Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel

Once, as my heart remembers,
All the stars were fallen embers.
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you.

Once, in the care of morning
In the air was all belonging.
Once, when that day was dawning.
I was with you.

How far we are from morning
How far we are
And the stars shining through the darkness,
Falling in the air.

Once, as the night was leaving
Into us our dreams were weaving.
Once, all dreams were worth keeping.
I was with you.

Once, when our hearts were singing,
I was with you.

FALLEN EMBERS, by Enya.

I remember a time when it did not matter what side we were on- it was just you and me. Me and you, forever. What happened? I never stopped loving you. Not even when you refused to tell people that we were in love. I wonder if you ever really loved me? Was I just a way of passing the time? Did you think that you could get closer to your enemies through me? Did you love me?

I love you. I always have, in a way, and I always will. Whatever happens. Did you know that they are blaming me because of what you did? I tried to stop you, you know I did. Do they really think I just stood there and let you lose yourself? I threatened everything. I said I would leave you, I said I would stop loving you. It was the wrong thing to say, I know that now. I should have told you how I really felt.

I wish I could go back to those nights that seemed to last a lifetime, when I was with you. If only I could go back, have another chance! Then you would not be over there. Or perhaps I would not be over here. I can see the lights of the camp. The enemy camp. I know you are there. Are you thinking about me? About the nights we shared? Do you remember me begging you to tell people, so that we could share the days too? Do you even remember who I am?

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I suppose you think I am the enemy. Your enemy. I suppose you hate me- do you remember that? When you said that you would and could stop loving me if I switched sides? Do you love me now? Are you even there, sitting somewhere, thinking of me? I can see the lights. I know you are there. I wish you could hear me. What would you be saying, if we could talk like this?

I would be telling you that I am sorry. That I love you, and I always will. If you could hear me say that, you would not believe me. I could see it in your eyes, every night we shared- I should have told everyone. Then maybe... maybe we would be sitting together, instead of apart like this. Why are we apart? I love you, and I think that you love me. But you sounded so sure, when you said that you could stop loving me. I could never stop loving you.

I know you are there. Are you talking to anyone? Have you found someone else to love? For me, there is no one else. You will always be my only love. I am loyal only to you, and my Master. My Master. It still sounds strange to say it. I can imagine the expression on your face. Even when you scowled, you were beautiful. That is what I first fell in love with, you know. Then I talked to you, and I found out who you were, and I fell in the love with the person underneath. You.

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We are about to fight. People are talking to me, and at me, but I cannot hear them. All I can hear is your voice... "I do not care. If you cannot love me. I do not care..." Over and over. I can still see your face when I close my eyes. You looked so sure. Did I look so sure when I said that I could not love you? I do not think I did, but why else would you have walked away?

They just handed me a Sparkshooter- one of those new broomsticks that shoots sparks. I do not want to use it on you, but what do I do if I see you? Will you be aiming to kill me? If I aim to kill you, will I able to? To end your life? Maybe there is nothing there any more. Maybe your eyes do not glitter with life since you joined the Dark Lord.

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I keep on seeing your face in my head as I try out the Sparkshooter they gave. A broomstick that shoots... what next? Perhaps, after the war, we will not need weapons any more. If your side wins. Again, I can see your eyes. I remember they were so cold when they looked at me for so long, but then... I looked into your eyes, and I fell in love. Do you remember that day in Potions, when the dungeons were freezing cold? Remember I was so confused that I went the wrong way, and you found me in a corner, freezing? And you put your cloak over me, and just sat there?

We are standing up. Mounting our brooms. I do not want to be here. But... this is the life I chose. It was my Master, or you. And you said that you could stop loving me. I never knew if that was true, because I never looked into your eyes. What would I have seen? Love, or hate?

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I am flying almost at the front, next to Ron. Hermione is back at camp, healing. Ginny is, too. Ginny thinks she loves me, but the she never knew about us. Hermione knows, and Ron suspects. If we survive, I will tell him. I will tell him we were in love. I will tell him you abandoned me for the dark side. He hates you now, everyone does. You will be evil forever, in books, in plays, in films... evil forever.

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I am flying at the very front, next to the Master. I know you are at the front too. That is who you are. I am only at the front because I want to see you one last time. Before I die. I have decided- I will make one final gesture. I will show you that I love you. I will kill him. For you, my love. My love for all eternity.

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In a few moments, our eyes will meet. Two tired pairs of eyes, both once full of life. I wish I had said the right thing. I wish I could change what has happened- but time-turners are illegal now. Everything is illegal... or impossible. Like us.

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I will betray him for you. I will end the war for you. I will set you free. I know that Ginny loved you then, she can have you. You will be happy. You will. I know you will live happily ever after, with kids and a large house full of love... the one thing I took from you.

My eyes meet yours.

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My eyes meet yours.

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You mouth the words I have ached to hear.

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You mouth the words I have ached to hear.

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You take one final look at me, your love.

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You take one final look at me, your love.

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You turn to the Dark Lord.

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I turn to the Dark Lord.

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He does not see you hold up your wand.

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He does not see me hold up my wand.

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Avada Kedavra, I hear you say.

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Avada Kedavra, I say.

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You look at me one last time as the hordes close in.

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You look at me one last time as the hordes close in.

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I love you.

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I love you.

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You will die.

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You will live.

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I kept to the light.

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I turned to the dark.

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I am Draco Malfoy.

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I am Harry Potter.