dursley,

As I'm sure you are already aware, this is Harry James Potter, the son of your sister, Mrs Lily Potter, nee Evans, and Mr James Ciaran Potter. Unfortunately the lives of both Mr and Mrs Potter came to an end yesterday when Lord Voldemort murdered them. Both fought and died bravely. Before they died, James and Lily informed me that you had agreed to take Harry, should anything happen to them.

I am sure you are wondering how it is that this little boy survived when a grown couple could not. To this I can provide no answer. What I do know is that Lord Voldemort did try to kill Harry, but the spell rebounded, hitting Voldemort instead.

No one is entirely sure what has happened to Voldemort, but I doubt that he has been destroyed for good, so the danger to Harry continues. Lily died to protect Harry, and because of that she left a lingering protection in his blood. As a blood relative to Harry on his mother's side you can further this protection by keeping Harry in your house. I hope you will agree to do this, thus keeping your promise to your sister and fulfilling her last wishes.

Once Harry reaches the age of eleven he, like his parents before him, will attend Hogwarts to receive his magical education. After this he will only be expected to return to your residence during the summer.

Your sister and brother-in-law's funeral will be on the 3rd of November in Godric's Hollow, Wales. I wholeheartedly hope that you will attend.

Yours sincerely

Albus Dumbledore.

Shocked, I fall back into the chair, all thoughts of Dudley disappearing from my mind.

So this little boy, too, will enter into that world - the world of freaks and misfits that stole my sister from me. Looking down at the child, I feel some of my sorrow being replaced by anger. What right did this man, this Albus Dumbledore, have to decide what was to happen? To decide that this little boy, who I was now expected to bring up, was to follow in his parents footsteps, footsteps that in the end got them killed?

Sitting there, gazing at the gurgling, happy child before me, I once more allow memories to overtake me.

Flashback 1

"Yes mother, she's fine," repeated an exasperated Mrs Evans down the phone while rolling her eyes at me.

"No, we haven't heard from her yet..."

"Okay....Yes....Goodbye, then."

Placing the receiver firmly into its cradle, Fiona Evans turned to face my father, who was seated at the table.

"Strange, though, that we haven't heard from Lily yet. I do hope that everything's all right," she muttered thoughtfully.

"She'll be fine," I interrupted acidly. " She's probably having too much fun with freaks like herself to worry about normal people like us."

"Petunia!" cried my mother warningly. "Watch what you say about your sister."

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, an owl landed on the table in front of me, dropping its letter straight into my breakfast of omelettes.

"Mum!" I screamed. "Get it off my food, it's totally unhygienic!"

"Calm down, Petti dear, it's probably just a letter from Lily," my mum responded, not bothering to suppress the enthusiasm in her voice.

Having delivered its letter and looking supremely pleased with itself, the owl departed through the open window. My parents, however, were far too busy perusing Lily's letter to watch its progress.

"Stupid owl," I muttered, looking mournfully at my uneatable breakfast. "I bet Lily told it to do that."

"Don't be silly, Petti," returned my mother without looking up from the letter. "Lily wouldn't do something like that."

A few minutes of silence followed as my parents finished the letter and read it through once more, no doubt yearning for news about their wonderful Lily...Lily the freak, more like.

Eventually, however, they put down the letter and returned their attention to me, wide smiles dominating their faces.

"Here, Petunia," said my father, passing me the letter. "It's addressed to all of us."

Despite my hatred for Lily and her freakish ways, I couldn't suppress my curiosity about Lily's new life, and so without any argument I began to read the letter.

Dear Mum, Dad and Petti,

Hope you're all well. I'm having a great time here at Hogwarts. There are four houses here that act as families within the school. You take classes with the rest of your year, but at night you return to your house's common room and sleep in dormitories with girls in the same house. Each house represents certain qualities, and I've been sorted into Gryffindor, which is said to be the house of the brave. The Sorting Hat (which decides which house you go into) said that I could have gone into Ravenclaw (the house for those who are smart and clever) but that I would be better suited to Gryffindor.

There are four other girls in my year in Gryffindor, Alice, Katie, Juliette and Laura (who are identical twins - which leads to more than a little confusion!). There are four boys in Gryffindor as well, but I don't really know them yet.

So far we have had a Charms lesson in which we learnt how to levitate objects. Professor Flitwick (who teaches Charms) said I have a real talent for it, especially as I completed the task first and supposedly with the most skill! I've had other lessons as well, like Herbology (the study of magical plants and their properties), and I've had flying lessons and Defence Against the Dark Arts, which is fascinating! My worst subject is Transfiguration. I managed to complete the task but it took forever!

Anyway I better get back to my Defence Against the Dark Arts homework. I'll send Mozart along when he comes back from hunting for your letter!

Take care! Tell Grandma I said hello!

Love,

Lily

xxx

As I finished the letter emotion filled me. How dare Lily send a letter like this, highlighting what a freak and outcast she was. Couldn't she at least pretend she was vaguely normal for our parents' sake, for my sake? Oh, I knew that my parents thought that I was jealous, but I wasn't - I mean, why should I be? All I felt was sympathy for Lily; I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to be such a freak.

Looking up, I met the eyes of my smiling parents, though I knew I could see the pain they were hiding behind their smiles. There was no way that knowing Lily was like that could make them happy.

End flashback 1

The letters from Lily continued like that, arriving regularly every second Tuesday of the month. All the letters were happy, speaking of Lily's new friends and the new things she'd learnt; never once did she mention the normal life she could have led if she hadn't chosen to join that freak world.

She came back that summer, and my parents were delighted to see her; it was always Lily this and Lily that. I could tell they were sorry for sending her into the life that now condemned her, but they struggled on with their fixed smiles and unhappy eyes. I, on the other hand, told her exactly how we all felt: she was a freak, and that was all there was to it. No longer was she my sister.

The next year the letters came less frequently, once every two months, and those were only short and were full of news that neither of my parents could make heads nor tails of. Despite this, they put on brave faces and exclaimed over how well Lily seemed to be doing.

It was the summer before third year when we finally met Lily's best friend, Katherine. Apparently, she was a Ravenclaw - smart, she said they were supposed to be, but this one was just odd, more freakish that even Lily was.

Flashback 2

"What are you two up to?" I asked them, wrinkling my nose in distaste that such people should sit in my living room.

"Just chatting," responded Katherine, smiling. "Care to join us?"

"No thank you," I responded acidly. "Why would I want to associate with you?"

Her smile dimmed then, and she shot an anxious glance at Lily, who glared angrily at me for a moment before suddenly smiling widely.

"But Petti dear," she replied, "we would just love for you to join us. We were just discussing how best to turn this cup here into a mouse."

I gave a little squeal and stepped backward hurriedly.

"You wouldn't dare," I responded icily. "Mother would kill you."

"Oh wouldn't I?" she responded, smiling even more sweetly at me. "Well, what charm did you suggest I use, Kat?"

"Well, I..." she began, widening her eyes at Lily as both a warning and a show of surprise. "I...umm..."

"Well, I was thinking of the Transformo Charm myself," interrupted Lily deftly.

Getting out her wand, she pointed it at the cup, all the while staring at me, as if daring me to stop her.

After a few moments of threatening silence, Lily waved her wand in a complicated flick and opened her mouth, and it was then, and only then, that with a terrified yell I hurried from the room amidst gales of laughter from my sister and her best friend.

End flashback 2

That Christmas and Easter, Lily chose to remain at Hogwarts rather than return home, and it was only then that my parents truly showed their regret. They felt that were losing Lily to this new world, this other life that Lily had chosen to live, but I knew that it was the best for them. The loss of my sister, the freak, was no real loss at all.

The summer before her fourth year, Lily spent only half the holidays with us, choosing to spend the other half with Katherine. But in those three weeks with us, I saw little of her, for that summer I began my first courtship at the age of seventeen with a young man from school by the name of Tom Wilkins. I was in love, or at least I thought I was, and I spent every waking moment with him and his friends. Lily, on the other hand, spent time with our mother, telling her about her life and school, which I knew my mother felt she was barred from.

It was on one such occasion that I returned home and heard the voices coming from my sister's room.

Flashback 3

"...they play pranks on everyone, Mum, James Potter and his stupid cronies. They jinxed me so that lilies followed me around school all day. It was horrible!"

"Oh, I'm sure it wasn't that bad," chastised my mother, although I could hear the smile in her voice. "Tell me more about them, the four boys in your year."

"James Potter is their leader," Lily began, annoyance tingeing her voice. "He's by far the worst. Thinks he's God's gift to the earth just because he's half good at Quidditch. You remember about Quidditch, right, Mum?" She paused here, waiting for my mother to agree, before continuing, "He's very good at Transfiguration, not that he does any work for it - he spends most of his time in detention, though McGonagall never punishes him as harshly as she should. She favours him, she does."

"Sirius is best friends with Potter. Both of them come from pureblood wizarding families; that's probably why they think they're all that." Here Lily sighed loudly before continuing, "Sirius is smart, too, but not quite as bright as Potter. He's much more of a ladies' man - there's a different girl on his arm every week."

"Then there's Remus. I'm not really sure what to make of him. He's quieter than the other two, but he shares their intelligence, though he does far more work than them. He's not a Quidditch player either. I often get the feeling he's the real brains behind their mischief."

"Finally there's Peter Pettigrew," began Lily, but whatever Lily had to say on him I never found out, as I heard my father coming up the stairs, and I hurried along the corridor to my own room. After all, I wasn't really interested in what Lily had to say about that stupid school or the freaks that went there.

End flashback

I smile slightly at that memory; it's hard to imagine a time when Lily could hardly stand James's presence, let alone his prolonged company, but in the end they had had something special. Two freaks together, I had always called them, and now, ironically, it was me to whom the task fell to raise their son.