Shared Thoughts, Unspoken Words

I've seen you in the corridors. I've memorized your face: your green eyes, your kind, gentle, contagious smile, your black messy hair. My ears are trained for your voice. When I'm talking to my girl friends I look everywhere for you, training my eyes for your figure.

In class we'll sit next to each other. It may seem like nothing to you but to me it's everything. Suddenly my body is frozen. My arms have gone all tingly; my heart fell into my stomach, and my stomach dropped into my feet, I can tell because my feet feel strange too. My knees, I can feel them, ready to give out any second. I'm light-headed now and I notice I'm holding my breath. When you look over at me I smile, but my smile falters when you look away, back to your notes. You walk with pride and coolness. I can finally breathe again and I sigh heavily, still watching you walk away. I can't help but smile to myself. If only you'd give me the time of day. If only you'd talk to me in class. I don't care what about. Perhaps you need a quill? Or don't know what page we're on? Maybe you just want to talk. Whatever it is, it would make my day.

How does it feel to know you can make or break my day. You can make me cry, and you can make me smile and forget everything. Yet in the back of my mind I keep thinking, if only you were mine; the thought stays back there, I always ignore it, not allowing myself to think of it. You'll come around in good time, I know it. I want to tell you my feelings, but how would you react? Would you forget? Not care? But it doesn't matter, just keep nodding to me in the morning, and talking to me after class, and we'll both be just fine.

~ . ~ : ~ * ~ : ~ . ~

I can't stop thinking about you; you and your frizzy brown hair, brown eyes, and your cute laugh. That laugh. My ears know it well. Whenever I hear you laugh it makes me smile and whenever I hear someone laugh I think of how yours is better. Every time I see your hand shoot up in the air in class I smile because I'll get to hear your voice, and your knowledge amazes me. You seem to know everything, how everything works and how people will react.

I love sitting by you during classes. It's no big deal, really, I guess. We're just friends, right? Friends sit with each other. But I love it just the same. Every time you and I are alone my throat goes dry, my palms sweat, I get nervous, and I don't know what to say. That is when the awkward silences come. I hate them. I hate myself when I try to tell you my feelings but you speak up first about homework, or Ron. I always wonder if you like Ron, and not me. Or do you like either of us?

So many times I wake up feeling happy and not knowing why until I get out into the Common Room and see your bright eyes. Then I know, I love you, this is why I live. You are the reason I breathe. How does it feel to be compared to something as important as oxygen? Without it I'd die. Without you, not just my physical being, but my spiritual being, would die. I'll tell you one day, maybe, that I love you. And maybe, maybe, you'll feel the same way?