Sometimes That's What It Takes

Chapter 5

"I don't think you understand quite how serious these charges are, Susan." Harry shook his head and tapped the parchment on the table in front of him. "We have unprovoked cursing, use of a non-catalogued spell, reckless endangerment of life and limb--"

"Unprovoked? I should say she provoked me!" Susan squeaked indignantly.

"Did she have her wand out?"

"N-- Yes! Yes, she did," Susan exclaimed triumphantly and pointed at Harry. "She had it out and was going to hex me."

Harry ran a hand over his face. It was after midnight, and they weren't getting anywhere. He hadn't had any trouble finding Susan at her flat, nor in bringing her in for questioning. She had been quite cooperative, in every respect. Except in agreeing to end the spell she'd cast on Hermione.

"All right," he sighed. "Let's say, simply for the sake of argument, that she did."

Susan looked pleased with herself.

"Whatever threat there may have been is over now. You're sitting here, safe and sound. Hermione, on the other hand, is floating on a cloud somewhere over northwest England. She could potentially fall to her death at any moment." He conveniently left out the fact that Hermione was in possession of Ron's broom and would thus most likely be able to survive said potential fall. Most likely wasn't certainty, however. Plus, he wanted to turn the screws on Susan's conscience. If she had one.

She remained untouched. In fact, she sniffed derisively and announced, "She has the power to free herself."

"How?" Harry nearly shouted, exasperated. "She's tried everything, we've tried everything we can think of. She can't Apparate, cancel the spell, or leave the cloud."

Susan tossed her head and jutted out her chin. "All she has to do is renounce Severus."

Harry eyed her shrewdly. "Professor Snape? What does he have to do with this?"

Susan studied her nails. "If she gives up any claim on him, the enchantment will end on its own."

"Hermione has no claim on Professor Snape," Harry said.

Susan looked displeased. "The spell seems to think she does."

Harry stared at her. "Let me get this straight. You came up with a spell which gets rid of anyone who wants Professor Snape?"

Susan appeared to consider this for a moment. "I don't think that's entirely accurate; it's something of a cross between the Unwanted Suitor Charm and the Exile Enchantment. The spell is keyed to me, though, not to Severus. I had to have some means of removing potential rivals, you see," she explained matter-of-factly, warming up now that Harry had stopped asking questions and railing at her, and was standing there, supporting himself against the table with one arm, his mouth hanging halfway open in what she took to be rapt attention. "It will only work on someone who carries a torch for the same person I do. Which happens to be Severus," she said, biting her lip coyly. "I know you understand me, Harry. After all you've done for him." She looked at Harry so ingenuously that all he could do was nod.

"I've followed his story for years," she went on. "I realised right away he needed someone to take care of him, so I trained as a Healer. I put my nose to the grindstone and finished the programme in only three years, but of course by then he was already living at home, practically a recluse! It's all that Hermione Granger's doing! She's been keeping him there, not letting him out, keeping him drugged so he can't think straight. I don't know why someone hasn't done anything!" She looked accusingly at Harry.

He sat down slowly, fascinated. He hadn't heard a yarn this good in years. "I don't know, either," he said, carefully. "But go on."

"Well, I found out there was one other person who went to his house regularly, and who was allowed to be there alone with him: Madam Raffles, his physical therapist." Susan's eyes narrowed. "I saw my only chance was to take her place. So I spent the last year getting my certification, and as soon as Madam Raffles was out of the way, I made sure mine was the only application that would be reviewed."

Harry stirred. "That was quite a coincidence, wasn't it? Madam Raffles getting sick and needing to leave the country right then?"

Susan looked surprised. "Oh, it was no coincidence. St. Mungo's has quite a collection of viral agents."

Harry paused for a moment. "What House did you say you were in?"

"Hufflepuff." Susan cocked her head to one side.

"Riiiiight..." Harry did not pursue it further. "And so once Madam Raffles was out of the way, you had your entrée to Professor Snape's house."

Susan looked pleased that Harry had comprehended her entire plan. "That's right."

"And along the way, you came up with this spell... What did you say it was called?"

Susan looked at him slyly. "Now, I can't give that away, can I? You'll send the information straight down to the curse breakers and get them to release Hermione."

"Susan, you do realise you have to let her go," he said reasonably. "You can't leave her up there. What happens when the sky clears?"

Susan was unconcerned. "Oh, she'll pop over to the next cloud bank. I think." She frowned. "I've never actually had it work on anyone before, although I did try it on Madam Raffles, before I resorted to the rare diseases research lab. Strange. After working so closely with Severus for so many months, I don't see how she couldn't have fallen in love with him."

"The mind truly boggles."

"Well, I believe we're done here, then," Susan said brightly, standing up. "Severus and I had the loveliest time this afternoon, with the influence of that awful girl removed from our life. I'm sure if you'll explain to her that she needs to give up her fanciful notion of ever having a chance with Severus, she can be right as rain and on her way in no time." She giggled. "Rain. That's funny. Clouds. Do you get it, Harry?"

Harry nodded and stood as well. "Yes, Susan, I'm afraid I do. And I'm afraid you won't be going anywhere just yet. I'm not going to charge you officially tonight, not until you've had a chance to consider the gravity of your situation. I'll have someone bring you to a holding cell where you can wait until morning. If you change your mind about reversing the spell, things may go easier for you."

Harry left the building with Susan's infuriated screams ringing in his ears.

******

I had started to doze off by the time Ron came back. I don't think I could actually have fallen asleep; it was too cold for that. I kept poking my wand alternately into my right boot, then my left one, with a Heating Charm going, to keep my toes from getting numb. I held the broom with one hand, balanced across my lap, just in case.

"Harry not back yet?" Ron asked as he floated in front of me on a borrowed broom. He had a miner's lamp strapped to his forehead, and it was glaring into my eyes.

"Could you turn that thing off?" I asked, cupping my hands over my face. "And no, Harry hasn't been back yet."

"Here, I've got one of Mum's Thermal Blankets, a thermos full of hot tea, and some sandwiches." He shrugged his way out of a bulky rucksack which was strapped to his back, and held it out to me.

"Thanks." I tried to balance the rucksack on my lap along with the broom, and wrest its contents out without anything falling. It wasn't easy. Getting at the blanket was the first order of business. As soon as I draped it over my shoulders, its inherent Warming Charm kicked in. Instant gratification. Next came the sandwiches. After a bit of fumbling, I managed to separate out one and unwrap it. It smelled heavenly: egg and cress. I sank my teeth into it, practically shaking with pleasure. I hadn't realised I was so hungry.

"Here, pass me one too, will you?"

I paused and stared at him, unable to speak due to the enormous bite of egg-and-cress in my mouth. I couldn't believe he was actually asking for one of my sandwiches. But then I could. When had Ron ever passed up an opportunity for free food?

"What?" he said, correctly interpreting the look I was giving him. "Mum must have packed five or six in there. You're not going to eat them all."

"Maybe not tonight," I said, after I'd finally swallowed. "What if I'm still here in the morning?"

"I'll bring you more. Come on, it's hard work flying all over creation and back, running errands for you."

I had no words. I silently dug out another sandwich and handed it over.

"Thanks." He unwrapped it and tucked in. "Wonder what's taking Harry so long," he said around a mouthful of bread.

"Maybe he had trouble finding her," I suggested. I wondered if he'd tried the Professor's house. The thought of the two of them there, together, alone, holed up for hours, made me feel quite desolate. I pulled the blanket tighter.

Just then, I saw a light flickering some distance off. At first I thought it was an aeroplane, but from the way it bobbed along, I soon realised it must be Harry.

"Hey, Harry," Ron said, as soon as Harry was within earshot. "Did you find her?"

Harry pulled up and hovered next to Ron. "I found her," he confirmed as he turned off his own headlamp. The happy news was not matched by his expression. I began to get a sinking feeling.

"Don't tell me," I said. "She won't reverse the spell."

"I think you're right about her, Hermione. She's loony. Certifiable. Turns out what she's done to you is probably only the tip of the iceberg."

An awful, cold ball formed in my stomach. I could barely bring myself to say it out loud, but I had to know. "She hasn't... She didn't hurt the Professor, did she?"

Harry looked startled. "I don't know. Didn't actually think of that." He rubbed the back of his neck. "She was going on so much about how she was in love with him" --Ron made a rude noise-- "it never occurred to me she might have done anything to him, too. You're right, though, I'd better check it out."

Now I was getting into a panic. My own predicament meant nothing. I was safe -- yes, I was magically attached to a mass of condensed water, but I had all my limbs, my wits, and my magic. I didn't even want to imagine what she might have done to the Professor.

"Harry, please, go find him now!" I pleaded. "I wouldn't put anything past her!"

"I will, I promise. But first, let me tell you what she said. There might be a way for you to get out of this."

"Harry!" We'd left Professor Snape in the lurch once, when we could have helped him. We couldn't do that to him again!

"Listen to him, Hermione," Ron said soothingly. "We'll check up on Snape, I promise. Anyway, if she did off him, there's not much we can do about it now, is there?"

"And she's being held under observation," Harry added. "She won't be doing anything to anyone else for a while at least. Right. She said..." He stuck his fingers into a pocket of his robes and pulled out a small notebook, which he consulted. "She wouldn't tell me the incantation for the spell she cast on you, but she did make it up herself. Said it was 'a cross between the Unwanted Suitor Charm and the Exile Enchantment'," he read from his notes. "Does that mean anything to you?"

I forced myself to turn my thoughts away from memories of Professor Snape exsanguinating on the floor of the Shrieking Shack and flipped through my internal index of spells. "Well, the Exile Enchantment is clear. It's similar to a Banishing Charm, but sends the target to a real physical location. I don't know the other one. But I think it's clear what the intent is. I am the unwanted suitor. There must be more to it than that, though. Oh, if only I could get to a library!"

"I've got someone working on it," Harry said reassuringly. "They may not be as brilliant as you, but I'm certain they'll come up with something soon. Once we get the spell pinned down, we can take another crack at cancelling it. In the meantime, though, there might be another way. Now, don't take this the wrong way, and Ron, please, keep quiet."

"I haven't said a word!" Ron said indignantly.

"And I'd like for it to stay that way. Right. Hermione..." He turned to me with the attitude of someone having to deliver very unpleasant news. "Susan said the spell is keyed to her, who she 'carries a torch for', is the way she put it. It only works on someone who is..." Harry took a breath and, forcing himself to be as calm and neutral as possible, said, "...in love with the same person she is."

There was momentary silence while we all digested that. Well, I knew I was in love with the Professor. It wasn't much of a revelation to me. The oddness lay in having it stated so baldly, however; to have it acknowledged like that in front of both Harry and Ron.

Ron seemed to have got it by this point, as a groan emanated from his general direction. "Oh, bloody hell..."

"Ron," Harry said sternly. "That's not going to help."

"Really? Did you have to go and fall in love with him?" Ron whinged. "I thought it was just some..." He waved his sandwich around helplessly. "... some do-gooder thing, a project, like with the house-elves."

"He is not a 'project'," I huffed. "I quite enjoy his company."

Ron's face screwed up. "You haven't-- I mean, the two of you, you haven't..." He twirled his finger around in the air suggestively.

"No! Not that it's any of your business, but no! He has no idea," I admitted. "And it's going to stay that way!" I glared at him.

Ron put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, no worries, he won't hear it from me."

"Hermione," Harry interjected at this point, "getting back to this spell." He appeared to consider carefully how he was going to deploy the bombshell. "Susan said if you would renounce your feelings for him, whatever they are... you would be released." I could tell he was watching me for signs of an explosion, but I didn't feel angry. Only drained.

"Harry, I didn't ask for this. Any of this." I shrugged uncomfortably. "It just happened."

"But think about it, Hermione," he said gently. "Snape's never going to change. Chances are, even if he knew how you felt... nothing would come of it. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Pining over someone you can never have? Someone who wouldn't even be good for you in the first place?"

I was hurt by his words, deeply hurt. Although I recognised the truth in them.

"You're still young, Hermione. You can be anything you want. Maybe it's time to move ahead. You know I'm only saying this because I love you. If you and Snape made each other happy, that would be one thing. But as far as I can see, you're miserable over him, and he couldn't give a rat's arse about anything, not even himself."

"Listen to him, Hermione," Ron said, swallowing the last of his sandwich. "The man makes sense."

I couldn't say anything for a moment. The lump in my throat was too big. If I was to give up on Professor Snape, though, there was something I needed to know.

"Harry..." I had to clear my throat, and then asked, quietly, "Do you think... Was she telling the truth at all? About her and Professor Snape?"

Harry regarded me. I could tell he was weighing how much to tell me. "I don't know," he said finally. "She said a lot of crazy things during the interview, but I didn't get the impression she was lying. She seemed only too pleased with how things had worked out for her."

"I see," I said, trying not to let on how much that hurt.

"On the other hand," Harry said, cocking his head, as if remembering, "I don't think she actually said she and Snape were 'together', if you get my meaning. Only that they spent the afternoon together, but then she was supposed to see him for his therapy session anyway, right?"

"Yes," I agreed, but I wasn't appeased.

"Well, I'd better get back," Harry said, all business again. "See if any new developments have come up. And," he added, at my sharp, pleading look, "I'll check on Snape. I promise."

I nodded. "Thanks," I managed to whisper.

He reached over and gave me a one-armed hug. Then Ron did, too, and it was the three of us again. Something snapped in me, and I started bawling. To their credit, neither of the boys let go until my sobs had subsided and I was able to breathe again.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, and cleaned my face with a Tergeo. "I know you two are right. I just... wish it wasn't so hard."

"Buck up, Hermione, there are loads of blokes out there dying to read books with you, or listen to you tell them about books you read, or..." Ron appeared to be grasping for what I might find attractive in a man. "...read books to you," he finally came up with, looking quite pleased with himself.

I gave him a watery smile. "Thanks, Ron. You know me so well."

He grinned. "You're our girl. You know we'll always look out for you."

"I know," I said with a sigh.

"Will you stay with her then, Ron?" Harry asked.

"What-- er, I mean... Yeah, sure," Ron said, clearly not having expected to.

"Cheers," Harry said. "We'll get you out of this one way or the other, Hermione; you'll see!" He circled around, turned on his headlamp, and waved before he dived into the clouds.

"You don't have to stay, Ron," I said, once we were alone.

"No, no, it's fine," he said stoically, hunching up his shoulders against the cold. "I'll just, you know, sit here. On my broom. You can tell me about a book you've read." He braced himself.

I laughed. "You can't sit there all night. You'll fall asleep and fall off. Look, I'll be fine. I might even be able to get some sleep," I said, trying to sound cheerful. To demonstrate, I buckled up the rucksack, strapped it to my chest, and lay down, still holding tightly to the broom Ron had given me earlier. I had to wrap the blanket tightly around my legs so it wouldn't hang into the clouds. "Look, all cosy!" I felt like an overburdened mummy.

"Hermione, I can't leave you all alone."

I sat up again. "Yes, you can, Ron. It won't do us any good for you to sit up here, freezing all night. You know what?" I said with a sudden inspiration. "You could bring me something. A couple of things, actually. First, a book." I laughed again as he rolled his eyes at my predictability. "I know, but it gets pretty boring sitting here for hours and hours. If you go to my office, I have a stack of books I've been meaning to read in my bottom drawer. Any one will do.

"And the second thing is, several lengths of cord. I want to tie these things to me, so I don't have to juggle them all the time." I indicated the broom, rucksack, and blanket. "I'm constantly worried I'm going to let something fall, and it will kill someone down below."

"Sure," Ron said tiredly. "Anything else?"

"Yes. I don't want to see you back here before eight a.m.," I said in my most bossy tone.

I could tell Ron was torn between loyalty to me and his warm bed.

"I mean it! You go home now and get some sleep. I'll be fine."

"If you're sure..."

"Positive. Honestly, I'd only worry if you stay," I said firmly.

"Harry'll kill me."

"He'll have to go through me first. And anyway, I'm sure this won't last much longer. Either Susan will snap, or Harry's people will figure out how to reverse the spell. I'll probably be back home before you are." Truthfully, I wasn't at all confident of either scenario, but I didn't see any other way to assuage Ron's sense of duty. And I wanted to be alone. I needed to think about things, and I couldn't do it with Ron hanging about next to me. Literally.

"If you need anything, all you have to do is send word."

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Book and cords. Got it." He turned on his headlamp.

"I love you, Ron," I said sweetly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he said, embarrassed but pleased. "Good thing I don't have any loopy admirers." He flew a circle around me, preparing to descend. "Snape? Really?"

"Good night, Ron," I said in an exasperated tone, but I couldn't help smiling.

And then he was swallowed up by the clouds, and I was left alone in the dark. At least I was warm now, thanks to Molly's blanket. I remembered the tea, too, and opened the rucksack up to get it out. She'd remembered to put sugar in. I felt a lump in my throat again.

Snape? Really? Ron's question echoed in my head. And Harry's words, as well. Was this how I wanted to live the rest of my life? Waiting for the Professor? Because, I had to admit to myself, that's exactly what I was doing. Not that I didn't have other interests, other goals, or other social contacts. But there was a part of me that hoped, that had reserved a corner of my heart for him, and as long as that was occupied, no one else had a chance with me. And I did want to share my life with someone. Although I had friends, good ones, I was lonely.

So many times, too, I'd thought Professor Snape and I had a real connection, a sense of understanding and commonality. Had that all been nothing more than my imagination? He'd been gruff this afternoon -- yesterday, now -- but he wasn't always so off-putting. There were times when he seemed to let his guard down, when he relaxed and even joked with me, albeit in his usual sardonic manner. I'd thought we were friends.

All I had to do was give up this silly notion of being in love with him, and I could get back to my regular life. The mere idea tore at my heart, made a physical ache start somewhere deep in my gut. I didn't want to give him up. I didn't even want to give up the idea of him. Not unless he told me outright that he no longer wanted me in any part of his life.

It must have been the wee hours of the morning by now; the moon had come up, bathing the cloudscape in its soft glow. I'd finished the tea, so I re-packed the thermos and lay down again, clutching the rucksack and broom to my chest. "Severus," I whispered, but the wind snatched the word away, and it was gone before it had even reached my ears.