What Have I Done?

Severus Snape leaned against the window watching the rain lash his house. He sighed heavily and stared at the dieing lawn. What have I done? Lighting stuck and he had to look away. A blond haired boy was asleep curled up in his favorite chair. The boy wasn't comfortable nor was he having pleasant dreams but the potion Snape slipped into his tea would keep him there for hours. The man would need that long to process what he had done.

What have I done?

You protected the boy.

Which boy?

The one that matters.

That was still a cryptic answer. Potter would destroy the Dark Lord but Draco Malfoy was the closest thing he had to a son. He would die for that boy even before the Unbreakable vow had been cast. He would die for him, them. He shivered even though the room was unbearably warm.

The portrait above the mantle piece moved. A dark haired man with a perpetual scowl stared down at Draco then at Snape. "Little young for you isn't he?"

Snape turned back to the window refusing to look at the picture. "Found your way out of that maze did you? I'll have to work harder next time."

"What trouble have you gotten into now, boy?"

"My own trouble, Tobias, now go away." Most of the time he enjoyed arguing and hexing the memory of his father but not tonight.

"Oh, I know that look, someone died. Did you finally do it yourself, boy? Or did one of your fine friends do it while you whimpered in the corner like a coward," the painting mocked.

Snape smirked and looked back. "You'd be proud of me, Toby. I killed a man that was better than you in every way. He was a friend, a father, and the greatest wizard that ever lived. I didn't even blink."

Tobias Snape turned pale, a strange feat in a painting. "You are a monster, Severus. I've said so since the day you were born. All that magic nonsense, it went to your head. I should have snapped your neck when I had the chance."

Snape kept a tenuous hold on his rage. "But you didn't and now your only self is a shadow in a painting. The rest of you is rotting in a shallow grave with then other inconsequential Muggles."

Tobias shrugged. "And you are here. Still trying to get yourself out of a mess you started twenty years ago. My soul is at peace, boy. Is yours?"

"Your soul is in hell," he said.

"Then we'll have a round of gold when you join me."

"Incendio."

Tobias ducked. He laughed as the back ground of the portrait blackened and withered. "Are you mad? You'll burn the house down before you take my picture down. Your mother was a witch with Charms."

There was a scrambling and a thump and a rat emerged from a bookshelf. The rat shook itself as it turned into a short scruffy man. "Why is that boy here, Snape? He should be working on the plan."

"He's a present for a job well done," Tobias mocked as he pulled himself above the frame.

"Well done?" Wormtail jittered excitedly. "Did you do it then? Is Harry dead?"

"Potter was never the target." Snape stared strait out the window. He couldn't look at the little creep.

"Not Potter? The who-oh-Dumbledore. The boy succeeded in destroying Dumbledore." The little man giggled madly.

Snape closed his eyes tightly. What have I done?

You protected the boy.

Fuck the boy, I should have protected myself.

Coward.

"I did what I had to do," Snape said, more to himself than to his unwanted and unwelcome company.

Wormtail cocked his head. "You killed him?"

Draco kicked out in his sleep and slid half off the chair. They both watched the drugged boy shift and find a comfortable position. Yes, I am a coward. I'm sorry, Albus.

"Did he beg? Did he beg, Snape? Tell me." Wormtail pawed at the hem of Snape's robes.

"No, he didn't beg. He stood there and took it like the fool Gryffindor that he was." The lie came easy. Easier than the truth anyway.

Wormtail bowed his head, disappointed, but then perked up. "Have you told the Dark Lord? He must know this great news."

"No, I have not. Why don't you go, Pettigrew?" He wanted the man out, any pretense would do.

Wormtail trembled with glee. "Oh, yes of course I'll go." With a pop he was gone.

Snape turned back to the window. The man in the portrait moved about trying to gave his son's mood but he stayed quiet for a first.

"What have I done?" he whispered.

You protected the boy.

"I did what I had to do."

Yes.

"Did I?"

The lightning flashed and lit the house. There was a dead silence afterward as he waited for the thunderclap. It never came.