Lullaby for a Dragon

Unfortunately for Charlie, Bill was the most perceptive person in England. It was also unfortunate that Bill had absolutely no common sense, and seemed to want to talk to Charlie about his psychological illnesses in the middle of the night while he was cradling two infants in each of his arms and his mother was reading a book on pregnancy cravings with his wife. "We need to talk," Bill said determinedly, cornering Charlie the twins' old room. "Now," he added, as Charlie waved him off, rolling over in an attempt to go to sleep and avoid the inevitable speech about fancying your younger brother's best mate.

Bill prodded Charlie in the back firmly.

"What is it?" Charlie asked, sitting upright and scratching his head as Bill turned on a light.

"You, Charlie Weasley, are an idiot," Bill said.

Charlie blinked. "What?"

"You fancy Hermione," Bill said accusatively.

"You're mad," Charlie said, refusing to look Bill in the face. "You're off the bleeding wall."

Rolling his eyes, Bill said, "Funny, I could say the same thing about you."

"Where the hell do you get these notions?"

Bill clucked his tongue impatiently. "You have got to be joking if you think I didn't notice you ogling Hermione like she was a bit of meat..."

"She is a bit of meat," Charlie said reasonably, "about 125 pounds of it."

"She's seven years younger than you, you know."

"You are mad," Charlie muttered. He began looking for forms of escape. If he decided to jump out of the window, he would fall to a most painful and bloody death, but that was worth the chance. Then again, if he just ran he doubted his older brother, who tripped over his own feet, could catch up to him while carrying two squirming children. On the other hand, Bill was dead fast with a wand- damn curse-breaker...

"Charlie," Bill said sharply. "Tell me the truth."

He looked up at his brother, and he immediately regretted it as usual. Bill was looking so damn brotherly (a guise he has perfected) that the words were out of Charlie's mouth before he could stop them... "So what if I like her?" Charlie asked impatiently. "It's not like I'm going to try anything you know; and please, no need for the sex talk like the time I dated that Russian girl- bloody embarrassing, that was..." and at the look on Bill's face, Charlie added exasperatedly, "for Christ's sake, get your mind out of the gutter- I'm not planning on doing anything with Hermione, idiot."

Bill looked at him reprovingly. "Just... don't hurt her. Ron will kill you."

"I know," Charlie said.

"Mum will kill you, too, come to think of it," Bill said. "Wants her to be a member of the family more than anything..."

"Yes, I know..."

Bill scratched his chin. "And you'd have to look out for Ginny and the twins..."

"Will probably curse me into something unrecognizable," Charlie agreed sleepily.

"And of course, I'll have to kill you myself..." Bill added thoughtfully.

"Shut up before I stun you into oblivion..."

"Shutting," Bill said.

*

Hermione was in a row with Ron again. Ron was on about Viktor Krum again and she was puzzled as to why he held such a grudge against the International quidditch player. Ron had been incapable of stringing a single sentence together, merely spluttering obscenities as Hermione shot him foul looks, hating him. "Absolutely- rubbish-" It was taking some time for Ron to simply get out a full blown sentence, and Hermione had occupied herself with studying her nails instead of listening to the sixteen-year-old try to speak English. "I love you," Ron finally cried in frustration, scarlet in the face.

And, of course, like an idiot, Hermione had gotten mad at him.

Swearing at the mirror in the bedroom she shared with Ginny at the Order Headquarters ("Really!" the mirror had replied, scandalized at her unexpected use of colorful language), Hermione stomped out of the room, not keen on spending the rest of her life in hiding. She was intent on hunting Ron down like an animal and shouting at him some more so they could finally make amends- and perhaps he'd finally ask her out on a proper date.

"Stupid Ron..."

"Hullo Hermione," someone said from the kitchen as she was passing in a rage.

Popping her head into the room impatiently, Hermione immediately recognized Charlie's densely speckle, good-natured face smiling at her slightly from where he was seated at the long wooden table. He was holding a steaming mug in his left hand which was halfway towards his mouth, and his right hand was supporting his head, which looked like it would rather do nothing but fall face-first into the table for a pleasantly long slumber.

"Charlie- what are you doing here?"

Charlie said, "My boss is finally letting me on a bit of a reprieve..."

"That's nice," Hermione said absently. "Have you seen Ron?"

"Sulking in his room," Charlie snorted. "I heard about your quarrel with him. Ron was probably being a great big prat again, but don't worry; he'll get over himself soon." He nodded knowingly, and Hermione stifled a snort at his attempt to looking superior- which actually looked more like he had something up his nose. None-the-less, it was rather cute.

Hermione nodded. "I know- I'm usually fighting with him."

"Figures," Charlie said. "Anyway, I wouldn't disturb him in the middle of his suicidal state right now."

"If he doesn't kill himself, I'll do it for him."

"There are others who would gladly do it for you," Charlie said, grinning broadly. "Come, have some coffee with me; I'm bored out of my mind here. Bill's gone off shopping for a wedding dress with Fleur and the twins are up to something again with Mundungus..." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Hermione couldn't help but laugh and say 'yes'.

Hermione made her way into the kitchen and Charlie quickly produced a second cup of coffee with a swish of his wand.

"So, what year are you going into?"

"Sixth," Hermione said.

Charlie studied her over his coffee. "Ron keeps bragging about what a brilliant witch you are- first in your year, right?"

Hermione blushed. "Well..."

"You must have got your O.W.L.s already," Charlie said. "What's the verdict?"

"Er- thirteen..."

Charlie positively choked on his spit. "Is that even possible?"

"Well, I'm taking quite a bit of courses-"

"Stop daydreaming, Hermione," Ginny said.

Hermione looked up from her reverie, and she quickly finished changing into her flower-printed nightdress. She was a little too old for sleepovers, but it was quite a bit of fun, and Mrs. Weasley had insisted that she spend the night. "Sorry Ginny," Hermione sighed dramatically. "I didn't know it was prohibited to use your brain when inside of your bedroom..." Ginny immediately retaliated by pinching her counterpart on the arm.

"Luna is staying as well," Ginny warned. "She's at her house getting her things. Be on your best behavior."

Hermione jumped onto Ginny's bed. "Will she act normal?"

"She's more normal than she was two years ago." Ginny shrugged.

"Oh, that's reassuring."

Ginny poked her tongue out, and dressed into her nightdress as well. "I think she's sweet."

"She is," Hermione agreed, "but I can't seem to stop getting into arguments about all those unconventional creatures she rambles on about..."

"Just ignore her when she gets on about them."

Hermione snorted. "That'd be rather difficult. You know how I have the uncontrollable tendency to correct her on everything..."

"She's turned out to be right on a few of those things," Ginny said.

"Don't remind me."

There was a knock at the door, and they both quickly shot each other an anxious look. If it was Luna, she probably wouldn't mention it if she had heard, but the two couldn't help but feel a guilty twitch in the pit of their stomachs as Hermione rolled off the bed to open the door. But it was thankfully- or unfortunately; Hermione couldn't make up her mind at the moment- not Luna (or Harry, who would probably murder them both if he heard them talking like that about 'the girl he loved').

Instead, it was only Charlie smirking. "Now, what if I was poor Luna and just heard you saying all that about me?"

"Charlie," Ginny shrieked from behind Hermione, "Get the bloody hell out of here!"

"No need to be rude, Ginny," Charlie said.

"You're going to scare all my friends away," Ginny moaned, pushing her brother out of her room.

"Really, now," Charlie said. "I always thought I was rather good-looking-"

"Out, before I put the Bat-Bogey Hex on you!"

Charlie, looking sincerely terrified, ran out of the room quickly, only pausing to say, grinning broadly, "Lovely nightie, Hermione. Absolutely smashing," he said before running off, leaving a furious Ginny and a slightly pink Hermione in his stead. Hermione looked down at her sheer nightdress, and groaned, "Ginny, your brother saw me half-naked..."

"Well," Ginny said apologetically, "that's to be expected if you stay at a house with six boys..."

"Bugger," Hermione said.

"Hello Hermione," a dreamy voice came from the doorway. "Hello Ginny- was that your second oldest brother running down the hall like he was being chased by a herd of rampaging Kokopellies who had just been offered a cup of tea during the New moon?" Hermione and Ginny shared a look, completely befuddled. "He looked rather frightened."

"Er, yes, Luna, that was Charlie," Hermione said restrainedly.

"Hi Luna," Ginny said enthusiastically, pulling the girl into the room and locking the door behind her with the flick of her wand. She turned and gave them a wicked grin.

Hermione already could tell this was going to be a bad idea.

*

"I feel like a scarlet woman," Hermione said grumpily the next morning. Her hair had been tugged, pulled and twisted the night before into wild curls that were flattened on one side after a night's sleep. Ginny had insisted on painting her nails with a lurid red, but Hermione threatened the girl to stop with a well-placed curse before she had the chance to attack her with make-up. Sadly, as soon as Hermione had fallen asleep Ginny had applied pounds of paint and powder on her face. Hermione thought that, in short, she looked like a circus freak.

Luna wasn't much better off. The poor girl was poking at her eggs moodily as Harry laughed hysterically at her ridiculous hair-do and haphazardly applied make-up (Luna hadn't gone down without a struggle- unfortunately, unlike Hermione and Ginny, who had her seventeenth birthday a couple weeks before, she was still forbidden to do magic during the holidays). "Don't be so cross, Hermione," Ginny said, grinning. "I think you look enchanting."

"Yes, Ginny, as enchanting as a transvestite circus clown," Hermione snapped.

"You're hair's tame," Ginny said hopefully.

"Not only is it frizzy," Hermione said slowly, as if speaking to a toddler, "it's in ringlets."

Mrs. Weasley looked over the frying pan and smiled at Hermione. "You look lovely no matter what, Hermione."

It was a very motherly thing to say, but it didn't stop the dirty looks Hermione was shooting Ginny. She fingered her wand lovingly, and scratched her nose, wondering which hex would suffice in getting her utter revenge. 'I hate you,' Hermione mouthed, but her friend merely smiled good-naturedly. Luna was furiously trying to rub the pounds of make-up that had been forced onto her face.

"Great Merlin, what happened to you two?"

Hermione looked up to the confused face of Charlie. "Good to see you, too," Hermione snarled.

"Touché," Charlie said.

"I hate your sister," Luna said to him miserably, her dreamy facade momentarily missing.

Snorting, Harry said, "Ginny went ape on them."

"Lovely," he laughed. "I remember when she did that to Ron..."

He soon had Harry and Hermione's rapt attention, waiting for a full description of Ron's powdered and painted face. This moment was, unfortunately, interrupted as twenty owls began fighting for space to force their respective letters through the tiny window. Charlie jumped up. "What the bloody hell-"

Hermione already knew what it was; job offers from every possible employer in the country.

True enough, after each of the owls had made their way in and dropped of their respective thick letters, Hermione had a tall pile of job offers, and the Prophet, which featured a picture of her under the headline, 'Granger scorns the Ministry'. "Honestly," Hermione said, taking a sip of coffee and ignoring the incredulous looks from Charlie and Mrs. Weasley.

"What are these?" Charlie asked.

"Job offers," Hermione said simply, ripping open the first one. "Bloody hell, St. Mungo's is begging me again..." she tossed that one to the side.

Harry had taken to reading the Prophet article about Hermione refusing jobs at the Ministry. "Really, Hermione, you're a celebrity," Harry said, mystified. "Were you really offered a job by the Minister for Magic?" Hermione nodded as she ripped open the next one. "I can't believe you've refused a six-figure job at the Ministry- what sort of career are you looking for?"

"Oh, well..." Hermione said, tossing a letter from the Prophet to the side. "After all the stuff we did at school... everything seems a little too dull for me."

Luna looked at Hermione seriously. "Well, that makes sense."

Sadly though, Ginny was positively choking on her coffee as Hermione said this.

"You're joking, right?" Ginny asked.

Hermione shook her head as she tossed a letter from Muggle Relations to the side.

"You can always apply for a position as an Auror," Harry said hopefully. "Lots of excitement there..."

"It's still a Ministry job," Hermione said tiredly, reading a new letter. She immediately choked as she read the first sentence. "Everyone must have gone mad," Hermione said, looking mystified. "I've been asked to play for the Ballycastle Bats, and I can't even go near a broom without feeling nauseous..."

"Don't remind me," a voice suddenly said from the kitchen door.

They all yawned a "hullo" to Ron as he made his way to the table, and sat in between Hermione and Ginny, and, squinting at his toast, began to spread some jam on it. Poor Ron had never quite gotten over the time he forced Hermione onto a broom and was immediately spewed all over.

"You'd better accept one of these soon, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley warned. "You don't want to end up doing something useless with your life..."

Hermione looked at her thoughtfully. "Actually, I've been thinking about continuing SPEW..."

"No, Hermione," Harry said exasperatedly.

Charlie looked confused. "What's-" Harry shook his head desperately, and Charlie quickly shut up.

"She said don't do something useless," Ginny said to Hermione.

"SPEW is useful," Hermione said, appalled.

"I think SPEW is a brilliant idea," Luna said dreamily from her seat.

They all looked at Luna, and Hermione quickly said, "Well, maybe SPEW isn't the best course of action for supporting me..." Unbeknownst to Hermione, Harry shot Luna a thankful look, who smiled slightly in return. "But I've got to think of a job soon, or else all the jobs will be gone," Hermione sighed.

Rolling his eyes, Charlie said, "I wouldn't worry about that; I'm betting that plenty of employers are willing to fire all their workers just to get you to work for them."

Hermione turned pink at the compliment. "My parents are expecting me to move out shortly, so I had better accept one in the next week..."

Ron ogled her. "That's outrageous! Bill didn't get a flat of his own until he turned twenty-five!"

"Just because you plan on spending the rest of your life in your mother's basement, doesn't mean I do," Hermione said.

Mrs. Weasley glared at her youngest son beadily. "You'd better not, Ronald Weasley, or I'm kicking you out of this house myself!"

"See what you've done?" Ron snapped at Hermione.

Harry interrupted and said, "Ron, no offense, but you cause twice the damage as Hermione..."

"For example," Charlie supplied, "Bill had to Obliviate Sadie last night, poor girl..."

"Why don't you work abroad somewhere?" Luna asked pensively. "That ought to be plenty adventurous..."

Ginny looked up from her pancakes brightly. "That doesn't sound so bad; you love to travel, Hermione!"

Hermione stared at the blonde girl, wondering if she should admit that Luna's suggestion was a stroke of genius. "That sounds good," Hermione said seriously. Luna smiled.

Ron glared at her, the bit of toast he was demolishing half-way to his lips. "You can't mean Bulgaria. Anyway, how would we be able to keep an eye on you if you prance off to another country?"

"I'm not a baby, Ronald," Hermione snapped.

Completely ignoring what she said, Ron continued, "There is no way I'm letting you out of the country on your own-"

"I'm a big girl, Ron," she snapped impatiently. "I can take care of myself."

"You're not going anywhere-" Ron began heatedly through a mouthful of toast.

And to Hermione's immense surprise, Charlie suddenly said, "How does Romania sound?"

Ron began to choke on his food.

"Romania?" Hermione asked interestedly.

Glaring at her, Ron said, "Isn't that near Bulgaria...?"

"Why are you still sore about Viktor," Hermione snapped. "I told you we're just friends!"

"Old habits die hard-"

Completely ignoring his youngest brother, Charlie continued, "Since Ron's an over-protective prat, you'll have me to look after you, and working at the dragon reserve is hardly dull... of course, you may feel a bit out of place with all the hands-on stuff, but I'll help you out in that department. It's quite a beautiful country actually, lots of tourist attractions, and," he said suggestively, "Plenty of Romanian wizarding history- cripes, what a display of history at its best!" His eyes glazed over for a moment.

"Hermione doesn't want to work with dragons," Ron snapped. "Do you, Hermione?"

"Who said that?" Hermione retorted.

Luna looked up from her seat dreamily. "I think it's a brilliant idea..."

Then the most astonishing thing happened.

Hermione said "I'd love to work in Romania."

*

Charlie was still in a state of shock. He was helping Hermione fill out an application form (Mr. Plankton nearly peed himself with excitement when Charlie asked him for an application for Hermione Granger, and then immediately gave him a raise), and he still couldn't believe he had the gall to ask Hermione to work at the dragon reserve. Even worse, she had accepted, and he was going to be forced to see her every day... He felt slightly sick at the thought- he felt like he was on a rollercoaster when she was around- not to mention he tended to act oddly. He flinched slightly as he remembered buttering his glass of pumpkin juice that morning- an after effect of Hermione accepting his proposition. Harry had stared at him rather strangely for some reason.

"This application form seems rather short..." Hermione said.

Charlie shrugged. "Wait till you get to the medical history application..."

She looked at him worriedly. "Do people get hurt often?"

"Of course," Charlie said. "But no one's been killed in years..."

"Oh," Hermione said dumbly, unsure what to say to such news.

"Question number twenty-two," Charlie yawned. "Which sect would you like to work in?"

Hermione massaged her temples. "Meaning...?"

"Well," Charlie started, "you can work in the Dragon Waste Removal Sect- that speaks for itself, no one in their right minds would choose that. It's mostly for those who have been fired by their current sect but don't want to leave the reserve..." Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Then there's the Harvest and Memorial sect, so you're mostly dealing with dead dragons- I wouldn't work there if I were you- you need a strong stomach to deal with disassembling dragons, grinding the bones, draining the blood, skinning..." he scratched his nose thoughtfully. "Then there's the Dragon Co-op and Control sect- I work there, but it doesn't seem like your type of work. Next is the Dragon Registry and Naming sect- it's very dull office work-"

"I can work there," Hermione said quickly.

Charlie laughed. "Trust me- I did it my first year, and it was duller than sitting through a first year's lesson of History of Magic..."

"Then what am I going to do? Cook, will I?" Hermione asked.

Rolling his eyes, Charlie said, "Well, you can work in the Dragon's sanctuary..."

"What's that?"

"After a group of dragon's are born, there's usually one or two of the newborns that are rejected by its mother- the mother refuses to take care of it, so the dragon is taken to the Dragon Sanctuary, where the witches and wizards in that division nurture them and help raise them into full-growns... the workers in that sect seem to get rather attached to the dragons that pass through the Sanctuary. In fact, I think that might be best for you, Hermione. The Dragon Sanctuary is always needing more research done to make the nurturing of the dragons there as complete and natural as possible, and I hear you're damn good at that..."

Hermione flushed at the unexpected comment.

"I'd love to work there- sounds fascinating," Hermione said.

Charlie nodded his approval. "Excellent! Now, question twenty-three..."

Hermione peeked at the paper. "Who would you like to be your mentor?"

As Charlie checked off 'Dragon Sanctuary' under question twenty-two, the names under question twenty-three began to melt into each other and change into a slightly shorter and different list of names. Hermione's eyes brightened and she said enthusiastically, "Say, that's quite a cool bit of magic- do you know the spell-"

"Hermione," Charlie sighed.

"Oh, all right," Hermione pouted, looking down the list of mentors, their credentials and 'fun facts'.

"Don't choose Kaida- she's got a temper like you wouldn't believe," Charlie said. "No one lives through her training."

Hermione scoffed. "Oh, she can't be that bad."

"She is," Charlie said seriously. "Even my boss is terrified of her."

Hermione said, "What about this Lucien character? Credentials seem very good, and he's been working there for- cripes, fourteen years!"

"No," Charlie said. "He doesn't speak English- you'd never learn a thing."

"Oh," Hermione said. "Who do you suggest?"

Charlie picked up the list and studied it closely, murmuring to himself things like "horny bastard" and "tried to set Cheveyvo on me as a joke... still have the burns..."

And meanwhile, Hermione was silently getting progressively nervous. "Is everyone at the reserve as bad as you say?"

He looked at her, startled. "Goodness no- they're all fantastic! They just enjoy picking on me, is all... you'll be fine with them."

"If you're sure..."

"Of course I am," Charlie said firmly. "Anyway, I think you should choose Saffron as your mentor- she's a friend of mine, and I think you'll get along well with her. Her credentials aren't mind-blowing, but she's been at the reserve for six years, and she has yet to send me to the hospital department like the rest of them have..."

"All right," Hermione said, checking off the name on the list. "Next..."

"Question twenty-four..." Charlie yawned. "Your, uh, sexual history..."

There was a long and uncomfortable silence as Hermione steadily turned redder and redder in the face. A corner of Charlie's mouth twitched.

"Charlie, you made that up!" Hermione shrieked, suppressing a grin as Charlie laughed and laughed and laughed...