Willing to Wait

First Year

My first year at Hogwarts is almost over, and it passed without me falling all over myself for some guy. Sad to say, I'm one of the only girls who can claim the honor. I've never imagined I would see so many things of which I was previously skeptical. Now, when I should have been looking up Nicholas Flamel, I was, instead, allowing myself to think. Thinking about Hogwarts, thinking about Harry and Ron, thinking about my teachers, thinking about Voldemort, and about this boy. As I said, I wasn't 'falling all over' some boy, but this doesn't mean I didn't like one.

It's kind of weird - people always say that opposites attract, but I don't think I could have found someone more like me. Now, while rumors may spread around school about Harry and Ron and me, as to who was 'with' whom, they couldn't be more wrong. There is nothing between either Harry or Ron and myself. As for if they are together, I have no idea; though I've got a feeling Ron is really into girls, and God knows every girl is after Harry because he's famous. As for me, I had my first crush ever, and first loves are the ones that will be remembered forever and ever. Or so they say; how would I know, anyway?

Well, when I first met Ron, I thought the starkness of his fiery hair was very off-putting, but now I have a different opinion. Not because of Ron; as I said, I don't like him. But I have, in fact, fallen for another Weasley. Now I think fate has played a trick on me, by letting me find the perfect guy, then letting me know that he is related to my best friend and he's a couple of years older than me.

I remember that at the Sorting Feast, Ron was not very excited about school starting - that's when I knew he was a slacker. But having read all of my books over the summer many times, I was ecstatic. But it seemed that I was the only first year, or any year student in fact, who was excited to learn for the sake of learning. Well, it was about then that I found this person who shared the same love for knowledge that I possessed. Three people down from me was Ron; next to him was Harry; and next to him was Percy Weasley, who was sitting next to me. This was no problem, seeing as I didn't quite like Ron, and I was impassive about Harry at that point.

So now I'm almost getting to the point of this. I have a tendency to think in numerous directions at once, like this one time when I - no, no I have to keep on track here. Through most of the feast, which was splendid, as my parents could never cook, I was talking with Percy about classes. As soon as he asked me who I was and why I was seeming very jumpy, and I told him a bit too much and then some and then finally how I wanted to learn everything at the very moment, he warmed up faster than an oven. All through the meetings and day I had not seen Percy smile as broadly or as brilliantly as he did to me then. And it made me feel warm.

Now I didn't fall in love on the spot, for I am not that shallow; it's obvious that 'love at first sight' is based on physical appearance, and I have not been very blessed in that area. No, it takes a while for me to fall in love, for I am attracted to people's personalities and not their looks. Now, Percy's persona was quite different from that of anyone else I had met. He was very smart, and liked it, but he was also very guarded. Not unlike me, he does not like people to see his troubles, so he comes off, again not unlike me, a bit egotistical. And I noticed that his brothers frequently called him pompous, and it would seem he was. But the same could have been said about me. I wasn't arrogant, just introverted.

Now most people accepted the fact that Percy was just this way, but I am not convinced as easily as others may be; I just have so much more sense than that. So I tried to make conversation with Percy whenever I could. I noticed he was not very friendly with many other students - a bit of a 'loner.' He only had one roommate, Oliver Wood the Quidditch captain, but they didn't talk much in public. As I soon found, houses were almost like different tribes; one simply did not converse on friendly terms with an opposing tribe. So, as to not break this rule, I never truly tried to become friends with people from other houses. I, myself, was quite friendless, except for Neville because I helped him in Potions so much, so I sought out Percy for intelligent conversation regularly. Many times I would find him in the Common Room or the Library, and we would talk. About oh, everything really, but we rarely ventured into feelings that had nothing to do with knowledge.

Now, one day Percy told me that it would have been a much better fate had I been in his year so he could have had some competition in class. Oh, I wish! I did not always go to Quidditch games, for I was not very sports- oriented, and I was surprised and yet not surprised at all, to find Percy in the common room studying during game times, just like me. It was on one such occasion, when my heart beat faster than any other time before; that was when I knew I was in love.

I was working on a word problem for History of Magic, and sad to say, I couldn't fathom the answer. I worked out the solution on paper, but kept coming up short by a few numbers. I did something I rarely do; I put my feet to the table, and pushed my chair away. It reached just so my feet rested on my homework and my chair leaned back on two legs. However, being as tired as I was, I didn't hear Percy coming up behind me. His head came into view above me, as he leaned over me. Having his face so close to mine, caused me to tip back off balance, and my chair fell over. The stupid chair was only to the height of my neck, so I, ungracefully, smacked my head against the stone. I coughed with a long, raspy "Owwwww..."

Percy came over and helped me up whilst apologizing for scaring me. I assured him that it was my fault for sitting in that position. I got back up into my chair, having righted it, when Percy asked, "Why were you sitting like that to do your homework?" He looked as though the very thought was mortifying.

"Oh," leaning my chin back onto my knuckles to look at my work, I reluctantly admitted, "I was trying to figure out this problem, but I got stuck."

Percy leaned over my left shoulder, causing me to sit up very straight, tucking my arms to my side, and to grab at the top part of my robe, holding it closed, self-consciously. I could feel Percy's breath on my cheek, and I couldn't refrain from blushing when Percy's arm lightly brushed my own. My heart rate picked up as I tried to keep my breathing in check. Percy took no notice of these things when at last I heard a triumphant, "Aha!" Percy reached his finger into the middle of the page and pointed to some numbers. "See here, your long division is wrong." He picked up my quill and fixed the mistake for me.

I couldn't help it, I covered my face with my hands, I felt so - "Oh, God, I feel so stupid!" I had felt myself turn red with indignant shame.

"Oh, don't worry, Hermione, I don't think we even had these problems until we were second years. It's nothing really," he encouraged me. Still, I couldn't help but feel stupid in front of him. I made sure never to make that mistake ever again.

* * * * * * *

My efforts to stay in control and not appear stupid worked, and as I heard Ron say, "Something must have 'worked' to make the stick that was shoved up her ass, go even farther up!" But soon I regarded Harry and Ron in a different light; but only after they saved my life and proved to be good people. I'm glad Percy wasn't around when my Gryffindor courage failed and I cried like a baby because of a troll.

But now here I am, the year almost up, and I still like Percy. I suppose this will pass over the summer, if not, at the latest, when Percy graduates in two years. While two years is a long time, one must be patient for happiness. But I am surely willing to wait...

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The summer before Fifth Year

It is not even six in the morning when I am startled out of a very, very good dream. I had hoped my crush for Percy would have been lost over the summer, just as I had hoped each previous summer, but to no avail. I have not seen Percy in a year, but still, it seems, I like him.

Being at the Burrow to go to The Wizarding-Muggle Museum in France has affected me in a serious way. Luckily no one sees how I am around Percy. Ron invited me to the museum, figuring he could go off with Harry, and I could actually learn something. Tomorrow our group is off to France, but today we are staying at the Burrow.

I don't expect anyone else to be up at six in the morning, so I head downstairs for some tea. I quickly make myself a cup of raspberry tea and head into the study. I pick my way among the articles of litter on the floor as I recall my dream.

I had been in a dark office, and I was sitting on a desk; I was looking very provocative. Provocative? Me? That's a bit of a contradiction in terms. I was in a mini-skirt; eww, I hate those things. Then the hands of a man, the only part of him not engulfed in shadow came to my sides, running over the length of my body. I just smiled as they went under my shirt and discarded the piece of clothing. Wow, 'Dream Hermione' is easy. Then the hands undid my skirt, and I slid off the desk to let it fall. I was just standing there in lace underwear; I don't even like lace! I let the hands undo my bra and slide it off my shoulders. And I laughed as lips met my collarbone. Then he leaned me back onto the desk, and slowly came into the light above me. It was Percy!

And that's when I woke up, sweating. I think this is getting serious. And now his girlfriend dumped him and became an ex-girlfriend; although he hides his emotions well; I see him suffer and I wish I could help him.

I open the study door, walk in, and then shut it behind me. I am quiet so as not to wake anyone up; I am, after all, considerate. When I turn around, I almost drop my tea. There is Percy, sitting at the desk, hunched over a report for work. It looks as though he is having a bit of trouble. I silently set my mug on a coaster on the coffee table, and go to his side. He doesn't see me, but he puts his quill down, obviously lost. I look over his paper, and I can't help myself. I push one of my two braids back, and lean over.

"Here's your problem," I say in the smoothest voice I can, as I put my finger on his mistake. He starts violently; good, I scared him. I reach my arm across his body and dip the quill in the ink. He begins to breathe normally again, until I gracefully, and seemingly unintentionally, brush my hand across his face. I am listening as I rewrite his report statistics, hoping for a sign of change. I can feel his heartbeat going fast and strong when I put my hand on his shoulder.

He finally regains some composure and speaks up a simple "Thanks." Hook, line, and sinker. Maybe this whole patience thing works. I take my hand from his shoulder and turn around to lean on the desk.

"Why, you look as though you've been up all night," I say sweetly, as though I hadn't noticed anything different about his actions. Suddenly, I think Dream Hermione and I may have more in common than I'd have liked to think.

Percy opens his mouth to say something, but it seems the words won't come. He finally manages to nod. I smile at him and put his papers away in his bag. I pick up the bag in one hand, and take one of his in my other. "Come on, you're going to sleep," I encourage him. He lets me take him upstairs and into his room. I put the bag on his desk before I steer him to his bed.

I move him backwards until his knees hit the bed and he has to sit down. I try to push him down so he can sleep, but he takes my wrists gently in his hands. I don't resist, and look into his eyes. His eyes are like two glass pools, smooth, serene, and immeasurably deep, and I keep my gaze locked with his. He gently pulls my arms past his body, so that I have to come down to his level on the bed.

We stay like that for a long time, not moving, barely daring to breathe. Suddenly it seems that my world is reduced to this very moment for which I have waited four and a half years. I cannot see anything but the man before me, and now all I can remember is the things I did over the years to make him see me. I have topped all my classes, obeyed most of the rules, received the highest praise from every teacher, been a very good friend to every Weasley, helped Ron and Ginny with their homework; I have even begun to care about my looks, and now I have become a prefect. He has never seen my efforts or my toils, but he praised me earlier. He smiled as brightly as he did my first day at Hogwarts when I told him of my latest accomplishment. And now I am here, so close.

I think I have memorized his eyes now, and not seeing them for a moment is fine. I lean down, just a little closer. I close my eyes and his hands draw me in to him. And then he presses his lips tenderly to mine, and all the waiting for a moment of bliss is worth it. In that kiss, simple as it is, is all the time I have waited, all of the pain he has suffered, and all the love we share.

Tenderly still, we part. Our faces barely apart, I open my eyes. When I see his face, my breath becomes deeper. And I push my face forward into another kiss, slightly more passionate, less quiet. It feels as though I am never going to see him again, as though this is our last kiss; I can't help the feeling of urgency with which I kiss him.

Before long we part again and stay still, just looking. I fall forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. I put my head on his shoulder and can't stop the tears that come. I have never felt more fulfilled than I do now. He encircles my waist with his arms; I have never felt more loved.

"I have waited far too long for this," I whisper. I can't contain the feeling of achieving a dream; it is too wonderful to be true.

"Have you?" he asks with a heartbreakingly tender voice. "How long?"

"Since my first year, when you did to me what I did to you at the table just now." I stop crying, the weight off my shoulders, and just hold onto the man I have loved for so long.

"Very crafty of you, to pay me back for what I made you live with," he says sympathetically. He is not the sadistic type, just as kind as can be.

I leave it at that, content just to stay like this for ever and ever. And so we stay, sitting with each other, happily. When his clock finally sounds at seven, some time later, I get up.

"Well, that only gives you an hour to sleep, so get right on it!" I laugh, pretending to boss him around. "And don't forget, Weasley, I love you." I kiss his forehead and leave the room.

I quietly make my way back into Ginny's room. She is already up, writing a letter to her dear love, Colin. I smile at her as she engages me in conversation; when we are ready to tell, I have a feeling I shall tell Ginny first. But until, I shall just be happy with what I have. Percy's love.