All I Ask Of You

All I Ask Of You

"All I want is freedom, a world with no more lies..."

Katie's soft voice washes over me as I lie there, feigning sleep. She has such a beautiful voice when she sings, but few people ever hear it. But I hear it... It's stunning, like the crashing waves of the sea or the rushing of a brook.

So beautiful.

Her voice rises and falls to the tune of the unfamiliar melody. I don't know the song, but Katie told me that it came from a Muggle musical, a story told partly in song. It means nothing to me, but to hear Katie sing... She could sing a dozen meaningless tunes, if only I could hear her sweet voice again.

Her song floats over from where she's standing at her dressing table, brushing her long, red hair that hangs in soft waves like pale fire. It gleams softly in the candlelight while I lie on my bed, only a short distance from her but still, so far away.

"And you, always beside me..."

Katie...

Does she know how I feel? The flames of the candles flicker as I continue my silent vigil from beneath my half-closed eyelids. I want to reach out to her, touch her skin, let the melody that escapes from her lips lull me into sleep.

But I remain still, the silent watcher, distant, detached, and desperately alone. I struggle to keep up my pretence as tears form in my eyes, dropping soundlessly onto the pillow like round pieces of glass.

"You'll guard me and you'll guide me..."

This is torture, Katie.

I pray she won't turn around as my tears continue to fall. She can't hear them... I cry silently. I make no sound. Katie's song gives voice to me, my silent, desperate plea spoken through the one I'm trying so hard to call to.

This feeling... This pain... I can't describe it, let alone understand why it happens. I just... I just want to let her know.

But that is one thing I can never do. How can I tell someone I feel this way when I can't even explain what I feel to myself?

What if I do tell her? Will she push me away? Will my heart be left in pieces?

Will my heart break in silence, or will I finally win the courage to yell, to scream, to break from this infernal, quiet hell?

I clench my eyes shut, not wanting to see Katie's face as she turns to me. Hopefully she won't notice and just go to bed, taking her song with her.

But she has seen me. I know she has.

"Alicia?" Her hand brushes my shoulder, and I give an unconscious shiver at her touch. "Are you alright?"

No, I want to scream, no, I'm not alright! I don't want to feel this way, this hurt, this emptiness...

"Is there anything I can do?" Her voice is concerned, she really does want to know what's wrong. Her flame-like hair rests on my bare arm as she leans towards me.

It's all too much.

"No... No, I'm fine, thanks," I mumble.

"Alright, then."

I hear a rustle as Katie clambers into her bed. I roll over, keeping my back to her. For a second she stops, and in a strange way I feel her looking at me.

Then the candles are blown out, and the silence of the night sets in like an extension of my mind.

In the darkness, Katie sings, softly so that I can barely hear it.

"Love me... That's all I ask of you."