Faithless

Faithless

Alicia

Who am I? For what purpose do I exist? Even I don't know...

The water is cold and laps at my ankles, soaking my socks. The lake calls to me, luring me deeper into its depths. It's so dark tonight. I'm cold; I left my cloak on the bank. Not that that matters now.

Nothing matters to me anymore...

Standing in the water, I replay in my mind the things that drove me to do this.

My parents recently had a messy divorce, and after that, everything seemed to go wrong. Not enough to be obvious to everyone else, so no one noticed. Perhaps they would have if I'd told someone, but...

Who could I tell? Angelina's life was going so well, I didn't want to ruin it for her. And Katie... Katie had her own demons. She didn't need mine.

In a strange way, I'm happy now, because I've found a way out. A way out of it all.

I look up at the windows of Hogwarts; the bright windows that once seemed so welcoming now seem so cruel and uninviting.

I'm terrified that maybe someone will see me and try to- what? Rescue me? I can't be rescued. Ever.

Determined to end my suffering, I take a step forward.

George

What's wrong with Alicia? She's become so quiet lately. She thinks no one notices, but I do. I'm worried, I know she's been going through a lot at the moment.

There's something moving down at the edge of the lake, I try to make out what it is, but in the dark I can't make it out.

I create a bit of light with my wand, and try to see out the window. In the glow, I can recognise a person standing in the shallows. I see a flash of blonde hair, and then I know.

Alicia.

I run faster than I've ever run before, trying to get to her before the lake takes her away from me forever. I run up to the edge, panting. Alicia's in up to her ankles. "Alicia!" I yell.

She jumps and turns around, she's heard me. Her face is pale and wet with tears. "George?" she whispers, so that I can barely hear her.

She doesn't move. Without hesitation, I walk in to the lake. She's shivering with cold, and her sobs become louder.

"You're going to stop me, George, aren't you?" she asks.

I nod. "Yes, I am. I can't let you do this, Leesh."

"What makes you think I won't do it again?" Her voice is thin and barely audible. I wrap my cloak around her and lead her out of the lake.

"Because I trust you. And you need to trust me. I have faith in you to pull yourself out of this, Leesh, and you can have faith in me to catch you if you fall."

Alicia shook her head. "I don't have faith anymore."

I saved her, that time. She spent a while in the Hospital Wing, being treated for her sadness. I went to visit her regularly, and she told me once that she didn't think any of the potions they gave her would make her better. I should have known, then, that something was afoot. But even so, I trusted the medicines. I thought she'd be alright.

It turned out I couldn't trust Alicia after all.

Two weeks later McGonagall woke us all in the middle of the night and told us the horrible news. Alicia had jumped off the Astronomy Tower and died.

Even now, three years later, I remember everything so vividly. I still think about the fact that I never found out what made her so sad. I should have made her tell me, but I didn't. I just trusted everything to be alright.

I should have listened to her. "I don't have faith anymore."

Right then, I should have known that I couldn't trust her not to do it again.

I miss her. It's the third anniversary of her death, and it still feels as if it happened yesterday. I can't help thinking that, maybe, it's my fault.

Because I trusted someone who was faithless.