Musings on Shapes

Musings on Shapes

I want to laugh. Well, in fact, I do laugh. It is raw and hollow, but it's still laughter.

We had done it. Everyone said we were going to, but we denied it at every mention. And for once, they were right and we were wrong. We had become that which we mocked.

A love triangle.

Is that right? I mean, how does one define love triangle? Is it two people being in love with the same person? Or is it the first person being in love with the second, who is in love with the third, who is in love with the first?

I swear, thinking about this makes my head hurt.

What about if two people are in love with a third, and that third person is in love with both of them?

Is there any aspirin around here?

I should have seen this coming. We spend a lot of time together, both at Hogwarts and during our holidays. But now, as we go 'Hunting For Horcruxes', we spend literally all of our time together. And you know what? We love it.

We've never had a normal friendship. I mean, we initially became friends because they saved me from a mountain troll, so that should give you a fairly good indication as to the direction our friendship has gone. Our whole friendship can be traced by the mysteries and life-threatening events we have experienced.

Maybe that's why we're so close. I mean, really, we are a lot closer than most friends are, even best friends. In fact, our fights are more like 'lovers tiffs' than fights between friends. And that includes the fight the boys had in our fourth year.

This brings me to another question. One that makes me glad I bought those pills at Boots the other day. The way the boys feel about me - is it possible they feel that way about each other too?

I know, it sounds crazy, right? But I have seen too many lingering looks and touches for my mind to not at least wonder.

Which brings me back to the question of how to define a love triangle. Is it when three people are all equally in love with each other?

In love.

Oh God.

It's true. I'm in love with both of my best friends. How is that even possible?

Okay, so maybe now isn't the best time to be worrying about the 'how's'. Because that would definitely turn my headache into a full-blown migraine.

So now the question becomes: What do I do about it?

And the answer to the million dollar question ... drum roll please ...

I have no fucking idea.

*

"How's the headache, Hermione?" Harry asks.

"Painful," I reply, grimacing as I speak.

"You should get some rest," Ron suggests, his face etched with concern.

I look up at them. They are sitting on the double bed, leaning against the headboard with legs crossed at the ankle, going through our notes and letters from Remus and McGonagall. They are looking at me so intently that I literally have to bite back the desire to confess my feelings to them.

"You're right," I say, standing up from my place on the floor.

They smile in relief before going back to their work, clearly expecting me to go and lie down either on the other bed or the couch, which make up the entire contents of our hotel room.

But I don't. Instead, I approach the foot of their bed, crawl along it and lie down between their warm bodies.

I don't look at their faces. I close my eyes straight away, not looking at them in case I see in their faces that they think me mad or inappropriate.

And it's too bad, too. Because, in years to come, when we're happy and together, they tell me that when my head hit the pillow, they looked at each other and grinned.