The Intentional Accident

Harry was the one who had to make all the arrangements for Michael's funeral, as Sirius could not. After his outburst at St. Mungo's, it was almost as if he didn't trust his own tongue. He said nothing, afraid that in his deep state of grief he would say more that he didn't mean and drive those he loved away. Even at Michael's funeral, he remained silent. Oliver was in a similar state, one of seclusion and silence. The duty of delivering the eulogy therefore fell upon the shoulders of Patrick, Michael's best friend. Although he did his best, Sirius felt that his words didn't do Michael justice, but he was in no state to voice how much of an impact Michael had made on his life or how much of a void he had left now that he was gone.

It was decided that Harry and Ginny should look after David for a while. For about a month, Sirius retreated into the cottage in Hogsmeade. Just standing inside all alone, he felt as if he were being torn apart. Everything reminded him of Michael, the bed that he had shared with him for so long, the garden where they exchanged their vows; it all conjured up such blissful memories for him. However, they were painful memories as well. The human mind cannot help but put itself through what it cannot bear. Ultimately, Sirius decided to remain in Hogsmeade, instead of moving back to London with David. The pain of losing Michael was never going to go away. It might diminish at times, but would inevitably flare up again whenever Sirius felt vulnerable or alone. He had a terrible feeling that he was going to spend the rest of his life in this melancholy. This feeling left without a trace during a fateful visit to his parents.

He had come to see them for the first time since David first went to live with them. Upon arriving, he was directed into the living room, where he found David walking around the room, completely unaided.

He had missed seeing David take his first steps. He hadn't been there. Instead he had been sat at home wallowing in his own misery. Falling to his knees, he embraced the little boy as he came running up to him. That day, he promised David that he would always be there for him. Although his son was too young to understand, he kissed his father's tear stained cheek, as if promising to be there for him as well.

~|~

The years passed as they do, day by day. Far from rolling into one another, each day was a gift to Sirius, especially when he spent the whole of it with his son. By the time David was eleven and preparing for Hogwarts, he looked exactly like Michael at that age. He had even inherited his father's short bristly hair. More importantly, he had Michael's charm and loving nature.

On the morning that David was to catch the Hogwarts Express at King's Cross station, so that he could get the full experience and the chance to meet his schoolmates, Sirius found an article in the Daily Prophet that caught his eye. He soon put it down though, as it concerned someone he never wished to think about. Scott Finnigan had made another appeal to the Wizengamot for his release. He had only gone to Azkaban for his use of the Cruciatus curse, as it couldn't be proved that he had intended to kill Michael. He didn't know it until too late, but Sirius knew just how dangerous Scott was. Whether his attack on Michael had been coldly intentional or just a mad accident, Scott had seen fit to do it. Sirius had never pushed for an explanation, as the truth would have only made it all worse.

"Dad?" The voice of his son brought Sirius out of his stupor. Just in time too, any longer and Sirius might have sunk into inconsolability again. "It's time to go." David offered his hand to his father. Smiling lovingly, Sirius took it, rose from his chair and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. Michael would have been proud of the keen, lively boy David had become. It was this thought, and this thought alone, that kept Sirius going until his eventual reunion with his husband in whatever lies beyond this mortal existence. For the time being, Sirius knew he had a wonderful future to live out, watching and helping his son grow. After a quick squeeze of his father's hand David stepped into the fireplace and in a flash of emerald green, he was gone.